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kmk
Supporter
Username: Kmk
Post Number: 1121
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 4:40 pm: | 
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I have to say mine is a tie..
It was either the quiche dish (which is OK) with the half scraped-off price tag from a bargain basement store, wrapped completely in newspaper and hand delivered to us by my husband's wealthy aunt and uncle or
the dented silver water "jug" with a half-scraped off price tag or
the flourescent-colored platter in the shape of a large ugly fish. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5204
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 4:43 pm: |
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Wow, you guys amaze me that you remember all your gifts! The only one I remember was a Crystal Waterford Vase that was a regift. I hated the thing, but we end up using it all the time now... |
Eats Shoots & Leaves
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 3183
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 4:47 pm: |
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Divorce papers  |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4215
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 4:56 pm: |
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We weren't invited to my husband's cousin's wedding, and since they hadn't spoken in years (and never even met me, even after 8 years of dating) we didn't invite them. Little did we know my in-laws blew off several of his brother's (and his many kids') affairs. So, his wife calls up, insisting we invite all the cousins. The one cousin, about our age, gave us a $50 check. It bounced. His dad told us to redeposit it. It bounced again. It cost us $40 in check fees and we never even got a gift from this loser we didn't want to invite anyway! Of course he never married so we couldn't reciprocate. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13325
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 5:07 pm: |
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I was amused when we received something, and I couldn't tell what it was. I called it a what-is-it. It was a cake plate, but it looked like an oversized champagne glass.
Sorry, ESL. But you know I've been down a similar path, worse in some ways and not as bad in others.
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Brett Weir
Citizen
Username: Brett_weir
Post Number: 1396
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 5:15 pm: |
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My sister offered to sing our Wedding Song. She has a lovely voice and has performed all of her life. She destroyed it. We don't speak... |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 1510
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 5:49 pm: |
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VIG, I would have called the "wife" back up and demanded payment from her. Fudge her. She DESERVED to be embaressed. I would have laughed if you told me that you received a $90 cashier's check from the deadbeat cousin after all was said and done. |
Eats Shoots & Leaves
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 3184
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 6:37 pm: |
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Tom, I almost also posted the same thing under My Favorite Wedding Gift but I thought it would not be taken the right way. It has been a very mixed bag, full of good opportunities for growth, and also full of pain and emptiness. |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4217
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 8:21 pm: |
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Alley, we saw the parents a few months later at a family bbq and the mom (the guy's step-mom) had the gall to say to me, "he has to learn to pay his bills" or something to that effect. I was in shock. |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 1568
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, March 30, 2006 - 8:29 pm: |
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I (we at the time) got two beach towels and a power drill (from the same person).
Rather than it being the "worst" wedding gift, I would instead say it was the funniest.
ESL, I've also been down that path, and I would very much agree that it has been a mixed bag, exactly as you described it. |
thegoodsgt
Citizen
Username: Thegoodsgt
Post Number: 938
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 7:34 am: |
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A crystal picture frame, something like this.
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The Soulful Mr T
Citizen
Username: Howardt
Post Number: 1706
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 8:28 am: |
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We were given an expensive silver serving tray that was a wee bit ugly and didnt go with anything we had. So, we took it back to the store in the West Village and returned it. It wasn't a bad gift, and we love the people who gave it to us. It just wasn't us.
A few months later, the couple who had given it to us were coming over for dinner so we had to go back to the store and buy it so they would see it in our apartment. We've since kept it and we've used it a few times, too. |
summerbabe
Citizen
Username: Summerbabe
Post Number: 61
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 10:44 am: |
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We got a bell ornament that looked like it was purchased for about $2.99 at a post-Christmas sale (our wedding was in early October). This from a woman who couldn't handle her liquor and was extremely loud at our wedding. Nice!
Oh, and VIG, we also received a bounced check for $50 from a cousin of my father's. She was mortified, of course, and sent us another one. What pissed me off about the whole affair was that each of these cousins gave us $50, when for the last twenty years for their kids' weddings, my family has given every one of their kids $150-$200 for their weddings. And our wedding was a far nicer affair than any of them had ever thrown. I know it's petty, but it still really bugs me when I think about it. I would never dream of not reciprocating what someone gave me, and it's not like these people couldn't financially handle it. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13345
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 10:54 am: |
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summerbabe, that illustrates one of the problems with giving money. I'm not against money, but I'm pointing out a disadvantage. I don't keep track of who gave or received how much money. So if I give less than I received, it's a snub in someone's eyes. If I gave you a pitcher and you gave me napkin rings, we probably wouldn't have that resentment. And if we're supposed to reciprocate with the same amount, we're even, and what's the point of a gift. Oh, I suppose I understand that when you're getting married, you need the money more, and once you're established, you're in a better position to give. But if we're approaching a practice of making things even-steven, the joy of giving is diminished.
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BGS
Citizen
Username: Bgs
Post Number: 832
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 11:03 am: |
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Tom I totally agree with you!! When we were married, my mother in law wanted a list of the gifts from her side of the family. She wanted tokeep up with what was given to us when she went to subsequent weddings so she and my father in law would not "snub" the children of her brothers, sisters, cousins etc. I had never heard of this in my life.
I prefer to give a gift because I really do try to give something that I think that the couple will like and I always make sure that it is returnable.
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Lou
Citizen
Username: Flf
Post Number: 95
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 11:08 am: |
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We didn't received wedding gifts from everyone that went to our wedding, but we didn't care so much about the gifts as we did about the people. Everyone we had at our wedding were our guests (not our parents') and people that we were happy to share the day with - if they could afford an expensive gift or no gift at all, it didn't matter to us one bit.
One of the guests that didn't give us any physical gift, was my friend Michel (a famous French tap-dancer with whom I tapdanced for years) instead, he surprised us with his accordion and tapdanced for everyone during the beginning of our reception. No money involved, but simply the best intentions and a great gift. We also had few people from my mom side, that I feel very affectionate with, that drove all the way from the country side to come to our wedding (they rarely get to go into the "big city"), they didn't give us anything, yet I was just happy and honored that they made such a long drive to come share the day with us. |
summerbabe
Citizen
Username: Summerbabe
Post Number: 63
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 11:35 am: |
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Well, Tom, I agree that money as a gift does create problems. That's why I personally don't give cash or checks as gifts. I stick to registries or I buy something from Tiffany & Co. that is inoffensive and could match any decor or taste. That said, I do have an idea of what is an acceptable amount to give when someone gets married and I think that in this day and age, most people should have an idea of what's acceptable. This doesn't take into account if someone can't afford it (that's different -- we had tons of friends who are struggling in their careers come to our wedding and we were just happy to have them there. We certainly didn't expect anything from them). In the case of these distant relatives, I honestly didn't even want them at our wedding. They are my father's cousins (and there are about ten of them) and the only reason they were invited was to appease my father, who had been very ill at the time and passed away right before the wedding. It was a complicated situation.
But in terms of reciprocality, I don't keep a scorecard or anything, but I do have a good memory (I always have), and, personally, I think it would be bad form to give someone considerably less than what they gave me, but that's just me.
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Lydia
Supporter
Username: Lydial
Post Number: 1746
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 9:50 pm: |
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Lou - that's what our wedding was like too - our friends gave us what they wanted us to have.
I use the knives, everyday bowls and stuff we bought with gift certificates and cash daily - most of the "fancy" gifts ended up at tag sales and silent auctions, with my best wishes attached.
We're not into cut crystal, but someone else is. Nothing wrong with passing things along.
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CFA
Citizen
Username: Cfa
Post Number: 1614
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, March 31, 2006 - 11:58 pm: |
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Brett, in my opinion, that's a stupid reason for you not to speak with your sister. What's more important, the relationship with your sister or a wedding song? |
Kibbegirl
Citizen
Username: Kibbegirl
Post Number: 444
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 1, 2006 - 7:20 am: |
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We had our wedding out of state, outdoors at my brother in law's Virginia mansion. We stole every idea from Martha Stewart's "Weddings" book and the grounds, the tent, the flowers, etc. was absolutely stunning. I'm a huge advocate of RSVP'ing. We purposely did not invite several "extended family members" because we had not seen these people in decades. An hour of so before our wedding, lo and behold arrives CAR LOADS of my husband's "extended family" -- UNINVITED and GIFTLESS and LOUD from some hick town in North Carolina. My husband and I were mortified! The caterers and waitstaff scrambled to get more China settings and set up more tables for these losers! They totally f'ed up our seating arrangements and several of them even MOVED CARDS to sit where they wanted to sit! Some even had the balls to sit at our two head tables reserved for our immediate families and wedding party! That's when the sh*t hit the fan! I demanded my mother-in-law go check her kin folk and tell them to sit in the back tables and to tone it down a notch. Looking back, she didn't appear as freaked as my husband and I were -- did she know they were crashing and was afraid to tell us? Hmmmm... It was one of those moments that everyone stops what they are doing just to look at the freak show. Oh, and did I also mention that one of the loudest crashers had on a bright PURPLE three piece suit with matching alligator shoes? I wish I were making this up. |
mjc
Citizen
Username: Mjc
Post Number: 1081
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, April 1, 2006 - 6:22 pm: |
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random wedding/gift musings
We had a very small wedding, probably well under 50 people, with the reception at our VERY small house. When my aunt arrived, she had in tow a cousin (and family) who happened to be her house guests at the time. I was THRILLED, as I hadn't seen this cousin in many years. She lived out of state, and I wouldn't have dreamed of sending her an invitation because it would just look like a gift request. They stayed on after most people had left, and it's a very happy memory.
For gifts, this is the wrong thread for the favorite gift, but I'm lazy. It's a toss-up between $100 from my (now ex-) husband's grandmother, which was wealth to us at the time (grad students in 1971), and at the second wedding a vase from a neighbor, that happened to match the wedding decorations. My husband hates it, and I hardly ever use it, but it brings me right back to that afternoon in that tiny house.
Happy memories and happy futures, all. |
kegel
Citizen
Username: Kegel
Post Number: 7
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, April 2, 2006 - 12:35 am: |
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(first marriage, 1995) I received a check for $25 from my Aunt. I normally wouldn't complain about this if it was anyone else, but she's a millionaire. Guess she didn't get rich by giving it away.
(2nd marriage, 2004) My Grandmother gave me a photo album. It was a re-gift. She TOLD me it was. Said it was from her 25th wedding aniversary (1965!) and she had no use for it. It's not a cool retro type photo album you might find at a botique, it's a really tacky dated one.
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frannyfree
Citizen
Username: Frannyfree
Post Number: 181
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 11:30 am: |
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This one just made us shake our heads.
We recieved this thing in the mail about 2 months after the wedding..
An old sweater in a large cardboard box that had been spray painted green.
The box and the sweater smelled of paint and the whole thing had to be thrown out.
This from a cousin, a movie producer, who, according to the card, thought this was a great gift. |
Brett Weir
Citizen
Username: Brett_weir
Post Number: 1419
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 11:45 am: |
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CFA- The "we don't speak" part had nothing to do with the song, though it is the truth. The song was, however, the worst gift of all. She knew our band well and swore up and down that she would connect with them, arrange a common key and even do a run-through before the guests arrived. She did none of that and it showed, and it was embarassing. But we all laughed the next day.
She stopped speaking to me and my wife four years later when we refused to take her part in a family issue- it amounted to emotional blackmail, and I won't be blackmailed. It's a complex family issue that we get tired of having to explain, so we back people off by saying "it was the Wedding Song". Works every time. |
Ily
Citizen
Username: Ily
Post Number: 237
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 4:48 pm: |
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We got a bouncing $50 check. We only deposited it once, so it was a bargin at -$20. We also had 2 couples 'no show,' never to be seen or heard from (by us) again. |
bella
Citizen
Username: Bella
Post Number: 567
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Monday, April 3, 2006 - 11:33 pm: |
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Tom, it sounds like you might have gotten a trifle dish. Excellent for serving trifle, and other layered desserts such as the dish nade with Nilla Wafers and banana pudding. |
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