| Author |
Message |
    
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3973
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 3:04 pm: | 
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Q)Why don't Southern girls like group sex?
A)Too many thank-you notes.
-s.
BTW: Humor Credit: nytimes.com |
Andrew Zorn
Citizen
Username: Andrewzorn
Post Number: 197
Registered: 1-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 3:09 pm: |
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Q: What is the difference between a fighting gamecock and a shyster lawyer?
A: One clucks defiance. |
mjh
Supporter
Username: Mjh
Post Number: 550
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 3:17 pm: |
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One for the (young!)kids:
Q: A nickel and a dime on top of the Empire State Building. The nickel jumped off. Why didn't the dime?
A: The dime had more sense. |
The Soulful Mr T
Citizen
Username: Howardt
Post Number: 1986
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 3:23 pm: |
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Why was 6 afraid of 7? (another one for the kiddies)
Cuz 7 8 9 ! |
ffof
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 4736
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 3:52 pm: |
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Here's a knock knock joke. You start it. |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 2121
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 4:13 pm: |
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My favorite kid-friendly riddle.
Q: What kind of bees give milk?
A: Boobies. |
Eats Shoots & Leaves
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 3380
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 4:24 pm: |
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Another one the kids love:
You have 24 nick-nacks on the table, and 23 roll off. What is left, a nick or a nack? (it works much better saying it out loud). |
daylaborer
Citizen
Username: Upondaroof
Post Number: 726
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 6:40 pm: |
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Knock Knock |
Nohero
Supporter
Username: Nohero
Post Number: 5432
Registered: 10-1999
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 8:06 pm: |
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Who's there? |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 405
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 8:10 pm: |
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You |
daylaborer
Citizen
Username: Upondaroof
Post Number: 728
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 24, 2006 - 8:53 pm: |
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Don't look at me. ffof started it! |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3974
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 8:50 am: |
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When is a door not a door?
-s. |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 410
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 8:51 am: |
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When it's ajar...
boom boom |
Popo
Citizen
Username: Popo
Post Number: 69
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 12:09 pm: |
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Q. How is a basketball player like a baby?
A. They both dribble. |
kathy
Citizen
Username: Kathy
Post Number: 1299
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 12:23 pm: |
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Here is my grandfather's favorite riddle. If anyone understands it, please let me know!
Q: Why is a mouse when it spins?
A: The higher, the fewer. |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 414
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 12:43 pm: |
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A man is in an art gallery looking at a portrait. He says out loud..
"Brothers, sisters have I none, but that mans Father is my Fathers son...."
Who is the portrait of? |
Eats Shoots & Leaves
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 3384
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 1:08 pm: |
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1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?
(scroll down for answer)
116 years (from 1337-1453)
2. How long did the Thirty Years War last?
Scroll down for answer
30 years (1618-1648) |
Wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2506
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 1:15 pm: |
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It's a self-portrait of that man, yes? |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 416
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 1:32 pm: |
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Yes!!
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Ima Perplecks
Citizen
Username: Victor
Post Number: 46
Registered: 6-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 1:35 pm: |
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kathy, that mouse thing put ima over the edge. |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3976
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 4:10 pm: |
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The answer, as always, is "Ishkabibbel".
-s.
BTW: Guess what? That's what. |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 419
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 4:31 pm: |
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What colour is the black box on a plane? |
daylaborer
Citizen
Username: Upondaroof
Post Number: 731
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 4:37 pm: |
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What do men do standing up, women sitting down and dogs on three legs? |
Andrew Zorn
Citizen
Username: Andrewzorn
Post Number: 198
Registered: 1-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 10:54 am: |
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Shake hands.
(That one didn't age so well, did it.) |
gj1
Citizen
Username: Gj1
Post Number: 356
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 12:20 pm: |
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Soparents & Wendy - the portrait is of his son, not himself.
"Brothers, sisters have I none, but that mans Father is my Fathers son...."
My father's son = ME (Brothers, sisters have I none)
So the statement is the same as "That man's father is ME" or "That man is my son"
--
What goes up, but at the same time goes down, up to the sky and down to the ground, my present tense and my past tense too, lets go for a ride just me and you...what am I?
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Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 425
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 12:26 pm: |
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gji - i'm confused....... I always worked out that the man was looking at a picture of himself...
Bothers sisters have I none (only child) but that man in the pictures father, is my fathers son, so it is himself..
Now you addle my brain further with that riddle......I can feel another coffee is badly needed!!! |
LilLB
Citizen
Username: Lillb
Post Number: 1723
Registered: 10-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 2:20 pm: |
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gj1 - I think that it is a portrait of himself too.
If it's my Father's son and I have no siblings, it has to be me. I'm the son of the Father. |
kathy
Citizen
Username: Kathy
Post Number: 1300
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 2:36 pm: |
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That man's father is my father's son. My father's son = me (no siblings). So that man's father is me (not that man is me). So that man is my son. |
LilLB
Citizen
Username: Lillb
Post Number: 1726
Registered: 10-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 2:39 pm: |
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hmmm...me thinks you are correct. My brain hurts. |
Wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2512
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 2:43 pm: |
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I still think it is or can be a self-portrait. But hey it's Friday and that's all the thinking I'm doing about it. |
Andrea Weisbard
Citizen
Username: Njnetsfan
Post Number: 457
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 9:27 am: |
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A guy walks into his doctors office and says "SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A TEE PEE AND SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A WIG WAM, WHAT' WRONG WITH ME?"
The doctor looks at the man and replies, "NOTHING, YOU'RE JUST TWO TENTS."
(IF YA DON'T GET IT, READ IT ALOUD THEN YOU'LL GET IT)
An elephant walks up to a naked man and says "how do you eat with that thing?"
A termite walks into a saloon and ask "IS THE BAR TENDER HERE?" |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3986
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 12:32 pm: |
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Good ones, Andrea.
Q)What time is it when an elephant sit on your car?
A)Time to buy a new car.
-s. |
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