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taam
Citizen
Username: Taam
Post Number: 197
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 1:18 pm: | 
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i just heard something & am wondering if it's true. i'll start by saying that i'm not looking to adopt. anyway, i know that u.s. adoption is expensive & that's why so many people opt to adopt babies/children from other countries (right?) i heard it is not expensive to adopt african american babies in the u.s. is this true? if so, why do so many people still adopt from other countries if there are so many african american babies here that need homes? i'm sorry if i sound naive, i'm really quite clueless about this & i hope i'm not offending anyone. i'm just curious & would love to be enlightened. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 789
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 1:29 pm: |
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it is sad to say but true.
That is why I could smack that stupid Angelina Jolie who stated that she is looking to adopt another child but is not sure what country since she needs a certain look to fit in with the other children.
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Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 790
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 1:32 pm: |
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My sister in law adopted a baby boy from Florida and had to wait a couple of years (the baby was male and white). She also adopted a baby girl she only had to wait a couple of months (the child is half african american half caucasian). |
Eats Shoots & Leaves
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 3457
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 1:45 pm: |
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There are some social workers and some in the African-American community who would prefer to see African-American children adopted by African-Americans and raised in their community, and this has led to some debate and probably lower placement rates with adoptive parents of other races. As an adoptive parent, I encountered this attitude in the early 1990's when we were deciding where to adopt our children from--several African-American adoption activists and social workers made it clear to us that this was their preference, and I know many agencies followed this policy informally so as to avoid conflict over the issue.
Just a hunch, but perhaps the legacy of racism in America against African-Americans has created a cultural gap between this community and the white community that has not been dealt with or easily breached. I think it is unfortunately culturally easier for a white family to adopt and raise a Latin American child or Asian child than it is for them to adopt an African-American child. I certainly do not condone this, but when I talk to white adoptive parents who have faced this issue I have heard this come up. Racial identity politics between African-Americans and whites seemed much scarier to them than similar issues regarding other nationalities. I know several white parents who have done a marvelous job raising their African-American adoptees in a culturally sensitive manner. But I think there are many more white adoptive parents who would not be comfortable enough to do this, but who have no problem integrating Columbian or Peruvian or Korean traditions into their family lives.
Of course, I am speaking only about whites adopting other races and nationalities--I have not spoken with any African-American parents who have adopted or sought to adopt white children. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 792
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 1:50 pm: |
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Wow how sad....a child is a child is a child is a child...
We have indeed become a soulless breed.. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1946
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 2:09 pm: |
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Having spent years in the nursery with the boarder babies I can attest: all babies smell cheesy and poop. As a matter of fact, most babies have the same color skin for the first few weeks of their lives, the main cultural difference being hair texture.
Sadly, I can also attest that I have a sister who adopted out of country so that the kid would have an easier time growing up looking like his white parents. |
Joanne G
Citizen
Username: Joanne
Post Number: 256
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 5:54 pm: |
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Gotta tell you, these attitudes aren't just in the USA: we have the same attitudes in Australia. When we first started to look at adoption (before we realsied we would never be able to afford it)we were told we'd never be able to adopt a Koori/Murri (indigenous) child as we're white, and that there was little chance we could adopt an Asian, African or South American child legally inside this country for the same reason.
The justification given is always for cultural reasons - which is a hoot in my case, as my family is like a mini-UN. I grew up with parents who spoke 17 languages, 5 of them nearly daily. I have Chinese aunts and cousins (now living in Canada), a cosuin's family were adopted by a Murri tribe after living in Nui Guinea; we've all married people from different countries with different language backgrounds. I work and have volunteered for 30 years in the field of multicultural women's groups, lobbying for social change in a variety of areas. So keeping customs, allowing language practice and honouring another calendar would just be normal to me...but hey, social workers know better!  |
Just The Aunt
Supporter
Username: Auntof13
Post Number: 5486
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 10:25 pm: |
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I think another reason a number of families choose to adopt children from other countries is to lesson the chance of one of the parents trying to take the child back. I know a number of families who have adopted from China and Russia for that reason. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1951
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 9:35 am: |
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You're right, JGA. Besides wanting a kid who looked like her, my sister also feared someone taking her child away at some point, which is almost impossible with foreign adoptions. |
C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 2690
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 11:34 am: |
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There are lots of reasons why people make the specific decisions they do. Just as there are many motivations for adoption itself. The fact is, there are children ALL OVER THE WORLD who need homes and families. Who cares why some adopt internationally or some will only adopt same-race? Be glad there are people who are willing to share their homes and lives with children who need them. Think about becoming one of them. Or encourage people you know to consider adoption. What we need are more homes/families for ALL of these children. |
Just The Aunt
Supporter
Username: Auntof13
Post Number: 5495
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 12:13 am: |
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C
I agree with you. |
Eats Shoots & Leaves
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 3467
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:01 am: |
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Adoption is an interesting phenomenon, in that it makes creating a family far more intentional than having home-grown kids. With home-grown kids, you are intentional in that you choose your mate and their background and genetics, to some degree--after that, it is much more on auto-pilot. But with adoptive families, you get to choose your child's background in far more explicit ways--gender, country of origin, physical status, religious background, almost like a buffet lunch. This can charge the decision with more apparent moral and other quandries, and I think adoptive parents need to be really clear with themselves as to their motivation, if only so that they do not inadvertently send mixed signals to their children.
When we adopted our children, I was amazed by how many people came up to me to congratulate me on what a great thing we had done for these "poor" children. (Interestingly, it was often someone who also identified themselves as "Christian"--as in, evangelical or born-again.) Heck, we never set out to rescue these "poor" kids or give someone a better life. It was a purely selfish motivation for us--we wanted to have kids and could not biologically do so. We wanted a family, period, and this was our route to creating one. In fact, my kids were not from a "poor" or neglected situation, and their birth parents probably would have done a fine job raising them if they had been in a position to do so.
The other thing I heard so often from women was that while it was wonderful that we were able to adopt to create our family, there is no way that they could ever give a child up for adoption. They said they would choose to abort instead, rather than experience the pain of having to give the child to someone else to raise. And I heard this often from women who otherwise were very conservative, traditional, and "Christian". I state this not as a comment in either way on the abortion issue or on their values, but simply to say it was something very noteworthy that I have heard many times. I am so glad that my children's birth mother chose to give birth to my sons and then had the strength to allow us to bring them into our family. Given what I have heard from other women, and from what I have seen when I met her, her personal strength and conviction is truly amazing.
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