| Author |
Message |
    
Duncan
Citizen
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 1417
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 11:02 pm: |     |
he said tongue firmly planted in cheek
Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
May I have your......"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID number..yeah hold on
ehh...it's 6102049996-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2301 and your cell number is 266-2566. Which number are you calling from sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where'd ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What do you recommend then?"
Operator: "You might try out low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week,sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family sized ones then. What's the damage?"
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage' as you put it, heh heh, comes to $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It will be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry, you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed you'd be using it."
Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 6, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless......)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "No, nothing....oh yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us fro offering free soda to diabetics."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
Wayne Gretzky |
Michaela May
Citizen
Username: Mayquene
Post Number: 28
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 11:12 pm: | |
Anybody seen www.bushin30seconds.org ? |
cjc
Citizen
Username: Cjc
Post Number: 677
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 9:19 am: | |
What strikes me about this well written parody is this is a private enterprise that has all this information. I get solicitations from private entities that have all sorts of information that I'm surprised they have.
In some of these areas, I'm not averse to Ashcroft having access to the same information that private entities already pass around without my permission. I don't think my bank went to a judge to get half the stuff they found. |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 1695
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 9:49 am: | |
Why trust the government more than private enterprise? History shows us this is a bad idea.
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
|
Don Perkins
Citizen
Username: Cowboy
Post Number: 258
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 11:08 am: | |
Duncan you should be careful what you wish for. It seems your favorite Democratic Senator, (the one on whom your party's 2008 hopes are pinned), Hillary Rodham Clinton, plans to focus this year on improving health care again. Her approach has already begun with a proposal to make sharing your medical information nationwide easier.
Be careful or they might not just share your medical records. I hope this news doesn't help push your "high blood pressure" any further.
Let's hope "Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice," as say Howard Dean for POTUS. Hey, aren't the Clintons busy enough these days running Wesley Clark's campaign?
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cjc
Citizen
Username: Cjc
Post Number: 682
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 11:33 am: | |
*.....from your mouth to Teddy Kennedy and Hillary Clinton and Howard Dean's ears! HA!
I was speaking only about law enforcement and national security in this case -- two places I wouldn't favor making private sector for a variety of reasons. |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 1698
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 11:36 am: | |
So if I have nothing to hide, I have nothing to fear?
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
|
Duncan
Citizen
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 1419
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 11:50 am: | |
Don..{expletive deleted} Be careful what I wish for?? What the hell do you know about what I wish for. THIS WAS SOMETHING I THOUGHT WAS FUNNY. thats all.
Hillary Clinton is far from my favorite senator for reasons you cannot possibly know. I am a little sick of the presumptions that because someone is a democrat they are automatically a lover of all things Clinton. THIS JUST AINT SO BUBBA.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
Wayne Gretzky |
Montagnard
Citizen
Username: Montagnard
Post Number: 356
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 1:24 pm: | |
Don, I think that your medical records are already being shared nationally by the big HMO's, except you have no control over what happens to them, especially when the customer service is outsourced to India. |
Michaela May
Citizen
Username: Mayquene
Post Number: 31
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 2:50 pm: | |
I don't think the party wants Hillary in 2008, as badly as is speculated. |
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