| Author |
Message |
    
Foj
Citizen
Username: Foger
Post Number: 961
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 9:03 pm: | 
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A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."
Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Bushcronium has a normal half-life of multiples of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Bushcronium can spontaneously transmute into Pandemonium. |
sbenois
Supporter
Username: Sbenois
Post Number: 14607
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 9:06 pm: |
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It's just a shame that it's not an inert gas. |
TomR
Citizen
Username: Tomr
Post Number: 998
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 9:22 pm: |
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Foj,
Is that original, and if so, may I republish?
With appropriate attribution, of course.
TomR |
Foj
Citizen
Username: Foger
Post Number: 964
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 9:56 pm: |
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Its not mine- found it here-
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364 x446297 |
tulip
Citizen
Username: Braveheart
Post Number: 3210
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 10:08 pm: |
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tom
Citizen
Username: Tom
Post Number: 4372
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 10:58 am: |
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Despite being inert, it can be made to interact with the "reality-based world" though the catalysts Incompetonium and Dumbassium. |
Ond
Citizen
Username: Ond
Post Number: 72
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 11:04 am: |
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Theoretically bushcronium will rapidly decay in the presence of logicium. Unfortunately, funding cuts have curtailed the discovery of this, the rarest of all elements. |
themp
Supporter
Username: Themp
Post Number: 2564
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 11:08 am: |
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But why would anyone turn such a vile substance loose on our world? |
tjohn
Supporter
Username: Tjohn
Post Number: 4055
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 11:15 am: |
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Interestingly, Republicanium is self-destructively attracted to any isotopes of Democratium containing subatomic particles called hardons. |
tom
Citizen
Username: Tom
Post Number: 4373
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 11:39 am: |
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no one could have predicted what the results of these reactions would be. |
Ond
Citizen
Username: Ond
Post Number: 73
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 1:57 pm: |
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Research into democratium hardons was instrumental in the initial development of bushcronium. |
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