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Foj
Citizen
Username: Foger
Post Number: 1670
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Friday, July 21, 2006 - 10:31 pm: | 
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All through the McMansion there has been a super-charged atmosphere for weeks, as the family gets ready for their big trip.. Cindy cannot tear herself from the TV. Fox News is sending her "signals"..It's all falling into place.. It's TIME to get ready..The anticipation is so great that the whole family is almost in danger of being mistaken for Shakers..
Sometimes it seems as if there is too much to do, to ever get ready, but then this trip requires no packing (all worldly goods will be left behind)...but Jim has faithfully been washing and waxing the cars..(cleanliness IS next to Godliness, after all)
Cindy Lou still has Consuela dust all the treasures and wax the antique furniture.
The best part of the whole anticipation is that Cindy Lou has finally been able to give up that darned daily trip to the gym. She wonders aloud sometimes, if her gym-buddies miss her. (Jesus loves her just as she is). Of course while the pre-Rapture time passes, there's no need to pass up all those "forbidden fruits"...and she's not talking about APPLES..
Gluttony is a sin, but even Jesus will surely be in favor of the family savoring the last few bits of "worldly goods", so the Domino's guy has been getting a real workout, and those "all-you-can-eat" places are a treasure too (especially the dessert table), now that dieting is not necessary. Those expensive size 2's can just hang there for all eternity.. Cindy Lou won't be needing them when she meets Jesus.
Jim is having a "wardrobe" quandary though, and has faithfully been researching the exact time-frame of the rapture itself.. You see, he is wondering if he should swallow those little pills as he gets raptured, because if he puts them in his pockets, they will get left behind. He's hoping that things "up there" will be so perfect that the little pills won't be necessary for his issues "down there", but the Bible does say "Always Be Prepared"...(or.. that was the boy scouts manual.)... anyway he's thinking that if he swallows them really fast, he and Cindy Lou can truly "christen" their new digs up there with Jesus. Surely Jesus will be distracted at SOME point, what with all the fellow Christians arriving en masse.. Perhaps they can sneak off to a secluded place and have some privacy. Rumor has it that privacy still might exist "up there"..
The children are have a few difficulties preparing for their journey. Sixteen year old Tiffani swears it's because she's rather attached to her charge cards, and her Morris Minor, but unbeknownst to the parents, it's really because her secret boyfriend just happens to be named Carlos, and being Catholic, he's being left behind. This will come as good news to his Mom, Consuela.
Jacob Lucas (aged 18, and a freshman in college) is not all that happy to leave his friends. He's seriously thinking of converting to the Baha'i faith just in case. He says he will, but he may not actually have time, since Mom & Dad are pretty sure this whole thing's going down pretty soon. Jake has always been a procrastintor, so he still carries around the unread flyers about the faith. He may get around to reading them after the Beer Bash this weekend.
One good thing about the rapture is that Mom & Dad have given him full use of the credit cards, so he's having a really great time driving around in the Hummer, and filling it up with premium..(no one's going to actually have to pay the bill anyway). His friends are enjoying the fact that Jake's paying no matter where they go or how much the tab is.
Both kids really want to stay behind, especially if it means that Mom & Dad WON'T be staying, but in their heart of hearts they know they too will probably end up raptured too, so they plan on having as much fun as they can while they can.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364& topic_id=1693396&mesg_id=1693396 |
Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 12206
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 8:29 am: |
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....and now you know why many fundementalist Christians support Israel. They believe the Middle East will bring on Armageddon and the Rapture.
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Factvsfiction
Citizen
Username: Factvsfiction
Post Number: 1152
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 5:03 pm: |
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Foj-
So you are concerned that the religious right in NJ is going to vote against Menendez? Is that it? You really should be paying for your posts as advertisements, as the resident democratic operative. Those religious looneys on the right are not going to control the country, but your looneys on the left are going to bring your candidates down.
Bob K-
Obviously you continue to show your great objective balance on Israel. . Oh sorry, you're a free thinker on that one |
Foj
Citizen
Username: Foger
Post Number: 1671
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 6:15 pm: |
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BobK. Don't the Jews have to convert to Christianity before they can be raptured? .....Seems thats the choice, be a true believer & get Raptured, or when Jesus comes back.... he will smight you with his terrible swift sword. |
Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 12209
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, July 23, 2006 - 5:50 am: |
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First off, I am not a conservative Christian and I don't take the Bible literally. If the "Believe-o-Matic" website can be taken seriously, my religious views are more Reform Judiasm than anything else. 
If this is something you are really worried about, Pope John Paul when presented with the question usually talked about a special relationship with the Jewish people, which is probably code for something I don't understand.
If you are really worried about this, The First Church of Christ the Believer is doing Baptisms in Memorial Park at 9:00am this morning. |
Foj
Citizen
Username: Foger
Post Number: 1674
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, July 23, 2006 - 9:07 pm: |
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