| Author |
Message |
    
sbenois
Supporter
Username: Sbenois
Post Number: 15542
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 10:39 pm: | 
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Has anyone else heard about this? If it's true, it could make a significant difference in the health and well being of the UN force.
I wonder if the goodly doctor might find some time to comment on this. |
tulip
Citizen
Username: Braveheart
Post Number: 3843
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 10:44 pm: |
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That's why we hadn't heard from him for some time. I do hope he remembered to bring his helmet and flak jacket. There probably will be lots of urological complaints at the front!!! |
Aasif
Citizen
Username: Aasif
Post Number: 1
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 10:33 am: |
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Dr Stefano was captured by Hizbollah yesterday while installing a Porta John in Tyre. I am his assistant. Please send me money so I can buy his freedom. |
J. Crohn
Supporter
Username: Jcrohn
Post Number: 2682
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 12:17 pm: |
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Aasif, could you please supply routing information for a Hizballah-controlled bank, if any are left? Failing that, the address for a suitable pile of rubble in southern Beirut would suffice.
I don't want to be troublesome, but I fear that if I send money to ransom Dr. Stefano, it will somehow get diverted to the Israelis. I have already sent money to a group of Israeli students who are buying pizzas for soldiers and kids holed up in bomb shelters. I'm sure that's sufficient. I want to make sure Dr. Stefano's cause gets my full dollar support.
But now it occurs to me... how would you feel about serving as a courier? I am thinking that perhaps Dr. Stefano could use cheesesteak.
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sbenois
Supporter
Username: Sbenois
Post Number: 15544
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 12:34 pm: |
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I tend to believe that Aasif is telling the truth. This is very distressing news.
This morning I received the following email from someone I assume is working with Aasif:
Dear American Friend,
Let me introduce myself. My name is Aasif's friend and I represent a prominent Hezbollah connected family in Lebanon. Most recently, my clients have uncovered a plot by the criminal Israeli government to loot their coffers of their amassed fortune. My clients have asked me, Aasif's friend, to find a trustworthy American friend who would help out their family in their dire time of need. You being an exemplary American citizen are the type of person we would be willing to compensate handsomely for your help in this matter.
Currently, my clients have put in an undisclosed escrow account the sum of
USD $232,000,000.00. My clients are looking for a willing partner to transfer these monies into an American bank. Once this transfer is complete and the USD$232,000,000.0 is safely in an American bank we would reward you handsomely with a sum of USD$32,000,000.00.
My clients have authorized me, Aasif's friend, to arrange this wire transfer. Please help this family in their time of need. Without your assistance, this god fearing Hezbollah connected family could be slaughtered at the hand of the corrupt Israeli government.
Please respond immediately and you will be blessed with gratitude and rewarded handsomely. I await your response. If you do not respond I, Aasif's friend, will have to find another partner in this transaction and reward them with what could be yours, USD$232,000,000.00.
And we will kill Dr. Stefano.
Yours is very truly,
Aasif's Friend |
Aasif
Citizen
Username: Aasif
Post Number: 4
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 12:39 pm: |
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This is very tragic. Dr Stefano and I were on the verge of opening a new circumcision business in Haifa called Cut and Run. |
Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 12382
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 12:42 pm: |
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ROFL!!!
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Dr. Condoleezza Rice
Citizen
Username: Crice
Post Number: 6
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 1:00 pm: |
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Hi Everyone!
I was alerted to the kidnapping of Dr. Stefano just a few hours ago by the President himself. He instructed me to communicate our resolve to do whatever is required to secure Dr. Stefano's release. At one point, while eating a ham sandwich, The President turned to me and said, in very clear terms, "they've got to stop doing this sh*t. Get over there Condi".
So this afternoon, after I buy some new boots at the Botticelli shop in Georgetown, I'll be jetting off to Lebanon to see what can be done about this situation.
For those of you who might be interested, Air Force jets do not have any travel restrictions related to mascara or body washes. So I plan on looking my absolute best when meeting with Dr. Stefano's captors!
More later!
Love,
Condi! |
Aasif
Citizen
Username: Aasif
Post Number: 5
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 1:12 pm: |
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I know we will find a way to get him released soon. I believe he is being held in the Death to America Suite at the Beirut Holiday Inn.
The bright spot today is that my journalist career is going well. Please see me here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5-4Kes8kws
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Factvsfiction
Citizen
Username: Factvsfiction
Post Number: 1401
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 2:40 pm: |
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I think they are probably going to need a proctologist more. |
Aasif
Citizen
Username: Aasif
Post Number: 6
Registered: 8-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 3:23 pm: |
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I don't understand your meaning. Perhaps you are trying to make joke, yes? ha ha ha
Dr Stefano and I are also working on a new musical with Mel Brooks, so I hope his kidnappers will read this and release him. The working title is Hizbollah, Herbollah, Yourbollah. |
Factvsfiction
Citizen
Username: Factvsfiction
Post Number: 1402
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 5:05 pm: |
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Aasif-
Isn't the "Last Comic Standing" over with? |
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