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Duncan
Real Name
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 3071
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, October 3, 2004 - 11:43 am: |     |
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his
morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first
swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are
safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their
safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
medical insurance -- now Joe gets it, too. He prepares his morning
breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some
girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total
contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what
he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks
outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because
some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries
from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his
government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in
parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought
for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the
opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes
employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want h is
employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes
unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check
because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because
of his temporary misfortune.
Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers
who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his
below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided
that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and
earned more money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his
farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought
for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the
third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home
Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The
house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck
his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn't have to. Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns
on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad
and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved
Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys
throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government
liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes
everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have." |
Nohero
Citizen
Username: Nohero
Post Number: 3900
Registered: 10-1999
| | Posted on Sunday, October 3, 2004 - 11:51 am: | |
What, 18 minutes without a "boring"?
 |
Cato Nova
Citizen
Username: Cato_nova
Post Number: 416
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, October 3, 2004 - 8:54 pm: | |
True. So why the heck is there no politician who defends liberalism/progressivism? Who defends the difference government can make?
And Nader sure aint no Debs. |
J. Crohn
Citizen
Username: Jcrohn
Post Number: 1744
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Monday, October 4, 2004 - 12:00 am: | |
Nicely ironic and very well done!
(But you didn't cite its source, Duncan.) |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 3972
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, October 4, 2004 - 12:06 am: | |
You forgot to use the term liberal moron. |
argon_smythe
Citizen
Username: Argon_smythe
Post Number: 254
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, October 4, 2004 - 11:46 am: | |
A good story, but you forgot to mention the welfare mother that Joe buys his crack from.
|
Albatross
Citizen
Username: Albatross
Post Number: 40
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Monday, October 4, 2004 - 1:21 pm: | |
Because all welfare mothers are cokeheads? |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 4001
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, October 4, 2004 - 1:23 pm: | |
I'm pretty sure Argon_smythe was being sarcastic. The first message in this thread used plenty of sarcasm. |
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