| Author |
Message |
    
Richard Steele
Citizen
Username: Brookwood
Post Number: 59
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 12:50 pm: |     |
And look no sarcastic remark to yours. |
sportsnut
Citizen
Username: Sportsnut
Post Number: 2261
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 3:44 pm: | |
I think this sums it up nicely:
"...but when are we ever so rational when it comes to our children and their safety?"
Trust me, as a parent of a hitter and biter, rationality is something that seems to have escaped many parents. Since my son has been in daycare the number of incidents I have witnessed is immeasurable, between the pushing, shoving, hiting and biting, it felt like it was never going to end. We were looking through baby pictures this past weekend and I showed my son a picture where he had a big gash on his nose - the result of another child smacking him with a block.
I have always taken the position that as long as my son didn't seriously get hurt than its no big deal. An apology is all that is necessary, there is no need to raise my voice or get angry and I expect the same from other parents. Unfortunately it rarely works out that way. If I witness the offense I will go over and say something to the offending child, more often than not if the child is as young as the one in this story I'd likely say no in a calm voice. Best case I'd let the parent know what happened as calmly as possible. I would never yell at another child, especially one that young and I would hope that no other parent would ever yell at my child. I have had people snub my apologies when my child was in the wrong and I actually had a parent tell me that she taught her child to hit back when he was hit first. In her words she was going to teach her child not to be a victim.
Richard - you did over react in this situation but since when do only children learn things once you become a parent? |
frannyfree
Citizen
Username: Frannyfree
Post Number: 136
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 3:55 pm: | |
I raised 2 children. Whenever one of them was the victim of this kind of aggression, I would reprimand the aggressor in front of my child, so that he could see how I felt about it. I would bring over the other parent and tell them what happened and then stand there and allow my child to witness the other parent reprimand the child.
If the other parent did not find fault with their child, that was when I had words with them.
If it was a friend and they did not think their kid did anyhting wrong, they were not friends any longer. My kids grew up to understand that I would protect them, but I would also scold them in public if THEY were violent.
|
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2637
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:04 pm: | |
I also have three children, ages 7, 5 and 2. Over the years, between the three of them, we have had innumberable playdates and been involved in quite a few playgroups. We have had many, many experiences where other children have hit or pushed--and sometimes even bitten--my children. And there have been times when my children (usually when they are smaller--like 2 years old) have hitten or pushed other children (thankfully they were never biters). Most of the parents I know have had at least one experience where their child has been hit or pushed, and where their child did the hitting and pushing. Some children do a lot more hitting and pushing than others, some do a lot less. I even knew one woman some years ago who's child--much to her mortification--was a biter.
So, Richard, if your children have never once hit or pushed another child then I guess you should consider yourself lucky. But that does not mean the exception proves the rule. MOST toddlers, at one time or another, will hit or push another child. You can choose to believe that or not. |
maplescorp
Citizen
Username: Maplescorp
Post Number: 99
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:11 pm: | |
I think Richard acted in a way that can be rationalized. While it's best to address kids in a firm but not shouting voice, any hitting kids (whether it's their first hit or their 10,000th) should be immediately addressed and made aware that what they did was wrong.
I probably would have done the same exact thing, because I have a bit of a temper myself and I'm fierecely protective of my kids. I wouldn't have any problem sleeping at night.
2-year-olds understand the difference between right and wrong. As such, they need to learn to act in accordance with that understanding. That learning can come the easy way or the hard way, but it absolutely must come.
There's a "boys will be boys" mentality and then there's a boy slapping a stranger kid in the face. There's a difference.
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Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2640
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:21 pm: | |
While 2-year-olds may "understand" the difference between right and wrong, they lack the impulse control to use that knowledge when it's required.
Impulse control doesn't really even come in to play until a child is about 5 or 6, and with boys it can be later.
If any of you ever thinks of screaming at my 2-year-old you can bet you'll have me to deal with. I still don't "get" how anyone thinks it's O.K. for an adult to intimidate a baby!
Could it be that most who think Richard's response was O.K. are men (who maybe never actually mastered the whole impulse control thing to begin with), and those who have a problem with it are women?
I wonder, if the tables were turned and someone screamed at Richard's 2-year-old, what his reaction might be. Something tells me he wouldn't like it one little bit. And might even post here on MOL about what a horrible human being the adult who yelled at his baby was. |
joeltfk
Citizen
Username: Joeltfk
Post Number: 352
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:30 pm: | |
I'll grant that 2-year-olds lack impulse control. So do U.S. Presidents. But I think being called on bad behavior is way to reinforce proper impulse control. No one's saying the hitter wasn't being developmentally inappropriate. Just socially inappropriate.
If my children hit another child, I would be ambrarrased. If a parent called that to my or his attention, I wouldn't be angry; I'd be doubly embarrassed.
If a stranger parent yelled at my child, I'd suggest he calm down, then concentrate on my child's next move: an apology. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2215
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:38 pm: | |
You could be right, Meand. I guess I took his use of the word "yell" as an exaggeration. I think I would have said, firmly, "No hitting" followed up by "She had the car first. Please leave her alone." Worst case, I would've removed my kid from the situation, which is pretty unfair as she'd not been the one who soured it.
Biggest things I recall were ballroom/tunnel incidents (with bigger kids) and kids who hogged things like that car forever. Usually, no handy parents. One and awhile I intervened and asked whether my kid could have a turn. A real problem, sounds like, was that the pushy kid's parent or caregiver wasn't handy enough or quick enough to intervene.
I'd be the first to admit that after awhile, there are few things more tedious than watching and waiting endlessly in play areas, but seems part of the job (as opposed to shopping in the store just across the way, or distractedly chatting with friends/family). |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2643
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:40 pm: | |
I'm not saying the hitter should NOT have been called on his behavior. I'm saying Richard's reaction "I was outraged and I yelled" was inappropriate--all the way around:
1. As a way to show his daughter how to calmly and rationally handle conflict.
2. As a demonstration of how adults react appropriately in that kind of situation.
3. As a reaction to age-appropriate behavior on the part of a 2-year-old child.
4. As a way adults should behave towards small children who misbehave.
Richard could have made it clear to his daughter and to the other child that hitting is inappropriate without yelling and screaming and basically intimidating the other child and his mother. And I like to believe in the basic decency of the majority of the general population, and I like to believe that, given the opportunity, the other parent would have reprimanded her own child in her own way, as well as demanding her child apologize for hitting. |
joeltfk
Citizen
Username: Joeltfk
Post Number: 353
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:51 pm: | |
I agree Meand. I think part of my instinctual defense is my sense that I would have had the same reaction. Also, there seems to be some tone here that the incident should be basically ignored as a rite of passage for kids. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2217
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:52 pm: | |
Meand, what would you do if the other kid's parent blew it off as no big deal, or didn't turn up? I've certainly experienced that, the whole "let the kids work it out" laissez-faire thing. Some parents do use those play spaces as babysitters while they yak, or worse yet, shop nearby. |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2644
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:05 pm: | |
If I were the only parent on-scene, I would strongly reprimand the child that hit my child. I would say "Oh no, there's no hitting, hitting is NOT O.K." I would have had a very serious look on my face, and my tone would have been stern and serious. I would have told my child how sorry I was that she had been hit, and I would have removed her to another part of the playground, away from the child that hit her.
If the parent's are ignoring the child to the extent that they don't even notice the incident, I would waste my breath yelling at them about it, because they are obviously too clueless to begin with. |
Gordon Agress
Citizen
Username: Odd
Post Number: 323
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:07 pm: | |
Someone please point to the post where anyone said that Richard's reaction was desirable. I have seen several posts saying that it was understandable, but none saying "good job". The guy is looking for help thinking about how to better handle the situation, not talk about great it went. No, it isn't right to blow up at other people's two year olds, but the very fact of Richard's posting seems like an admission of that, so what's the point of rubbing it in?
And I have to say that a slap by a two-year old, as opposed to a push, would have startled me. Do most kids that age have that much coordination? Mine had trouble with high-five at that age. The boy hitting girl thing is also a button pusher, at least for some. We all do weird things when we are surprised, so maybe that's part of what happened here.
It sounds like R. was more irritated with the parent than with the kid for not being there immediately and for being derelict on "don't hit" (again, that it was a slap seems weird), but took it out on the kid. Obviously, that isn't the most effective strategy, and that kind of irritation overlooks that we all lose track momentarily sometimes and the "don't hit" lectures take longer for some than for others.
I hope I would have 1) calmed down my little girl 2) looked around for this kid's parent 3) given the little boy the stern "you don't do that sort of thing" look and 4) made sure he didn't get the truck in question or he'll calculate that this sort of thing works. My attitude towards the parent would have been frosty or understanding depending on how profuse the apology was. But if I was momentarily startled by that slap, I too might have reacted less well than that.
|
wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 1963
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:30 pm: | |
All good, sane comments, particularly meand (no name calling there, my dear). My first thought after reading the initial post was what would Richard have done if he had a boy not a girl. Would he have said "don't hit boys" or would he have reacted differently? That struck me almost as much as the yelling as opposed to a stern reprimand.
I'm the first to sternly tell any kid in my purview not to do something, I just have a problem with the gender labeling, as if that is a factor in the reaction/action. |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2645
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:51 pm: | |
Oh, and I should probably also note that I have encountered these kinds of situations numerous times and have reacted the way I described above. So, basically, I practice what I preach.
I try to always keep in mind that my one and only concern is myself and my child. How another person raises their children is really none of my business. |
Carrie Avery
Citizen
Username: Carrie33
Post Number: 1279
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 7:06 pm: | |
The last line of Richards statement:
"She took her son and left.She could have said sorry, but if she did I was to angry to even hear her.I was too angry to let her stay and play.How would you handle that situation?"
I asked my husband what he might have done if he was in this situation. My husband said he might have reacted in a way less angrily. Although, as mentioned:
'To each his own'
I think that a women's reaction will always be a bit more protective, and I do commend Richard for his protective nature for his daughter. If my son hit a girl, I would be angry with my son.
If the parent was angry with me, I would have reacted differantly,( I would have apologized to the other parent, and let them 'hear me' but would have disciplined my son.
If my daughter hit a another girl, it might be differant, but not so much so that I would not show discipline to her, as well.
Yes, in each situation, with a differant sex, as mentioned, a child ( male or female) and parent ( male or female) siuation might go differantly. The bottom line is Richard, I believe, only asked what we might have done in his shoes. I stick to my thought in relation to having my two year old being slapped by a boy.
If it were my son being slapped, I am certain, if my husband was there he would cheer him on to fight back. Gender differances are realistically relavant. "Women are from Venus, Men from Mars"
But then again, some men have what it takes to show more sensitivity like some women do. I still commend Richard., two year old or not. |
GOP Man
Citizen
Username: Headsup
Post Number: 258
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 9:02 pm: | |
I commend Richard also. A real man would yell at a toddler and a woman and not think twice about it. Only a wimp would have let them get away with what they did. |
Gordon Agress
Citizen
Username: Odd
Post Number: 324
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 10:19 pm: | |
Alas, he is thinking twice about it, and probably not satisfied with his respone, or why would he be posting here?
I guess parody is a lot easier when you can invent straw men to mock.
|
ffof
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 4357
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 9:35 am: | |
the reaction described in the first post is just completely innapropriate for 2 year olds. Also, I can't imagine that the gender thing even meant anything to a 2-3 year old.
I'm sure I would have been furious too, but kids learn form adults, so basically the scene was bad for all involved. The "stern" reaction as described my meand would be the best reaction.
Not much harm done though. THe kid's only 2. Many more life experiences ahead. |
GOP Man
Citizen
Username: Headsup
Post Number: 259
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 9:50 am: | |
you're right Gordon. Richard has obviously had second thoughts, so maybe my response shouldn't be directed to him. Instead, let me say that I support all of the others who have come forward to say they commend Richard's actions. It may not be PC to hold that opinion, but what's right is right. |
Cleve Dark
Citizen
Username: Clevedark
Post Number: 260
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 10:10 am: | |
I was really surprised, too, by how many people supported Richard's actions. Yelling at strangers like that in a mall is a tricky business, and he's lucky she didn't call a security guard or worse. |
Richard Steele
Citizen
Username: Brookwood
Post Number: 60
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 10:53 am: | |
Now please tell me what a security guard is going to do because I raised my voice Cleve.I yelled at her to teach her child not to hit little girls.And I walked away wiping my little girls tears.I wasn't looking for a shouting match.As a matter of fact a security guard was there.Woodbridge mall to be exact.I do wish I could have reacted camlmer at that particular time.It just didn't turn out that way.And do trust me I would yelled if the father was there instead of the mother.for those who may wonder. |
Mr. Big Poppa
Citizen
Username: Big_poppa
Post Number: 486
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 11:01 am: | |
you should have slapped the mother. |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2630
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 11:44 am: | |
Well now the kid has learned that hitting is ok as long you don't hit little girls. Pushing and shoving is fine because no one yells at you when you do that. Not sharing equipment in a public place is ok too. Finally, yelling is a great way to express your anger, especially yelling at people who are easily intimidated like small children you don't know or their embarressed moms.
The kid was wrong for pushing and hitting. Your kid was wrong for not sharing. The parent was wrong for not being on top of the situation and making the child wait his turn. You were wrong for overreacting.
Most of us have children who have behaved inappropriately. Most of us have behaved inappropriately around our children. Hopefully each time this kind of thing happens all of the parents and the children learn how to behave better next time. |
Cleve Dark
Citizen
Username: Clevedark
Post Number: 261
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 11:47 am: | |
I don't know, Richard, the situation stunk for everyone involved, and I still think you're should look on the bright side because it didn't escalate into something worse. Not because you're such a bad person for doing what you did (I'm no angel, believe me), but because you never know how the other person will react. In your case, the mother sounded very sensible, because she took of without saying a word.
|
Richard Steele
Citizen
Username: Brookwood
Post Number: 61
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 1:48 pm: | |
Yes cleve, your right the situation did stink.I'm quite sure i'll be able to deal differently if that situation ever comes up again.Actually I sure hope I do.I just love the prescious.don't like when my baby is hurting.But I will try. |
Rastro
Citizen
Username: Rastro
Post Number: 2217
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 4:16 pm: | |
Wendyn,
You had me until you said "Your kid was wrong for not sharing." Two things... First there is no indication that the other kid wanted to share. Richard said the other kid jumped in a squeezed his daughter into a corner, and that she was trying to get herself out from been squeezed in.
Second, it is not up to her to share when someone just jumps into her car. The other parent should have stopped her son from jumping into a car that had someone in it. It's not about sharing. When someone comes over to your child and pulls a toy out of their hand, do you admonish your child for not sharing?
I am not defending Richard's actions. But from what we've been told, his daughter did nothing wrong here. |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2635
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 4:40 pm: | |
Whatever. We weren't there. We have no idea how long she was in the car, how long the boy stood there wanting to get in, how long he pushed her before he hit her. Maybe she was waiting for the other kid to say "may I please play with the car?" and maybe the other kid can't say that because, well, he is 2.
I'm not saying his kid did anything wrong, or the other kid was right. What I am saying is that kids have different kinds of bad behavior as do adults. And when it comes down to it I think the boy in this situation behaved more appropriately for his age than Richard did. |
Rastro
Citizen
Username: Rastro
Post Number: 2219
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 4:59 pm: | |
Now I'm just picking nits (and I do agree with what you're saying overall), but you did say his daughter was wrong not to share. |
Cleve Dark
Citizen
Username: Clevedark
Post Number: 263
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 9:11 pm: | |
I remember when I had play dates when my kids were this young, the other mother and I would get into these absurd situations about sharing and taking turns. Kid #1 wanted something kid #2 was playing with. Mother #1 would insist that kid #1 should "wait their turn" while Mother #2 would desperately want child #2 to "share the toy." It would be a fight to the finish, with each mother wanting their little one to learn an important lesson.
Looking back, it was all very silly. Whoever cried the loudest got their way, every time, at 2 years old. |
John Caffrey
Citizen
Username: Jerseyjack
Post Number: 13
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 10:14 pm: | |
Kinda interesting that last week P.B.S. did a series about boys. Obviously aggression was a sub-topic. They filmed a segment in a Japanese day care where kids were taped hitting one another. (Mostly it was girls hitting boys but not to the point.)
The point was that the caregivers did not intervene to stop the hitting. Rather, it was corrected by the kids themselves. Mostly, the kids withdrew and forgot about it.
Maybe we are putting too much attention on solving our kids problems for them. |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2637
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 8:21 am: | |
Ok Rastro I will try to be more clear.
We weren't there. We have no idea how long she was in the car, how long the boy stood there wanting to get in, how long he pushed her before he hit her. Maybe she was waiting for the other kid to say "may I please play with the car?" and maybe the other kid can't say that because, well, he is 2.
If the girl was playing in the car for a while and wouldn't give it up, I think she was wrong not to share. But we can't know that because we weren't there and Richard has only one point of view.
I am one of the moms like Cleve mentioned who will make their kids get off the toy if someone else wants to use it. Even if they have only been on it for a minute. Because at 2 learning to share is a behavior kids need to learn just like learning not to hit. Because both hitting and not sharing are ways of trying to get what you want at the expense of others, and both are wrong.
I have pretty non-aggressive kids, so teaching them not to hit has never been a big deal for me, because they don't really hit other kids (except each other!). But teaching them to share has been a big deal, especially for my oldest, Miss MineMineMine. If my kid was in this type of situation I would have said "It wasn't nice of that boy to hit you, but you know he wanted to play in the car. Next time get out of the car and you won't get hit."
But I tend to be a "shake it off" kind of person, as opposed to a "my precious baby" kind of person. |
ffof
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 4365
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 8:51 am: | |
I think we ought to take this out to the playground. |
GOP Man
Citizen
Username: Headsup
Post Number: 261
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 8:53 am: | |
the world would be a much better place if we dealt harshly with the evildoers, even if they're only toddlers. only a typical Maplewood latte-sipper would be so laissez-faire with their two-year olds. |
Garcia
Citizen
Username: Photojournalist
Post Number: 17
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 9:04 am: | |
what richard taught his daughter was how to play the victim and not stand up for herself. what happens next time, and there will be a next time, when a kid gets physical and daddy isn't there to berate a two year old boy in her defense?? did you make the boy cry by yelling, richard? |
Richard Steele
Citizen
Username: Brookwood
Post Number: 62
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:05 pm: | |
No garcia. You sound real stupid to me right now.I didn't make the boy cry.And Wendy it had nothing to do with sharing. The car was big enough for three kids to fit and she finally got to use the stearing wheel after two kids jumped out of it.So sharing was definately not the issue.And if choose to not be the my "prescious baby" type of person,well to bad for your kids cause I love mine like I love air. |
Garcia
Citizen
Username: Photojournalist
Post Number: 18
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:18 pm: | |
richard is saying he loves his kids more than you. he will defend them at all costs against life's greatest challenges, including two year old boys.
wendyn has it right, there are two types of parents, and i like your terms for them. my brother once saw my two-year-old daughter fall down hard, and couldn't believe when she got right up, dusted herself, and kept going without missing a beat. it's because he would have made a big deal out of the fall with his daughter even before he had a chance to see if any real damage was done or if she was okay. his daughter, needless to say, is a bit on the whiney, wimpy, woe-is-me side now... |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 3817
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:32 pm: | |
This is out of control.
NO ONE likes to see their children being bullied. Richard acted impulsively, out of anger and frustration. Maybe next time he will take a deep breath and speak sternly instead of yelling.
Let's give the guy a break and stop overanalyzing this.
|
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2639
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:32 pm: | |
You are right Richard. I hate my kids because I want them to be able to stand up to bullys.
My kid would have a lot of problems if she couldn't deal with being hit. She is a tiny 25lb 5 year old in a class full of 50lb rambuntious boys at least a foot taller than her. She probably gets hit once a week. I've taught her to stop running to the teacher when it happens and just say something like "you are playing too rough" or "I'm not going to play with you if you hit me".
And maybe it had nothing to do with sharing. My point is every kid (and adult) has different challenges in their behavior. Just because yours is not aggressive does not mean that other kids (or their parents) are bad because they have more aggressive tendancies. Especially at an age where verbal communication is extremely limited.
Next time give the kid and the parent a break. |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 3818
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:43 pm: | |
Garcia, (not to focus on you, I just read it because you just posted before me) there are not just two types of parents. If my kids fall, they do dust themselves off and get up. Depending on the type of fall, I may or may not make a big deal out of it.
Allowing your child to be bullied is not ok. At 2, I don't think it's wrong for a parent to step in. If we don't protect our own children who will? Again, yelling might not have been the best solution, but Richard is teaching his daughter she is valuable and should not be bullied. It's very important, especially for girls, to be able to stand up for themselves. An option may have been for Richard to say "Sally, tell that boy hitting is wrong. We do NOT hit." In a way, explaining it to his own child AND the other child without directly yelling at the other kid. Passive aggressive, maybe, but I would never stand by and watch my child get slapped and not say anything. (Nor would I allow my children to hit other kids and not tell them hitting is nt acceptable.) |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2640
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:50 pm: | |
VIG, you are right I should never have posted.
Unfortunately one of my pet peeves is people who post a question ("did I overreact?") and when people answer in a way they don't like ("yes") get defensive.
If you think you were right in the way you acted don't ask the question. Otherwise take the advice that is offered.
Over and out. |
Garcia
Citizen
Username: Photojournalist
Post Number: 19
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:52 pm: | |
virtual it girl, clearly if the child is hurt, a bigger deal should be made. didn't sound like richard's kid was hurt. crying, but not hurt. i question the judgement of "teaching" a two year old boy not to hit girls by yelling, in what seems to be in an over-the-top manner, at someone else's two year old. they are two!
there's protective, there's overprotective, and then there is clinical. richard is walking a fine line. |
Richard Steele
Citizen
Username: Brookwood
Post Number: 64
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 4:03 pm: | |
Wendy you"re lost aren't you.Its not the fact that people or you said I overreacted..I'm defensive because you went from overreacting to turning the story into sharing problems and and my child being prescious.Your a funny lady.Real funny!I can easily accept the overreactiing thing.But If someone asks for an opinion it's there choice to either accept it or desregard it.So yes you are OVER and Definately OUT! |
Richard Steele
Citizen
Username: Brookwood
Post Number: 66
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 4:05 pm: | |
Further more I Asked what would You do.I didn't ask whether I was right or wrong. |
crabby
Citizen
Username: Crabbyappleton
Post Number: 427
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 4:15 pm: | |
Richard, sounds like you are (cyber-)hitting Wendy and I don't think it is right to hit women. Take a chill pill. |
algebra2
Supporter
Username: Algebra2
Post Number: 3945
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 4:29 pm: | |
Good grief Richard!
You are trying to justify the fact that you yelled at someone's TWO YEAR OLD? Not only did you yell at the child THEN you yelled at the mom? And THIS "really ruined your day"?
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Richard Steele
Citizen
Username: Brookwood
Post Number: 67
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 6:09 pm: | |
You are so right crabby.I'm so sorry wendy.Al I'm not looking for justification.I just asked a question. |
Deidra
Citizen
Username: Deidralynn
Post Number: 470
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 11:00 am: | |
Look, we are all in this "parenting" game together. It's tough...especially with youngsters. Richard, the best advice I can give you is to take pause before you react(if this ever happens again). The child and DEFINITELY the mother of the little boy certainly did not deserve the yelling.
You don't want to know how I (personally) would react to you or any parent yelling at me - for something my 2 year old did. Believe me, I would not just grab my child and run away! OH NOOOOOOOOO!
The goal is to CALM the situation down...not elevate it with excitement. From the fact that you asked the question shows me that you don't go around yelling at people. A parent's protection of their child takes some out of their boundaries sometimes but you took a step to dialoque about it, and for that...I applaud you. Better luck next time. |
Deidra
Citizen
Username: Deidralynn
Post Number: 471
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 11:07 am: | |
...and Richard, don't get me wrong...I wouldn't start a shouting match, but that yelling would not be the last word. |
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