| Author |
Message |
    
Joe
Citizen
Username: Gonets
Post Number: 1119
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 9:51 am: |     |
This is a public service announcement..
If it’s more windy than rainy, put down the umbrella.
If you’re careening left and right, stopping and starting, in order to accommodate this handheld sail, put down the umbrella.
If this infernal contraption turns inside out, don’t stand there in the driving rain trying to fix it. It was beyond repair the day you got it. Throw it in the nearest garbage can--where it belongs. It's no coincidence that most umbrella stands look like waste cans.
After throwing it out, don’t buy a new one! Take the money you’d spend on one of those fancy umbrellas with the vents and buy a good water repellant hat, and spend 5 bucks on a rain slicker. You’ll stay dryer and have a much easier time walking down the street, since not only will you be in complete control of your movements, you’ll also be able to see where you are going.
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C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 2406
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 10:39 am: | |
Joe is pretty much right, imo. Over the summer I found a wonderful raincoat with hood at an LL Bean outlet and I have to say, although I still carry it, I rarely open my umbrella anymore. And it is a real pleasure to walk without trying to steer the sail! |
Charles De Mar
Citizen
Username: Charles_demar
Post Number: 172
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:15 am: | |
Thanks Mr. G!
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Pippi
Supporter
Username: Pippi
Post Number: 1658
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:52 am: | |
I never carry an umbrella. Too much of a nuisance
I much prefer hats or hoods |
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 4820
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 11:58 am: | |
I love sitting on a rainy day and windy, looking out at people with umbrellas....what a laugh they can be! |
Dave
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 8438
Registered: 4-1997
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 12:18 pm: | |
http://www.umbrellatime.com/fiberbuilt-umbrellas/construction.html |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 3816
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:15 pm: | |
Whew, I thought I was the only one!
What I love most is walking the kids to school in the pouring rain, we in our hoods and caps, and all the kids and parents with their umbrellas, poking us , taking up the entire sidewalk so we have to walk in the puddles.
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Joe
Citizen
Username: Gonets
Post Number: 1121
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:27 pm: | |
The thing is that umbrellas are only useful in light rain with very little wind. Under such conditions you’ll keep your head and most of your torso dry. Heavier rain with the wind picking up and the best case scenario is that your head and the top half of your torso will stay dry. I don’t know how these things ever took off. The best use I could think of for these things is a pretext to snuggle. That would have served me well in my single, and bashful, days. |
Parkbench87
Citizen
Username: Parkbench87
Post Number: 3330
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:39 pm: | |
Joe,
The Hollies (Graham Gouldman) had that exact same idea.
______________________________________________
BUS STOP
Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say, "Please share my umbrella"
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows under my umbrella
All that summer we enjoyed it, wind and rain and shine.
That umbrella we employed it. By August, she was mine
Every morning I would see her waitin' at the stop
Sometimes she'd shop and she would show me what she'd bought
All the people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are goin' to be the same
That's the way the whole thing started. Silly, but it's true
Thinkin' of a sweet romance beginnin' in a queue
Came the sun the ice was meltin' no more shelterin' now
Nice to think that that umbrella led me to a vow
Every morning I would see her waitin' at the stop
Sometimes she'd shop and she would show me what she'd bought
All the people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same
Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say, "Please share my umbrella"
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows under my umbrella
All that summer we enjoyed it, wind and rain and shine
That umbrella we employed it. By August, she was mine
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Joe
Citizen
Username: Gonets
Post Number: 1122
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:43 pm: | |
Actually that's where I got the idea. A little too late though. I should have paid attention to the lyrics when I was younger.
That's really a great, romantic song. |
Ligeti
Citizen
Username: Ligeti
Post Number: 551
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 5:32 pm: | |
I was double-dogged several times today by clueless oafs yapping into their hideous cellphones while also thrusting XXL umbrellas at everyone. One of them almost got run over by a bus -- while yakking, they wandered into the middle of 8th avenue without realizing it. Wonder what was so important to yap about on their cellphones: Pizza toppings? Nail salon appointments? Sex positions?
Reject cellphones in 2006. Weapons of Mass Distraction. |
bets
Supporter
Username: Bets
Post Number: 22658
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 8:15 pm: | |
The high-tech umbrella was certainly my enemy today. Plans to drop off the car for service and catch a ride a few blocks away (to minimize inconvenience on the picker-upper) were dashed when I was too early. Luckily, as I was huddling in a doorway on Main St. in Chatham, completely drenched and miserable, I saw another co-worker's vehicle, and a simple cell-phone call away and I was drying my shoes by the space-heater within minutes.
Celebrate cell phones in 2006! |
Ligeti
Citizen
Username: Ligeti
Post Number: 552
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 9:22 pm: | |
Reject needless yapping in 2006. |
bets
Supporter
Username: Bets
Post Number: 22664
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 9:45 pm: | |
Consider it rejected.
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Case
Citizen
Username: Case
Post Number: 1025
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 10:30 pm: | |
Ouch! I'm not sure but I think that was a shot!!!
Heh heh heh heh heh heh.... |
Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 10321
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 4:53 am: | |
GoreTex rules
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Ligeti
Citizen
Username: Ligeti
Post Number: 555
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 11:08 am: | |
174 pounds of Ligeti man meat is waiting to crush all of you except Rastro. |
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