| Author | Message | ||
     thegoodsgt Citizen Username: Thegoodsgt Post Number: 924 Registered: 2-2002  |
Hi there. It's me, the guy that was in the stall next to you in the bathroom just now. I noticed that you didn't bother to wash your hands after you had a bowel movement. I just want you to know that, although your nasty habit would offend some people, I don't mind. Really, I don't. It doesn't bother me that you're now tracking traces of urine and fecal matter all over our office and throughout the building. After all, literally everything we touch is already dirty. What's a few more bits of pee and poop here and there? So what if I'm touching the same things as you and then rubbing my eyes, touching my face, eating a donut. That's why we have immune systems, right? So I just want you to feel free to continue your habit. You're probably too busy to deal with matters of personal hygiene. Hell, you're an American! You're free to do whatever you want without regard to the effects on those around you. Don't worry about me and everyone else you come into contact with. We'll take care of ourselves. You take care of Number One (and Number Two, as nature dictates). Have a nice day. | ||
| Oldstone Citizen Username: Rogers4317 Post Number: 559 Registered: 6-2004  |
TMI | ||
| catmanjac Citizen Username: Catmanjac Post Number: 28 Registered: 2-2004  |
sh.t | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 4943 Registered: 2-2003  |
Okay that so must be my ex co-worker... | ||
| catmanjac Citizen Username: Catmanjac Post Number: 30 Registered: 2-2004 |
No, just someone reading your post. I always wash, and think about those who don't in restaurants, especially when handling the menu. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1025 Registered: 10-2003 |
Men can be such P-I-G pigs. | ||
| catmanjac Citizen Username: Catmanjac Post Number: 33 Registered: 2-2004 |
I'm not a man... I'm a cat. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1026 Registered: 10-2003 |
Cats are dignified. Men can be pigs. | ||
| catmanjac Citizen Username: Catmanjac Post Number: 34 Registered: 2-2004 |
Thank you. | ||
| Ligeti Citizen Username: Ligeti Post Number: 590 Registered: 7-2002  |
Pigs are intelligent creatures. Superior to dolphins, horses, dogs and cats. Aside from wallowing in mud (to cool off), they are -- biologically speaking -- extremely clean, too. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 8720 Registered: 4-1997  |
Clean? Pigs eat anything including their own crap. | ||
| Mr. Big Poppa Citizen Username: Big_poppa Post Number: 498 Registered: 7-2004  |
Pigs got personality. Personality goes a long way. | ||
| Matt Foley Citizen Username: Mattfoley Post Number: 546 Registered: 6-2004  |
OINK | ||
| sbenois Supporter Username: Sbenois Post Number: 14631 Registered: 10-2001  |
Ahma goonah makah youah nicea pizza jerry  | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1029 Registered: 10-2003 |
Ligeti, I occasionally wallow in a mud wrap to cool myself off as well. I meant no offense. | ||
| Maplewoody Citizen Username: Maplewoody Post Number: 1140 Registered: 5-2001  |
Men are pigs? I constantly hear from the women at my job who are the women that don't wash, and even one woman earned a nickname the "Mad Sh+*ter" because of her loud bathroom deployments! If she only knew what her nickname is, she'd die! | ||
| sbenois Supporter Username: Sbenois Post Number: 14632 Registered: 10-2001 |
Used to work with a guy who would go to the men's room, lean over the sink and eject nostril missiles at roughly 83 miles per hour. It was delightful to watch. Especially before lunch. Snot missile comander at the ready sir. Then there was Sal. Sal was a bathroom marvel. Sal would go into the stall and within minutes there would be loud, uninterrupted machine gun blasts for minutes on end. And I mean loud. Followed by relief moans. One time, this scene dragged on to the point where a fellow co-worker yelled out "courtesy flush please". Undaunted, Sal's travails extended to the return to desk journey when we noticed that he had managed to loop the inside of his back pocket over his belt for all to see. Oh Sal. I miss ya. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1030 Registered: 10-2003 |
See my post of 3:38, above. | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 1152 Registered: 11-2001 |
Poppy is sloppy! So is Sal. | ||
| Ace789nj Citizen Username: Ace789nj Post Number: 276 Registered: 2-2005  |
What's that? Look, in the sky It's a bird, It's a plane, It's the MAAAAADDD SSHHITERRRRR!!!! (with her trusty sidekick, poopsie)  | ||
| Bob K Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 10773 Registered: 5-2001 |
Someone posted a cartoon (in another thread) of a guy rushing back to what appeared to be a trading desk and declaring "I didn't have time to wipe".  Years ago my department shared a floor with a law firm. None of the stressed out lawyers even bothered to flush, let alone wash their hands. Luckily they went out of business and, literally, disappeared over a weekend. On Friday they were there, on Monday their offices were cleaned out and the name plate had been removed from the door. We had a party. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2165 Registered: 7-2003 |
We have the opposite here. There is a guy who goes to the Bathroom and literally spends 20 minutes washing his hand, the counter, washes his face, the urinal flusher. Sometime I wash my hands for 3 times as long just to keep up with his cleanliness. | ||
| Rastro Citizen Username: Rastro Post Number: 2371 Registered: 5-2004  |
OCD is a fascinating thing to see in action. | ||
| Spitz Supporter Username: Doublea Post Number: 1435 Registered: 3-2003 |
Howard Hughes had it right. | ||
| Paul Sarrubbo Citizen Username: Psarrubbo Post Number: 9 Registered: 2-2006 |
Hey Maplewoody- } GREAT NAME...and love the rainbow...very understated...new "family" members here in S.O...and just wanted to say "hey" | ||
| Winniegirl Citizen Username: Winniegirl Post Number: 20 Registered: 7-2005 |
I used to work in the library of a consulting firm and the men's room was about 5 feet away. I used to always find it disgusting that the men would walk through the library on the way to the bathroom and take the newspaper in to read in the bathroom and then bring it back into the library. um, gross. | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 4953 Registered: 2-2003 |
Seinfeld episode.... | ||
| The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1505 Registered: 11-2004  |
I don't begrudge anyone their BMs. Loud, quiet, wet, smelly, beans, beers, whatever. But, fer Chrissake, wash yer hands, if only to put your fellow man at ease. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 12626 Registered: 1-2003  |
Yeah, you reach a certain age, and relief moans become, well, certain. If we can't do disgusting things in the restroom, where can we do them? If you don't like reminders that we all perform these functions, find yourself a single-user restroom. But yeah, wash your hands. I'm very susceptible to strep. | ||
| The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1507 Registered: 11-2004 |
... and me to Hep. | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 1200 Registered: 10-2004 |
Did anyone understand Paul's Sarrubbo's post above? What was that about? | ||
| Scrotis Lo Knows Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 853 Registered: 10-2005 |
I think it may be gay code  | ||
| monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 2204 Registered: 7-2002  |
i would know that | ||
| hch Citizen Username: Hch Post Number: 208 Registered: 8-2002 |
Was in the bathroom at work the other day. Heard someone talking and realized there was a man on his cell phone in the stall. Then heard him fart loudly while telling his customer a price. Very classy. | ||
| catmanjac Citizen Username: Catmanjac Post Number: 50 Registered: 2-2004 |
Where better than the john? Here I sit all broken hearted I came to sh;t bit only farted | ||
| Korben Dallas Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1517 Registered: 11-2004 |
From the GET NAKED column in Time Out New York by Jamie Bufalino: QUESTION: As a man, I am consistently bewildered as to why guys are so averse to flushing the urinal after using it. Now, I'm no bathroom Nazi, but I have observed this behavior on multiple occasions at my workplace. Our office manager has even gone so far as to post hand-drawn signs of depressed urinal handles replete with red ink imploring offenders to please flush after use to little or no avail. And if you think this behavior might abate in the presence of others, think again. On many occasions, I have been tempted to say, "I think you forgot something." When I find myself in these situations, I am torn between flushing a co-worker's wee or leaving it for the next unsuspecting office drone with a full bladder. The only flimsy theory I can produce is some variant of the territorial marking that dogs exhibit when talking a walk— but why anyone would want to claim a urinal in a dreary office is beyond me. ANSWER: Pardon the hushed voice, but I am currently sequestered in the bathroom stall of a major New York–based corporation. I am lying in a dense thicket of tile, porcelain and two-ply-tissue scraps in an effort to get a look up close at the famed urine-flaunting subspecies of the male human animal. Shhh. Here's one now. From my vantage point, I can see his wing-tip hooves as they approach the urinal. The lack of a zipping sound tells me that this specimen is a member of the button-fly phylum. Let's listen in as the urination process begins. Very interesting. While some male Homo sapiens prefer to deposit their urine in a subtle, soundless manner by, say, banking the stream off various groin-level porcelain targets, this specimen prefers to advertise his waste-voiding by directing his geyser directly into the pool of water collected at the base of the contraption, creating a loud, splashy Trevi Fountain-ish cacophony. The faint sounds of a few stray droplets being manually nudged off their urethral perch indicate the bladder is nearing empty. And now: complete silence. No roaring gush of plumbing, no squishy dispensing of liquid soap, just—if you listen closely—the sound of rubber soles on tile and the slight squeak of a door hinge in need of a dollop of oil. After conducting a series of these observational safaris, I've come to the conclusion that nonflushing males are not trying to mark their territory, nor are they suffering from a rare form of posturination arm paralysis. Basically, they are engaging in the age-old male ritual of being lazy, self-centered bastards, who see the flusher-yanking process as a colossal waste of their bond-trading, deal-making, glass-ceiling-creating, cigar-smoking energies. They go about their solipsistic lives just waiting for the more thoughtful members of their species to literally clean up their messes. Unfortunately, there's not much one can do to help these specimens evolve into more-productive members of their community, which is why we must turn to technology—specifically those electronic motion-detecting flushing devices—to make this social nuisance extinct. | ||
| Tinkrock Supporter Username: Tinkrock Post Number: 113 Registered: 3-2004  |
I bet those guys consider the flush handle all germy, so they don't flush in order to avoid having to wash their hands!  | ||
| Korben Dallas Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1518 Registered: 11-2004 |
I think you're probably right, Tinky - although just because you don't flush doesn't mean you don't need to wash your hands. You've touched your dick, for G-d's sake, and the doorknob and Lord knows what else! Plus everything with which you've come into contact before your trip to the crapper, like your boss who has the flu and your officemate that didn't wash HIS hands. I once worked for a medical/pharmaceutical publishing company and our chief publisher was a DOCTOR, a MEDICAL DOCTOR. I noticed him not wash his hands after taking a dump. Man, was I grossed out. A DOCTOR!! I was outraged but I kept it to myself. | ||
| monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 2235 Registered: 7-2002 |
I just piss in the sink, and then wash my hands | ||
| catmanjac Citizen Username: Catmanjac Post Number: 52 Registered: 2-2004 |
monster-- that reminds me of back in elementary school-- the boys would piss on the hot radiator, and it would stink something awful. Of course, back then, we had a large community urinal, not individual ones. Remember the old movie theatres with the long, floor models? |
