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Message |
    
sbenois
Supporter
Username: Sbenois
Post Number: 14681
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, March 9, 2006 - 10:25 pm: | 
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#1105 james park,
johannesburg,
southafrica.
Compliments Of The Day,
Yes, Benard, it's a fine day
Permit me to introduce myself to you.
I guess I don't have a choice
My name is Dr Benard Mcarthy,A
Top Management Official of one of the finance corporation in johannesburg south Africa.I came to know about you in my private search for a reliable person/company to handle an important assingment on behalf of my Colleagues and myself.As a matter of fact, I got your information from Miss
Natasha Johnson of The International Affairs Department Of The South African Chamber Of Business.
Not a surprise. Natasha worked for us in Sbenois Vegetable and Fruit Control where she was in charge of tomato sniffing. Natasha could tell the difference between a burpee big boy and cherry tomato while blindfolded. And with no hands. She was a wonder. She left the firm unexpectedly, with a large sum of money
Proposition A German Mr. Wolfgang Schinister, 66 years of
age and a prosperous oil/Diamond merchant had in our Bank
the sum of $35.5million in a domiciliary account.
well, well, well, the return of Schinister. That no good bastard. He's evil.
Unfortunately, he was killed in 2002 plane crash involving
concord AF4590 in Gonesse, France.
Good, he was a rat bastard
Efforts has been made by
the management of my bank through the German Embassy in
johannesburg to contact any of the deceased children but to
no avail,as we are made to understand he had no
children.
Sure he did. I'll bet Dr. Stefano can tell you where they are.
Given the skeletal information available to the
bank, it has so far been impossible to reach any of the relatives.
You can't find his children using skeletal information because everyone knows that Schinister was a spineless dimwit
The situation left for the Management is to declare the deceased account dormant and revert the Amount to trading on behalf of the interest of the Bank.
Not a surprise, Schinister didn't take the advice of Sbenois Will & Mortuary Services. Tough luck for his kids. Hmmmm, I wonder if Dr. Stefano ever got Schinister to secretly sign a will
In order to avoid this development, my Colleagues and I now seek your approval to have you stand as a distant relative to Mr.Wolfgang Schinister,so that the money would be released to you.
Will I have to wear a disguise? Like a Groucho moustache?
All documents and proofs to enable you get
the money will be carefully packaged once we receive your consent on this proposal.
Are you gonna use that bubble wrap or the peanuts?
I shall Apply for a leave as soon
as the funds gets into your reliable account to come to your country for possible sharing and investment opportunity which you will assist me in doing.
Now you're talking sport. I'm gonna call my friend Hank right now to see if he wants to get in on the deal. He's working four jobs to pay for Yankee tickets and hot dogs, so he might be interested in some extra moolah from a dead lost guy without a spine who I'm going to pretend was related to me. He thinks Giambi was clean last year so he'll believe anything. Hold on, I'll call him now......
...
...
Okay, he's in. So is his friend "Billy Martin". Hank said he's dead too but since you're going to check out our papers, it'll be cool. And Benard, I think Hank is really interested because he wanted to use Ted Williams head as collateral if we need it. When I finished throwing up, I told him to keep the head in his tool shed next to Catfish Hunter's toe
May I assure you that this is safe and risk-free, as we have taken care of all necessary modalities to ensure a hitch-free movement.
Benard, moladities, schmodalities. We're in! And hitch-free is exactly what we want!
I have the authority of my partners involved in this assignment to propose that should you be willing to assist us in this,your
share would be 40%.
You drive a hard bargain Benardo. Billy, Hank, and moi were going to take 25%, but 40% is very generous. Thanks. With that extra money, I think we'll buy some cement to fix the cracks in Ted's head. He's got three or four of them now because we were playing kickball with him and, well, you know how that goes.
Just kidding Benard. Ted's a Hall of Famer. We wouldn't do that to Ted. Billy, on the other hand, is not in the Hall.
I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me.
Disappoint you? Of course not you silly goose. Like I said, we're in!
Best Regards,
Dr.Benard Mcarthy
You be da man Bennie |
Nohero
Supporter
Username: Nohero
Post Number: 5169
Registered: 10-1999
| | Posted on Thursday, March 9, 2006 - 10:27 pm: |
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Gosh, I really hope you sent that in a reply email. |
Dave
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 8857
Registered: 4-1997
| | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:18 am: |
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http://www.zefrank.com/request/index_better.html |
Case
Citizen
Username: Case
Post Number: 1259
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 8:13 am: |
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Dave - great link!
Sbenois - hopefully you're a Sam Kinison fan and will recognize this quote:
"Give... the email.... to me."
Seriously, if you'd like this person tortured to the point of tears, shoot me the address. |
Jhcmom
Citizen
Username: Jhcmom
Post Number: 47
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:59 pm: |
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Sbenois,
That was great! Really made me LOL! |
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