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Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3765
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 11:59 am: | 
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This was sent to me, and I was asked to forward it to my women friends. I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. Most guys have women friends, and this is important information for females of ALL ages. Please pass it along...
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed with an eye towards helping potential victims avoid being attacked successfully; here are some interesting responses:
1) The first thing they look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2) The second thing they look for is clothing They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
3) They also look for women on their cell phones, searching through their purse, or involved in other distracting activities while walking, because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.
4) Men are most likely to attack & rape between 5:00 and 8:30AM. Obviously, most date rape takes place at other times...
5) The number one place women are abducted from or attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots and garages. Number three is public restrooms.
6) These men are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
7) Only 2% said they carried weapons, because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence, but rape using a weapon is worth15-20 years.
8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they may become discouraged, since it only takes a moment of struggling with a noisy, resisting woman for them to realize that going after you will be time-consuming and potentially dangerous.
9) These men said they would be less likely to pick on women who have umbrellas or similar objects (which could be used as weapons to keep them at a distance) in their hands. Keys are not much of a deterrent, though, because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. The idea is to immediately convince these guys you're not worth the risk.
10) One self-defense strategy which is deemed sensible: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage, or is with you in an elevator or stairwell, turn to them, look them straight in the eye, and ask them a question, like "what time is it?", or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "We're in for a bad winter", etc... Now you've seen their face and can identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
12) If you carry pepper spray (an excellent idea), yell, "I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY!", and hold it out in front of you, prepared to use it immediately should the attacker attempt to grab it away from you.
13) If someone grabs you, you may not beat them with strength, but you might by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker very hard, either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) or in the upper inner thigh. Try to pich so hard that you can break through the skin and tear out muscle strands - the guy will need stitches. (Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; you'll feel just how much it hurts.)
14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. This will inflct maximum pain. You might think that by doing this you'll only anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the rapists stated that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible, until both knuckles crack audibly. The attacker may end up on his knees...
16) ...And, of course, the usual common sense advice still applies: Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can, and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
-s. |
LibraryLady..
Supporter
Username: Librarylady
Post Number: 3296
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 12:07 pm: |
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Sorry Soda...
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/rape.htm |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3767
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 12:32 pm: |
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...or not...
-s. |
The Notorious S.L.K.
Citizen
Username: Scrotisloknows
Post Number: 1265
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 12:33 pm: |
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I will never understand how men can rape woman as he is going on a hunting trip. I felt weird even kissing a girl without her permission during my dating years...
-SLK |
The Libertarian
Citizen
Username: Local_1_crew
Post Number: 1954
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 12:47 pm: |
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anone who believes a mass e-mail is a simp. |
Case
Citizen
Username: Case
Post Number: 1375
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 12:53 pm: |
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I'd argue with that, but I have to forward this email from Pepsi - if I send it to enough people I will win $2,000. |
Rick B
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 1076
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 1:02 pm: |
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anybody watch the office?
"when the son of the king of nigeria emails you and asks you for help...you help!"
- michael scott |
Wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2373
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 1:12 pm: |
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Rick B, one of my favorite shows! (Of course the fact that my niece is a main writer for the show has nothing whatsoever to do with my opinion.) |
Rick B
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 1078
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 1:15 pm: |
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Your niece isn't the Kelly character is she?
What a great show. Tell your niece they are doing well!  |
Joanne G
Citizen
Username: Joanne
Post Number: 47
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 1:21 pm: |
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back to the topic - this advice seems to totally discount the well-known fact that most rapes occur in or around the victim's home and the rapist is someone she knows well.
speaking from experience, it doesn't matter how well you're prepared - some people see violence as the only way to get control (regardless of how imaginary the power scenario is) and will use it on the slightest pretext. you gotta sleep sometime and if that's their opportunity, they will take it. and when you're in that situation, you do whatever you can, you don't have time to remember 'advice' or 'tactics'.
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e roberts
Citizen
Username: Wnwd00
Post Number: 376
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:22 am: |
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Joanne, i believe you only have a partial truth in your statement that "the rapist is someone she knows well". it would be much more accurate to say 'typically the rapist is an acquaintence of the victim'.
the above email is refering more or less to the fear of a "random rape". the "random rape" like any random crime is the most feared and has the largest psyhcological impact on society while the incidence of it are suprisingly low. much more commonly in regards to sexual assualts the criminal knows the victim from some type of social situation such as a date, coworker, or other friend. the best method of protection from sexual assualt in the vast majority of cases is minimizing the opourtunity (sorry about the spelling) for the crime to occur. In other words for a woman, she should avoid being in isoloated places with someone new, or someone she does not completly trust:
-consider choosing public places for dates
-bring your own car instead of being picked up (this prevents the subject from know where you live and you can leave whenever you want)
-consider carrying some type of mace/pepper spray and make sure you know how to use it, you do not want the first time to be for real
-think ahead; often times victims are their own worst enemies by providing a situation for an attack to occur
-find and take some type of a rape self defense class, i believe SOPD does have a program together with seton hall.
just a few tips from my expierence and work in law enforcement |
Joanne G
Citizen
Username: Joanne
Post Number: 48
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 3:08 am: |
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Sorry to have taken so long to reply, e roberts - we had PC hassles...
The stats that I have seen for the USA as well as for Australia indicate that well over 75% of rapes are perpetrated by people within the victim's own family or immediate circle of friends. Umm, to me that's more than just being an acquaintance. (I will admit I haven't recently read clsoely on the subject though, although I have been reading up on Australian studies of family abuse, disability, sexuality and regionality)
Random rape advice tends to really annoy me as it either gives incorrect or unwise advice or fails to be practical despite seeming so. It firstly assumes that a woman (as such advice is always directed at women) needs to learn - usually from an older man - how to avoid normal, everyday situations that should be perfectly safe in an ethical society (advice on watching where you walk, what you wear, where you meet friends); and secondly assumes that you're meeting strangers for a date and said strangers will be the perpetrators. OK where I live is much quieter and more trusting than where you live, but honestly? I never lived my life by NOT meeting strangers at places that were public, I always assume I get there and back under my own steam, etc. Doesn't really make me less vulnerable because it's unlikely (in my case) that those are the people trying to commit the offence.
Person who 'got' me was a former flat-mate (room-mate to you? here, that implies a closer relationship than we had) who had disappeared with paying rent four weeks before. He had been police-checked and had referrals and I had contacted him through a reputable housing agency. He also waited for 4 hours behind my bedroom window before making his move. Good news is he got a bigger fight than he expected, didn't really get what he was after - and I drew blood when I bit his wrist (easier to ID him when the police finally caught up with him!).
(Oh, and in Australia it's illegal to carry pepper spray or mace unless you're a police person - however spray perfume or can do as much damage and is more likely to be in a handbag...)  |
e roberts
Citizen
Username: Wnwd00
Post Number: 377
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 11:05 am: |
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joanne,
i am sorry for what happened to you. i am not sure what stats you are looking at however it has been my expierence, you know actually working in law enforcement, and the studies i have seen that in the vast majority of cases the victim will know the offender to some extent. it actually represents a target/dart board. Lets say 75% of rape victims know their attacker. Of that 75%, all at least know the attacker in some way, a bit less know them professional, a bit less as friends, a bit less a good friends, and finally a bit less as close personal friends.
Not a single point of advice that i gave is incorrect, and honestly i think it is fairly helpful, and if followed would really have minimal impact on your social life and it certianly will not keep you from meeting new people. Also the adivce comes from an "older man" most of the time because the vast majorty of criminalists, criminologists, expierenced detectives, and others with law enforcment expierence tend to male, and tend to be older, as they have gained expierence. also the advice is directed at women because while it does happen, and i have read about it happening a violent random rape against a male occurs much less frequently, and even when it does, it is typically not reported to law enforcement.
I understand you have some personal feelings on the matter due to your expierence, but i was just making overal statements that are drawn from my professional, and educational expierence.
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Brett Weir
Citizen
Username: Brett_weir
Post Number: 1473
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 12:34 pm: |
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Library Lady- you beat me to the punch; there is much better information available out there and this man has some of the best:
http://www.sapa.cmich.edu/Page/P_THOMPSON.htm
Steve Thompson trains college and law enforcement personnel nationwide and is one of the foremost profilers of sexual assailants. He has interviewed thousands of serial rapists and killers, including Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Joel Rifkin and Jeffrey Dahmer. He appeared recently at Seton Hall and was fascinating. He has definite mixed feelings about self-defense tactics against sexual assailants; he is a black-belt who instructed women for years until a top pupil of his was beaten nearly to death. He didn't recognize her until she spoke to him and said she was sorry she had failed to fend off her attacker. He never trained anyone again, but instead directed his energies toward researching and informing others about the mental workings of sexual predators.
If interested, go through his website at Central Michigan University. If really interested, read his book "No More Fear".
One more note of interest; 85% of sexual assaults committed nationally are by acquaintences- this number is even greater in school environments (college and high school). |
Joanne G
Citizen
Username: Joanne
Post Number: 53
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 7:08 pm: |
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Both last posts are really reinforcing my point: the random rape usually isn't, and so msot of the 'advice' given as per persistent e-mail chains and the first post in this thread is too simplistic.
Sadly, I do know several men who are victims of intended rape and they do seem to be more random than with women. These men also were attacked by gangs, not sole perpetrators.
All seems to reinforce Brownmiller's contention that 'rape is a political statement of perceived power'.
I'm the quiet type of feminist - just getting on with my life and trying to live it the way I want. Because I'm also fairly literal, if my society claims it's inclusive and equal then I tend to take it as read that I can go anywhere, do anything as freely as anyone else. And it annoys me that women are told not to walk down our main street after dark, but men can hang out whenever and whereever they want when the pubs shut and that's OK. Guess you can tell I work with Reclaim the Night movement, eh?!  |
Brett Weir
Citizen
Username: Brett_weir
Post Number: 1475
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, April 23, 2006 - 12:29 pm: |
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Joanne G- I completely agree that women should be able to walk the Main Street to their hearts' content, but reality is that women are more at risk. It is not a value judgment but a stark reality. As for Brownmiller's contention, it is too much of a simplification to group all sexual predators under the same category of "a political statement of perceived power". Rape is all about anger and control, but each predator has a pathology all his/her own. They do tend to share similar behavioral patterns that can be identified and learned from, but motivations are as varied as the stars.
I'm all for the advancement of feminist principles- I have several daughters and I want them to have every advantage and be offered every opportunity. But I also want them to know how to avoid those things that can't be negotiated through logical means. Sexual predators are at the top of that list, whether they are convicted street rapists or well-dressed, charming college men who prey in plain sight and are protected by the passive assent of others.
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Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2655
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 10:07 am: |
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I absolutely agree with Joanne on what women should be able to do, and the "take back the night" movements. At the same time, I have a nearly 13 year old daughter and do advise her not to dress/behave in ways that might bring on unwanted attention, either in the form of harrassment or rape. Aside from walking alone or with just one girlfriend at night even in our fair city, I also advise her to trust her feelings/gut. If passing by/through/around a group of boys/men while walking home makes her uncomfortable, don't. Take a side street, etc.
And having worked at a university, I'd advise any young woman not to go to frat parties and similar without a posse of friends and a mutual notification plan. So many "acquaintance" rapes in the college setting. Drunk girls, or girls who've been given something, too often find themselves in some unpleasant situations -- with nice young college boys who say they consented. I'm far from a prude, but saw the consequences a little too often. Some parts of Charlotte Simmons are too real. |
Brett Weir
Citizen
Username: Brett_weir
Post Number: 1476
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 10:47 am: |
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If you access the link above, one of Steve Thompson's college programs is called "No Zebras", a reference to the passive behavior of a herd toward the singling out of one of their members by predators. It is important to cultivate in young people a sense of stewardship toward their peers and to take an active stand against predatory behavior. Friends need to step in when a peer is drunk and at risk, either to be victimized or to act inapproriately or aggressively toward others. Most college incidents happen in relatively plain view, and most accused offenders have people coming out of the woodwork to defend them despite their criminal actions. Awareness and active intervention are vital. |
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