| Author |
Message |
    
Matt Foley
Citizen
Username: Mattfoley
Post Number: 641
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 10:57 pm: | 
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Thank YOU for ruining my honeydew melon!
Do I approach YOU in public mid-bite and strike up meaningless conversation? NO
Do I oggle YOU whilst enjoying your newspaper and latte? NO
This is a simple set of rules I wish YOU to follow...
1. Do not talk to me during me time.
2. Do not call out to me in a public place like a jackass.
3. Avoid making direct eye contact with me. Unless you are attempting to impose some Alpha dog thing. In which case please excuse my biting your head off.
4. Remind YOURSELF that if I wanted to make nice-nice with you, I would initiate the contact. |
Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3013
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 11:19 pm: |
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So uh, somebody pissed you off, did they not.
Go get 'em tiger, sell tickets, I'll never see a thing. |
Mayor McCheese
Supporter
Username: Mayor_mccheese
Post Number: 1287
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 12:19 am: |
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Matt, next time I see you eating a melon I will be sure to suddenly pat you on the back while yelling. If you don't drop the melon I will be forced to knock it out of your hand. This process will be followed by laughing accompanied by some mild pointing. |
Wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2424
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 6:43 am: |
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That process also could result in some mild choking. Think before you mess with the man and his melon. |
fiche
Citizen
Username: Fiche
Post Number: 132
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 8:07 am: |
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Matt: I don't get it. You're mad because an acquaintance spoke to you in public? Or are you somebody famous and this person didn't know you and just started up a conversation?
Do you wear a sign saying "I am now enjoying 'me' time"?
WTF?
|
kmk
Supporter
Username: Kmk
Post Number: 1219
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 10:59 am: |
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Who the hell has "me" time in public?
BTW: Self-absorbtion is not an attractive quality, common curtesy is often required in when outside of one's own home. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7523
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:03 am: |
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I have this vision of Matt sitting on a bench in the middle of Herald Square, pigeons at his feet, melon juice dribbling down his chin. Suddenly, he looks up as someone passes by and says "Hey, Matt. How's it going? Nice melon."
Matt picks up the rind and wings it at said Passer-by's head.
Can't you see that it's my melon time????? |
kmk
Supporter
Username: Kmk
Post Number: 1220
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:18 am: |
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Does this guy date?
It would be very difficult for some hot babe, with a newspaper and latte, to even make a pass at him (when there is food is near by). |
Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3025
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:32 am: |
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Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3026
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:33 am: |
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Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3027
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:34 am: |
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Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3028
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:35 am: |
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maybe it was this kind of melon
 |
Mr. Big Poppa
Citizen
Username: Big_poppa
Post Number: 618
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:37 am: |
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That's awful plastic surgery! They are different colors! |
Glock 17
Citizen
Username: Glock17
Post Number: 817
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 12:04 pm: |
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That's a dude! DUDE...check out the adams apple and the defined arm muscle |
Bailey
Citizen
Username: Baileymac
Post Number: 277
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 12:36 pm: |
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Good catch there Glock...
He DOES have nice legs though..
 |
kmk
Supporter
Username: Kmk
Post Number: 1221
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 1:05 pm: |
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Hence the need for strategically placed melons.....
I knew there was something unusual about that gal, I figured she was just "foreign"! |
Hank Zona
Supporter
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 5556
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 1:21 pm: |
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so does that mean those strategically placed melons are not the seedless variety? |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 147
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 2:39 pm: |
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No they are the "needless" variety... |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 148
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 2:42 pm: |
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That girl in the picture might be a man but Matt Foley sure sounds like a girl... about 13 years old with PMS.
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Buzzsaw
Citizen
Username: Buzzsaw
Post Number: 4636
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 2:49 pm: |
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oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooSNAP!
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Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3030
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 5:52 pm: |
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I heard that all the way over here, and the echo too |
Dave
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 9344
Registered: 4-1997
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 6:12 pm: |
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man that was loud |
Mayor McCheese
Supporter
Username: Mayor_mccheese
Post Number: 1293
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 6:46 pm: |
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Matt Foley just took the back of a hand across his virtual face. |
Factvsfiction
Citizen
Username: Factvsfiction
Post Number: 237
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 7:34 pm: |
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Proustean. |
Glock 17
Citizen
Username: Glock17
Post Number: 822
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 7:56 pm: |
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Who got served now!?! HUH HUH!?!? |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 158
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 9:54 pm: |
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Oh man I got no luck on this site. I just got Big Poppa to be nice to me on another thread and now I sit in fear at home checking the posting every few minutes and wait..wait patiently for the volley back. Oh come on Matt, post and get it over with...this sword is hanging over my head and I don't think I'll be able to sleep toni..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
Mr. Big Poppa
Citizen
Username: Big_poppa
Post Number: 626
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 9:57 pm: |
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Bajou, now you want me to be mean again??!?!?
women...just can't figure them out!!!! |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 160
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 10:07 pm: |
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No I don't want you to be mean again... I said I just got you to be nice to me. No need to try to figure us women out, I know and accept the fact that you men have your limitations.
I know I'ma gonna get it now...can't keep my virtual mouth shut today. Oh just humor me for a day..I'm on a roll... |
Mayor McCheese
Supporter
Username: Mayor_mccheese
Post Number: 1297
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 10:08 pm: |
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Matt Floey will not crawl out of his home under the rock. He is much to scared of another verbal lashing. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7537
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 3, 2006 - 11:09 pm: |
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.... or being pelted with rotten honeydew..... |
Matt Foley
Citizen
Username: Mattfoley
Post Number: 642
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 9:13 pm: |
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In addition to my initial ground rules posted above, I have a few other key points for YOU to remember...
-DO NOT TOUCH ME! I have zero tolerence for unsolicited physical contact.
This includes
Patting me on the back
Putting your filthy hands on my shoulder
Att'a Boy (sports settings)
Placing your hand on mine
-Never offer an opinion to me and (if) after I disagree with your POV attempt to sway my thinking. Probability dictates that YOU are unprepared to debate me on most topics under the sun.
-When walking in front of me on the sidewalk, stay your course. I will adjust my path and gait to avoid you. Trust me on this, I definately have no desire to share a few pedestrian strides at your side.
-If there are multiple tables availible at any given resteraunt, be advised that I prefer you chose to sit at the furthest seat from me. I was here first and chose my seat according to this philosophy as well. It is just the right thing to do. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 200
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 9:18 pm: |
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Damn .... time to take your pills Matty Boy (or girl) |
hch
Citizen
Username: Hch
Post Number: 253
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 9:22 pm: |
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"me time"
"my melon"
There are many gross jokes to be had on this thread. |
Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3041
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 9:43 pm: |
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we still love ya',
what about gang bangs, are you up for that? |
Mr. Big Poppa
Citizen
Username: Big_poppa
Post Number: 638
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 10:22 pm: |
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gangbangs...yeah!!!!
 |
bets
Supporter
Username: Bets
Post Number: 23052
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 11:54 pm: |
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Quote:Do you wear a sign saying "I am now enjoying 'me' time"?
WTF?
FICHE! Good one! I'm so proud!!! 
Matt, I can't wait until the next time I see you eating a melon. In fact, I may bring some melon to you so I can pat you on the back and yell as you consume it. I'll be choking with laughter.  |
combustion
Citizen
Username: Spontaneous
Post Number: 12
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:38 am: |
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Try a midol. That might help. |
Mayor McCheese
Supporter
Username: Mayor_mccheese
Post Number: 1316
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 2:14 am: |
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Please excuse Matt Foley. With rants such as the ones he has presented on this board God only knows what is wrong with him. We can all see that whatever this something is, that it is serious. I know that I was one of the first to stop and laugh, but perhaps a new approach is needed. I suggest that we all (in our own way) pray for Matt. He obviously needs whatever help he can get.
If praying doesn't help, perhaps Bajou can contact Matt to give him a real backhand across the face.
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Glock 17
Citizen
Username: Glock17
Post Number: 839
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 2:47 am: |
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"When I was young and in my prime I used to gangbang all the time...but now I'm old and gray...I only gangbang once a day!" |
Mayor McCheese
Supporter
Username: Mayor_mccheese
Post Number: 1319
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 2:53 am: |
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Glock, I feel bad for you if you are already graying at 14. |
Glock 17
Citizen
Username: Glock17
Post Number: 841
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 3:41 am: |
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Haha no no it was a just a song a friend of mine made up |
fiche
Citizen
Username: Fiche
Post Number: 135
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 7:24 am: |
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Actually, upon reflection, I think Foley is just yanking our chain. |
kmk
Supporter
Username: Kmk
Post Number: 1230
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 8:58 am: |
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Yeah...I love the image of a "tough guy" glowering at all those around him while he eats his....melon?
Really - he should be scarfing down a greasy slice folded in half.
Come to think of it, it does sound like diet-related crankiness. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 204
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 10:15 am: |
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I think Matt has a stalker..unfortunately that stalker is stalking the melon not Matt..
It's ok Matt I used to have a grape stalker and I stood up for myself too.
Now get up wipe that melon juice of your phase and act like a man damm it. |
CLK
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 2269
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 11:04 am: |
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Glock that song has been around at least since I was in high school, and I'm a lot older than you. If your friend says he made it up, he's lying ....
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Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 3063
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 11:15 am: |
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 |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 212
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 11:39 am: |
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Oh my goosh I didn't mean to type phase (I am at work) but face...my bad
Hey monster - I object to you distributing pictures (even if it's a drawing) of me on the internet without my permission |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 1874
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 12:29 pm: |
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A simple google search of the gang bang lyrics came up with this link:
http://www.immortalia.com/html/categorized-by-song/g/gang-bang.htm
Oddly enough, it seems to not have an author. But you can listen to someone singing it. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 213
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 12:33 pm: |
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OOOOH I clicked on the link and was "warned" that it is unsuitable to view at my office... darn |
Mayor McCheese
Supporter
Username: Mayor_mccheese
Post Number: 1321
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:01 pm: |
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"Actually, upon reflection, I think Foley is just yanking our chain."
I would say that you are correct. However, despite this being a false report it does not save from from that facvt that it is still the post of a •••. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 216
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:06 pm: |
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I will spend my entire weekend looking for a guy/gal with a melon...and then I am gonna get him/her. |
Matt Foley
Citizen
Username: Mattfoley
Post Number: 643
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:14 pm: |
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Churlish Child is the Cheese.
I dare say that any of you MOLers would disslike constantly being bothered for companionship and idle chit chat. It sometimes pains me to even simply see a "casual acquaintence" out in public. For fear that I may have to engage them in "Hellos".
That is why WE are C.A. and not buddies. If I liked you that much we would have one another's phone number. Since I never reach out to you, please avoid greeting me. I loathe false salutations!!!! |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 220
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:24 pm: |
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Oh gosh darn Matty boy/girl.. I think you truly find yourself a tad tooo amazing. Maybe that C.A. (which I assume means casual aquaintance) is just saying hi to you cause he/she feels bad for your sorry a..!
I have a feeling you have alot less friends (casual or melon-slurping-interupting-worthy) then you think.
keywords in your post..OUT IN PUBLIC....
either that or you are a damned good troller |
Matt Foley
Citizen
Username: Mattfoley
Post Number: 644
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:24 pm: |
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PS: My MOL birthday is coming up and I'd like to invite all of you to Bunny's to celebrate at a June date TBA.**
** This invitation does not ensure face time with me. However, your presence will be acknowledged by one or more of my inner circle. |
Urbanretreat
Citizen
Username: Urbanretreat
Post Number: 31
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:28 pm: |
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I can feel the friendly embrace of your melon-stained hands now. So dinner at your place tonight? Should I bring pictures of my nieces? Maybe we can just talk about our favorite character on "She's the Sheriff" or why you live in a van down by the river. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 222
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:32 pm: |
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Does your inner circle consist of the mellon seeds stuck to your cheeks? |
Matt Foley
Citizen
Username: Mattfoley
Post Number: 645
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:42 pm: |
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O that Suzanne Sommers and her well cared for thighs. Slap a badge on and call me Lobo. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 230
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 1:58 pm: |
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Thank god you are trolling ... I started to worry that there was a melon-sucking Sociopath living in our midst.
Either that or a PMS'ing 13 year old whinning about her difficult imaginary social-life. |
Mayor McCheese
Supporter
Username: Mayor_mccheese
Post Number: 1323
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 3:45 pm: |
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Matt Foley does not have a social life, only complaints on MOL. |
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