M-SO Message Board: It wasn't my dog (also for Case)

M-SO Message Board » Soapbox » Archive through June 14, 2006 » It wasn't my dog (also for Case)

« Previous Next »

Thread Originator Last Poster Posts Pages Last Post

Closed: New threads not accepted on this page

Author

Message

Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater

Post Number: 2162
Registered: 10-2004

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 10:30 am:

The other day, TS and I were heading into the car and on our steps (at the first landing) was an odd looking greyish bloblular object. Upon closer inspection it appeared to be a well placed dog turd that seemed to be coated in some sort of granular dirt material. Not sure what it might have been. Didn't care to find out.

TS insisted that some neighbor must have removed this dog turd and delivered it to our home (a return to sender sort of thing). I insisted that no one is that gross and why would anyone do such a thing since we always clean up after our dog. I easily kicked the dried up, dessicated dog pie to the curb. TS kept insisting and I kept denying. But again and again the poop kept popping up in my mind. It wouldn't go away. Who would do such a thing?

The chance that whomever did this nasty thing actually is a reader of MOL is quite slim but I thought I would give it a shot.

Dearest neighbor,

You're one sick bastard. It wasn't my dog. I ALWAYS pick up after my dog. Go seek medical help.

-Alley G

Josh Holtz
Citizen
Username: Jholtz

Post Number: 470
Registered: 4-2004

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 11:36 am:

Could it have been from a very large bird? Like a North African ostrich. Some have been measured at upto 9 ft. tall and 345 lbs.

Case
Citizen
Username: Case

Post Number: 1713
Registered: 2-2005

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 11:41 am:

It is very possible - I chased a 300 pound ostrich off my front lawn last weekend, and I had the distinct feeling that it was getting ready to poop.

mem
Citizen
Username: Mem

Post Number: 6225
Registered: 5-2001

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 11:51 am:

If you found a WSJ with the turd, then it was the Brick Church Dumper. He left his WSJ along with his usual odd looking greyish bloblular object coated in some sort of granular dirt material on my front lawn as well. He never dumps without his WJS.

Just The Aunt
Supporter
Username: Auntof13

Post Number: 5218
Registered: 1-2004

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 2:17 pm:

Could it be a bear or deer?

Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater

Post Number: 2163
Registered: 10-2004

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 3:19 pm:

I guess anything is possible. It could be an ostrich, or a bear or a deer. But we are pretty far from the reservation and I've never seen deer near our house. Bear? Ummmmm... Heck why not guess a coyote?

It looked like a dog poop. I'm pretty intimate with what dog poop looks like UNFORTUNATELY. But yes it could have been something else. I want it to be something else. However, I can't help thinking about it's strategic location. It was placed right at the top of the landing of our stairs. Someone was brazen enough to make it up the first set of stairs (5 or so) and dump. But not brave enough to go the full distance and walk up the next set of stairs to our front door. It was pretty much smack dab in the middle of the walk -- not pushed here or there. Yes this isn't concrete evidence I know. But I do own a dog, and I walk him around our neighborhood. And it looked exactly like dog poop (except for it's coating of granular material, and it was OLD poop. So it wasn't like the deer or bear just dumped it. Someone found this and transported it here, how else would it get so crusty and coated by some odd material?

Unfortunately mem, there was no WSJ to accompany it. I almost sort of wish they had left their calling card.

Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou

Post Number: 407
Registered: 2-2006

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 4:50 pm:

I think we should all adjust our outlook. I just got pooped on by a pigeon while sitting in a restaurant and everybody kept telling me how blessed I was. Didn't feel so blessed considering I was wearing a new outfit but everybody was thrilled for me so I ended up not really caring.

Since I have three dogs of my own it is just a matter of time before somebody leaves the same present for me. I think we should think of it like the pigeon poop and see it as a sign of good luck and being part of the chosen few. I mean somebody started that pigeon crap... li(t)teraly

So feel blessed my dear Alleygater and sleep sound with the knowledge that not everybody got real poop on their doorstep.

mem
Citizen
Username: Mem

Post Number: 6229
Registered: 5-2001

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 5:00 pm:

Bird Poop Good Luck Parameters:

1. Bird poop MUST land on your head.

2. You must be aware of it, for example, it doesn't count if you don't notice it until you look in a mirror.

3. The good luck happens within 24 hours.

Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou

Post Number: 410
Registered: 2-2006

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 5:08 pm:

Why does it have to land on my head??

So you mean I got shat on for nothing??? You mean I am shat out of luck since 24 hours have passed.

Damn it Mem you owe me a glass

mem
Citizen
Username: Mem

Post Number: 6231
Registered: 5-2001

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 5:19 pm:

I'm sot sure now that I think of it. I have been shat on many times, but only once on my head. I was 22 years old, working at an art show in Central Park, and it felt like a bomb landed on my head. I knew it was shat right away after I felt it and looked at my hand, and the very next day I had the job offer that has launched my XX year career. But I don't know if that was good luck after all, because if I didn't land that job I probably would have married my millionaire college boyfriend after all and had servants and owned beautiful properties all over the world, so maybe it's bad luck if it lands on your head? But I just had lunch with him today, and he still has Iitis so who knows.

Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou

Post Number: 412
Registered: 2-2006

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 5:44 pm:

Darn...shat on, messed up my new outfit and nothing not even an I-itis millionaire boyfriend or a career. Damn that pigeon...

Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater

Post Number: 2172
Registered: 10-2004

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 7:04 pm:

...back from googling Iitis.

Hey Mem what the heck is Iitis? is it contagious?

mem
Citizen
Username: Mem

Post Number: 6233
Registered: 5-2001

Posted on Thursday, June 1, 2006 - 11:00 pm:

I-itis, pronouced eye eye tis. I I I I me me me me mine mine mine mine.

Translation: It's my world, you just live in it.

A deadly, but non-contagious disease.

Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou

Post Number: 416
Registered: 2-2006

Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 1:30 pm:

I-Itis is not contagious as MEM stated but it does cause hearing loss/ and impaired cognitive functions in people in close proximity to an I-Itis case which lessen without treatment if a healthy distance is establish between and affected and an unaffected person.

catmanjac
Citizen
Username: Catmanjac

Post Number: 252
Registered: 2-2004

Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 4:55 pm:

Did it look like a turd-shaped nonpareil? It could have been cat sh:t with cat litter on it.

Sounds like a college prank, and I wouldn't take it personally.

Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater

Post Number: 2175
Registered: 10-2004

Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:12 pm:

It did look like cat litter covering it. But if it was a kitty turd, that was one big cat. Also it makes the prank even more bizarre. I don't have a bengal tiger. Why would someone dump one of their turds on my stairway?