| Author | Message | ||
     Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2496 Registered: 7-2003 |
Its 6am, I had to travel to the store to get Bananas and strawberries for smoothies this morning. You decided to park behind me so that I couldn’t back out, you just stopped the car as if this was your world and I was just a peon. I said “Excuse me”, you ignored me. I said “Excuse me miss!” again ignored. You started walking faster and didn’t leave me an option. So I threw a banana at you, and hit you in the head. You left me no option. In hind site, I probably should have thrown a strawberry, but I was upset. Thank you for moving your car. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4078 Registered: 12-2004  |
Did you really throw a banana at someone and hit them in the head? OMG, how funny. Surprised the byotch didn't have you arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. Tell us more! | ||
| Bob K Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 11917 Registered: 5-2001 |
If it was ripe it is only a dangerous weapon. It has to be hard to be a lethal weapon.  Were you legally parked? | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 1423 Registered: 5-2005  |
So she made you go bananas? I know we see sketches like this on comedy shows, but to know of someone who has done this is too funny... As MATB says though, she could have had you arrested for assault with a deadly fruit. You are probably better off throwing the banana than the strawberry as strawberry juice would stain. I think it's very gracious that you posted your thanks that she moved her car... I hope the smoothie was good! | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2498 Registered: 7-2003 |
There really isn’t that much to tell. The banana made contact She turned “What the hell is your problem???” “You just parked behind me, I can’t get out. That’s really rude, and just stupid” She walked back to her car while patting her hair down, got in and backed up. I walked over and picked up said banana. Got in my car, and backed out. She pulled into my spot. No police required, she knew she was wrong. Best smoothie I’ve ever had  | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4081 Registered: 12-2004 |
 I would have loved to have seen it. "She knew she was wrong." Seems to me if she was ignorant enough to park behind you and then ignore you when you were trying to speak to her, she might be the kind of person who believes she is never wrong. It's part and parcel of that whole, self-involved, sense-of-entitlement, oblivious-to-the-rest-of-the-world attitude! | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2499 Registered: 7-2003 |
She just figured that she could get in and out with out me needing to back out. But much to her dismay, I returned to my car. I would guess she figured that if she could get into the store I would just be out of luck. I must have some Aussie Bushman in my blood, because my Banana Boomerang flew straight and true. And it was far enough for me to second guess myself while it was spinning through the air. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4084 Registered: 12-2004 |
Did anyone witness it? What was thier reaction? Laughter? Disgust? | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2500 Registered: 7-2003 |
1 wittness, did a double take, smirked. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave  Post Number: 9958 Registered: 4-1997  |
Good thing you don't put coconuts in your smoothie. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4086 Registered: 12-2004 |
Or pineapples, not only are they big and heavy, but prickly too. Or a watermelon. Super big and heavy, and if you're lucky it'll split on impact and soak the idiot with red juice! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1909 Registered: 10-2003 |
Brett, did you retrieve your banana? | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 6589 Registered: 12-2001  |
OMG another MOL short film idea....PLEASE, PEOPLE MAKE IT STOP! | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9959 Registered: 4-1997 |
You can work this into the other short. The guy who throws the banana could be the same guy who loses his marbles. It all fits. The banana is his primitive self and the marbles scene is a symbolic response to technology. Think 2001 with Moonwatcher and the bone. | ||
| Paper Bag Bandit Citizen Username: Glock17 Post Number: 1225 Registered: 7-2005  |
actually. I don't buy the story at all. You didn't throw a piece of fruit at anyone. B/S | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2501 Registered: 7-2003 |
And I don't think you own a Glock. Doesn’t mean it isn't true though. | ||
| Paper Bag Bandit Citizen Username: Glock17 Post Number: 1233 Registered: 7-2005 |
I don't own a Glock. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2503 Registered: 7-2003 |
Oh well I did throw a banana | ||
| Smoochie Citizen Username: Smoochie Post Number: 87 Registered: 8-2005 |
Brett, I applaud you for having thee courage to do what I have thought about doing many times! My aim is terrible and whatever projectile was/is handy will no doubt hit the wrong person.  | ||
| Mayor McCheese Supporter Username: Mayor_mccheese Post Number: 1687 Registered: 7-2004  |
Brett, you couldn't have chased her down and tapped her on the shoulder? I don't know, maybe she did deserve it, but then again, maybe she didn't. Glock, I don't believe that you don't believe this story. You say the same thing every time someone posts just about anything. It is getting old. Maybe you need a break from the message board. Go play with your GI Joes. | ||
| Paper Bag Bandit Citizen Username: Glock17 Post Number: 1235 Registered: 7-2005 |
He should've been arrested. And Mayor, just because you are going through some sort of "I'm old" crisis doesn't mean you have to insult me in every post. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2504 Registered: 7-2003 |
She probably would have made it into the store before I caught up to her, unless I dropped everything and sprinted. But I wasn’t really thinking that. In the past two days I have been the victim of 5 rude / selfish people (I won’t go into them all here) so I kinda snapped a little. Call it Parking Rage. Funny thing is that Bananas have been popping up all over today. I threw one, my assistant was eating one, and there is a commercial that says Banana like 5 times. Then friend emailed me about his dog eating a bunch of bananas. | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 1424 Registered: 5-2005 |
Truth is always stranger than fiction, and a heck of a lot funnier! | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 2358 Registered: 11-2001  |
Brett, I am impressed that at your assertiveness, your quick thinking, and your aim. A strawberry probably wouldn't have hit its target, and would have had less impact, anyway. Btw, my son told me the following joke just before I opened this thread: Q: What do you call two banana peels? A: A pair of slippers. How topical. | ||
| Mayor McCheese Supporter Username: Mayor_mccheese Post Number: 1688 Registered: 7-2004 |
Glock, I don't think I am old at all. I am actually quite young. I insult you because your posts are ridiculous. I guess in the back of my mind I hope that one day you will just get annoyed with me and leave this message board and venture out of your house into a brave new world. | ||
| Mr. Big Poppa Citizen Username: Big_poppa Post Number: 712 Registered: 7-2004  |
I guess there was no chance of her being hard of hearing? It sounds like a funny story, but you could have ended up in court. I wouldn't recommend doing something like that again. I'm not a lawyer, but it sounds like that could be considered assault (obviously not with a deadly weapon). However, I wouldn't wat to get into a situation where a judge decides if it is assault or not. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1774 Registered: 10-2005  |
This has got to be the funniest thread I ever experienced on MOL. Between Brett and the bickering between Mayor & Glock I am practically choking on my fries. go play with your GI Joes...lol Brett, I commend you. And if your story isn't true then thanks for making me laugh today. God only knows how many times i wanted to throw more than a banana at someone.... Just for added effects (sp), can I ask where this incident occured? -SLK | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2507 Registered: 7-2003 |
It was at a Path mark in Fairlawn, so it wasn’t a local joint, and I don’t feel like she will read the thread and hunt me down. I know that she wasn’t hearing impaired, because every time I called out she sped up. That’s what really irked me. She was wrong to park there, but really wrong to try to ignore me. I think she was embarrassed that she got caught and couldn’t figure out what to do. I think the banana surprised her as much as my actions surprised me. And as for having a judge involved. I don’t think that the Banana had enough velocity to hurt anything but the woman’s ego. I can’t imagine what the cops would have said if she called them. I guess I would have had to eat the evidence. | ||
| Scalia Citizen Username: Scalia Post Number: 28 Registered: 7-2004 |
Sorry to put a damper on everyone's fun, but I find the original poster's actions to be wholly unacceptable. While the story is amusing, to commit assault and battery against someone who inconvenienced you is patently criminal. I understand that we live in a cynical, selfish world where common sense, courtesy and decency seem to no longer exist; however, resorting to throwing objects at someone is no better. Imagine if this woman was your mother, wife or daughter. I would not be offended if someone yelled at or ran up next to my mother, wife or daughter demanding that they move their improperly parked car, as such inconsiderate conduct deserves to be rebuked. I would not, however, in any situation, be able to condone an assault against my mother, wife or daughter. I can only hope that the next time any one of us is tempted to launch produce projectiles, we think twice about how such conduct is contributing to this area's general lack of civility. | ||
| Paper Bag Bandit Citizen Username: Glock17 Post Number: 1236 Registered: 7-2005 |
Oh, sorry mayor.. I was mistaken. I guess this is how you deal with your midlife crisis - By insulting people younger than yourself Go skydiving or something. And Brett, It doesn't matter whether or not anyone was hurt...it's still assault. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2508 Registered: 7-2003 |
It wasn't assault and battery, it was a food fight. I think to be charged with assault and battery you have to be trying to harm the person. But as far as I'm concerned I will continue to defend my way of life with produce. Yes, that is a banana in my pocket, what’s it to ya? | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9964 Registered: 4-1997 |
What about the fruit's rights? | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2509 Registered: 7-2003 |
Paper, It wasn't assault, if it was anything it was battery. Assault is the threat, not the action. 3. (Law) An apparently violent attempt, or willful offer with force or violence, to do hurt to another; an attempt or offer to beat another, accompanied by a degree of violence, but without touching his person, as by lifting the fist, or a cane, in a threatening manner, or by striking at him, and missing him. If the blow aimed takes effect, it is a battery. Now go get your shine box | ||
| Mayor McCheese Supporter Username: Mayor_mccheese Post Number: 1689 Registered: 7-2004 |
Hahahaha, midlife crisis. I hope not. That would mark me for death by 50. Skydiving sounds fun; maybe we could pry you of the house to come along. Brett, my freshmen year of college I was involved in what turned into a large scale food fight. I know first hand that a food fight can get you into a lot of trouble. If I recall correctly, the penalty was something like writing a 2 page paper about safety and what I learned, 10 hours of service, and housing probation. The worst part of it though was trying to rationalize to the housing director exactly what was going though my mind at the time. He did not like my explanation of "he threw and rotten orange at me, so you see that is why I had to throw a rotten apple at him, and that is how it got started." I believe that it is technically assault. | ||
| Aquaman Supporter Username: Aquaman Post Number: 964 Registered: 8-2001  |
How To Defend Yourself Against A Man Armed With a Banana | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2510 Registered: 7-2003 |
WATERBURY, Conn. (AP) - A food fight that started with fruit cup turned into a mealtime melee, serving up a full plate of arrests and injuries. Seven seventh-graders were arrested after a spat in a middle school cafeteria left two teachers and a detective with injuries Wednesday. The incident began at West Side Middle School after a girl dumped a fruit cup over a boy's head, police said. The two started fighting, then other students joined in, some jumping on tables and throwing food, police said. "What was described as a riot situation developed in the cafeteria," Sgt. Christopher Corbett said. A detective and two teachers suffered minor injuries breaking up the melee. Three girls and fours boys ranging in age from 12 to 14 were arrested on charges including breach of peace, and inciting a riot. All seven were released to their parents after promising to appear in juvenile court. It was only 1 banana! | ||
| Paper Bag Bandit Citizen Username: Glock17 Post Number: 1237 Registered: 7-2005 |
Mayor you obviously know nothing of me if you think i sit in the house all day. | ||
| Mayor McCheese Supporter Username: Mayor_mccheese Post Number: 1690 Registered: 7-2004 |
Brett, my melee started from one orange. You would be amazed how things can snowball. Glock, I obviously know nothing about you because I don't know you. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2512 Registered: 7-2003 |
Ah but Mayor that is where you are wrong. She was unarmed, I had all the fruit!!!!! | ||
| Case Citizen Username: Case Post Number: 1782 Registered: 2-2005 |
I think its a great story, really. I can just picture the aura of entitlement emanating from this woman as she walked away from her car. Too bad you weren't in the mood for boston cream pie that morning. Mayor - if you're bored, ask Glock for his version of "The History of Black People In America". It's a short read, but a very amusing one.  |
