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Tuxedo
Citizen
Username: Tuxedo
Post Number: 73
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 8:40 pm: | 
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Barking dogs are a part of living in Essex County. I have a dog myself. However, we have a neighbor who has a little dog that barks incessantly when they go away. It's been going on for several summers, but this season, the dog has gotten worse. I politely mentioned something to him under the guise of concern about the dog. The owner seemed shocked that his dog was a nuisance. However, a month later, the dog still barks and barks and barks. I'm not sure how to handle it because obviously his neighbors directly next to him don't seem to mind or have gotten used to it or are deaf. But it's bothersome to me. I don't want to make myself an enemy, but it's annoying as hell. The dog is old and hopefully it'll croak soon. Maybe I should just grin and bare it through this season and if it starts again next summer, address it again.
Any advice? |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4239
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 9:16 pm: |
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Nicely and calmly bring it up again, again under the guise of concern about the dog.
"Hey neighbor man, remember when I mentioned that Sparky was barking like crazy that time? Yeah, well, he's still doing it, and he does it fairly regularly. Is Sparky O.K.? Poor guy must be so tired."
Perhaps the owner thinks it was a one-time deal, and doesn't realize it happens a lot? |
Kibbegirl
Citizen
Username: Kibbegirl
Post Number: 656
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 9:21 pm: |
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We too have a barker and it annoys the hell out of me and many others. Our dog barks at any and everything. So one day a neighbor came to our house, as nice as could be, and suggested we look into bark collars, as she had the same problem with one of her dogs. We purchased two types of devices -- a cintrinella spray (sp?) bark collar and a "buzz" bark collar. We use each periodically but when we use the the buzz collar, it's on low voltage. Now when she barks at the wind, I just show her either collar and she shuts up quickly -- no kidding. I used to feel bad about hooking these devices on her but what's the flip side? Pissed off neighbors calling the cops and complaining about noise? If you think your neighbor's vibe is inviting and calm, then I would suggest these options. It's worth a try. Good luck. |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4241
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 9:31 pm: |
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Used a bark collar with success with our dog when he was a puppy and we lived in an apartment. These days, he's really not much of a barker, so we don't need it anymore.
Might be a good idea to suggest it as Kibbegirl said. |
Bajou
Citizen
Username: Bajou
Post Number: 1351
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 9:43 pm: |
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Bark collars are a great tool. The owner has to make sure they start on the lowest setting especially since the dog is old. It usually doesn't take much more then that anyway. Also one cannot use a bark collar if neighbor has a dog that barks. It can be set off by another dog.
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red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 6560
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 9:46 pm: |
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Just let the neighbor know it is getting on your nerves, but nicely. Do you have any children? That would be a great way to bring it up. "my kids have been having trouble napping, the dog has been a little louder than usual." |
CFA
Citizen
Username: Cfa
Post Number: 1664
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 4:44 am: |
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Set up a video camera to catch the sound. This way the owner can hear what you go through and the video is time stamped so he'll know it's in real time. |
Tuxedo
Citizen
Username: Tuxedo
Post Number: 74
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 9:08 am: |
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Thanks everyone. I'll speak with him. My hurdle is going to be that his neighbors on either side just put up with it or else they've become immune or don't want to confront. I really like the Meandtheboys line about concern for the dog.
Last night the owner went out for 8 hours and the dog barked the whole time. I eventually just shut the windows and turned on the A/C. |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 2329
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 9:25 am: |
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Just be sweet as pie and not pushy or like you have ulterior motives. I would be hurt if I found out my dog was a nuiscance but I would want to know. But I hate when the neighbors are pushy or beat around the bush. Our one neighbor was so indirect and passive about what she wanted that I felt like she was a manipulative b*#&h and now refuse to speak to her and avoid her presence whenever possible. Literally, if I see her, I turn my back and stare in the opposite direction. If she spoke to me, I wouldn't want to know what she has to say, and would end the conversation as abruptly as possible and walk off. Couple of times of that treatment, she knows she's persona non-grata. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2995
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 9:28 am: |
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We have a neighbor like this, though not as relentlessly. Wife isn't fond of the dog, and the dog in the house, so he puts it outside. Where it barks, and barks, and barks. Many neighbors tolerated it (I asked). I did a variation on the nap chat, which mostly worked. |
cicely moncrieff
Citizen
Username: Cicely_m
Post Number: 75
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 9:30 am: |
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Um, wow, alleygater, that's a bit harsh for someone who was probably just scared of seeming rude... |
Tuxedo
Citizen
Username: Tuxedo
Post Number: 75
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 9:31 am: |
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Alleygater: Was it over your dog? |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 2332
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 11:10 am: |
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No, over things she wanted me to do with my house to make her happy. |
Oldstone
Citizen
Username: Rogers4317
Post Number: 826
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 12:48 pm: |
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kibbegirl, that is a cute story about your dog barking at the wind, showing her the collars and her aboutface on the barking. it must make you smile...it did me. thankfully, my dogs aren't barking nuisances but i just have to smile when they are about to do something wrong and i clear my throat, they turn around and look at me sheepishly. they get it ! |
Tuxedo
Citizen
Username: Tuxedo
Post Number: 77
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 1:54 pm: |
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Believe it or not the dog perp is kept inside the house and it's still way annoying. I guess I should be glad that they don't leave him outside or I'd have to be put in the nut house.
But even so, we sit out in the back yard and you can hear the little devil...bark, bark, woof woof woof, bark. I'd rather the darn critter bark at something worthwhile than the shadows of his own feet.
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MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4244
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 7:00 pm: |
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Story of a very similar situation I found myself in recently (and something I've wanted to get off my chest on MOL for a very long time--that's how I know I spend too much time here  ):
As some may already know, we area away at my family vacation home in the woods on a lake in Pennsylvania. For years and years prior to this, we generally only came up on weekends (and not even all weekends) in the summer. When we're here we keep a very low profile and most folks probably wouldn't even know we were here if it weren't for the car parked in front of the house. We don't have lots of loud parties all hours of the day and night. We don't have dozens of cars parked all over. We don't generate piles of garbage. We don't do most of the things horrible neighbors will do. We have young children, they are in bed early, and we mostly just chill.
My dog isn't much of a barker and I've never had one complaint from one neighbor about him doing so in the entire 8 years we've lived in Maplewood. When he's up here, he mostly chills out with us. He's getting older, so most of his time is spent sleeping. EXCEPT when we go down by the water (which really is only a small percentage of the day). Then he goes absolutely bonkers, barking in hopes that SOMEONE will throw him a stick. Drives me a little batty and I start trying to think of how to make him stop.
The first week we're up here, I'm still trying to figure a way to get him to stop the crazy barking down by the water. We hadn't spent much time down there at all because the water was still really too cold. One afternoon, my two oldest go down to play by the water while the baby is napping and, of course, Buster goes with them. He loves to be with them, they have fun playing with him. They're down there for maybe 20 minutes. As they start to make their way back up to the house--and by now the dog is no longer barking--the biotch from next door calls me and says something like "My husband and I just can't tolerate that dog's INCESSANT barking!" (Now my definition of INCESSANT is 24/7 and we are nowhere close to this. Literally days go by when the dog doesn't make a sound!)
Brief history of these neighbors (and really our ONLY "next door" neighbor). They've owned their place maybe 15 years. I've hardly ever laid eyes on her and she has NEVER said a word to me. Her husband seems like a nice guy, we see him around and say "Hi, how are you" and all the neighborly things you say. Then, two summers ago, dopey, happy-go-lucky Buster runs next door to say hello to them on their deck and then came home. Not cool, yeah, but there are dogs roaming all over the place up here. Year round neighbors behind us have two dogs that go where ever they please. So, Biotch is on the phone to me about keeping my dog on my property, and if not then she'll contact whatever "authority." I say O.K., sorry about that. She attends the next Community Association meeting to whine about dogs being on a leash (something no one has EVER done up here. We're in the woods for Crissakes!) Everyone agrees, oh yeah, sounds good and NO ONE does it to this day!
Now, we go back to last summer. Biotch neighbor's adult children and thier young kids start showing up with some mutt named Waggles or some such annoying name, and the damn dog keeps coming on my property. Do you think ANYONE from that house was even paying attention? No, of course not! One time, Buster goes after him, and I say "hey, have at it buddy!" One time some 10- or 12-year-old kid comes running after it. Then the best one: one time, the damn dog comes over to our "front yard" when myself, my husband and my parents are on the deck and proceeds to take a sh*t right in front of us! I WAS LIVID! I wanted to walk right over and tell them to come clean it up. But everyone else (hubby, mom and dad--none of whom had had the pleasure of answering the phone the first time she called) told me to calm down, relax, "let's not start anything." And my father cleaned it up.
So here we are. Haven't even been here a week. You hardly ever see us or hear us. The dog barks for 20 minutes and she's up my a** again! Right away, my stress level skyrockets.
The rest of the conversation went something like this:
Me: "Well, he's not barking anymore."
Biotch: "Well, we have dogs visit us, and Karen and Ed have dogs and you NEVER hear them barking (pure bulldinky and, meanwhile, they had guests who had a dog the Monday of 4th of July weekend, that barked for quite some time, after 9 PM, when no one was home and it was alone on the deck).
Me: "Well, actually, that dog Waggles that visits you, came and took a poop on my lawn last summer!"
Biotch: COMPLETELY ignoring what I had just said "Well I'm afraid I'm going to have to contact the noise authority (or some such nonesense) if that dog doesn't stop barking!"
Me: "Well, that'd be a real neighborly thing for you to do. Thanks so much for calling!" and I hung up.
Needless to say I'm none too happy about the constant "harrassment" from this woman. So for the next couple days I let the damn dog bark all he wants. Then she sends the husband over (because she doesn't have the balls to do anything face to face), shortly after I have guests arrive, to talk about the dog's INCESSANT barking and his wife's thyroid condition and her medication and how they like to be up here and relax and enjoy the view and the quiet and take naps and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
That's when I told him (and where the whole point of this story come in), "had you come to me yesterday, BEFORE your wife called me on the phone acting like a complete b*tch and making threats, I would have been very recepetive to having a civilized conversation with you and reaching some kind of mutually agreeable solution. But I'm done! I'm beyong livid and am no longer capable of rational conversation on this issue. I'll do my best to keep the dog from barking."
I also told him to tell his wife to NEVER call me on the phone again, or I would consider it harrasment and take appropriate action.
So, long story short, you catch more bees with honey than you do with vinager. So an attempt at a nice, neighborly, polite, rational conversation is your first, best step. Then go from there.
(O.K., now I really need to get dinner!) |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 2343
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 11:40 pm: |
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That's awesome. Similar moral as my story but you got to have the big confrontation. I just was (and still am) passive aggressive. I'm sort of envious to be honest. |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4250
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 - 8:15 am: |
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True, but it took three years. Personally, I would have had the "big confrontation" last year when the dog sh*t in my yard, but everyone else seemed to think it was a bad idea. Considering how angry I was, they could have been right. Actually, after this last incident, I got mom's blessing to tell her off, if need be.
Another satisfying result of our conversation: The Biotch hangs out her laundry, granny panties and all, on a line between our house and theirs. They can't see it from their deck (or anywhere else in their house) but we have a perfect view of it from just about everywhere our deck. It's there for days on end, it's there when we have guests, often it's there when they're not. It's always bugged us, but it's always been our position "well, I guess we can live with it, so let's not start any trouble" (I love that "let's not start any trouble." Meanwhile the Biotch has no trouble whatsoever starting all kinds of trouble). So, during the course of my "conversation" with the husband I said "While we're on the subject of things we don't like, we absolutely hate looking at your laundry hanging on the line all the time. We're up here to enjoy the view, and we've gotta always be looking at your laundry! Why don't you hang it where you get to look at it all day."
I'm just waiting for their kids to come here with that dog again. I'll have no trouble "starting trouble" if it comes anywhere near my property. I'm actually hoping we have a repeat of the "sh*tting" incident so I can have the satisfaction of telling Biotch to come clean it up! Won't be her that does it though, I'm sure! |
Tuxedo
Citizen
Username: Tuxedo
Post Number: 80
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 - 9:01 am: |
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Meandtheboys: That neighbor seems to be completely intolerant of anything. I agree that one has to approach neighbors in a calm pleasant way. Getting nasty solves nothing.
Here's another example of where dealing direct, staying firm and calm worked for us.
One of our neighbors last year had an older son who moved back in with them. He proceeded to let his dog stay out in the back yard for hours, barking.
I had enough of it, so I politely knocked on the door to say, would you mind letting rover in the house, because he's barking alot?
The parent said, I'm sorry, yes, he's been bothering me too.
4 hours later, son comes to my house all defensive and a bit cocked about my complaint. He said this is Maplewood, dogs bark. I said yes, they do, but not for periods on end. The converstaion went on and on and I finally said to him, I deserve peace and quiet where I live too." I also told son that I was a direct person and didn't stab neighbors in the back and talk about them behind their backs. Since then, we haven't had any problems with that dog.
Dog owners, including myself, have to occasionally be reminded in a nonconfrontational and pleasant way when their dogs are annoying. |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4256
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 - 9:21 am: |
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If "completely intolerant of anything" means she is a miserable, unhappy biotch who probably needs to have something to complain about all the time, then you are absolutely right!
You were very nice to even entertain a conversation of any length with the son. I wouldn't have. But you're absolutely right. My position is that I have just as much right to be here in my house living my life, and don't feel the need to drastically alter the way I do things, or majorly inconvenience myself, just so the old folks can have the luxery of nodding off at any hour of the day, between the hours of 9 and 5 (now if the dog were barking INCESSANTLY between the hours of, say, 9 PM and 5 AM, that would be a completely different story). They could always drive down to the CVS and buy ear plugs, or go back home to their quiet little corner of Paramus, or they could sell their place and go buy another in the middle of the woods where there are NO neighbors or barking dogs or yelling children or loud boats to contend with. Their neighbor on the other side is elderly and in failing health. I'm hoping for a really big, loud group of teenagers to move in when the house finally changes hands!
As it stands now, I lock the poor dog in my bedroom with most of the windows closed and the radio on loud when we go down to the water. Of course, that upsets him, and there is some barking, but it's muffled inside the house, and not carried up clearly from the water's edge. Tried some behavior modification with yummy treats when we're down by the water, but that requires all of my time, energy and attention. Kind of hard when I have three kids in the water that also require all of my time, energy and attention. And I don't think a bark collar is going to help much once it gets wet in the lake. So, short of removing the dog's vocal cords or just having him euthanized, there's little else I can (or will) do about the situation.
Luckily I did say "I'll do my best to keep the dog from barking," NOT the dog will never bark again! |
tom
Citizen
Username: Tom
Post Number: 5335
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 - 9:52 am: |
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Sometimes owners are oblivious of how noisy and totally irritating little Spot or Rover can be. One day a month or so ago, a neighbor was out trimming her hedges. Visualize this, there's her yard, with a chain-link fence. Outside the fence is a tall line of privet, and then the sidewalk. She's on the sidewalk with the electric hedge trimmers, and yipper is in the yard going ballistic. Whenever the clippers are on yipper is throwing itself against the fence right in front of her barking, for as long as the clippers are on.
It's a very tall and a very long line of shrubs. It's a nice day, and I want to sit out on the deck and read the paper.
Finally after about a half hour of this I walked over and asked her to put the dog in. Even though the barking dog was just four feet from her, she seemed surprised; but she put it inside (thank you).
I love dogs, and a barking dog can serve a purpose -- if it barks at an appropriate threat. But you shouldn't have a continuously barking dog in your yard any more than you should have any anything else that constantly emits a loud meaningless noise. It's like those car alarms that go off every time the wind blows. Pure irritation, with no purpose. |
Tuxedo
Citizen
Username: Tuxedo
Post Number: 83
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006 - 1:07 pm: |
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I couldn't agree more tom. This neighbor of mine is a good neighbor. I'm hoping that my conversation with her doesn't alienate her, but I live here too. |
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