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Message |
    
colleen
Citizen
Username: Bean2005
Post Number: 49
Registered: 6-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 1:57 pm: | 
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I really don't need advise but totally need to vent.
We are outside doing yard work yesterday morning - starting at 7am. Our neighbor from across the street comes over (we only recently moved in) and is asking my husband a bunch of questions about his tools and the work we are doing on the house. During this time he proceeds to take 3 beers from his pockets and drink them (by 7:30am).
He then starts to go into the garage and pick things up. He goes home - comes back 10 minutes later with broken things that he wants my husband to fix (and more beer). Husband politely tells him he does not have the time and neighbor says thats ok I will leave it all here for you - oh and by the way - you said you would go to home depot for me. Husband again politely states that he never said that.
Well - this goes on until 11am!!!!! Husband is too nice and just goes about his business while the neighbor pounds beer and gets in his way (saying things like - I hope I dont fall in your driveway - how much insurance do you have?).
I am not so polite and wish to tell off said neighbor but husband will not let me.
UGH!
Mind you - since we have moved in a few months ago this neighbor has been brought home drunk by the cops a handful of times and rang our doorbell at 3am to say hi.
Thanks for letting me vent!!! |
eliz
Supporter
Username: Eliz
Post Number: 1662
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:27 pm: |
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OMG are you kidding???? Does he live alone? Is there a spouse you could talk to? Makes me appreciate my wacko neighbor - at least he keeps to his side of the fence... |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4325
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:38 pm: |
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Holy cow!
I say, if he continues doing this, someone needs to get firm and tell him he's not welcome and you won't be doing any chores or running any errands on his behalf. Certain people just really need to have the law laid down before they "get it!"
Or, at the very least, tell him you'd be happy to be neighborly, but only if he's stone cold sober. |
Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 4479
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:47 pm: |
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tell us where you live so that we can bring lawn chairs and watch.... |
Eats Shoots & Leaves
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 3573
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:50 pm: |
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Watch? I thought it might be you! |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 8970
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:54 pm: |
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There is no way to deal with this other than to be very clear about limits and unwillingness to tolerate this behavior.
It's likely that you are his new friends because none of the other neighbors are speaking with him. Ask around as to how others have handled it.
Return all his things. Just dump them in a box on his door step. The next time he approaches you, just say "Look, your behavior is unacceptable and we do not wish to socialize with you. Do not come into our yard anymore, do not ring our doorbell."
And the next time he does it drunk, call the cops and have him escorted home. If he comes over and makes statements about injuring himself on your property, call the cops. Make a report that he is threatening extortion (which he basically is) so that if he does do something insane, you have a record that he planned it.
Your husband's politeness is going to get you in a heap of trouble. It's not about telling him off, either. If he has an alcohol problem, there is no good way to handle him other than to make it clear that you will not be involved with him in any way. If he gets his act together and stops drinking, it will be up to him to make ammends with the neighbors. |
peteglider
Citizen
Username: Peteglider
Post Number: 2157
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:07 pm: |
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Greentree is right, if you don't set some boundries now with this guy -- it'll get worse. Really -- no ifs and buts, no wishy washiness. Firmly, politely bring back his stuff and get him to leave next time. (and be very thankful you're not related)
Pete
But Monster has an idea, this could be an interesting chapter in your book about the new neighborhood depending on how you play it!
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Newsteadmom
Citizen
Username: Newsteadmom
Post Number: 30
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:14 pm: |
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Colleen,
I read that you are not looking for advice, however, having lived next door to a real nut job, I would do EVERYTHING that greenetree wrote. Document all examples of his inappropriate behavior, esp. because he was "kidding" about falling down on your property!
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mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 6563
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:15 pm: |
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How did he fit three beers in his pockets? |
Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 12394
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:20 pm: |
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Cargo pants?
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K_soze
Citizen
Username: K_soze
Post Number: 677
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:22 pm: |
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Cargo pants, I do it all the time |
Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 4483
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:22 pm: |
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ES&L, never before noon, and usually not before four.... |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 15305
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:36 pm: |
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Man oh man. Truth really is stranger than fiction.
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colleen
Citizen
Username: Bean2005
Post Number: 50
Registered: 6-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:38 pm: |
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I will take up Greentree's advise - thanks. See - I have no problem saying something to him. My husband is just a sweet guy that would prefer not to unleash me on a neighbor. HA!
It would be so much more comical if it wasn't happening to us.
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Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 2463
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:59 pm: |
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Colleen, sounds to me like your husband is being perceived by this drunk to be a pushover and this guy is looking to see if he can captialize on that fact. I see no other way to interpret your story. This might be a matter for you husband to take care of. You guys might want to discuss what you feel is the right way to handle this situation (maybe like Greenetree suggested) and have your husband do the deed. |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4327
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:08 pm: |
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Seems to me, if Colleen is willing and able, she might as well go ahead. Doesn't sound like hubby really wants to. But somebody has to! |
Lord Pabulum
Citizen
Username: Lord_pabulum
Post Number: 30
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:12 pm: |
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How about you and the boys?
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MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4328
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:20 pm: |
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My "boys" are probably not the kind of "boys" you're thinking, Lord Pabulum.
I have my doubts a drunk would be easily intimadated by a 3, 5 and 7 year old. However, in 20 years or so, it could be an altogether different story! |
Soparents
Supporter
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 2671
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:23 pm: |
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Colleen -
This could be serious and greenetree has great points.
I would also consider having Dave move this to the blog section, as you documented his comments about insurance etc and this thread shows the date and time of entries and it is insurance on your part should anything happen, that he commented on this previously. If Dave will allow it to be a blog (is it possible, is it ethical to make it a blog Dave?) then this could be your online insurance.
Good luck with him - sorry that you have this issue. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 8972
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:25 pm: |
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I was thinking about Mem's question. If all 3 are open already, two can be carried via the "finger-hook" method in one hand while the one being consumed occupies the other. So, the real question is: how did he pick up broken things while holding all those beers?
Me& - I'm not so sure about that. Set all 3 loose on him at the same time, preferably when he's got a hangover. |
Lord Pabulum
Citizen
Username: Lord_pabulum
Post Number: 32
Registered: 7-2006
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:29 pm: |
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Oh, ok |
hch
Citizen
Username: Hch
Post Number: 341
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:38 pm: |
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Yard work at 7 am on a Sunday?  |
Dave
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 10491
Registered: 4-1997
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:41 pm: |
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Get a few friends to dress up in hazzmat suits and start exploring their yard with a metal detector. |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 2465
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 4:46 pm: |
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Actually HCH has a very good point. Maybe your drunken neighbor is telling you guys in a not so subtle way to NOT WAKE HIM UP so early. Are you guys making lots of yard noise? You realize you aren't allowed to make motorized noise before 8AM due to a town ordinance right? Having said that I was awoken at 7:30AM today by the water company. F#^%$%ers. Maybe this guy sees your excessive eagerness as an affront to his slovenliness and is just pushing you guys to see how far you can be pushed.
Meand, how else is the husband going to learn to not be a victim if the wife protects him all the time? |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4332
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 5:04 pm: |
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I don't see Colleen's husband as a "victim" here, nor do I see her speaking up as "protecting" him. He's just a guy who, for whatever reason, doesn't feel it's necessary to get tough with this guy. It's been my experience that a lot of men are like that. My husband is like that to a certain extent, under certain circumstances. Lot's of times he needs to reign me in, and most times that's a good thing. But this sounds like a situation where someone needs to put their foot down. If the drunk never comes over again, then nothing needs to be done. But if the behavior continues, it really needs to be stopped. I don't think it makes any difference who speaks to him, Colleen or her husband alone, or both of them together. Perhaps speaking to him might not even be the best idea. Perhaps, if Colleen and her husband are going to be documenting their experiences with this creep, a letter (with a copy in their "file") would be more pertinent. |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4333
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 5:05 pm: |
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Then again, Colleen wasn't really looking for any advice anyway!  |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 2467
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 5:17 pm: |
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I was the silly one who was making up this whole story in my head that the husband was a pushover and because of it was being victimized by the drunk neighbor. Which is why I suggested that the husband stand up to the nutjob. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 8978
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 5:34 pm: |
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If I get drunk and go harass my neighbor who blasts opera every weekend, do you think that he'd cut it out?
I mean, opera? Who the hell blasts opera? |
Aquaman
Supporter
Username: Aquaman
Post Number: 990
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 6:47 pm: |
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Colleen,
This is reality-show gold, we're talking 24K with options.
Cargo pants, beer and angry babes.
8 episodes with a second-season intervention weeper, easy.
Annoying neighbor = big bucks.
Have your girl PL my girl and let's talk.
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mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 6569
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 9:34 pm: |
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If he was wearing cargo pants, they would have to be really baggy to accomodate the width of three whole beers, like huge. Maybe he was wearing a fishing vest - can three beers fit in one? If he were wearing a fishing vest, then he certainly wasn't planning on fishing, because then there wouldn't be room for the fishing gear with all those beers. Why would he wear a fishing vest if he wasn't going fishing? Maybe he was carrying a large Man Bag with lots of pockets? Why didn't he just use a large paper bag?
Sheesh. I'm stumped.
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red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 6838
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 10:10 pm: |
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Leave it to MOL to figure out how the drunk carried three beers in his pockets!!
My friends gave us a very cool "bag" for lack of a better word, it is designed to put beers in all one on top of each other, with a carrying strap. |
Innisowen
Citizen
Username: Innisowen
Post Number: 2257
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 10:12 pm: |
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Well, it wasn't me carrying those beers.
The wife and I have been at our place in Vermont all week. But our neighbor here came over and dropped off tomatoes and cucumbers from her garden, and we all spotted the same black bear down in the woods earlier this week.
Different places, different neighbors. |
doulamomma
Citizen
Username: Doulamomma
Post Number: 1698
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 10:15 pm: |
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No red,
That was for a healthy liter of water! Sheesh |
daylaborer
Citizen
Username: Upondaroof
Post Number: 890
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 10:15 pm: |
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"If he were wearing a fishing vest, then he certainly wasn't planning on fishing, because then there wouldn't be room for the fishing gear with all those beers. Why would he wear a fishing vest if he wasn't going fishing?"
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mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 6571
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 10:26 pm: |
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Also, why was he drinking beer at 7:30 am? Isn't that a bit...rural? Maybe he ran out of vodka and tomato juice - did you forget to offer him some of your bloody marys?
The whole thing is just a bit odd.
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Innisowen
Citizen
Username: Innisowen
Post Number: 2259
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 10:43 pm: |
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If drinking at 7:30 AM is a bit rural, you should try breathing in on the elevators that go to the trading floors at a few Wall Street firms where I do business, at the same hour of the morning. |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 6573
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 10:55 pm: |
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innoswen,
We're talking about a Sunday, not a weekday! |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 4339
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:00 pm: |
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Bloody Mary's on a Sunday morning? I though Sunday mornings called for Mimosa's no? |
Innisowen
Citizen
Username: Innisowen
Post Number: 2262
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:03 pm: |
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Oh, Sunday???
Isn't 7:30 AM a bit late to be starting to imbibe? |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 8980
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:19 pm: |
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Not for mimosas.
The paper bag suggestion is not very practical. Those are strictly for commuter trains. It would throw off the whole balance of the neighborhood if people started carrying them around on Sunday mornings. |
Dave
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 10494
Registered: 4-1997
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:35 pm: |
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Oops. My post above was meant for K_Soze's thread. |
Glock 17
Citizen
Username: Glock17
Post Number: 1760
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:37 pm: |
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Mimosa is the building I live in on my campus |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 8985
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:37 pm: |
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I dunno, Dave. It makes sense here, too. They could collect lots of beer cans for the Fire Department..... |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 6583
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 15, 2006 - 12:15 am: |
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I'm back to the fishing vest thing. He most likely had plans to empty the vest by drinking the beers during his casual early Sunday visit chat (beer loaded vest was obviously a cry for help with lack of bloodies). Once the beers and bloodies were finished, he could go on to his fishing trip , AND get all his stuff fixed by by neighbor, as well as his Home Depot list.
Problem solved. |
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