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Message |
    
Duncan
Supporter
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 6526
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 8:33 pm: | 
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Why Guitars are better than Men:
Guitars don't snore.
Guitars never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
Guitars never try to show you off to their friends.
Guitars don't come home drunk after a night out with the other Guitars.
You don't have to praise a Guitar after playing it.
Guitars don't have to prove anything.
Guitars don't try to change you once you've bought them.
Second-hand Guitars don't go to see previous owners when you're out of town.
Guitars don't have egos.
You don't have to continually assure your Guitar that its string length is just right.
Your Guitar will never earn more than you do for the same job just because it's a Guitar.
Your Guitar never spends a "night out with the Guitars" and comes home with a strange rash on its fretboard.
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tabby
Citizen
Username: Tabby
Post Number: 318
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 9:47 pm: |
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Hi Duncan,
Years ago in college I got a list called "why cucumbers are better than men"-I still have it  |
Chasm
Citizen
Username: Chasm
Post Number: 339
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 11:41 pm: |
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REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN (then scroll down for more...)
1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.
REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS
1. Women are more fun when the power goes out
2. You can't get your guitar wet
3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
5. A guitar won't beg to be played
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8. Guitars aren't very aggressive
9. A guitar won't play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won't scratch *your* back
12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it
14. You can't play two guitars at once
15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)
16. It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
18. If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
19. You can't marry a rich guitar.
20. Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
21. Guitars don't taste very good.
22. A guitar won't give you head.
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