Moving to Maplewood and soooo scared

Log Out | Lost Password? | Topics | Search | Who's Online Contact | Register | My Profile | SO home | MOL home

Thread Originator Last Poster Posts Pages Last Post   Closed: New threads not accepted on this page

Author Message   Christina Stanley-Sa Citizen Username: Christinajames Post Number: 1 Registered: 11-2005 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 4:11 pm:        Hi, My husband and I are brooklyn natives. This will be our firt house (we just got married) and our first time living outside NYC. i love NYC but we were completely priced out. We looked to maplewood because of its diversity and its proximity to the city. My husband works in Midtown and I work in downtown brooklyn, my commute will be longer. im scared that i will feel lonely and sad in NJ becuase I will not be able to walk anywhere. im even afraid that the Jitney will stress me out.. Is this normal? We will be living right next door to the Clinton Middle scool on Union. thank you -Christina   Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 6760 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 4:27 pm:        Christina: I am a Brooklyn native and I do a lot of walking around town. I am not alone. Unlike many subuyrbs which are crisscrossed with major highways, Maplewood is very walker friendly. You should definitely give it a try. As far as the jitney is concerned, just think of it as being another bus -- as a Brooklynite you should be used to buses by now.   Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11298 Registered: 1-2003 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 5:19 pm:        You will be giving up the ability to drop out of your home and buying bagels and Korean food at 2am, but you get other things in exchange. I can't guarantee you will find it worthwhile, but certainly lots of us Maplewoodians who are also transplanted New Yorkers feel it is. I grew up in Manhattan and lived there until I was 26 years old. Maplewood is the first attractive place I've lived in. Coming home to all the greenery and attractive houses has a wonderful calming and cheering effect. Welcome!   Bob K Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 9945 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 6:23 pm:        Change is always a little bit scary. Getting used to new commuting patterns, where to grocery shop, do the drycleaning, etc. can be a little stressful. Think about joining the Newcomers Club to meet people and get a lot of tips on everything from pizza to plumbers. Welcome to Maplewood.   ceceliac Citizen Username: Ceceliac Post Number: 79 Registered: 3-2002 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 6:31 pm:        We moved here from Brooklyn three years ago and we were very nervous about leaving NYC and becoming suburbanites. I'm happy to report that we have no regrets at all. My husband's commute takes only a wee bit longer than his F train commute took. We're surrounded by other Brooklyn/NYC transplants and we've made lots of friends and definitely feel like we're part of a wonderful, caring, and even cool community! We have two kids, the oldest is a 1st grader at Clinton (which is an elementary, not a middle school) and we are extremely happy with the experience we've had there the past couple of years. Amazing families, wonderful staff, stimulating and creative environment, etc. It does take a while to get used to the lack of good take-out and the fact that things actually close at night, but the trade-offs were certainly worth it. And my daughter's bedroom is like a palace compared to the glorified closet she lived in during her first three years in Park Slope.   stefano Citizen Username: Stefano Post Number: 466 Registered: 2-2002 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 6:36 pm:        Divorce, sell the house, quit your job, move back to Brooklyn. (or not) welcome to our wacky town and it's sane online version. dr stefano   KRNL Citizen Username: Krnl Post Number: 13 Registered: 9-2005 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 6:37 pm:        Don't worry about not walking. Maplewood is a very walk friendly town (as long as you build up the stamina to cope with our hills). There are plenty of walking opportunities--to the train (about a 20 minute walk from your area), to downtown Maplewood or S. Orange, and to the Pathmark. If you love nature, there are many trails in S. Mountain Reservation. Enjoy the neighborhood. We've lived here for ages and never found another home in the area that tempted us to move.   Just The Aunt Supporter Username: Auntof13 Post Number: 3349 Registered: 1-2004 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 6:40 pm:        There are several MOL posters who live right near you. Maybe you could car pool to the train with one of them? I'm sure once they see your post they will introduce themselves to you. You'll be fine. A couple of families near me moved in arond the holidays. They had an 'Open House,' as a way to introduce themselves to the neighbors. My family moved here from Brooklyn more then 40 years ago...   ajc Citizen Username: Ajc Post Number: 4552 Registered: 9-2001 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 6:51 pm:        ...my daughter is looking to move to Brooklyn. Where were you and is your old place still available?   monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 1729 Registered: 7-2002 Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 9:21 pm:        I live around the corner and down the street on Garfield, there are a couple of other new residents On Union (right across from the school) that just moved from the city too.   Dego Diva Citizen Username: Fmingione Post Number: 669 Registered: 12-2003 Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 9:14 am:        I live not far from you, on Suffolk, and my husband and I are West Village transplants. We've lived here for two years - some things we love, some things we're still getting used to. One thing has been the hardest - the lack of good food choices compared to NYC, and after 9pm, forget it! But believe me, if you're both still working in NYC/Brooklyn, you're going to find that you'll have dinner in the city or meet up with old frineds often enough so that you won't miss it too much. But the thing that's been best is, besides living in a lovely town, there are also MANY interesting places to go exploring, all within a 20 minute drive in one direction or another. Seriously, I LOVE hopping in my car to go to a huge Italian specialty food store, or an awesome discount shoe warehouse, or a great mall, or to New Jersey's own Indian Village, just like on 6th Street. And don't worry, we do have really good bagels right here in town! Welcome to the neighborhood, and feel free to PL me if you need info/directions on anything in the area.   Smarty Jones Citizen Username: Birdstone Post Number: 39 Registered: 10-2005 Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 4:53 pm:        We too moved from the city, and I assure you your nervousness will subside when you meet your neighbors (from Brooklyn) and their neighbors (From Forest Hills) and their neighbors (From the UWS)....and so on...... you will get my point. We signed up for newcomers, and haven't had time to attend (one year flew by) because we've been so busy meeting people on our block and in the area.   Hank Zona Supporter Username: Hankzona Post Number: 4997 Registered: 3-2002 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 8:05 am:        Welcome to town...its nice to have actual real Brooklyn natives moving in...it's a warmer feeling for me since I grew up as a native Staten Islander, surrounded then by actual Brooklyn natives. Where you decide to live is a personal decision...so trust your instincts and dont be afraid of the choice you made. This is not a perfect town, but I firmly believe it's the right (and wonderful) place for me and my family...that's what matters to us. And if someone criticizes your choice to live here and tells you they live in some other perfect community, they are either lying to you or they don't get out much. Be active, get involved...reap the great things the community has to offer.   greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6317 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 8:07 am:        Don't worry about being scared. NY Magazine had an article a couple years ago with the results of a study indicating that it takes an average of 14 years for a former NYer to admit that they live in Jersey. So, you are normal.   mjh Supporter Username: Mjh Post Number: 333 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 8:17 am:        Greenetree: You've described by husband to a "T". I started correcting him publicly, so he finally admits to living in "Joizzy". BTW: It's not that he doesn't love Maplewood........   greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6320 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 9:52 am:        Maplewood isn't "Jersey". If you are a NYC transplant, you understand this.... When traveling, I will admit to being from the NY 'burbs.   LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1122 Registered: 10-2002 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:17 pm:        Greentree - that is SO true. I still always say I'm fron NY. I was recently on vacation and mentioned (reluctantly) that I lived in NJ (we were talking with a family originally from England, but they all now lived in various places from Australia to Atlanta) and one of them said "I love NJ". I looked at him with one brow on the upturn and said something to the effect of "very funny"... he then convinced me that he LOVES NJ - he's been working at a camp for troubled teens for the last 5 years or so and absolutely looks forward to coming back to NJ every year. I was shocked... I still say I'm from NY, but maybe now I'll slip in the "I live in NJ" more often now....Truth be told, I love Maplewood, so I guess I can spread the word that I live here...   kmk Supporter Username: Kmk Post Number: 869 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 4:35 pm:        Yeah - we have been here just over 10 years and I still say that we live just outside of NYC. When pressed I then say "Maplewood" and finally add NJ if they press further. We had kept (and sublet) our NYC apt. until 2 years ago. Up until that time I would say that we "Have an apartment in NYC." The half truth was that I never mentioned that we didn't actually live there! The truth is that I am still much more of a New Yorker than a Jersey girl. I am a Maplewood gal through and through and I can shop pretty well here. Ten years into this and I still barely know where Convent Station, Brick Township, Cedar Knolls, Tom's River, etc. are! I can tell you volumes about NYC though   Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11346 Registered: 1-2003 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 4:47 pm:        I moved from Manhattan (my birthplace) to Edison, NJ in 1987. So I've been a Jerzoid for a long time. My wife moved out to live with us in 2002, and we moved to Maplewood in 2003, so she's been here for a short time. When people ask where we're from, she says New York, not out of shame, but out of habit. At least I think that's what is going on. I'm used to saying Noo Joizy, and I know where most of the towns and landmarks are. I'm very aware of NJ's warts, and I also know a lot of good things about it. Take a look at wikipedia's article on New Jersey: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_jersey And the Maplewood article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maplewood%2C_NJ   Tom Kerns Supporter Username: Tom_kerns Post Number: 287 Registered: 6-2004 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 5:29 pm:        I was born in NJ, my parents were born in NJ, their parents were born in NJ and I even went away to college in NJ (Rowan Univ, fka Glassboro State). I am proud to say that I LOVE NJ. Just in case you forgot, Maplewood is located in the state of NJ. Nothing to be ashamed of folks. Now repeat after me.... I LOVE NEW JERSEY. Christina, welcome to Maplewood (and MOL) and welcome to NJ.   Mtam Citizen Username: Mtam Post Number: 3 Registered: 11-2005 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 9:57 pm:        I'm with kmk, I'm afraid--can't get New York out of my bones. I do love the trees, the house, coming home out of the train station and the life the kids are getting. But I barely know my way around the rest of the state and still am oriented to New York--and still do most of my shopping there and go in regularly for films and exhibits. I get spacey walking around a New Jersey mall and forget why I'm there. I think, if you're truly urban in habits, just making sure you get your dose of the city regularly, it can be a good balance. In fact, funnily enough, I'd say we're in Brooklyn more now visiting friends than we were when we lived on the UPW. In the summer I'm always happier I'm living out here--I don't miss the humidity or subway or grit in August.   Jonathan Ben-Asher Citizen Username: Jonathanba Post Number: 104 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 10:28 pm:        You are completely normal. Don't worry, I bet that, pretty soon, you'll love it here and will feel quite comfortable and happy. When my wife and I and our two kids moved here from Brooklyn in 1997, we had the same worries and fears. We were leaving behind a close-knit community in what was then a much less Soho-ified Park Slope. I was particuarly concerned, because I don't drive (don't see well enough to do that.) We have absolutely no regrets. We have met so many wonderful people, formed such good and close friendships, and feel very lucky to be here. It probably took about a year before we no longer felt like transplants. You know you are feeling part of the community when you start running into new friends at the pool or when you're shopping or walking around town. Find the like-minded. There are a lot of groups to help you do that. And you'll meet people on the train more frequently than you'd expect. (I work in downtown Manhattan and do that trip every day. My wife works in Newark and so has less of an opportunity to schmooze on her commute). I'm evangelical about Maplewood. Feel free to email me if you want more info - jb-a@bmbblaw.com. yours, Jonathan Ben-Asher   Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11365 Registered: 1-2003 Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 7:22 am:        That zombie-ish dizziness takes a few years to get over. It never completely goes away, because they want you to be that way in the big stores.   msuewillis Citizen Username: Msuewillis Post Number: 96 Registered: 7-2001 Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 9:05 am:        One thing about where Christina is moving is that it MAY actually be closer to South Orange Village and South Orange train station than to Maplewood Village. South Orange has a decent Indian restaurant and a really excellent Trinidad restaurant, a couple of good upscale Italian places and a movie theater/performance space under construction. So check out your map quest and think about coming down to SO! We're two towns but one community, IMHO. P.S. We moved from Park Slope...   aquaman Supporter Username: Aquaman Post Number: 620 Registered: 8-2001 Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 9:14 am:        ......singing..... I'm From New Jersey Written & Music by Red Mascara Verse I know of a state that's a perfect playland with white sandy beaches by the sea; With fun-filled mountains, lakes and parks, and folks with hospitality; With historic towns where battles were fought, and presidents have made their home; It's called New Jersey, and I toast and tout it wherever I may roam. 'Cause . . . First Chorus I'M FROM NEW JERSEY and I'm proud about it, I love the Garden State. I'M FROM NEW JERSEY and I want to shout it, I think it's simply great. All of the other states throughout the nation may mean a lot to some; But I wouldn't want another, Jersey is like no other, I'm glad that's where I'm from. Second Chorus If you want glamour, try Atlantic City or Wildwood by the sea; Then there is Trenton, Princeton, and Fort Monmouth, they all made history. Each little town has got that certain something, from High Point to Cape May; And some place like Mantoloking, Phillipsburg, or Hoboken will steal your heart away. or this song by the same name.... I'm From New Jersey Written & Performed by John Gorka I'm from New Jersey, I don't expect too much If the world ended today, I would adjust I'm from New Jersey, No I don't talk that way I watched too much TV, When I was young I'm from New Jersey, My mom's Italian I've read those mafia books, We don't belong There are girls from New Jersey, Who have that great big hair They're found in shopping malls, I will take you there I'm from New Jersey, It's not like Texas There is no mystery, I can't pretend I'm from New Jersey, It's like Ohio But even more so, Imagine that I know which exit. And where I'm bound The tolls on the parkway, They will slow you down New Jersey people, They will sur}prise you Cause they're not expected, To do too much They will try harder, They may go further Cause they never think. That they are good enough I'm from New Jersey, I don't expect too much If the world ended today, I would adjust I would adjust, I would adjust   Cleve Dark Citizen Username: Clevedark Post Number: 148 Registered: 2-2005 Posted on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 8:32 pm:        New Jersey is the cradle of civilization, yes, the fertile crescent of the western world.   Cleve Dark Citizen Username: Clevedark Post Number: 149 Registered: 2-2005 Posted on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 8:56 pm:        Or as my sainted mother-in-law says, "if New Jersey's so awful, why does everyone want to live here?" If you really want to be scared, move to Tampa! I have a dear friend who grew up in Manhattan, and before moving to Montclair she almost had a nervous breakdown. Two years later she said she felt she finally found her place in the world, had a large circle of friends and was extremely happy. Another woman I know who grew up in Manhattan moved to a bazillion dollar home in Summit, stayed a year and high-tailed it back. You never know....   extuscan Citizen Username: Extuscan Post Number: 552 Registered: 6-2001 Posted on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 9:24 am:        Well if you are printing NJ songs, you can't forget uncle floyd's.. Oh the factory smoke, will make you choke Deep in the Heart of Jersey The City rats run in big packs Deep in the Heart of Jersey The Pizza man says, "I no understand" Deep in the Heart of Jersey And route 17, the traffic there is mean Deep in the Heart of Jersey The city skies ain't fit for flies Deep in the Heart of Jersey The Parkway man takes a quarter from your hand Deep in the Heart of Jersey The dumps in June ain't like perfume Deep in the Heart of Jersey But it's my state and I think it's great Deep in the Heart of Jersey Way out west in wild new jersey Yippi Yi Yay!   anon Supporter Username: Anon Post Number: 2417 Registered: 6-2002 Posted on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 4:32 pm:        And when the warm weather comes again (yes it will!) don't go "to the beach". Go "down the shore".   Jonathan Teixeira Citizen Username: Jhntxr Post Number: 333 Registered: 10-2005 Posted on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 8:59 pm:        Why in the world would anyone be scared of moving to Maplewood ? Look at it this way , you can come home anytime of the night and drive right up to your driveway , park , and get in your home . I sure don't miss driving around the block at 4 in the morning looking for a god damn space to park . If you miss the hustle and bustle, and would like to walk on a crowded sidewalk , with lots of stores and people . Then take a walk down springfield ave towards Irvington , it looks a little like Brooklyn .   bottomline Citizen Username: Bottomline Post Number: 357 Registered: 8-2003 Posted on Monday, December 26, 2005 - 5:30 pm:        Here’s my favorite personal story about accepting New Jersey as my home. I moved here from Minnesota almost 30 years ago, to take my first job out of college. I worked for a large, multinational corporation, and after about two years they sent me on a temporary assignment to California for a little over a year. Because I knew I’d be returning here, I didn’t reregister my car when I moved. I really hadn’t stopped thinking of myself as a Minnesotan and now I was moving again. So there I was cruising around the San Francisco Bay area with New Jersey plates on my car. Within a few weeks I discovered a strange and fascinating sort of Jersey chauvinism. Complete strangers would come up to me and ask where in New Jersey I was from and tell me where in New Jersey they had come from. On average, I’d say this happened two or three times a month. This would typically occur in parking lots, where it was easy for someone to see my plates and then engage me in conversation. But it also happened sometimes when stopped at a red light, where the person in the next car would lean over and start babbling about Jersey. It even happened one day while traveling on Interstate-80, within view of San Francisco Bay -- the passenger in the car to my left rolled down the window, started yelling about New Jersey and gave me the thumbs-up sign. At the time, I was in a company office with a significant transient population. Many, like me, still had out of state plates on their cars. These included people from large-population states such as Texas, Florida, Michigan, Ohio and New York. I asked my colleagues if they had experienced the same show of home-state pride I had come to accept as routine. None of them had, except a guy from New York who had seen something like that only once in over a year. The first few months I lived in New Jersey I did like many of you, I told people I was from “the New York area.” But after returning from California I came to appreciate Jersey’s quirky yet amorphous sense of pride. Now when someone asks me where I’m from, I answer without hesitation, and I can still picture that crazy dude on Interstate-80, hanging out his window as we barreled down the highway side-by-side and giving me the thumbs-up because I had Jersey plates on my car 3,000 miles from home.   ffof Citizen Username: Ffof Post Number: 4261 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Monday, December 26, 2005 - 6:02 pm:        I say northern New Jersey   connied76 Citizen Username: Connied76 Post Number: 8 Registered: 1-2004 Posted on Sunday, January 8, 2006 - 9:58 pm:        If you aren't a native NYer, you will never understand why anyone would be 'afraid' of moving to Maplewood/SO. I don't think I'll ever be able to say 'NJ' when someone asks me where I am from. My husband and I moved from Brooklyn Heights about 2 1/2 years ago and were terrified of what life would have in store for us here. While there are some +s (such as multiple bathroosm, lots of storage space, lots of rooms to buy cool furniture for), NY is still in our hearts. When we go into NYC or back to Brooklyn, I'd be lying if I said we still didn't 'jones' for it. But if you have to end up in suburbia, this is a nice place to land with culture, diversity and good people around. When you get really lonely for NY, drive straight up SO Ave until you pass the Top apartments on your left. Turn around and drive down the hill and there she is like a beautiful, shining beacon And keep telling yourself, it will be okay.   The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1246 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Monday, January 9, 2006 - 5:18 pm:        Diva, you mentioned great bagels but didn't give the details. The best bagels in Maplewood....are....at.... TARA's DELI on Valley Rd. The Chateau is a nice place to be and the food is good but the bagels are bigger, chewier, more satisfying at TARA's.   Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11848 Registered: 1-2003 Posted on Monday, January 9, 2006 - 5:20 pm:        Do they have lox? Are they open on Sunday mornings?   The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1247 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Monday, January 9, 2006 - 5:31 pm:        Tom, you weezer, I love it when people ask questions when they know the answers full well. My point was that the bagels are superb at TARA's. You're right, they have no lox, no Sunday hours, no kibbitzing, no attitude behind the counter, no moody fat guys looking for someone more intersting to talk to, no incessant jabbering racket... ....but the bagels are very good if you want to take them home. And the coffee is excellent at TARA's - always fresh and a number of flavor choices. Coffee at the Chat is not their strongest offering.   Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11849 Registered: 1-2003 Posted on Monday, January 9, 2006 - 5:36 pm:        I have never been to Tara's! I asked in earnest. I went to Bagels 4 U in Shawt Hills once. The lady asked if she could help me. I said, "I know you. You work at the CVS Pharmacy counter!" She stared at me for a long time, saying nothing and waited for me to say, "uh sorry, I'll have three garlic bagels..." The folks at Tabatchniks are characters. I will miss them when they close, whenever that happens, but it surely will one day.   Spare_o Supporter Username: Spare_o Post Number: 339 Registered: 9-2003 Posted on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 1:54 pm:        When people ask where I am from I tell them I live in NJ but am from CA. Nothing to do with shame or embarassment of living in NJ. I just consider myself a native Californian transplanted to NJ. It's also a much better conversation starter in business meetings or other social situations where I don't know anyone.   Blue Heeler Citizen Username: Blueheeler Post Number: 36 Registered: 10-2005 Posted on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 8:36 pm:        bottomline, love your post! i'm currently on temporary assignment in chicago and have experienced the exact same thing, driving around with my jersey plates. i get stopped at least several times a month by ex-jerseyans, nostalgic, proud and happy to have a connection. i, too, used to say that i'm from the "New York City area," having lived in Brooklyn for 15 years, but, now, it's New Jersey all the way, baby! got that amorphous pride god, i'm homesick... blue heeler   Shawna Citizen Username: Lucies_mom Post Number: 78 Registered: 10-2005 Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 2:46 pm:        Did anyone catch the Daily Show ( or was it Colbert Report?) where they asked some NJ poitician, "so are you from the part of NJ that wishes it was NY, or the part that wishes it were Philly?" I nearly died laughing.   Jersey Boy Citizen Username: Jersey_boy Post Number: 32 Registered: 1-2006 Posted on Sunday, January 22, 2006 - 7:36 pm:        Steven Colbert -- lives in Upper Montclair... NEW JERSEY. Hello? Christina Stanley-Sa? Are you still here or did we scare you away?