| Author |
Message |
    
Brett Marksman
Citizen
Username: Brettster2067
Post Number: 1
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 3:06 pm: | 
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(sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies)
Come and listen to a story ‘bout a ShopRite store
The small South Orange grocery that went and shut its doors
The village folk said “we need a place to shop for food”
To which the Board responded with some bubblin’ crude
Snake oil, that is, malarkey. Calabrese tea.
Well the first thing you know, them goalposts got pushed back
Environmental stuff threw the start date way off track
Looks like the Board bit off way more than it could chew
Perhaps we need some folks in here who actually have a clue
Professionals, that is.
Real estate developers. Urban planners.
Our friend Prescription Bill keeps whistlin’ happy tunes
Blissfully relying on his mantra “Comin’ Soon”
After years and years of too much vacant space
How about a new Trustee to take happy Billy’s place?
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
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MHD
Citizen
Username: Mayhewdrive
Post Number: 3869
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 3:54 pm: |
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Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Bill
Used to just help customers with prescriptions to fill
Then one day he heard a voice from the Lord
Get involved with government and run for the Board
Trustees, that is. BOT.
Well, next thing you know 'ol Bill's the President
Ignoring, scolding 'n mocking the residents
He's got a vision they just don't understand
To knock down all buildings 'n expose the land
Empty lots, that is. Eyesores. Coming Soon.
'Ol Bill buys a mansion and drives a fancy car
No other pharmacist has ever gone so far
'cause his time will soon end on the BOT
And good 'ol Bill will be off to Germany.
With Sayid, that is.
Y'll come back now, ya hear.
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Pizzaz
Supporter
Username: Pizzaz
Post Number: 3459
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 4:33 pm: |
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Bravo, excellent.... for a first post Brett, you've outdone yourself! |
Kibbegirl
Citizen
Username: Kibbegirl
Post Number: 480
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 4:38 pm: |
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Bravo to you both! I love it! Too bad it's all true :-( |
jayjay
Citizen
Username: Jayjayp
Post Number: 579
Registered: 6-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 6:26 pm: |
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So the board buys a sculpture to put in the town
But they'll place it by the station when the 'zebo gets torn down
Its a "gift" with some strings, and it'll cost us a bunch
But hey its just our taxes, and the board is out to lunch
With developers that is. Millenium and such.
Well old Tau is a comin', big and black and huge in size
And Bill says that we need it, but its all a pack of lies
See, the Baird and library are replete with leaks and rot
Heck we can't even maintain all the buildings that we've got.
Village Hall that is. The house of responsible government.
So the citizens cry "foul" at the funding as it went.
"Its a grant. No, a bond. Hey, it won't cost you a cent."
Turns out the story as its told is not exactly true.
But like SOPAC and developments, that's really nothing new.
Same old story, that is.
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Lucy
Supporter
Username: Lucy
Post Number: 3427
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 - 9:54 pm: |
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Thanks for giving me a laugh and please keep the satire coming soon |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 1156
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 12:03 am: |
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You guys should rent a sound truck and drive around town performing your talking blues. I'd kick in for some of the cost. |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 346
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 8:15 am: |
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I will sing one of them to the board, but only when Guillermo is present.
Unless, by popular demand, I am urged to spare the viewing public.
What about the theme to Gilligan's Island?
Just sit right back and listen to a tale,
A tale of a tiny town.... |
MHD
Citizen
Username: Mayhewdrive
Post Number: 3872
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 10:04 am: |
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Just sit right back and listen to a tale,
A tale of a tiny town
It had no real government
It was just run by a clown.
His name was Bill and he would lie
He would lie constantly
The people were too busy paying high taxes
That they just couldn't see
(That they just couldn't see)
He turned the town into a pit
All they saw was "Coming Soon"
He called the residents spolied kids
He is such a bufoon.
Now he spends half a mil
For a statue called Tau
That the taxpayers don't desire
He tells them it's from a grant
Because he's a habitual liar.
(He's a habitual liar)
The BOT was filled with stories of thing they couldn't get right
with Beifus, and Shop Rite too,
SOPAC, and the Tau
Sayid, and his partner Bill
here in South Orange..... |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 350
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 11:10 am: |
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The Minnow would be lost,
The Minnow would be lost.
jd |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 1160
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 4:15 pm: |
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Street theater has often been a way to grab the attention of the public and focus it on particular issues. Here we have people writing trenchant verse about something which a lot of us want to stop. i.e. Tau. The weather is getting warmer. People are out on the streets and working in their gardens.
A sound truck campaign could bring all of this to the attention of people who are unaware of it, and maybe generate some more outrage. |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 353
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 4:32 pm: |
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Will anyone else volunteer to sing to the Board of Trustuslesstees?
jd |
Spitz
Supporter
Username: Doublea
Post Number: 1691
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, April 13, 2006 - 4:47 pm: |
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We have a volunteer: http://www.nakedcowboy.com/ |
MHD
Citizen
Username: Mayhewdrive
Post Number: 3882
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 14, 2006 - 10:34 am: |
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(to the tune of The Brady Bunch)
Here's the story of a New Jersey town
Which was drowning under piles of debt
There was Shop Rite, Beifus and SOPAC
Then they bought a statuette
Here's the story of a man named Bill
Who was busy with projects of his own
He was partners with Sayid
With too many conflicts to condone
Till the one day when the people woke up
and they decided to agree
That Bill should be recalled
and new leaders belong on the BOT
The BOT, The BOT
That's the way we took back the BOT |
Lucy
Supporter
Username: Lucy
Post Number: 3443
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 14, 2006 - 11:12 am: |
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Oh if wishes can come true! |
MHD
Citizen
Username: Mayhewdrive
Post Number: 3899
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 9:14 am: |
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Joel,
Will you be singing any of this songs at the Neighborhood Meeting on Wednesday night, or are you going to save it for a BOT Meeting when it will be televised and recorded forever?  |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 371
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 4:36 pm: |
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TV, bright lights, cameras, boos, and Calabrese calling the cops because he doesn't understand free speech.
jd |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 372
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 4:39 pm: |
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TV, bright lights, cameras, boos, and Calabrese calling the cops because he doesn't understand free speech.
jd |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 374
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 5:41 pm: |
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With apologies to the cast and crew of West Side Story, sung to the tune of Dear Office Krupke!!
A plea for Zacharias Moussaoui:
JAN VOGELSANG:
Dear kindly Leonie Brinkema,
You gotta understand,
It's just Zack's bringin' up-ma,
That gets him out of hand.
His mother, she's a junkie,
His father, he's a drunk.
Well by Allah, natcherly he's a punk!
Gee, dear Judge Leonie, Zack's very upset;
He never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get.
He ain't no mujahid,
He's misunderstood.
Deep down inside him there is good!
There is good!
There is good, there is good,
There is untapped good!
MOUSSAOUI'S LAWYERS:
That's a touchin' good story.
JAN VOGELSANG:
Lemme tell it to the world!
MOUSSAOUI'S LAWYERS:
Just tell it to the judge.
JAN VOGELSANG:
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
Zack's parents treated him rough.
With all their marijuana,
They wouldn't give him a puff.
They didn't wanna have him,
But somehow he was had.
Nushkur Allah! That's why he's so bad!
FABRICE GUILLEN:
Dear Judge Leonie, you're really a square;
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.
Zack's psychologic'ly disturbed!
MOUSSAOUI:
I ain't disturbed!
CHRISTOPHE MARGUEL:
He's disturbed, he's disturbed,
He's the most disturbed,
Like he's psychologic'ly disturbed.
JAMILLA MOUSSAOUI: (Spoken, as Judge) In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.
MOUSSAOUI'S LAWYERS: (Spoken) Hey, he's depraved on account he's deprived. So take him to a headshrinker.
VOGELSANG (Sings)
Zack's father is a bastard,
His ma's an S.O.B.
His grandpa's always plastered,
His grandma pushes tea.
His sister wears a mustache,
His brother wears a dress.
Alhamdulillah, that's why Zack's a mess!
MOUSSAOUI'S LAWYERS: (As Psychiatrist) Yes!
Dear Judge Leonie, you're really a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.
Society's played him a terrible trick,
And sociologic'ly he's sick!
MOUSSAOUI:
I ain't sick!
VOGELSANG AND THE LAWYERS:
He is sick, he is sick,
He is sick, sick, sick,
Like he's sociologically sick!
JAMILLA MOUSSAOUI:
In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Islamic jihad is purely a social disease!
MOUSSAOUI:
Hey, I ain't got no social disease!
VOGELSANG:
So take him to a social worker!
Dear kindly social worker,
They say go earn a buck.
Like be a soda jerker,
Which means like be a schmuck.
It's not he's anti-social,
He's only anti-work.
Subhan Allah! That's why he's a jerk!
DAVID NOVAK: (As Female Social Worker)
Eek!
Dear Judge Leonie, you've done it again.
This boy don't need a job, he needs life in the pen.
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, he's no good!
MOUSSAOUI:
I am good!
MOUSSAOUI'S LAWYERS:
He's no good, he's no good!
He's no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!
VOGELSANG:
The trouble is he's crazy.
The trouble is he drinks.
The trouble is he's lazy.
The trouble is he stinks.
DAVID NOVAK:
The trouble is he's growing.
The trouble is he's grown.
Leonie, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, dear Judge Leonie,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a jihadi with a social disease.
Gee, dear Judge Leonie,
What are we to do?
Gee, dear Judge Leonie,
It's up to you!
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SOrising
Citizen
Username: Sorising
Post Number: 307
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 7:05 pm: |
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That was fun, Joel. Keeping everything in perspective for us, are you? One of the embassy bombing defendants cut off the ear and stabbed the eye out of a guard and quickly got his own trial. I think it was another who had jumped out of the jury box early in the trial, the first to indict bin Laden in US courts, and rushed the small elderly judge, who had nimbly risen from his chair and gotten behind it. Several US marshals finally wrestled the guy down on the stairs to the raised bench, a few feet from his intended victim.
We ain't in Kansas anymore, Toto. |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 375
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 8:21 pm: |
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The guard who was stabbed is Pepe.
I can fill you in on details, like who was duty Lt., rules and regs. for key distribution and usage on terrorist unit detail, who failed to do job, what happened to him, who was trial sentencing judge, findings, MCC changes afterwards, etc. But, that is another thread.
And I am sure you know the details.
The parody shows the ridiculous nature of the defense show, citing the names of the performers.
It continued today.
Defense experts say he is paranoid schizophrenic.
I say he is just an Islamist.
The "illness" is his politico-religious belief.
Here, in River City, the illness is a thing of beauty: the BOT in action.
At least we can cure our problems peacefully, by election.
But, I predict that a few weeks before next election all roadblocks to construction will miraculously disappear, and the bevy of construction will stun all voters into forgetting the negligence and incompetence of the past six or more years, and after bowing down to Tau, and receiving personal electromagnetic voting instructions from Tau, all voters will approve the candidates selected by our Tau, or a reasonable copy thereof.
jd |
SOrising
Citizen
Username: Sorising
Post Number: 308
Registered: 2-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 11:39 pm: |
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I would like to know how Pepe is. Last I heard he was undergoing brain surgery. How is he now, if you know?
River City? |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 377
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:11 am: |
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The Music Man.
Everything's fine in River City.
I will get back with info about Pepe.
jd |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 382
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 4:19 pm: |
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BOP has stopped paying for his medications, medicals, a month ago, and is refusing to pay for improvements to his house, to allow him to get around.
I will find out if he gets SSI.
This info is from his sister.
Private line me, please.
jd
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MHD
Citizen
Username: Mayhewdrive
Post Number: 3969
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 5:12 pm: |
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Joel,
What happened to the singing last night? I was so looking forward to seeing your serenade, followed by Calabrese calling again to have you arrested. |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 408
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 9:41 pm: |
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They closed off meeting after I arrived, but before I could serenade them.
Rosen must have read MOL, is not a fan of my fine voice.
Does anyone have any Gilbert & Sullivan suggestions?
Librarylady: does the library have access to Gilbert & Sullivan libretti?
Which rhymes with Tonetti?
jd
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Dave
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 9290
Registered: 4-1997
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 9:56 pm: |
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I met a traveler from a New Jersey land
Who said: "Two vast and bottomless holes
Sink in South Orange... Near them, on the dirt,
Half sunk a stolid geometric form lies, whose bus shelter stance,
And bird splattered metal, and stitches of cold steel,
Tell that its sculptor well their passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on this lifeless thing,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
Our name is Board of Trustees, Drainers of Budgets,
Look on our works, ye Citizens, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and paved avenues stretch far away. |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 410
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 26, 2006 - 6:16 am: |
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Excellent!
And, recognized.
jd |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3840
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 26, 2006 - 11:13 am: |
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The threat of arrest doesn't scare Joel Dranove. Nothing does.
...except maybe a strong breeze...
-s. |
MHD
Citizen
Username: Mayhewdrive
Post Number: 3974
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 26, 2006 - 11:18 am: |
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Personal attacks are not allowed, Soda. Perhaps you need some more time off to finally finish your book. |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3848
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 27, 2006 - 11:29 am: |
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Personal attack!!!
Read your own screeds and zingers about the BOT & VP sometime, m'boy...
"Oh, Daaaaaaave... MHD want so see Joel arrested?"
This sort of heinous frippery must STOP! And I'm shocked... shocked!!!... to discover that there's PARODY taking place on this very thread. Round up The Usual Suspects...
-s.
BTW: They say that people always look older on TV, but you and Joel both look FABULOUS! Must be the lighting....
Oh, and "Yall come back now, Heah?"
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MHD
Citizen
Username: Mayhewdrive
Post Number: 3984
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 27, 2006 - 11:35 am: |
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So, how is that book coming anyway? Let's see you have been working on it since about 1999, right? I'm placing my money on the Beifus site to be finished first! |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3850
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 27, 2006 - 11:47 am: |
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When I said "come back", I didn't mean "right away". So literal...
-s. |
joel dranove
Citizen
Username: Jdranove
Post Number: 420
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, April 27, 2006 - 4:11 pm: |
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Definitely the lighting.
jd |
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