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Rick B
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 959
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:15 pm: | 
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OK...either our son (11 mos) is just sickly, our daycare is just germy, or we are just unlucky. Seven days ago we were infected with el stomach virus. Not only did we miss work because the boy was sick, but then we missed work because we got sick. Seven days later he has to come home because of a high fever (adn't can't go back) which means one of us is not at work.
so, one of us has to miss yet another day of work romorrow since he can't go back for 24 hours. I can't imagine a boss being more patient than ours, but really, we ask ourselves, what they heck do other people do? Do parents of young children in daycare really need to miss THIS much work??
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Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2623
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:22 pm: |
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Yep.
Both my girls have been in daycare since around 6mos. They both had ear tubes put in at around a year. My 1st had so many ear infections she lost weight between 9 and 12 mos because she wasn't eating. My 2nd got chicken pox (at Imagine That we think) at 8 mos.
Good news is now (at almost 5 and 2.5) their sicknesses are very mild. Runny nose, no fever.
Bad news is that my SAHM friends' kids get sick as much if not more than mine, because they have older sibs in preschool/elementary who get sick. Or because they actually like to leave the house on occasion and venture into the germ filled world.
Just wait until you get to public school which has tons of holidays and 1/2 days and a whole summer to deal with!
Hope your son is feeling better soon. |
snowmom
Citizen
Username: Snowmom
Post Number: 318
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:24 pm: |
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YES, at least the first yr of daycare or school, or whenever the first leap into the great pool of germs occurs.
He will recover and you will return to work; the 'tincture of time' is most needed. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2214
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:27 pm: |
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I had the same exact experience as Wendyn once my kid hit daycare at 14 mos. She had been in a homecare from 3 mos prior. It's a germy old world among kids. Now, though, my kid is 12 and is seldom ill, so I think there's something to the business of "getting it out of the way" when they're little. Husband and I traded off staying home, once in a blue some friend pitched in. And, sometimes, I lied and said I was sick when it was really the kid. Used a lot of vacation days as sick kid days... |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2641
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 4:27 pm: |
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yup.
he's probably not particularly sickly.
his daycare is probably not particularly germy.
and it could be you've just been unlucky--this year.
Hang in. It can only get better.
FWIW, I have a friend with a child in kindergarten, one in pre-school, and one who's 2, and she's been going through pretty much what you are. Seems like someone in her family has been sick almost constantly since before Christmas. Her husband is the only one who seems to have managed to escape getting sick. Another friend's child had a fever since Chrismas, and is just winding down a 7 day stay in the hospital with the "worst case of pnuemonia" her pediatrician has ever seen. And this is her second stay in the hospital in 2 weeks. Everyone in my house, including my husband and myself, were deathly ill pretty much at the same time last winter. This year, we've just had one bout with bronchitis in the baby. |
Rick B
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 960
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:00 pm: |
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I think part of it is just that both my wife and myself were such good employees at work. We were never sick and rarely if ever took a sick day. Now its constant sick days, unancticipated half day of vacation, coming in late, you name it.
Do employers anticipate this? I know I never would have (not ever having had children).
Last time I left work to pick the boy up (because of his 101.5 degree fever) the day care woman said, oh, don't you have someone he can stay with while your at work?
{frustration mounts...}Nope.
{Dialog in head begins}If i had someone who could he could bleepin stay with, I wouldn't be shelling out over a thousand bleepin dollars a month so he could bleepin stay with you. Not only does he get sick every other bleepin day with you, but when he can't come, you still charge me. Not only do you bleepin get him sick, and not refund me for the days he is not there, but i have to pay the bleepin doctor to look him over and tell me there is nothing she can bleepin do, but he can't go back to the daycare, so looks like you get to miss some more work.{Dialog in head ends}
Still not getting why people have multiples...
Does Calgon take men away without having to get in that big soapy bath??
Sam Adams...take me away!! |
Rick B
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 961
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:01 pm: |
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btw...i really do love my son, it may not be all that apparent, but whatever... |
snowmom
Citizen
Username: Snowmom
Post Number: 320
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:03 pm: |
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mjc
Citizen
Username: Mjc
Post Number: 1010
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:12 pm: |
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Rick, it's just wildly frustrating while it's going on, but the number of illnesses really does taper off pretty quickly (as in a couple of years).
Meanwhile, IS there someone who could take him at least sometimes? A relative? A sitter who's not interested in full-time work but has some daytime availability (maybe a college student, empty-nest mom, or mature h.s. student)? With a couple of people on your speed dial, maybe you could stay at work at least some of the hours. Could the daycare person refer you to a part-time caregiver, or to another family who knows someone?
Otherwise, all I can think of is wash-wash-wash your hands when he's sick, and wear a mask if you think it would help. Maybe you can at least keep from getting sick yourself.
 to dad, mom and tiny -
MC |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2218
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 5:32 pm: |
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I think employers vary on their understandingness. I was similar, but my boss at the time had a bunch of kids so he knew about illness -- just that he'd had a stay at home wife/mom so he didn't understand the need for parents to alternate on the staying home. Bosses who are in the same boat, or have been recently (both parents working) are generally the best on this stuff. Some of them even let you work from home and phone in for meetings which buttesses the case for how responsible you are.
Mostly you have the face that your life is not longer your own! I do think there are some services, staffed by LPNs and similar, that are available for a hefty fee to come to your house a sit for that extra day. Just not in the swim with them these days. |
marian
Citizen
Username: Marian
Post Number: 780
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 6:15 pm: |
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Rick,
Have you considered hiring a nanny? A full-time nanny would stay with your son even if he's sick, so there's a lot less missing work or having to leave early. Another advantage of having a nanny is that you and your wife would not have to deal with the stress and hassle of droping your son off at the center in the morning and having to rush out of work to pick him up.
When you compare the cost, a nanny could actually be a wash or just a little more expensive than full-time daycare for infants...
Just another childcare option to consider. We've been in shared nanny situation for almost three years now and it's really been amazing. Feel free to private line me if you want more info.
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Corey Fagundez
Citizen
Username: Eyetry
Post Number: 47
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 7:32 pm: |
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you might want to consider hiring someone who will watch your child in their home as I do. I babysit in my home for one family at a time...the child is treated the same as my own and the child just goes about my day with me and me with them I will watch the child if he or she is sick also. As parents we know when we need to take time to attend to our children...and a slight fever is not usually a reason. The child I watch is 28 months old and she has been ill only a few times...nothing I wasn't able to deal with either. I definitely think that if you have the option that homecare is better in the first years. A back up babysitter that the child is comfortable with is definitely a good suggestion. Good luck, hang tight..the ride definitely gets easier. Hope everyone is feeling better now. |
Cubby
Citizen
Username: Cubby
Post Number: 30
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 8:31 pm: |
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Babies in daycare get sick a lot is what I've been told and I learned it from experience. My daughter started daycare at 5 mos. and was sick constantly for about a year. We both caught about 1/2 of what she got and missed a lot of work. By age 3, she was hardly ever sick. I think whatever age kids start daycare or school at they get sick a lot for a year or 2. Personally, I also believe its best to be with your child if they're really sick, at least whenever its possible. Good luck! Things will improve. |
parkah
Citizen
Username: Parkah
Post Number: 158
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 9:22 pm: |
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yep rick... welcome to being a parent.
your story/situation is not unique. once enrolled in daycare, our boy was constantly sick for the first 6 months or so. everything from pink eye to the stomach flu.
i was a contractor/freelancer for part of that time, but ended up having to take a full-time job just so i could have paid sick/vacation days to devote to staying home with my son. when i decided to go full-time, my criteria for choosing a company was not based on the type of work, or location, etc... it was based solely on the fact that my boss and his boss both had young kids. now when i'm forced to take a day off, i'm paid for that day and there is understanding/compassion from my boss.
if your boss doesn't have kids, you may get that "look" when you ask for another day off. best thing to do is to explain your position to him/her and do the best you can. if you get your work done on time, who cares if you have to take days off here and there. keep reminding yourself what's important... it's only a job.
others have suggested going the nanny route, which is wise if you can afford it. keep in mind though, having a nanny doesn't mean your child will catch any fewer illnesses. my boss's boss employs a nanny and his daughter has as many fevers as my son.
if it makes you feel any better... the one upside to having your son in daycare and exposing him to all those germs is that his immune system is getting incredibly strong. and sooner or later, you'll notice a drop in how often your son gets sick. until that time, remember that sam adams is a cure-all.
best. |
Reesa
Citizen
Username: Reesa
Post Number: 102
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 10:31 pm: |
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we have had a similar experience since our daughter started daycare at 8 mos (she's 12 mos now). She's gotten multiple colds which have turned into ear infections and also bronchiolitis (not fun at all - included an emergency room visit for wheezing). We have recently taken her to the acupuncturist that I see and we are using a variety of herbs/ homeopathics prophylactically, which (fingers crossed) seem to be helping. I also have her taking 1 tsp a day of cod liver oil. |
Sau
Citizen
Username: Sau
Post Number: 38
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 10:33 pm: |
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I've heard it said that some parents dose their kids with Tylenol, drop them off, and work extra diligently until the post-nap call comes about the fever.
Not that we'd ever do that. |
sac
Supporter
Username: Sac
Post Number: 3032
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 11:05 pm: |
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Summit Childcare used to have a sick child facility (called "Sniffles") which was great! It was open to families who did not use Summit regularly, although it cost more in that case. I think we paid about twice as much as our regular child care cost, but when we needed it, it was a godsend! However, I don't think they still have that service, unfortunately.
Corporate childcare referral services are not unusual these days ... That's how we found Sniffles at the time. And in that process, I know that I also saw reference to several other sick child care services which may still exist, but I don't have the information any more. If your employer (or the employer of a friend, perhaps) has a child care referral service, you might want to explore that to see if sick child care is included in their listings.
Good luck!
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Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 11958
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 7:29 am: |
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Babies carry antibodies their mothers gave them in utero. They run out at around 11 months. Then they get sick a lot, especially in the first year.
It does make sense to try to work out a reciprocal deal with a friend, relative, neighbor. But it does hurt when an employer or day care provider asks if you've managed to do this. My boss told me I shouldn't take so much time off and should rely more on my wife or mother in law. That really cheesed me off. This was when my daughter was your son's age.
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Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2220
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 8:42 am: |
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Hey, at least he didn't tell you you didn't belong in the workplace! I've had that one... |
Rick B
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 967
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 12:22 pm: |
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Thanks everyone for your advice and empathy! (sam adams took me far away and i recovered)
Both of our bosses (neither of which have kids) have been more than understanding. (so far) Hopefully it continues! |
chroma
Citizen
Username: Chroma
Post Number: 15
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 8:11 am: |
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We noticed some real improvement in our kids' winter health when we did two things: 1) we started keeping clementines in the house at all times. (A basket in the kitchen, one on the coffee table in the tv room, etc. Fun to peel, sweet to eat) 2) We got those funny liquid soaps with the cartoon characters inside that smell like watermelon or bubble gum, and put it in the kids' bathroom. We noticed that they started to wash their hands a lot, which was the idea.
Hope it helps... |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2680
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 8:14 am: |
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Both really great ideas chroma (although clementines in the TV room sounds like major disaster to me), except I don't think they are particularly applicable to 11-month-olds--which is the age of Rick B's son! |
Handygirl
Citizen
Username: Handygirl
Post Number: 509
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 11:32 am: |
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Rick - I feel for you. Both of my kids have been in daycare (now 3 and 5 1/2 months) since they were each about 4 months old. My daughter was stay at home sick about once a month for the first year and a half. Since then, she has been sick once. So, it gets better. THe problem is that, now that we have a 5 1/2 month old, we get to go through it again. We alternate who stays home and we can both do some work from home when necessary. We also have a mother-in-law who can help out a little bit.
Also, I'll just note for the anti-daycare people out there, that the childrem of my friends who are SAHMs seem to get sick almost as much (if not the same). However, if you have a particularly sensitive kid, who just gets sick more often than normal, it makes a lot of sense to come up with a back-up child care scenario, or do a nanny for the first year or so. That way, at least you won't have to miss work.
Good luck man. |
moving soon
Citizen
Username: Movingsoon
Post Number: 61
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 4:49 pm: |
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Tried everything to reduce colds/etc., and while we're all desperate to prevent these things, I feel like it's mostly out of our control.
The good news: for our family, it's gotten better as kids have gotten older. And it has made me more appreciative of the healthy times. Keep the faith! |
Jersey Boy
Citizen
Username: Jersey_boy
Post Number: 26
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 8:58 pm: |
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Bad news. The second kid gets sick earlier. But the cost of two in day care is close to the cost of a nanny. Have you considered raising your child in a bubble. It worked for John Travolta. Sort of. |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2711
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 10:24 am: |
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Yes, Jersey Boy, the second (and third) kid get sick earlier, but it has been my experience that each subsequent kid gets sick less often. Not sure why that is, but that's how it's worked out for me.
Now, my kids, 7, 5, and 2 are rarely sick (knock on wood), and the baby has been sick a lot less often than my oldest was when he was little. |
Jenny
Citizen
Username: Jenjen
Post Number: 57
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 10:50 am: |
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Just wanted to add that it REALLY does build up their immune system. My son was in daycare from age 10 weeks to 2 1/2 years for 3/4 time. He was sick at least every month if not once a month for the first 2 years. But now that he is 3 and in preschool, I'm finding that he's not getting a lot of the colds the other kids are bringing to and/or getting at school.
Our family doctor always told us this would happen but we never believed him. Our son has built up an immune system to a lot of the smaller colds and viruses brought to school. |
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