| Author |
Message |
    
extuscan
Citizen
Username: Extuscan
Post Number: 598
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 1, 2006 - 3:22 pm: | 
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... and I have no idea who to address the card to. Family of ___ ___ ? I'm young enough that this if the first time I've needed to send a card.
-John |
The Libertarian
Citizen
Username: Local_1_crew
Post Number: 1497
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 1, 2006 - 3:30 pm: |
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send addressed to the spouse. if their isnt one, send it to the parents. if they had adult kids make it out to them.
Complaining isnt activism.
stop bitching on the internet and do something about it!
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greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 6693
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 1, 2006 - 3:42 pm: |
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You can send it to Mrs. John Smith or John Smith if this is an unmarried partner/spouse.
I'd address it to whichever family member lives at the address you are sending the card.
In the body of the note, write:
Dear Mrs. Smith, I want you know how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your {insert relationship of deceased here}. Insert something else personal here. My thoughts are with you and the entire Smith family in this difficult time.
If you don't know the family particularly well, make sure to mention the relatioship: My mother told me about the loss of your father; John and I worked together at XXX.
If you are familiar with Mrs. Smith, by all means, use her first name. Stock condolence cards are actually not quite proper etiquette. You are writing a note to convey your sympathy on their loss of this very special, unique individual in their lives. So, a rote sentiment doesn't really speak from the heart. However, many, many people find it difficult to write these notes, much to the benefit of Hallmark, et. al. So, if you find that it is awkward, send the card, but be sure to write something personal inside, not just sign your name.
If you want to make a go of writing a personal note and skipping the card, remember that it doesn't need to be long nor a poignant, insightful treatise. A simple "sorry for you loss, thoughts are with you" will do. If you knew the family well or something in particular about the person, you can add something personal: I hope that in the days to come, the memory of his hearty laugh brings you some comfort.
There aren't words to ease a family's pain in times like these, but knowing that the person was thought of enough for someone to send a note/card does bring comfort. |
Yarmouth blue
Citizen
Username: Yarmouth_blue
Post Number: 11
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 1, 2006 - 9:19 pm: |
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Greenetree is right on; having experienced a big loss recently I can attest to her good advice. A short note saying something like "I'm so sorry and I'm thinking of you and yoru family" means a lot, even if you might not know the adressee. I know it can feel awkward to write to someone you don't know at such a painful time, but it truly means so much. |
CFA
Citizen
Username: Cfa
Post Number: 1560
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, February 2, 2006 - 5:52 am: |
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Or, just wait a few weeks and give them a phone call. An ex co-worker of mine lost her son. He was 20. I felt a phone call was much better than a card. I guess it would depend on the circumstance. |
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