| Author | Message | ||
     LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1216 Registered: 10-2002  |
Twokitties -- LOVE that one. | ||
| Lydia Supporter Username: Lydial Post Number: 1624 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las - If you think he was looking at you, and you're interested, stop by on your way back (that's key, don't look too eager) from the bathroom and say something brilliant like, "Have we met? You look really familiar" - if he's interested he'll try to find common ground, if he's not, he'll say "I don't think so" You didn't risk a big dumppage, and if he's not interested, he won't even register that you were using a line. Oh, and the 3 cats thing? Keep that your little secret and let him figure it out once he's smitten.  | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 1144 Registered: 10-2004 |
There are TONS of books, tv shows and online articles on the art of flirting. You need to do those totally stupid and yet quite effective things that you tease the tarty girls for doing. Such as, giggling with that high pitched voice, running your hands in your hair as you stare at him across the room, as you talk to him you toss your hair with your hand, you twirl your hair in your fingers and loads of other cliche things. But the reason why they are cliches is because they totally work. They always have, and they always will. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 868 Registered: 10-2003 |
So I went back to the restuarant and asked the waitress about the man the other night. She asked the owner who asked his wife who came from somewhere to tell me...he's married. Next! Of course, I will use all of your advices at some time in the future, as I am sure I will again imagine a man is sort of staring at me from across a crowded room. If so, I will whip out this thread and look up what to do. Lynn | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 949 Registered: 11-2001 |
Good for you for taking that step! Incidentally, just because he is married does not preclude the fact that he was, in fact, looking.  | ||
| The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1346 Registered: 11-2004  |
No sh*t, Sherlock.... | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 951 Registered: 11-2001 |
Mr. T, that was not very soulful of you.  | ||
| Michael K. Mc Kell Citizen Username: Greenerose Post Number: 831 Registered: 9-2003 |
MPOL DATING God help us all. Michael K. Mc Kell | ||
| Lydia Supporter Username: Lydial Post Number: 1629 Registered: 5-2001 |
Lynn, I couldn't disagree with Alley Gator more - NEVER play games like talking baby talk, twirling your hair and other cliches, you'll just attract dorks who want women to act like widdle girls. The best thing to do is what you're doing - keep scanning the room and surround yourself with real friends so you are having a good time with or without a man. Laughing - I mean really laughing and enjoying yourself attracts all the right people to you. And you have a beautiful smile and you laugh, so it's just a matter of time before everything comes together. | ||
| The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1347 Registered: 11-2004 |
Oh, ess, what I meant was, OF COURSE just because he is married does not preclude the fact that he was, in fact, looking. | ||
| Carrie Avery Citizen Username: Carrie33 Post Number: 1293 Registered: 1-2005  |
Oh,yes,all good ideas, some real funny, too. I might have slipped him a note on a napkin on my way back from the bathroom or bar with my number on it with a small saying like: " I don't normally do this, but I'm thinking we might hit it off, call me sometime" This way there is no imbarressment and you don't have to ditch your girlfriend who you came with.Worse case scenerio he doesn't call. Brave yes, but if I were single it might be fun. | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 952 Registered: 11-2001 |
Thanks, Mr. T. You are soulful once again. | ||
| Carrie Avery Citizen Username: Carrie33 Post Number: 1294 Registered: 1-2005 |
Yes, Ess, just because someone is married, doesn't mean they are dead. Looking at someone else is what makes us feel vital and alive.Being looked at is what makes us feel attractive and desired. Feeling soulful is where we feel the need to question why. Just enjoy being human and don't question it, unless of course, you're married and wonder why. | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 953 Registered: 11-2001 |
Thanks Carrie. That was very enlightening. You clearly know what you are talking about. | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 1146 Registered: 10-2004 |
Lydia, whether you disagree or not does not change the fact that men and women are doing these things all the time whether they are conscious of them or not. They are part of the ritual and they happen. I don't feel that it's a game at all. It is a usually an unconscious thing that people are doing that let's the other person know that they are interested. If they don't work for you, or you are more evolved then the rest of us, then fine don't use them. But I guarantee you most people are using these techniques whether they realize or not. Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. -Benjamin Franklin | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 54 Registered: 12-2005 |
The most important thing I've found is not to project desparation. Or neediness. Total turnoff. Men want someone who they think won't be a hassle. Once you snare them and they get you pregnant, then you can let your real self out. The other is to wear really hot boots, really high stockings, and very short skirts that allow for about 6 inches between end of shirt and begining of stocking. And a tattoo on the inside of your thigh, just barely projecting out of the bottom of the skirt. Makes men interested to see where it leads. And it provides a topic of conversation. Like "Hey, I was checking out your thighs, and noticed that really cool tat. Where did you get that?" | ||
| slipknot (slippy) Citizen Username: Zotts Post Number: 234 Registered: 7-2004  |
yeah that's classy. Doesn't project desperation at all. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 871 Registered: 10-2003 |
Okay, all: Eyes on the prize, here. We're just trying to figure out how this hapless widow can talk to a man without stumbling all over the place. It's all good advice. Lynn | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 55 Registered: 12-2005 |
It doesn't project desparate. It projects "available for home consumption." Men like that. | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 56 Registered: 12-2005 |
And before anyone jumps on me, let me remind you that LAS was looking for tips on how to pick up a man, not on how to find a soulmate. My guess is that she is, at this point, more interested in a good flattening that in meeting someone seriously. | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 58 Registered: 12-2005 |
And before anyone jumps on me, let me remind you that LAS was looking for tips on how to pick up a man, not on how to find a soulmate. My guess is that she is, at this point, more interested in a good flattening that in meeting someone seriously. | ||
| Meandtheboys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 2830 Registered: 12-2004  |
Found this: Should You Ask Him Out? Brought to you by Amanda May and Match.com! You've had a major crush on your best friend's cute co-worker for months, or maybe you've got your eye on that guy you see ordering a chai latte at your local coffee house most weekday mornings. Should you bat your eyes and hope he gets the point, or should you just ask him out already? While you've probably heard plenty of conflicting opinions from everyone--your pals, your mom, even that book The Rules--we decided to let the voices that really count weigh in: That's right, let's hear it from the men. And the results are overwhelming: Nearly 75 percent of the 7,000 guys polled by Happen/Match.com say they would love, love, love for a woman to suggest they get together some time. Another 16 percent said that they wouldn't mind being asked out, as long as the woman was subtle about it. Fewer than 10 percent of those polled said they prefer to do the asking. Whatever happened to men digging the thrill of the chase? "A woman who asks a man out is very attractive," explains Laurie Puhn, J.D., Happen's communication expert and author of Instant Persuasion. "She's sending the guy a signal that says, 'I'm confident, independent, and not afraid of failure.' For most men, that's the kind of woman they want to date." So if you want to turn the tables and take the plunge, Puhn advises being upfront, but casual. "If you're going to do it, just do it," she recommends. "Propose a specific plan. Say, 'Hey, would you like to have a drink with me this weekend?'" Odds are, he'll be flattered--and will say yes. Amanda May is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn, NY, who's written for Redbook and other publications. | ||
| The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1350 Registered: 11-2004 |
flattening? That's a term with which even *I'M* not familiar. Fight the Power, was that a typo or some new sexual slang? | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1221 Registered: 10-2002 |
I only asked a guy out once in my life and I was 11 years old at the time. I had such a crush on him and I asked him to go to the town fireman's carnival with me......he actually said he'd "have to get back to me"...ugh. He ended up saying No - I think he said his mom told him he was too young to date (which we of course were)... He was the cutest little thing - Irish as they come with bleach blond hair and blue eyes But...I did end up dating him later in life when I was around 20. Didn't last, but hey, he eventually said yes... I still don't know how men go through life enduring the "asking" responsibility. I don't think I could take that much rejection. So, I would agree with Me's article - men must find it kind of a relief that someone else is doing the asking. It's something unique that's bound to spark the interest of most men. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 875 Registered: 10-2003 |
I can be pretty candid. I would ask a man out. I just need to find someone to ask... Lynn | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 59 Registered: 12-2005 |
Mr. T: I guess you are just not to hip on the new lingo. Flattening, like having all of the energy being squeezed out of you (and not just squeezed into you), being so ravaged that you are exhausted, emptied, "flattened". No room for thought, or worry. | ||
| The Soulful Mr T Citizen Username: Howardt Post Number: 1352 Registered: 11-2004 |
I can't tell if you're telling the truth or you're puttin' me on.... | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 60 Registered: 12-2005 |
Don't question my truthiness. I could use some flattening myself. But all I got is fattening. | ||
| Da Lat Citizen Username: Sidrn Post Number: 166 Registered: 6-2005 |
"One can never get enough flattening!" -- Not Confucius but a man almost as wise. | ||
| Miss L Toe Citizen Username: Miss_l_toe Post Number: 447 Registered: 10-2003 |
las; I bought a copy of the February edition of "NJ Monthly" in ShopRite today and they have a large article (5 pages) on being single in the suburbs and how to find someone. It might be of interest to you to buy the magazine, but here's a short excerpt from it: http://www.njmonthly.com/issues/feb06/single.htm Going slighty off-topic, there seems to be the trend that quite a number of single people in their late twenties and thirties whom are living with their parents in the NY Metro area.....presumably because it's cheaper than paying rent on an apartment or taking on a mortgage? A divorced friend has recently hooked up with such a bachelor who lives locally with his mom (who is being kept in the dark about it - she presumably wouldn't like him dating a single parent I guess). Has anyone else noticed this trend - and is it off-putting? Made In England | ||
| Flying_char Citizen Username: Flying_char Post Number: 99 Registered: 8-2005 |
When you find out how to pick up a man, call me and I will pick up one with you :-) | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 61 Registered: 12-2005 |
NOthing like a double flattening. Like a double latte, but without the cream. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 12255 Registered: 1-2003  |
I guess a double flattening would eliminate the need for a bra. "mem's signature is trendier than mine." | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 975 Registered: 11-2001 |
I'm still trying to work through the "without the cream" reference. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1701 Registered: 8-2003  |
yeah how's that better? | ||
| Fight the power Citizen Username: Tookiew Post Number: 62 Registered: 12-2005 |
Ooops. I forgot how dirty minded this board is. Umm, uh, never mind. [Blushes] | ||
| Carrie Avery Citizen Username: Carrie33 Post Number: 1295 Registered: 1-2005 |
Yes, I have also noticed that alot of people I have come across between 25-35 are still cohabitating with the folks. One in fact, is in her mid 40's. Perhaps it is simply they are too lazy to get their own s--- together? Perhaps they are also paying rent at home. Perhaps they are taking care of their elder parents. In any case, if it is for the right reasons and they do the right thing, ( and not be lazy) I don't see anything wrong with it. Personally, most our 40- plus friends would never think of it as normal behaviour, but my husband thinks that 18 is a perfect age to send them on their way. I do have to agree. We have a long way to go, but in most cases, I am sure, parents, at that time, are ready for their "quiet time" | ||
| aquaman Supporter Username: Aquaman Post Number: 694 Registered: 8-2001 |
Carrie - "Yes, I have also noticed that alot of people I have come across between 25-35 are still cohabitating with the folks." Ahem, pretty sure cohabitating with your parents is illegal in all the blue states, and most of the red. P.S. "A lot" is two words. Thankey and You're Welcome. | ||
| Meandtheboys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 2858 Registered: 12-2004 |
Ah, where would all of us poor idiots be without watertroll to follow us around and correct us--being that he is of superior intelligence to the rest of the world. Cohabiting can also mean: "To coexist, as animals of different species." So it doesn't necessarily have to have a sexual connotation. But I'm sure Carrie is grateful for your guidance! | ||
| aquaman Supporter Username: Aquaman Post Number: 695 Registered: 8-2001 |
Meandtheboys, "Cohabit" according to the American Heritage dictionary: (ko-hab-it) To live together in a sexual relationship when not legally married. [Late Latin cohabitare : co. together + habitare, to inhabit (see habitat).] - co-hab'-ta'tion n. Now don't make me type out anything again from a dictionary. Further, please stop calling me names. Thankey. |
