Stealing & Smelly co-workers.

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Author Message   crossroads Citizen Username: Crossroads Post Number: 119 Registered: 12-2001 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 10:03 am:        I work in a 24/7 office. There are 9 of us that rotate shifts. One co-worker smells like an old hamper. I keep the windows open and circulate the air with the AC system even though it’s now 34 degrees outside. I've mentioned this problem to our supervisor and the HR department with no results. There is another co-worker that is stealing time. She habitually arrives to work late, but does not mark the tardiness on her timesheet. She is stealing hundreds of hours from the company. I want to confront them both, but I know there will be repercussions. Any suggestions?   las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 896 Registered: 10-2003 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 10:15 am:        Unless you are a supervisor to Ms. Tardy, I don't think you can say something. You did all you can do by informing HR - it is now HR's responsibility. With regard to Stinky, if you don't care about this person liking you or not, just be crass and say s/he smells like a hamper does s/he want you to buy him some laundry soap? If this person doesn't care enough to wash his own clothes, don't worry about insulting him.   dave23 Citizen Username: Dave23 Post Number: 1310 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 10:27 am:        I had a coworker who had fairly consistent BO. Our supervisor brought him in and gently told him that he occasionally noticed some body odor and that he thought that he'd like to know. He kept it in very nice terms and did whatever he could to keep my coworker from getting defensive. It worked. With all due respect, I wouldn't follow las's advice regarding the smelly guy, unless you want a smelly enemy working at your side. If your supervisor won't address this very delicate issue and you are ready to, do so with the utmost sensitivity. It may not work, but it's the only way it could work   LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1248 Registered: 10-2002 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 10:29 am:        It's unfortunate that your boss won't do anything about the smelly colleague because I really believe that's where the message should come from, not his/her peers. However, since they won't do anything, I would just try to have the conversation in as compassionate a way as possible with the co-worker. I would take the same approach I would with a roomate. It's the "we all have to live here so let's make the best of it" kind of approach. Say something along the lines of "we're all bound to do things that offend or get on each other's nerves from time to time - it's unintentional but only natural since we work in the same space. There's something that's been on my mind, and I wanted to talk about it with you. I'm not sure if it's the laundry detergent you're using or if there's some dampness in your home, but after you're here for your shift, there's an oder and I may just be sensitive to it but I wanted to mention it to you...." Try not to make it out to be this horrible personal hygiene issue they have, but that it's just something that s/he may be unaware of and you knew s/he'd understand if you just talked to him/her about it. I would also mention the time stealing to your boss and let him/her deal with it. Take the conversation from the point of view that you all know it's happening and it's unfair to everyone that nothing is being done about it. She's taking advantage of you (the boss) and the company and if nothing's being done abou it, it's just a reflection to everyone else in the group that it's ok to do. To be honest, I'm really not sure how I'd handle the smelly colleague, but that's the best I can come up with. Good luck.   greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6704 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 10:41 am:        Ratting out a coworker (unless it is hurting someone or illegal) is never a good idea. It is aggravating to see someone get away with something when you are following the rules, true enough. But, you also don't want to be the office snitch and even managers don't really respect brown-nosers. Sure, they'll listen to whatever tidbits you tell them, but they won't really respect you and it could even hurt you in terms of promotions, bonus, ratings, etc. Now, if your coworker who sets his/her own hours is leaving slack that you have to pick up, that's a different story. I'd confront the coworker: "I don't really care how many hours you work, since you are the one taking chances on being busted. But do you realize that when you are late or leave early, the rest of us/I have to do your work? That's unfair and unacceptable". The BO - very hard one. You just have to do it - in private and as nicely as possible. Or, leave a sealed note on the person's desk with the same kindly-worded sentiments if you just can't handle saying it to their face. And don't watch to see when they open it or react in any way. They will be embarassed and may walk out for awhile but will pull themselves together and move on.   Alison Citizen Username: Alikoz Post Number: 154 Registered: 8-2002 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 11:13 am:        I have a smelly coworker, too. When I can get away with it, I light a small, safe candle at my desk. Very relaxing and plesant, and it hides the stink. I also have a bottle of Fabreeze that I spray on my chair every day, and on the carpet under my desk. It is subtle, and no one seems to mind. When it is really bothersome, I rub some lavendar oil on my hands and inhale deeply... I would never consider confronting the Stinky Guy at my office. He really sweet, and I know it would hurt his feelings. As for the time sheets, let it go. Karma can be a real b*tch...   Shawna Citizen Username: Lucies_mom Post Number: 89 Registered: 10-2005 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 11:47 am:        Someone needs to tell these poor people that they stink! I feel bad for them. Can you call a spouse or a close friend of the stinker and maybe have some gentle influence that way?   phyllis Citizen Username: Phyllis Post Number: 472 Registered: 6-2001 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 1:12 pm:        Reminds me of a fellow coworker who - instead of just mentioning it to another coworker - had her boss authorize a "door" for her cubicle on the outside of which she hung a note that said "Please don't come here if you are wearing overpowering perfume" That always made me laugh. Who purposefully puts on too much cologne? Guy still drenched himself in it every day and still always stopped by to say hi to her.   ril Citizen Username: Ril Post Number: 466 Registered: 6-2001 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 1:37 pm:        One of my co-workers drenches himself in the stuff. I had to hold my breath whenever he came into my office, and I found myself being very abrupt with him, just to avoid prolonged contact. I finally just explained to him that his cologne made me sneeze. He went away, only to return a short time later, come up right next to me and say, "How's this? I put on a DIFFERENT cologne" [on top of the old reeking stuff!] Ya can't win....   ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 1001 Registered: 11-2001 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 1:55 pm:        Can you arrange for a "Lunch & Learn" about personal hygeine? Maybe it can be on a wide variety of topics, hygeine and perhaps honesty on timesheets being two of them. Sort of like diversity training. This way, nobody would feel singled out, yet everyone would get the message.   Carla Citizen Username: Elbowroom Post Number: 39 Registered: 9-2005 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 2:01 pm:        I once worked with an obese woman who really smelled. After many complaints from the employees the boss had a heart-to-heart with her. She went to see a doctor and found out that the pores in the rolls of fat around her waste were clogged and that's why she smelled. She took care of her problem and everybody was happy. It's not an easy thing to do but addressing the problem must be done.   Zoesky1 Citizen Username: Zoesky1 Post Number: 1359 Registered: 6-2003 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 2:02 pm:        We have a smelly guy at work, too. It's amazing how many of them are out there. Ours is a notorious crank, too -- so no one wants to approach him. Deep down he has a heart of gold, but he's quite grouchy. Even management has decided that it's not worth alienating him by confronting him about little things. I hope I don't offend anyone, but he is from Czech Republic (has a heavy Czech accent) and I sometimes wonder if the bathing issue is cultural.   Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 12308 Registered: 1-2003 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 2:25 pm:        Miss Manners dealt with the smelly cow-orker problem. She said definitely let the supervisor handle it. One advantage (among many) of doing it this way is that the cow-orker doesn't know who reported him. As for stealing time, try not to focus on it, as long as it doesn't make your job harder. One day, you may have a stressful event in your life which will require snipping time here or there, and you'll need a little mercy. Not saying this person has a good excuse, but you might.   Valley_girl Citizen Username: Valley_girl Post Number: 111 Registered: 12-2004 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 4:26 pm:        Talk about the smell, in front of Smelly, like you don't know where it's coming from.   Me2 Citizen Username: Me2 Post Number: 209 Registered: 6-2003 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 4:38 pm:        Oust fan on your desk.   melicious Citizen Username: Melicious Post Number: 360 Registered: 6-2002 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 5:04 pm:        I had someone who used WAY too much perfume and it got me sick each day. i got a doctor's note saying that i was allergic to perfumes (as many people are) and approached my supervisor with that. nothing personal, just health issues. it worked like a charm. in fact, they made it a corporate policy to eliminate perfume. maybe there is a note you could get for BO? what does OSHA say about BO?   monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 2020 Registered: 7-2002 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 5:40 pm:        Just have a singing telegram delivered to the smelly person with a bunch of flowers, of course make sure the song is one that gets across that the person stinks, etc....   Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 6972 Registered: 5-2001 Posted on Friday, February 3, 2006 - 6:42 pm:        I agree with those above who advise against getting involved in the time issue. If you are aware of this person routinely coming in late, chances are others are too. For all you know, this person may have a special arrangement regarding work hours (childcare issues perhaps). Regarding the smelly co-worker, there are several things you can do and it really depends on your comfort level and the relationship you have with this co-worker. Options range from asking the supervisor to intercede to confronting the person directly to spraying room freshener whenever s/he comes close enough for you to smell him/her and hoping the person will eventually get the hint.   LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1255 Registered: 10-2002 Posted on Saturday, February 4, 2006 - 8:48 am:        The thing about the time issue from a manager's perspective is that you'd want to know if there was something a bad seed was doing to make the "good" workers in your group dissatisfied with their jobs. So, you end up with a group of people who are doing good work, but may leave or stop trying because they get the "why bother" attitude. If I were the manager, I'd want to know about something like this. Granted, based on the non-response by the boss about the smell issue, maybe you don't have the kind of manager who wants to know. But, as a former manager, I would hate to see good people unhappy because of a major imbalance going on that I wasn't even aware of.   Kibbegirl Citizen Username: Kibbegirl Post Number: 359 Registered: 5-2003 Posted on Saturday, February 4, 2006 - 11:04 am:        Crossroads, you may get some helpful hints on how to best handle your co-worker's "situation" from this: http://www.nypost.com/living/61542.htm   Csi_lady Citizen Username: Csi_lady Post Number: 2 Registered: 1-2006 Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 9:09 am:        this might be helpfful http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid= 692&SiteId=cbmsn4692&sc_extcmp=JS_692_advice Are you the victim of OOO? (Offensive Office Odor). When the problem is more personal, such as bad breath or body odor, handle the situation as tactfully as possible. Consider the way you'd want someone to approach you in such a situation and proceed likewise. msn careers articles & advice   tulip Citizen Username: Braveheart Post Number: 3149 Registered: 3-2004 Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 9:28 am:        1) Pay people enough, and maybe they won't steal. 2) Turn down the heat, distribute work fairly, make work less stressful, and maybe people won't sweat as much.   Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2315 Registered: 9-2003 Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 9:49 am:        I've had to address 3 kinds of personal odor issues as a manager: The popcorn one (like MSN), excessive fragrance and BO. In each case HR told me that it was up to me as the supervisor to deal. Popcorn/food is relatively easy: Talk to the individual one-on-one, and just put the kibbosh on burnt popcorn; had to also say I'd honor any similar concern about excessive garlic, cabbage and what not as we worked in a cube culture and had to be respectful of each other's noses. The BO one (which more or less includes mouth ordor) was a little more delicate, but I had to recommend that individual consult their physician as the odor might be a sign of an illness, and that we often weren't aware. I had to be firm yet general: I was not to ascribe it to bad habits, merely to acknowlege that there waas a problem, that we had concern for the individual's health, and it needed to be addressed. Now, I work in a cube culture with people from varying cultures and different diets and ideas of acceptable personal odor. Sometimes the BO issue is related to frequency of washing, sometimes diet, sometimes health. It's not for me to determine which is the source, simply to say the "evidence" was a concern and it needed to be addressed. The perfume one was the hardest, as there seemed to be an underlying interpersonal issue. The complainer went around the office rather aggressively for some days with a disposable surgical mask on! She was complaining about a co-worker -- who to most people, did not not exude excess perfume. For some others, especially with respiratory problems, there was a minor concern. Anyway, I had to talk to the Perfume Person and ask if she could use less of whatever it was. I also relocated the cube of the complainer to an area she found less bothersome. At no point were specific edicts regarding perfumes or personally cleanliness put on the table. I will also offer that during the times when these issues arose was a tough time in the organization. With the exception of the popcorn guy, it was my perception that everyone was particularly on edge and it was causing some interesting manifestations -- only two of which related to odors ("good" and "bad"). This stuff can be so specific it seems almost impossible to make big rules to live by. Also, you run the risk of discrimination claims.   Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2133 Registered: 7-2003 Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 12:04 pm:        A contractor from India insisted on starting his day by washing his genitals in the men’s room sink. “Nelish, you can’t wash your balls in the sink anymore” “How come?” “People don’t like it” “Ok, I’m very sorry” “No problem”   Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 12357 Registered: 1-2003 Posted on Tuesday, February 7, 2006 - 11:44 am:        http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/04/AR2006020401082. html Monsters Inc. Sunday, February 5, 2006; D04 There is a monster in the next cubicle. It coughs and honks. It shouts on the telephone and blasts out music. It whistles and hums. It reeks of body odor and offensive perfume. It burps and snorts. It chews gum and eats malodorous food. It chomps and belches. It spits -- and does worse. The odd thing is that it never has any trouble finding or holding jobs. Every office built on the popular open plan employs at least one. Miss Manners knows this because she gets reports on the monster's activities from cubicle neighbors. They write in a state of desperation. They can't concentrate on their work. Even if there happens to be a peaceful moment, they are waiting in dread for the next offense. They are pleading for a solution before going next door and throttling the monster. Or perhaps they are hoping that Miss Manners will break down, just this once, and say, "Oh, go ahead, fight back. There is only so much a body can stand, day after day. Show them what it's like to be constantly driven crazy." No such luck. We will have to find nonviolent and even nonrude ways to deal with the problem. You would think that those who invented the modern open office might have realized that these daily irritants were bound to occur. But no. Overstimulated by the realization of how cheap a way this would be to pack workers in, they babbled of the productivity and camaraderie that would result. All thrown in together, office workers would surely fall under the spell of one another's charms -- but, of course, in a way that would foster creative team spirit rather than sexual harassment. It does not seem to have occurred to management that people have various habits and quirks that become annoying to those who spend significant time in their vicinity. If this is true of those who love each other and have chosen to live together, it should have been obvious how much more it would affect those thrown together by the accident of employment. So there is no system in place for dealing with the inevitable clashes. Management neither sets rules about petty forms of behavior nor arbitrates disputes. Its attitude is that all those people it has crowded together should find a way to get along. The result is that some seethe and do nothing, while others go on the attack, which inspires counterattacks. This does not make for a pleasant workforce. Like it or not, management has to be the promulgator of rules that it culls from the workers themselves. Such matters as noise levels, restrictions on gum chewing or eating, and the degrees of minor illnesses tolerated at work should be reasonably regulated. They will be ridiculed, of course, but that will provide the much-touted camaraderie. They will also be disobeyed, and management has the responsibility to deal with violators. It is easier for a supervisor to say regretfully that "there have been complaints," without naming names, than for individuals of similar rank to deal directly with one another. If management doesn't want to undertake this, it has another option. It can put up real walls. Dear Miss Manners: Please tell me that proper etiquette for gift card receiving is more than just "thank you for the gift card." I would like to know what the receiver at least plans to do with the card, and to tell me in a note or a phone call exactly what they did do with it is even better. If nothing else, make something up! To me this seems logical and obviously more polite. Isn't it amazing that people don't always think that way? Yes, why aren't people more thoughtful about presents? Why don't they take the trouble to think about what items their friends and relatives might enjoy instead of instructing them to go shopping for themselves? It is true that it would be gracious for the recipient to announce the result of such an offering if something, even a possibility, springs to mind. But as Miss Manners does not brook delays in writing thanks, she is not going to require a second letter of thanks to report the results. A gift certificate is not thoughtful enough to require double duty. Feeling incorrect? E-mail your etiquette questions to Miss Manners (who is distraught that she cannot reply personally) at MissManners@unitedmedia.com or mail to United Media, 200 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10016. 2006 Judith Martin © 2006 The Washington Post Company   summerbabe Citizen Username: Summerbabe Post Number: 50 Registered: 7-2005 Posted on Tuesday, February 7, 2006 - 12:00 pm:        There's a web site called "just a tip," where you can anonymously send someone an email addressing exactly this kind of stuff. It was big a few years ago. I've always been amused by the idea of sending anonymous etiquette tips to people who offend me. It might not be a bad last resort.