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toad
Citizen
Username: Toad
Post Number: 125
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 6:31 am: | 
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You see a friend's seventeen year old son smoking a joint by himself in a nearby park. Do you tell your friend or butt out? |
dave23
Citizen
Username: Dave23
Post Number: 1318
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 7:41 am: |
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That's a tough one. Normally, I'd say butt out, but if he's smoking by himself that probably means he's smoking a lot. What about confronting the kid directly? |
Colleen
Citizen
Username: Cbroderick
Post Number: 168
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 7:41 am: |
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If it were my son, I would certainly want to know! |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2895
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 7:53 am: |
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I agree with Colleen. If it were my son, I'd definately want my friends to tell me if they ever saw such a thing.
That's one of the very reasons I like living here. I'd like to think that when my kids are older and away from home where I can't see them, that other people who know us will see them, and let me know if they're doing something they shouldn't.
What are your concerns about telling your friend? |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 6978
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 8:25 am: |
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If you have a really good mentor or honorary uncle type relationship with the seventeen year old, you might want to say something to him about the danger to his health involved with smoking joints but otherwise I doubt your getting directly involved would do much good.
I agree with the others who have suggested letting the parents know what you observed. As a parent, I appreciated it when neighbors kept me up-to-date on my son's out-of-house activities.
If the seventeen year old is smoking joints with any frequency, chances are the parents already know about it but they may be at a loss as to what action to take -- in which case letting them talk out the problem with you could be a tremendous help in and of itself. If they don't know about the joint smoking, you are doing the young man a tremendous service by helping him to get the help he may need to quit.
By all means let them know. |
Southorangemom
Citizen
Username: Southorangemom
Post Number: 257
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 9:26 am: |
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Definitely a tough one, but I think the parent needs to know. No parent wants to hear first from the police when others knew first!
SouthOrangeMom |
Just The Aunt
Supporter
Username: Auntof13
Post Number: 3871
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, February 5, 2006 - 11:28 pm: |
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If the kids's smoking alone, that could be a bad sign. It's not as if he can claim 'peer pressure.' I'd try to say something to the kid. Let them know how dangerous smoking joints are if for nothing more then it's against the law and he could go to jail if caught by the police. |
Kristen Williamson
Citizen
Username: Kris219
Post Number: 163
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 12:45 am: |
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No, tell the parent. You're obviously a caring and concerned friend! |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 1019
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 12:59 am: |
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As a parent, I would want to know, and I would rather hear it from a friend than from the police. Further, if you, as a friend, tell the mom, then maybe the mom can intervene. |
tom
Citizen
Username: Tom
Post Number: 4320
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 1:58 am: |
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that's what friends are for. you can count on strangers to just ignore something like that. |
Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 10544
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 8:09 am: |
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Depends on how well you know the parents. Are they the type who realize their kids may not be perfect or the type who will deny what you saw and accuse you of being a nasty nosy neighbor?
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Carla
Citizen
Username: Elbowroom
Post Number: 42
Registered: 9-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 8:25 am: |
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Are you sure he was smoking a joint?
Is it possible he was smoking a rolled tobacco cigarette? |
SoOrLady
Citizen
Username: Soorlady
Post Number: 2963
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 9:08 am: |
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Carla - that's exactly what I was going to ask. There is a trend among young people these days to roll their own cigarettes. Unless you actually smelled the pot - don't assume. If you are close friends with his parent, I would tell them what you observed. |
shestheone
Citizen
Username: Shestheone
Post Number: 224
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 9:09 am: |
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Carla,
I thought the exact same thing. During my much younger days as a smoker, I found the $1.05 a pack to be outrageously expensive. Tobacco and rolling papers are much cheaper.
Toad, I would encourage you tell the parents, just be sure you tell them that exactly what you saw: their child smoking something that looked like a joint. |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 2899
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 9:32 am: |
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Again, if it were my child, I'd want to know they were smoking, no matter what they were smoking, be it cigarette or marijuana.
But, generally, I think there is clear difference in the way tobacco and marijuana are inhaled, yes! |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 12327
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 10:38 am: |
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Definitely tell the parents. If they are the denying type, it's their problem, and you've done your duty.
Tobacco and pot smell very different. If toad smelled it, he would know for sure.
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Shawna
Citizen
Username: Lucies_mom
Post Number: 94
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 1:49 pm: |
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I would say, next time, go up and talk to the kid to assess the situation better. He's by himself, so you shouldn't be afraid. Then when you talk to the parents, you can say , "I talked to soandso in the park today...and mention it to them casually." Maybe it's no big deal. |
wolfy
Citizen
Username: Locowolfy
Post Number: 39
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 2:43 pm: |
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maybe the kid "smokes pot" but he doesnt inhale, you know, like Bill Clinton!!!!!!!!!!!!1 |
AlleyGater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 1165
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 5:27 pm: |
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I think someone should be devil's advocate and say, if I was the kid, I wouldn't want you to tell.
Also, you're all hypocrites and you know it.
OK, I think I am done channelling my inner 16 yo. |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 1026
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 7:01 pm: |
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OK, real story....first ask the kid to share, THEN tell his mother if he doesn't. Is that better?
Of course, if I were the kid, I wouldn't want Toad to tell. (Of course, if I were the kid, I would be more careful, but that's another story.)
However, as a parent, which I am now, I would want to know so I could deal with the kid myself. I certainly wouldn't want my friend having the conversation with my child. |
Carrie Avery
Citizen
Username: Carrie33
Post Number: 1316
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 7:43 pm: |
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I agree, ess, a rat is not good, but as a parent we feel obligated and guilty if we don't. I might suggest to the friend or a person to look after her son or daughter, and inquire if they think their child has any problems recently. To sound empathetic but to not get too involved in their lives in the unfortunate event I am no longer a friend or observer.
I would hope someone opened my eyes in that way. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 12343
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 8:04 pm: |
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AlleyGater, I don't follow. I certainly understand how the kid wouldn't be happy about having his act exposed, but why does that make it wrong?
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Brett
Citizen
Username: Bmalibashksa
Post Number: 2134
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 8:22 pm: |
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When I got caught:
“Hey, you have to tell your dad what you’re doing, tell him to call me after you tell him, other wise I’ll call him in two weeks”
I freaked for two weeks, gave away my pot. Worst two weeks of my life. Not sure if the guy ever called but you can be damn sure I didn’t get caught again.
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cmontyburns
Citizen
Username: Cmontyburns
Post Number: 1734
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 8:40 pm: |
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Just curious... how did you get close enough to him to see that he was smoking a joint (and not a regular cigarette)? Doesn't he know you? Surprised he didn't freak out when he saw you. |
Jersey Boy
Citizen
Username: Jersey_boy
Post Number: 111
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Monday, February 6, 2006 - 8:54 pm: |
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Those of you who would hesitate to "rat" this kid out because you did it too are doing him a diservice. He's doing something illegal in a public park. It's stupid. He's going to get caught. No, he DID get caught.
That's the issue. His mom's friend caught him!
He deserves to get into trouble, for being a jackass. |
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