| Author | Message | ||
     Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2799 Registered: 9-2002  |
This is serious now. And I'm not sure why I'm asking all of you, because most of you seem to have a similar problem. I'm addicted to the internet. Only at work. Basically trolling MOL, my email, news sites, cooking sites, online shopping, etc. is simply more interesting than work. And I have a somewhat challenging job, work with great people, make good money. But I am only working about 3 hours a day now and surfing the rest of the day away until it is time to pick up the kiddos. And I'm feeling really lousy about it. I'm cheating the company and not challenging myself. I have work to do. But unless something urgent comes up I simply procrastinate by surfing. How can I get more motivated to do real work? I am hoping to request reducing my hours, and I think showing some good productivity will help my case. But I am so unfulfilled at my job right now. Unfortunately I am also well paid, which means changing careers (which I would LOVE to do) very difficult. Add to that fact that I want to spend more time with my kids, so any job I would get would need to be part time. And no way will anyone pay me a part time salary that would come close to what I am making here. So what can I do? I'm leaving now to get the monsters. I expect one of you to provide a solution for me by my morning check of MOL.  | ||
| WendyP Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3284 Registered: 12-2004  |
Right there with ya, Wendy. But I don't even have the excuse that I'm getting paid and should be doing work to keep me away. Can't help you, but would love to hear what others might suggest. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6926 Registered: 5-2001  |
Uh-oh. With the exception of the kid part, I could have written your post. We can't even have an online support group.... | ||
| BGS Citizen Username: Bgs Post Number: 771 Registered: 10-2003 |
I am becoming one of you as well....I am drawn to checking this dern website too many times a day. I have to stop...and you are right Greenie...we cannot even have an online support group! :-( B | ||
| brooklyngirl Citizen Username: Brooklyngirl Post Number: 33 Registered: 6-2005 |
Wow. We could have a support group. But it wouldnt help the problem. Also I was thinking is there anyway to get paid for surfing the internet? Also Wendyn are they hiring at your job? I have a job but bored too. A change would be good. How about we talk about the funniest sites that we have been on. Have you ever gone to the end of the internet? Look it up its funny. Anyone know what we did at work before the internet? I cant remember. | ||
| Amie Brockway-Metcalf Citizen Username: Amie Post Number: 517 Registered: 6-2004 |
I had this problem until I quit my job to freelance. Now I never get a chance to go online. Seriously, can you take your internet browser off your computer? Or at least make it more difficult to open? I did this at work, by deleting the alias in the Dock so I had to open it by finding the program buried in the Applications folder. Just that bit of hunting and pecking helped. (on a Mac, obviously) I also deleted all my bookmarks. Why doesn't somebody write a program that will only allow a used a certian amount of surfing time, like 5 minutes an hour or so? Like a rat pellet after the 10th time you push the lever, except you get to actually check out the latest picture of Britney after the program's been offline for an hour. Free idea to any programmers! | ||
| Lizziecat Citizen Username: Lizziecat Post Number: 1106 Registered: 5-2003 |
Retired grandma, here, also addicted. I love Internet shopping! I sit here, with my computer and my credit card and I can buy anything in the world! And e-mail! I never call my friends any more--we just e-mail. What kind of support group do you propose? An on-line one? Like that's going to help. | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 5894 Registered: 5-2001  |
I'm with you on the job thing. Good money but unfulfilled, sometimes real dread getting up in the morning. Ugh. | ||
| Mergele Citizen Username: Mergele Post Number: 369 Registered: 7-2003  |
Me three! In an average week, I probably do about 3 hours of actual work. The rest of the time I surf. But being very wary of big brother, I mostly stick to news at the office (very easy if you're a news junkie). The really scary part is that my esteemed employer believes I walk on water. And, of course, pays me accordingly. This has made finding more stimulating work a real challenge. I've been talking to another organization over the last few weeks and was told yesterday that an offer will be forthcoming. If this pans out, I'll be spending most of my time in countries where internet access is hard to come by. I figure that that should solve the problem.  | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 7124 Registered: 5-2001 |
I don't have an internet connection at work, though I would really love to have one. Therefore, I can't make any suggestions based on personal experience. However, from what I have read on this thread thus far, surfing the internet seems to have taken the place of the old down time at work alternate activities of reading the newspaper, reading a book, doing crossword puzzles, doing needlework, etc. As an alternative to sitting at your desk and staring into space in the hopes that the phone will ring, someone will walk over to converse with you or some work will materialize, surfing doesn't sound like a bad option. The problem becomes more serious when there is work to do that isn't getting done in a timely fashion or isn't getting done as well as it should because surfing the internet has become a more attractive activity than doing the work one is being paid to do. Making it more difficult to go on line by deleting all desk top shortcuts to the internet and deleting bookmarks for all non-work related sites could help somewhat but not if you really have that overwhelming need to surf. Quiting recreational surfing at work is a bit like quitting smoking. First you have to really want to quit. Second you have to eliminate or reprogram the triggers which normally lead to your surfing. It also helps to have really good will power. Another possibility is to rechannel the urge to surf by using the internet as means of improving the product you produce at work. When the urge strikes, try researching the latest developments in your field, getting background information you need to complete an analysis, checking on product offerings by the competition, etc. | ||
| Marge N Averra Citizen Username: Marge_n_averra Post Number: 24 Registered: 8-2004 |
I could've written wendyn's post, too. I'm using my alter-ego ID because I don't want to post under my main ID, which is my real name (a lot of people know who I "really" am but nobody at work probably does :-). Except I think that I do more work during the day than 3 hours - but still lose too much time to surfing, MOL, blogs, etc. I have found that the following things help me a lot. First, kind of like what Joan said - I use my computer obsession to help me get sorted out. E.g. I made a huge mega-list of all of my projects (frightening) and put it into an Outlook task list. I put due dates on everything, even the ones that are self-assigned projects without real deadlines. This is the old-fashioned self-discipline thing. Just seeing all of those projects stacked up is pretty sobering. Second, I get my admin to schedule tons of meetings for me. That keeps me away from my computer, and I usually end up at the end of the meeting with stuff to do. And this is pathetic but true - I'm good at meetings, so I get a lot of strokes from other people, which makes me feel good. When I feel good about myself, I'm less likely to surf. Honestly - I post when I feel lonely or bored, and I'm almost always one or the other. I have the same impression about a lot of people here (not all). Third, read a book. Not at work, but at home. If I read at home, I'm not on the computer. If I stay away from the computer at home (especially from MOL) it's easier to stay away at work. I don't know why, but it works for me. Fourth, if things get out of hand I remind myself that I'm always bitching about there not being enough time - and then I think about how much of my life has been wasted in Virtual Cafe etc. If I turn off the computer, it's amazing how much time I suddenly have. These things don't help much, but they help a little. | ||
| Marge N Averra Citizen Username: Marge_n_averra Post Number: 25 Registered: 8-2004 |
One more thing - do something creative. My job allows for very little creativity and I feel stifled there almost all the time. MOL can be a creative outlet - and I think it is for a lot of other people too. But it doesn't have to be your only outlet. Write, paint, take photos, knit, learn an instrument, sing, cook - create something. | ||
| upondaroof Citizen Username: Upondaroof Post Number: 601 Registered: 4-2003 |
Joan writes: "Quiting recreational surfing at work is a bit like quitting smoking." I quit smoking 12 years ago. One of the things that took my mind off of it was the internet. Been there, (on overtime and smoke free,) ever since. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2800 Registered: 9-2002 |
Great suggestions. I especially like the Outlook task list. I've tried deleting the link from my desktop but I have to check our intranet several times a day, and as soon as I am on the intranet the internet is right there! Keep the advice coming! Amie, I'm a programmer. Maybe I should try to write a program like that for us addicts... | ||
| Marge N Averra Citizen Username: Marge_n_averra Post Number: 26 Registered: 8-2004 |
What really strikes me about this thread is that every person posting (except upondaroof, who feels that this addiction is better than his former addiction) is a woman. Yet I see lots of guys on MOL all the time. So I have a few questions. 1) do we really lose more time than guys do to the internet, or do we just feel more guilty about it? Do we have a stronger work ethic maybe? 2) If we really lose more time, why is that? I have a sociobiological theory - though I generally despise those. Back in our protohuman history, when (in theory) guys went out to hunt and gals stayed home taking care of the young'uns, we hung out together in groups of women - our lives were very social. Guys, maybe not so much - hunting can be done as a team or solitary - and even when as a team, you're probably not gabbing a lot (scares away the game). So now we're all stuck in our solitary little cubicles or offices, with nobody to talk to but the computer - human contact is missing. Same goes for WendyP as a SAHM, because there aren't a lot of her around. I get the impressoin she goes stir-crazy staying at home with her young'uns, maybe because the old-fashioned kaffeeklatch is now a thing of the past. As I said, I hate sociobiological theories, and already hate this one, but I wonder if there isn't something to this stuck-in-my-cube-with-no-social-contact thing going on. Maybe it applies to guys too, but theory #1 has some truth to it. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 13014 Registered: 1-2003  |
Count me in. Some people admire me for posting more than anyone else here, but I'm actually embarrassed. I think the key for me is going to be focusing. A little meditation, a little exercise, and a concerted effort to go over my goals, appointments, to-do lists every day will probably get me back on track. It will remind me what's important. The addiction probably indicates two things: 1. much of life is unfulfilling and 2. I forget what I really want to put my energy and time into. The problem with the unfulfillment is that while the online stuff is a pleasant diversion, it's not really all that fulfilling in large doses. That's why I (and probably others) go for more and more. It's like eating junk food. It's not satisfying, so we eat MORE. | ||
| Oldstone Citizen Username: Rogers4317 Post Number: 640 Registered: 6-2004  |
i surf a lot...but i just think it's procrastination. and because i'm paranoid about never finding as good a job as i have and losing my house or something equally devastating, i never let it stand in the way of getting my job done on time. i try to keep a balance...a little work, a little internet, rinse, repeat... oh, the other part of it for me is that i like my job, it's always stimulating...and i've been with my company for 17 years ! | ||
| Marge N Averra Citizen Username: Marge_n_averra Post Number: 27 Registered: 8-2004 |
Tom - that is very insightful, and I agree. It is pleasant, but in the end not very fulfilling, so we keep "pushing the reinforcement lever" to get more pellets that don't ever fill us up. Boy am I depressed now. But not really - it is good motivation to turn the computer off. I'm off work today and should be using my time to either get things done around the house, or if I'm going to goof off, goof off in a way that really feels good. Bye bye ... | ||
| Rick B Citizen Username: Ruck1977 Post Number: 1016 Registered: 8-2003  |
I don't see what the issue is. In your mind you are not being as productive as you CAN be, however, your performance at work has not necessarily declined (or atleast it hasn't been noticed). I have a feeling that you would not let it get to that point though. The true issue seems to be that there is not enough work for you to do, or not enough pressure on you to get it done faster. It sounds like your job is affording you a lot of time to do the things you really want to do as long as you are getting your work done to the satisfaction of your boss, no? Whats so bad about that? | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2805 Registered: 9-2002 |
My performance has declined, but since I was top rated I had no where to go but down anyway. Used to be 5 out of 5, now I'm 3 out of 5. I guess that means that with all of my surfing I am still as good as most of the people in the organization. Scary. I guess my problem is that I wish that I wanted to be more productive. I don't really want to be surfing the net all day, I just don't want to be doing my job. I'm working with some code right now that is unfamiliar to me. So instead of trying to understand it, here I am again. I think I'm just lazy. | ||
| Zoesky1 Citizen Username: Zoesky1 Post Number: 1408 Registered: 6-2003  |
I work at a job where I'm supposed to go on the Internet quite frequently -- as in, several times a day -- to conduct research as well as to read the Wall Street Journal Online (we have a company account) and other news sources to stay informed (I'm a writer/editor/project manager at a publishing company) And of course I too am addicted to sites such as this, plus all the usual suspects (many blogs!). It's challenging to stay on point and use the Net for what I should be using it for while not being lured off to interesting places. I spend literally hours on line every day, and the lines are pretty blurry between business and personal use. Fortunately, I'm productive enough to get stuff done amidst my almost-constant surfing. Now I'm getting my own blog -- I just got "hired" to write a blog for NJ.com/Star Ledger on Livingston (where I live...it will cover goings-on around town). It will be live in a few days once NJ.com sets up the technical end. So it's going to get even worse! | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 13023 Registered: 1-2003 |
I don't think you're lazy. I think you are unmotivated, i.e. you're not interested in what you are supposed to do. When I was in college with the "wrong" major, I was tired all the time. When I realized I didn't want to do it any more (with the help of a counselor), I perked up. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2806 Registered: 9-2002 |
Yeah, I'm definitely in the wrong job.  Unfortunately this is not the right time in my life to change careers. So somehow I have to find a way to perk myself up and get something done! Wait, I fogot to check the basketball scores.... | ||
| Rick B Citizen Username: Ruck1977 Post Number: 1020 Registered: 8-2003 |
Wendyn, You said you were top rated, but now your not. Your company maybe did not recognize you enough for you to continue to be top rated. Perhaps you see that performing at a high level does not carry with it reward enough to continue working at that pace. I have no idea if you work for a large corporation or not, but I do currently and have in the past. I typically work with people who are 10-20 years my senior (i'm not quite 30) and I can see how some people just get unmotivated and fall into the routine of their job. If they work harder or faster, they just get more work, but they have honeed in on a pace at which they can work that keeps the boss happy and leaves them fairly pressure free. If they go faster, which most of them are certainly capable of, they will either get more work to do, or be expected to work faster next time. Most times with little reward. | ||
| Rick B Citizen Username: Ruck1977 Post Number: 1021 Registered: 8-2003 |
"Wait, I fogot to check the basketball scores...." you can watch the games online now!  | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2807 Registered: 9-2002 |
Yep, Rick you have it nailed. Big company, lot of bored employees, especially in the support staff like IT. And the difference between being top rated (5% raise) and middle rated (3% raise) simply isn't enough to work harder. And I'm not in a place where I want more responsibility from a promotion. In fact I am looking at cutting back my hours for the kiddos, one more reason not to leave. This thread has made me feel a bit better, although still guilty as I love my boss and want to do my job well. Such is life. Oh and I was joking about the basketball as my alma-maters (Syracuse & Seton Hall) were both booted yesterday.  | ||
| Tommy O'Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 13027 Registered: 1-2003 |
One reason people goof off much more at work is that goofing off looks exactly like working now, until you look at the screen. | ||
| Handygirl Citizen Username: Handygirl Post Number: 613 Registered: 2-2004 |
Oy! I could have written this thread as well. My addiction generally stems from not enough sleep. When I am tired or excessively bored I can't focus on work and find myself gravitating towards less academic pursuits - and then I get sucked in and before I know it it is 6pm. I think that I need an intervention (or sleep, but with a 3 year old and a 7 month old...) | ||
| Zoesky1 Citizen Username: Zoesky1 Post Number: 1409 Registered: 6-2003 |
hey Wendyn, I'm a Syracuse alumna too! What year are you? I graduated in '89 from Newhouse.... Big bummer about yesterday's game. Typical Orange. They win the Big East, then blow it in the first round of the NCAA. Were you there in 1987 for the SU-Indiana game and subsequent M St madness? | ||
| kevin Supporter Username: Kevin Post Number: 637 Registered: 2-2002 |
I'm going to take up smoking so that I can go outside when I get the urge to browse the web - perfect timing since it will be getting warmer soon. Anytime I go outside my building, I always see the same people out there smoking. They must not have internet access... My web usage at the office is a vicious cycle. It starts small and builds up to the point where I am doing next to nothing and all of a sudden, something strange happens in my head where I go mental and can't take it anymore. I then won't go near the internet for at least a few days and then start with light browsing again.... Why don't we start a MOL job swap so we can all try something different? I'm not guaranteeing you top quality(or even functioning) real-time satellite tracking code - but I'll try your programming job, Wendy. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2808 Registered: 9-2002 |
Hey Zoesky, Graduated in 1990 (human development), as did my hubster (management). I remember watching the game in the dorm in 1987 and hearing utter silence when the game ended, then pandemonium seconds later. Quite a night. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2809 Registered: 9-2002 |
Kevin, I want to trade jobs with someone who doesn't sit in an office all day! Maybe I could be a lumberjack or something. I might have a plaid shirt somewhere... | ||
| Blew Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 1340 Registered: 10-2004  |
Guilty as charged. And I know that TS is too. Some days I don't want to work and I don't. Some days I need to get work done and I don't. Some days I need to get work done and I do the least amount that I can to get by. Some days I need to get tons of work done and KICK AZZ and DO. There is the whole gamut for me. Sometimes I get really interested or involved in something on MOL and I am truly addicted and can't stop coming back. Other times though, I can totally ignore it and I don't go for a few days and you know what...? I have almost never missed anything. It's alright if I'm not on MOL for awhile life goes on and I am ok with that. That helps with my MOL widthdrawal. I don't know what to tell you Wendyn. There are a lot of us out there going through what your going through. It feels weird. You live with the weird feeling and sometimes you do tons of work to compensate. I don't know about you but I stand by the quality of my work (when I do it) and I feel like I am doing quite a bit more than A LOT of my co-workers. I'm not one of those employees that punches the clock and is out the door at 5PM on the nose (as many of my co-workers are) So on the surface I probably look much more dedicated than most. And I make sure that the work is completed. I pride myself on making my deadlines and doing quality work. I have regular deadlines that must be met and they are. So my boss knows the work is getting done. And while I'm sure he would like us all to do MORE work (what boss wouldn't?), I feel confident that if he was looking for inefficiency in our group, he wouldn't come snooping in my cubicle...well at least I wouldn't be the first person he would scrutinize. And at night you just be glad that you aren't a business owner with employees like us. | ||
| Blew Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 1341 Registered: 10-2004 |
Kevin I was a smoker and I work in the web industry and I can tell you that you can be addicted to both. Even if I did NO WORK and surfed all day, I would still go out and smoke. It's definitely not an either or type of thing. | ||
| upondaroof Citizen Username: Upondaroof Post Number: 603 Registered: 4-2003 |
Its not really an addiction!   | ||
| Marge N Averra Citizen Username: Marge_n_averra Post Number: 28 Registered: 8-2004 |
Cute picture .... This sounds like me:
Anyway as to motivation, that's a large part of it too. I've been lucky to get a 1.5% - 2% raise every year since I've been in my current job. Which is way less than inflation, btw, so my real salary has been declining. And the raises are across the board to everybody; so it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you're not doing so terribly that you're at risk of being fired. And the bar for that is set so low, that you need to practically engage in criminal behavior on the job before the firings begin (I know, as I've been trying to get rid of a guy who has literally not done a single thing for over a year and I am not being permitted to fire him.). So I'll never sink that low, ever. But there is very close to zero % chance of promotion, either - the only way to do better is to move to another employer. I keep my eyes on the job market, but my particular job classification is a bit esoteric and there aren't that many openings at my level in the country every year, let alone in the state. People who have my kind of job tend to stay put. So, I think it's obvious that the incentive structure really doesn't work that well. It encourages mediocrity, and that's what they get. I try to stay as disciplined as I can at work, and I'm working on getting fulfillment elsewhere as I'm not getting much at work. If I feel good outside of work, I do better at work. In my case, doing creative stuff at home helps a lot. I don't think I'm a "creative person" in the sense that my creations aren't that brilliant, but I have a real need to engage in creative activity. Maybe everybody does, I don't know. But man oh man, it really breaks my heart that there are so many of us out there just putting in our time at work, slogging away at jobs that are drudgery at best and killing us at worst. Holy crow does that suck. | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1402 Registered: 10-2002  |
I'm hopeless, and I'm blaming MOL. Here's why -- I do various writing projects all day, and I need a little surfing in-between assignments to clear my head from one subject to the next. Problem is - on one of those little breaks, I post something on MOL. Then, I need to check every 20 minutes whether there's been a response to my post or see what other things people had to say. I realize that I can set it to email me when there are actually posts, but that's no fun. And, while I have the browser open, I then remember that I wanted to check amazon to see if they sell that thingamajiggy I've been meaning to order, and then I check my mail again followed by the news and then at that point...it's time to check the posts again... So, that's why I'm hopeless and MOL is to blame...  | ||
| WendyP Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3293 Registered: 12-2004 |
Bingo, Marge. "Same goes for WendyP as a SAHM, because there aren't a lot of her around. I get the impressoin she goes stir-crazy staying at home with her young'uns, maybe because the old-fashioned kaffeeklatch is now a thing of the past." And at this stage, there's so much that keeps me in the house. If we have a playdate here, I'm in the house. If it's naptime, I'm in the house. If all three are home and I run out of bread, I ain't runnin' to the store with all three for a loaf of bread, so I'm in the house. My husband is away long, long, endless hours. And although the week flies by, somehow at the same time it just goes on forever. And I do have some regular contact with other adults but it's usually fleeting at best. So when I think I'm going to lose it, I come here. I look for empathy, advice or just good old fashioned "conversation." After all I can't turn around and vent to the kids. I used to believe I really wasn't a people person, but it's amazing how much you crave adult conversation when all you do is talk to kids and say the same things over and over and over and over, 24/7. My last little getaway with some of my girl friends was way back in October, for my birthday. All we did, all weekend long (and we're all mom's) was eat, drink, talk, talk, talk, talk, and talk some more. It was fabulous. So I'm hoping when I have the older two in school all day, and the youngest in pre-school five afternoons (that would be the 2008-2009 school year) I'll get the hell out and do more away from the house and away from the damned computer and away from MOL!!!! Until then, you're all stuck with me. | ||
| WendyP Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3294 Registered: 12-2004 |
And actually, there are a lot of us SAHM's and SAHD's around. It's just that we're usually running in different directions, so the most we get to do is say "hi, how are you?" When the kids were much smaller, a playdate for them usually meant a playdate for me with the SAHP. Now they're older, so, for the most part, it's a drop off thing. | ||
| Tommy O'Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 13042 Registered: 1-2003 |
I have MOL options set to email me on thread updates in threads where I have posted something. True confession: I post things in threads where I have nothing to contribute, just to get the email. And since I post on so many threads, I get tons of email throughout the day. Maybe that's why some people pipe in just to say "boring." |
