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Miss L Toe
Citizen
Username: Miss_l_toe
Post Number: 477
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 9:10 am: | 
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We've been in the US for six years now (possibly now about to take the leap into applying for green cards...yikes) and our youngest graduates high school in the summer of 2007.
We live in Millburn township and there is no pressing need to stay here once our son has left for college....although we do live within walking distance of the train station which is so convenient as my spouse works in midtown.
We haven't tried city living in the States and wonder if a lot of people choose to leave the suburbs once the kids have grown up? We're in our mid-40s. Country living is not for us - nice for visits but we didn't like village life in England and the hassles of having to drive for miles to get groceries etc.
I'm sort of thinking about Hoboken but I'd be loathe to give up having a car - I know the parking situation there is a nightmare. I think Manhatten may be beyond what we could afford - but haven't really looked into it yet.
Also I think it would be hard if we returned to apartment living and not having a backyard for lounging in and having a barbie.
On the other hand it's a pity that we live so close to NYC but rarely bother to go out for an evening event mid-week as you have to clock-watch so you don't miss the last train and then you have to add on the journey time so you don't get home too late.
Any thoughts? Does anyone know couples who have done this and are enjoying city living or do they long for the suburbs again? |
eliz
Supporter
Username: Eliz
Post Number: 1373
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 9:18 am: |
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It's my dream to move back to NYC as soon as the little one is out of the nest. I love Maplewood but I'm in love with the city - it broke my heart when I moved out. I still haven't worked out the financials but we have a few years yet...
As for Hoboken I wouldn't consider that city living but I know there are plenty of fans. Have you thought about Brooklyn? |
MHCLyons
Citizen
Username: Hamandeggs
Post Number: 214
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 9:35 am: |
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My inlaws did this and adapted quickly to life w/o backyards, etc (no mowing!). They rent a car when they need one, which is rare, as they vacation abroad (now that they can -- it's easy to leave an apartment unattended). Yes, Manhattan is expensive...but they don't buy food in great quantities, nor do they pay over and over again for home repair, seasonal flowers, etc. Their utility use is down, no car insurance, less space for stuff so they buy less...it all kind of evens out.
They have found NYC remarkably conducive to life as retirees (or sort of retirees). They're having a ball and they love hosting friends and showing them the city. |
Handygirl
Citizen
Username: Handygirl
Post Number: 626
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 10:57 am: |
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I think about it, but, unless you can afford a 3 bedroom or so in the city, you won't have room to host anyone. Also, even when my kids move out, I'll want to have space for them to come home to. And unless you can afford to buy a decent size apt, space will be tight - and there will be grandkids ... and their toys... I suspect that we may downsize in the future, but not as much as we would moving into a small city apt.
My thought is to buy a studio in the city at some point. That way you won't have to worry about catching the last train out.
Also, when we go into the city now and we know that it may be a late night, we drive in and park at the Port Authority. The parking is cheap and easy access to subways. |
LibraryLady(ncjanow)
Supporter
Username: Librarylady
Post Number: 3134
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 11:08 am: |
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Don't even consider it until the kids are thru with college (graduate school?). They are home more than you think. The move expensive the educational facility, the less time they are there. Believe me!
The need a place to come home to during those periods. And they don't want to come back to a place where they know no one.
I am there now, and still deciding what to do! |
Pippi
Supporter
Username: Pippi
Post Number: 1957
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 11:26 am: |
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Miss L toe - I have several friends whose parents moved into Manhattan around the age of 60. They had pretty much retired and one couple even had the opportunity to move a few blocks from their new grandson. (It was great for the parents, who acquired babysitters!)
Beware, however: it is very very expensive. None of the retired couples have terribly large apartments, but they trade that for a life they love.
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Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13094
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 11:50 am: |
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I like the idea, too, and we might do that. Some parts of town have enough free parking that it can work. Or you could pay for parking. And if you don't pay, figure you'll need a garage and you'll pay some tickets occasionally.
Another idea for living in the city is to ditch the car but set aside some money for renting a car. It can still save money. That's what we did when I was growing up. Whenever we needed a car, we rented one or borrowed, and we didn't end up needing one often.
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Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2517
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 11:54 am: |
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Maybe consider Jersey City. I work here, near Exchange Place. The views of Manhattan are fantastic, and the transporation to NYC easy. A couple of people I work with live here; one's into the renovating a brownstone bought for comparative cheap thing; the other is in an apartment. We keep hearing JC is the next Hoboken, and prices begin to go up but are still not as bad as Hoboken or NYC.
If I didn't have a kid, we would've moved here! |
Innisowen
Citizen
Username: Innisowen
Post Number: 1745
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 11:59 am: |
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With all due respect, if one thinks of living in a city, why not think of Boston, or Chicago, or certain sections of Philadelphia?
They all have great downtown sections, great cultural attractions, and a sense of history and intimate downtown living.
I like NYC very much but also have found these other cities to be great places to live.
It's hard to find a city with better summers than Chicago or more convenience than Boston, or more of a sense of US history than Philadelphia. |
Handygirl
Citizen
Username: Handygirl
Post Number: 629
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 12:23 pm: |
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Lived in downtown Phili for three years and LOVED it. I would highly recommend Philadelphia. Much cheaper than NYC and a little less frantic - but obviously less to do than NYC. I guess there's always a trade-off. Weather in Chicago sucks in the winter and early spring - but summers are nice. |
Smarty Jones
Citizen
Username: Birdstone
Post Number: 480
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 12:29 pm: |
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Part of city living is not having to worry about a car, a yard, and all the BS of Suburban lifestyles...ditch it all, and move to a wonderful apt. on the UWS off of Riverside Park....you'll be tickled. |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 1115
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 1:38 pm: |
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We tried it. We spent some time staying in Manhattan, and also living in my mother's apartment in Astoria. We didn't like it--the noise, the dirt, the crowding, the traffic, etc. We were glad to come home to beautiful SO. Plus our children and grandchildren live near here. We can always go into the city if we want to, but increasingly, we don't want to. |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7154
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 5:57 pm: |
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One of the big advantages of living in the City after the children leave the nest is that you don't have to worry about home maintenance tasks (raking leaves/shoveling snow/climbing ladders, etc.) which become difficult as one gets older. Not having to drive a car to go from one point to another or having to climb stairs to go from one level of the house to another can be another plus.
The cultural activities in the City are attractive with all those world class attractions but with that come the crowds and the noise which can become difficult to get used to after living in a quieter, less congested area.
It is also far easier to be anonymous in the City (which might translate into lonely if you aren't the outgoing type (we're not). It can be much harder to get to know your neighbors in the City or get involved in community activities than it is here.
It really comes down to a question of lifestyle + health/mobility in deciding where you want to live after the children have grown. |
kathy
Citizen
Username: Kathy
Post Number: 1277
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 7:15 pm: |
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It's hard to find a city with better summers than Chicago--Say what?? Chicago is a lot colder than NJ in the winter and significantly hotter in the summer.
Than said, cities can be an interesting choice of retirement location. The NYTimes Magazine had a feature a year or two ago about Manhattan as the ultimate retirement destination. We were just speaking a couple of weeks ago to a couple (probably in their 70's) who had lived in SO when their kids were in school, later moved to West Orange, and have recently relocated to the Upper West Side near Lincoln Center. They are loving it! |
Miss L Toe
Citizen
Username: Miss_l_toe
Post Number: 478
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 9:30 pm: |
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Thanks for all the replies so far....it's very interesting reading.
However, my husband and I are not old biddies yet! I'm 44 and he's 45 so retirement is a few years into the future I hope! It's nice to have kids leaving the nest whilst we are still relatively young ourselves and we still have our health and zest.
I'd love to move to another part of the States eg. San Francisco - I can't stand the bitter cold winters - but for the forseeable future my husband's work is going to be in NYC.
The Jersey City idea is a good one, although it doesn't have the 'buzz' of Hoboken and for some reason I can't put my finger on, I think I'd feel less safe as a woman walking on my own after dark in parts of JC, yet feel fine doing this in Hoboken.
The more I think about it, the more attractive it seems to me to go and live in a more urban environment and feel more alive than I do living in a 'bedroom community' (our street is as dead as a dodo Monday to Friday as everyone commutes and there is no-one around). |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2524
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 6:45 am: |
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Miss L. Toe, I think JC is in transition -- and a weirdly shaped city. Along the Exchange Place area one finds many office buildings, and in each direction, comparatively new condo apartment buildings (towards Ellis Island, and the other way towards Hoboken). If I walk inland a couple of blocks at lunch, things look a lot like Philadelphia: brownstones in various states of renovation, a truly burgeoning selection of nice restaurants, bars and boutiques. Keep on going towards the downtown and some areas get rough and recalcitrantly poor. I think, all in all, that the changes going on are what make it a good deal. The one guy I work with (they have a toddler) really likes it as they are both kinda artsy. Lots of dog walkers and NYC/Hoboken refugees in their street. I'd check it out with a knowlegable realtor. The lightrail thing that connects Liberty State Park with JC with Hoboken and north is pretty useful. Newport Mall, Target and similar near Hoboken for that kind of shopping. But really, the views are breathtaking. A marina or two or three nearby.
I'm 52 this year, so you sure aren't a biddy! |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2525
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 6:46 am: |
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Safety -- the area near where I work and where the gentrification is afoot is well patrolled. I work late sometimes, and this is per the locals. |
Debby
Citizen
Username: Debby
Post Number: 2241
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 8:04 am: |
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Two couples in my family did this - one after retirement, and one before retirement. They took very different approaches, though.
My aunt and uncle missed city living terribly, but wanted the space for their massive book collection and rebounding grown children and their friends. They looked for a 3 bedroom on the upper west side, but realized they could only afford a 2. They wound up buying on Cabrini Boulevard in upper Manhattan - next to the Cloisters. It is a fun, safe, artsy neighborhood that has gotten more expensive recently, but is still very reasonable compared to, say, the west side below Harlem. They bought 2 adjoining apartments, and now have a 3 bedroom 2 bath, formal DR, LR, Library! and laundry room! all with Hudson river views. They are absolutely LOVING city life.
The other couple wanted to be in the center of it all, so compromised on space. They bought a studio apartment near Washington Sq. Park.
Both are very happy, and both kept their cars and pay for parking.
Good luck! |
WendyP
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 3343
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 9:51 am: |
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FWIW, I lived in Jersey City for 11 years before moving here--about 8 of them I was single--and never had any issues with safety. It's no more or less safe than NYC or Hoboken, IMHO. And I know there are some fabulous new apartment complexes that have gone up in the years since we've left. Lots of great things happening there down by the waterfront, as Cyn says.
I've often thought of going back to JC or to NYC when I retire (unlike you Miss L Toe, I'm 44 and my kids are 2, 5 and 7!) and although I think there are lots of great reasons for doing so, I've decided I'm retiring as far away from the city as I can get. My plan is to find a cute little place in Cape May, within walking distance to the beach so the grandkiddies can visit during the summer (if I'm still alive by the time there are grandkiddies!), and spend 8 months there enjoying everything the place has to offer. The other three (coldest) months I'll be looking for a place where it's nice and hot and dry, that's a complete and total change of scene from the Northeast coast, where I've spent all of my life--like maybe the deserts of Arizona or New Mexico.
Not that anyone asked what my plan was!  |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2527
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 9:58 am: |
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I love your plan, WendyP. We'd love to have a little place down near Lewes DE (take the ferry to Cape May) for 9 mos, and then go somewhere south for same reasons. |
WendyP
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 3344
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 10:00 am: |
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I almost forgot, I wanted to share another interesting little story as it regards to safety in JC.
In the entire 11 years I/we lived there, not much out of the ordinary happened. Our apartment was broken in to, a car was stolen.
Then we moved to Maplewood in August of '98. Like most newcomers we had questions about safety being in such close proximity to Newark and Irvington, but figured it certainly couldn't be any worse than JC.
Just before Thanksgiving of that year, only a couple of months after we moved in, when my first was only a little over a month old, my husband got held up at gunpoint in Memorial Park on his way home from work!
Ironic, eh? |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2528
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 10:07 am: |
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We really must convince Miss L Toe to visit the waterfront here. To my mind, it's far superior views etc. to what I experienced years ago when living in Brooklyn Heights (even).
I hear you on safety. I don't get very deep into JC cuz I'm mostly here to work, but my colleagues support your view. On woman lives in Montclair and is considering coming here. The PATH and ferries are like right here out front of the building. But, for now I'm suburban... |
WendyP
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 3347
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 10:14 am: |
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Hey Cyn, there was a thread here not long ago about a nice hotel on the waterfront in JC. I though I might like to do a weekend away there with the hubby and visit some of our old haunts, and explore some new ones. Maybe Miss L Toe and her hubby could try it. Can't remember the name though. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 2530
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 10:43 am: |
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There's a fairly fancy Hyatt right next to Exchange place, PATH, etc. Having drinks or meals in there, and looking at the view is pretty spiffy. Used to stay there when I just came up for 2 days a week. Rooms very nice, very swell indoor pool and exercise room. A lot of people I work with come in for the weekend with spouse/kids and stay there. Good restaurants at various price points within 4-6 blocks. Ellis Island etc. just down the road by light rail. PATH takes you in to NYC to Christopher St, downtown or Penn. Ferry (which is my preference) goes to WFO and Water Street area. Kinda good place to stay for "date" weekend if planning on going into NYC, too.
I sound like such a booster! But, really, if I were looking to move closer to the city I would look here. Hoboken is out of control. Plus, you can still buy/rent parking here, have a car. |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4184
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 1:34 pm: |
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That hotel sounds like a great overnight, even with the kids! |
WendyP
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 3366
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 1:38 pm: |
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I think it's a pretty sure thing that any place with an indoor pool is a good place to go with the kids. The water keeps them entertained for hours! |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4185
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 1:43 pm: |
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I know, but how much fun would that be to take them on the Path to the West Village for some dinner and go back to the pool for a swim. |
WendyP
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 3371
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 2:13 pm: |
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Yup, sounds cool to me. But maybe when they're a little older and less likely to run amok on the train! |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4187
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 2:30 pm: |
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Unfortunately all the dates I plugged in they're fully booked! |
Miss L Toe
Citizen
Username: Miss_l_toe
Post Number: 479
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 3:22 pm: |
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WendyP and Cynicalgirl....you're both doing a good job on converting me to JC ha ha! I'm still not exactly sure whereabouts these properties with the river views are located (I feel like bundling you both into my car and taking you out for lunch there so you can show me around JC LOL!). It would be great to be near NYC and also to be able to keep a car too.
I'm a little familiar with the Hyatt Hotel, friends stayed there and we had dinner there a few months ago on my husband's birthday....it's really nice there and has fabulous views.
http://jerseycity.hyatt.com/hyatt/hotels/index.jsp |
Miss L Toe
Citizen
Username: Miss_l_toe
Post Number: 480
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 3:39 pm: |
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Ooops - forgot to add that the new development around Exchange Place (which I thought was mainly office buildings, not residential?) reminds me very much of Docklands (Canary Wharf) area in east London, which used to be where the ships brought in goods from overseas until approx the late 1960s and for a time was basically a wasteland with inferior housing and services.
It's taken about 15-20 years to develop all the infrastructure there and it's still ongoing (including a fabulous Waitrose supermarket), hotels, shops, bars, the Docklands Light Railway, the short runway London City Airport and the extension to the Jubilee Line for the underground trains) but it's really popular with yuppie types and expats now who are working nearby and in the financial district of the City of London. It's mainly flats (apartments) many of them with views of the River Thames and prices have gone through the roof in the past few years.
So you really think JC could take off too? How interesting! |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2838
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 3:59 pm: |
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I would just get a map and drive along the river. I have friends in Hoboken and have driven to Newport Mall and see lots of realtor signs along the way. If you see a place you think looks interesting, call the realtor listed. They might have ideas on other properties in the area.
I have a dream of moving to San Francisco once the kids are out of school. Unfortunately they haven't even started school yet, so I have about 16 years to go. Hubster says I'd better start saving my money. |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 2839
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 4:06 pm: |
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One more thing...my friends in Hoboken both have interesting living situations.
My single friend owns a detatched home on Garden Street with 3 parking spaces! House is from 1890 and needed quite a bit of work, but it even has a patch of lawn. She probably paid about as much as a small home in SH.
Her brother is married with one child and recently bought a 3 family home in Hoboken. They are hopeing to eventually convert one of the other apartments into their living space making it a 2 family. They can only afford it with the renter income right now. But owning a multi-family could be another option.
Personally I'd rather have a flat right on the river! |
WendyP
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 3375
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 4:12 pm: |
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Miss L Toe, if you're buying lunch I'm happy to be your tour guide. And as far as JC "taking off," it's been doing that since the late 80's. As I said, so much happened in the 11 years I lived there, and so much more has happened in the almost 8 years since we've left. I'm kind of jealous, actually! |
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