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chiquita
Citizen
Username: Chiquita
Post Number: 78
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 1:47 pm: | 
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My husband has an opportunity to take an assignment (possibly for 2 years) in Bangalore. We are debating having him do a solo stint, with the family visiting for the entire summer and him making a couple of trips a year versus uprooting the whole family to go over there. Anyone have any experience either way? |
Handygirl
Citizen
Username: Handygirl
Post Number: 642
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 2:35 pm: |
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I travelled in India for 1 1/2 months (which most definitely is not the same as living there). Fantastic place to travel, but incredibly difficult at the same time. You will get sick, I've yet to meet a westerner that did not get Guardia or Dysentary at least once... I also lived and worked overseas for a few years (not in India). PL me if you want discuss. Expat life offers a great opportunity to immerse yourself in a different culture in a way that you can't do during a vacation, and could be a great learning experience for kids. I also expect that relocating to another country might be much more difficult when you have kids than when you are single (which I was). On the other hand, you can probably negotiate a pretty cushy life on the company's dime... And you can take lots of nice trips around the region (Nepal, Thailand, Indonesia, Japan). |
The Libertarian
Citizen
Username: Local_1_crew
Post Number: 1808
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 2:43 pm: |
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i had a friend who lived there for 2 years and he described the assimilation process this way:
you order soup at an outdoor table. the soup arrives with a fly in it.
if you have been in india less than 6 months you demand a whole new bowl of soup.
if you have been there more than 6 months but less than a year, you spoon out the fly and eat the soup.
if you have been there more than a year, you eat the fly, the soup, the whole thing. |
Mr. Big Poppa
Citizen
Username: Big_poppa
Post Number: 551
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 2:58 pm: |
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I worked there for 3 weeks in 1999, traveling to Mumbai, Delhi, Calcutta and Hyderbad. I've travelled extensively internationally and found India to be the greatest culture shock by far. I saw some beautiful sites, including the Taj, but dealing with the humidity, rains (monsoon season), extreme poverty and diseases (yes, I got majorly sick there) made me vow never to return!
Of course I just found out I will have to travel there again a few times over the next year since my department plans to open a regional office in Mumbai. I've heard it's changed significantly since '99, so I am actuallye excited to see the difference. |
Dave
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 9017
Registered: 4-1997
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 3:05 pm: |
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Sounds very exciting. Why not go live there? You probably won't have the opportunity again. |
Handygirl
Citizen
Username: Handygirl
Post Number: 643
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 3:25 pm: |
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Kids. That's one potential reason. Again, it is a very tough place to travel/live. It is an incredible place though. Amazing. But the poverty, illnesses and extreme weather conditions are tough for many westerners. I would go back by myself in a heartbeat, but I don't know if I would go with kids. |
Miss L Toe
Citizen
Username: Miss_l_toe
Post Number: 482
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 4:44 pm: |
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My husband had an expat colleague whom had to leave Bombay because after two years of being resident there, his health collapsed - he now has some sort of lifelong intestinal problem.
Perhaps there may be a way for the company to relocate you and the children to Singapore (approx 3 hours flight from Delhi) as the infrastructure there is excellent and it is a wonderful place to live as an expat. There is also the highly esteemed Singapore American School and other International schools. (Are there 'good' international schools now in Bangalore?) It would help sustain your marriage as the distance between India and Singapore isn't too restrictive.
When I lived there a Scottish friend on our condo lived with her children whilst her husband was working long-term in a remote part of peninsular Malaysia working for a pipeline company. She was on a long-term visitors pass which she was allowed to have on account of the children (Middle/High school ages) being on student passes. They lived in Singapore - "Asia for beginners" - for five years. Her husband would join her at the weekends or they would occasionally fly up to Cherating on the East coast (not far from where he worked) and stay at Club Med. |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 1472
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 4:44 pm: |
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I worked with a guy from India who desperately wanted to go back to India with his family but was concerned that his kids (born and raised in the US) would not be able to assimilate and be miserable. Now he was a native of India with family there but I guess my point is he had kids and WANTED to go back because he loved it. My co-worker gave me the impression that the middle class is growing exponentially there and things are cheap there. So I am under the impression you could live a relatively normal life there WITH kids. I wouldn't rule out living there with kids until I had done more research I guess. |
Just The Aunt
Supporter
Username: Auntof13
Post Number: 4517
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 4:53 pm: |
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One of my friends works for a company that has half of their employees in India. I can ask him if he could put you in touch with one of them. |
Darryl Strawberry
Supporter
Username: Strawberry
Post Number: 7007
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 4:53 pm: |
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Indiaria..no thanks. |
Mr. Big Poppa
Citizen
Username: Big_poppa
Post Number: 554
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 4:59 pm: |
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Straw, that's what i had when i was there....maybe the sickest i've ever been. |
Handygirl
Citizen
Username: Handygirl
Post Number: 644
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 5:05 pm: |
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The question for me wouldn't be whether or not I could find middle class accomodations that would be comfortable for the kids - because that shouldn't be a problem. Your lifestyle would likely be quite cushy. My concern would be schooling for the kids, the illnesses that the kids will likely get and the quality of the hospitals etc. Obviously, you will do some detailed research on Bangalore. After 6 months in Asia I had a weird stomach bug that lasted for several years. I never found out what it was and it eventually went away, but it sucked - for years. So, I would personaly go without kids, but not with kids (I'm backtracking a bit from my original post, I know). |
dOd
Citizen
Username: Dod
Post Number: 46
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 10:09 pm: |
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Of all the places I've lived in Asia, Bangalore is the one I'd go back to in a minute.
Prepare for serious culture shock/heat/humidity/dust/noise and humanity like you've never seen the moment you leave the airport. But once you have a chance to breathe the country gets to you like no other. It's almost as if you simultaneously love and hate it.
You will see the wealthiest people in the world living smack dab against the poorest. The world's largest illiterate population (at about 35%), but that also means the world's largest literate one. 5000 year old culture alongside colonial culture alongside modern culture with room for all.
Oh, and warn your husband, the men all hold hands in Bangalore.
Years from now, your kids will never forgive you if you don't take them on this adventure.
Best of luck.
dOd |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 1478
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 10:12 am: |
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As an adult now, I wish my parents would have taken me on an adventure of that magnitude. I would gladly take the risk of illness to experience such wonders. My brother was born in Japan. My sister in India. Myself...? Philly. And when I was a kid the closest I got to out of the country was visiting Niagra Falls at the age of like 3. I got to visit Florida a few times though. Yippee! I didn't get to experience anything interesting outside of the country until I made it happen for myself at age 17. I think I agree with dOd you should go for this once in a lifetime experience. My mother spent 3 months in India back in 1969 and still talks about the wonders she beheld. |
chiquita
Citizen
Username: Chiquita
Post Number: 79
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 11:47 am: |
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Thanks everyone for the responses. Illness is my biggest fear. We have traveled with the kids outside of the U.S.--Italy, Spain, England--but never to a place quite so unlike what they're used to. Just the Aunt--that would be great. I'll PL you later. |
mantram
Citizen
Username: Mantram
Post Number: 229
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 12:53 pm: |
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An American blogs from Bangalore:
http://www.thebangaloreblog.com/
You have to scroll down on some pages to see the text. |
dOd
Citizen
Username: Dod
Post Number: 47
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 5:57 pm: |
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You really have to take a big leap to go to India. I ate at places there that I wouldn't drive by here and there were many days when, um ... solid stool was a distant memory.
However, you get used to it pretty quickly. I took all my meals locally and put on weight as the food was so good.
Your kids will love it.
dOd |
doulamomma
Citizen
Username: Doulamomma
Post Number: 1293
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 6:59 pm: |
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FYI:
A Homeopathic Remedy Kit designed for those travelling off the beaten track in more exotic climes.
http://homeopathyworld.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=TK&Ca tegory_Code=K
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newbie
Citizen
Username: Newbie
Post Number: 3
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 11:03 pm: |
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If you've never been, I would find out if the company is willing to send you (and your kids?) there for a look-see. This is fairly common practice for many companies wanting to send people on expat postings. (A short visit to look at the town, potential places to live, schools etc.) See what you think, you may have strong feelings either way after going there.
India is a hard place to travel/live in. A book that really captures the ambivalence of being there as a foreigner (and an entertaining read) is 'Holy Cow' by Sarah Macdonald. We travelled there for a few months before kids, and my husband asked me if someone paid us a million dollars, would I move there. Even though we had an amazing trip, my answer was no. I didn't think I could live with the extreme in-your-face poverty. Maybe things have changed, but back then, even if you were travelling in luxury, how could you enjoy it when you had kids with no limbs begging from you at every traffic light? The only thing would be to become immune, and that was something I didn't want to do...
That said, I hear the middle class is growing and keep reading about how India is the next big place...things are changing and Bangalore is at the center of it. |
dOd
Citizen
Username: Dod
Post Number: 48
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 6:50 am: |
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When I lived in Bangalore, I was one of the few expats around and I went everywhere. As we approached my hotel on the first day I asked my driver why there were people laying in the street. He said they had nothing. At the end of the day they simply fell down wherever they were and in the morning they would rise and start walking again.
India demands a reaction from you pretty damn quickly. I've seen it practically kill people unprepared to accept the country on her own terms. (Don't get me started on the bitching of the expats complaining because the "milk isn't like it is at home.")
Yes, there is extreme poverty and begging. Seen in little children it can be heartbreaking. Oh well... deal with it. Hand out rupees or ignore them. Start a mission or hire more servants. It's futile to try and isolate yourself from the experience of the country. I think it's nuts that people go to foreign countries and eat at McDonalds.
Funny thing, within reason, I would send my kids out safely throughout the streets of Bangalore. Can't say that about about some of the towns minutes from here.
My only point here is that you have to accept India. To fight it will kill you.
dOd |
Miss L Toe
Citizen
Username: Miss_l_toe
Post Number: 483
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 11:17 am: |
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dOd - You have just reminded me of something. Some good friends of ours had a couple of postings in India, Bombay and in Madras. Their house was a large colonial one and of course they had plenty of locals working for them to tend to the house.
John was alarmed when his wife had taken on their *twelfth* helper! She felt so sorry for the desitute locals that she couldn't refuse when she was approached and they begged her to employ them.....they all lived in an outhouse and John and Maria knew they were supported many families.
Their son attended a local school aimed at expats and the local 'elite' families. He was shocked at how far ahead all the Indian children were in their maths compared to the pupils from other nationalities, yet his son had been to international private schools in Dubai and the British School in Manila. John is diabetic and has insulin jabs every day and he was fairly lucky with his health in India, but he's now in Singapore and the family is much happier there.
In a similar vein, my Scottish friend Linda left Singapore to go on another expat posting in Makati, Manila, Philippines and lived in a lovely 4-bedroomed house in a secured compound. In Singapore she had one live-in housemaid. At the house in Manila the maids came with the rented house.....there were two full-time live-in maids, a 'part-time' washer-woman for the laundry, a guy for the swimming pool and garden and a driver. It drove her nuts and she felt that she was being observed all the time! The maids weren't productive and spent most of their time in the kitchen chatting and drinking coffee. Linda was getting through copious amounts of laundry detergent and realised that it was probably being taken outside the home by the maids. We were in their car when the driver smashed it up....it turned out that he had been quietly drinking vodka all day....
Some people love the idea of having lots of live-in domestic helpers and others can't stand what they perceive as an invasion of their privacy. You have to think whether or not you can cope with this.....it's almost mandatory to have domestic help when you live in third world countries. |
Flik Chik
Citizen
Username: Flikchik
Post Number: 187
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 12:26 pm: |
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I worked in India for around 4 months in 2004 on a consulting engagement. I am Indian, have lived in the US for a long time and this is my unbiased assessment of the experience. If I had kids that were over 5 years old and got an opportunity to work in India temporarily - I would grab it with both hands. Of course, it has to be worth my while to do so. Evaluate the opportunity from a career perspective and if it makes sense, grab it. You will love the experience.
Advantages:
Domestic Help
$ goes a loooong way
Good schools for expats - work makes arrangements to get your kids into the most exclusive schools in town
Ability to travel and live in India and South East Asia - believe me - you will have the $$ and the time to do both.
Children will enjoy the experience.
Disadvantages
Temporary stomach disorders - you will get used to it.
Dirt, poverty and squalor
Crowds everywhere
Infrastructure issues - frequent blackouts, water shortages etc. (This probably will not affect you as you will live in a building that will be pretty self-sufficient).
Write to me for further details.... |
dOd
Citizen
Username: Dod
Post Number: 49
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 3:20 pm: |
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At the very least Chiquita could finally meet the person who answers the phone when she calls PSE&G here.
dOd |
chiquita
Citizen
Username: Chiquita
Post Number: 80
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 6:37 pm: |
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Miss L Toe--I probably fall into the category of seeing it as an invasion of privacy. I could deal with someone stopping by once a week--I can't see having a live-in or someone daily. |
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