| Author |
Message |
    
Phenixrising
Citizen
Username: Phenixrising
Post Number: 1522
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, April 6, 2006 - 12:57 pm: | 
|
Talbot's perhaps is NOT the way to go. Lane Bryant designs for tall, large sized women. OK, for a start, here are some suggestions for Linda.
   
All can be found at http://www.lbcatalog.com/lbcatalog/layout/layout.asp? the Lane Bryant Catalog
Ditch the gray & brown wig for a lighter color brown.
Hmmm… since she's older, I think she should go short on the hair styles. Here are some wig suggestions. Then again, it all depends on the shape of her face.
  
 
As far as jewerly, check-out Target's. They've revamped the jewelry collection and the price is just right!
If all has failed, go to this site http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/whatnottowear/whatnottowear.html |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 1642
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 6, 2006 - 1:32 pm: |
|
Phenix is right.
Talbot's is not the way to go for a woman of Linda's size.
Lane Bryant...OR, preferably, the women's departments of the larger department stores would be a better bet, I think.
Nordstrom has shoes in large sizes (I know this all too well) as does Zappos.com.
And Sephora!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take her to Sephora!
|
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 5973
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 6, 2006 - 5:16 pm: |
|
Wow - everyone, thanks for all this advice.
I will ask her about her clothes and if she's happy with them.
|
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 5974
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 6, 2006 - 5:21 pm: |
|
We should start a show, "MOL Eye for the Transvestite Guy"! |
Lydia
Supporter
Username: Lydial
Post Number: 1751
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, April 6, 2006 - 6:35 pm: |
|
Some transvestites just phone it in - you wanna be a woman? Fine. Just don't do it half-way and wonder why people pause to look.
It takes more than painting your nails and wearing high heels.
If you're planning to be accepted as a woman you have to put out the full-court woman effort.
That means: good haircuts, color, waxes if needed.
I've known trannies that put "real" women to shame, and then some...well, if you still look like a guy wearing a dress - that's cool, but people are going to gawk.
BTW - Linda will be fine in Maplewood - I know 2 trannies who live here and they get by just fine.
|
Duncan
Supporter
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 6160
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 9:20 am: |
|
and spaghetti...as long as you are so interested in proper usage as is evident from this bit
Quote:Mem...it is she and I, not her and I.
the double check your own posts as in this bit later in the same paragraph...
Quote:No one her is going to be in your faces
I am sure you meant no one here is going to be.... but we must be consistent, no?
Mem...have a blast, make sure she wears a scarf or something to cover her adam's apple and that she dress well and all will be fine. Have fun! |
C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 2523
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 11:06 am: |
|
Umm, why are you outing your friend Linda? Isn't it her perogative (and, as a transvestite, perhaps her delight) to decide when and to whom to reveal herself?
Yes, Maplewood is a fine place to play. But I'm not sure you're doing Linda any favors by creating a zoo-ish atmosphere. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the way I see it. |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 5986
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 11:38 am: |
|
Umm, why am I "outing" my friend Linda? Because she's "out" already! Stupid, stupid question.
I don't care about your silly harshness but as a result of this thread I have found there will NOT be a zooish atmosphere. You are the 1st to berate and condescend, exactly what we are trying to avoid. |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 5987
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 11:41 am: |
|
Duncan and everyone - Thanks! We are now not worried at all. |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7222
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 4:45 pm: |
|
Have a great time.
Regarding clothes shopping: If you do decide to take Linda clothes shopping to work on the fashion statement, it may be a good idea to make an appointment with a personal shopper if Linda isn't ready to do dressing rooms in women's departments just yet (or if some of the women in adjactent dressing rooms aren't quite ready for Linda). That way you may be able to arrange for a more private area in which to try on different looks. As an added bonus, the personal shopper may have some experience with taller/larger ladies and come up with some good fashion suggestions. |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3702
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 5:06 pm: |
|
mem: Just remember to shave and nobody will stare.
-s. |
C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 2526
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 5:36 pm: |
|
Here's a funny thing about being out. You can't just come out once and be done with it. Unless you decide to wear a sign on your forehead that reads "I'm a transvestite." or "I'm a lesbian." or "I'm homosexual." People in the GLBT community have a choice as to whether or not to come out everytime they meet someone new. And sometimes they choose to wait for a wide variety of reasons. But THEY CHOOSE.
My spouse, who is out virtually everywhere (as am I) notes that she would be "incredibly offended" if a friend introduced her to others as "my lesbian friend." There's a lot more to each of us than whether we are straight or gay or transvestite or whatever. But essentially you've told the world "This is my transvestite friend Linda." How would it sound to you if you introduced someone as your Jewish friend? |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13491
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 7:45 pm: |
|
That's a great point, Cathy, worth considering and remembering.
But I see a difference. mem is asking how to deal with a situation in the near future. She is not introducing Linda to anyone as anything. We are not meeting Linda here, and that may not be her real name, either.
|
Lydia
Supporter
Username: Lydial
Post Number: 1761
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 8:23 pm: |
|
Tom,
I had a friend who moved from NYC to NC and fretted she was "the only Jew" in the Carolinas via e-mails.
She "passes" and sometimes she "outs" herself, but it's her decision -
if "Linda" saw the thread and is cool with it, that's fine, but if LInda is unaware of the thread than I don't think that's fair to her - particularly because she's coming to a town where she doesn't know anyone. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13499
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 8:27 pm: |
|
The Amish have a rule against talking about people who are not present. We don't. (Or do you?) I respect the rule and wish we could live by it, but I don't know how.
If no one who reads this thread walks up to mem and Linda (who might be easy to recognize this weekend) and says, "Hi, mem, this must be Linda your transvestite friend!" then I think everything will be OK.
|
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1512
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 8:30 pm: |
|
Funny you say that, Tom. I just got back from Cent'anni where I bumped into Mem and her transvestite friend. I said, "Hi, Linda, this must be Mem your transvestite friend!" It was so embarrassing.  |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 1661
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 8:36 pm: |
|
I would venture to say that Linda is not her real name. Just a hunch. Don't know too many men named Linda. I would wager this is a name she chose for herself when she decided to try this new mode of dress. |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7231
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 8:41 pm: |
|
Cathy:
If someone were to introduce me as being their Jewish friend it wouldn't upset me in the least. Being Jewish is an integral part of who I am and I see nothing negative about my Jewishness. If Linda is comfortable about being a transvestite then being introduced as such shouldn't pose a problem.
What concerns me more about this thread is that Mem has found it necessary to comment publically over the internet about Linda's lack of ability to dress as well as she might in carrying forth her gender transformation. I might be very hurt if I were to come across such a post about my dress or grooming were I to find it on the internet.
I really hope Mem cleared what she said with Linda before she started this thread, especially since MOLers she may run into in the village this evening are apt to mention the thread in conversation, assuming that Linda knows all about it. |
N. Bonaparte
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2300
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 9:29 pm: |
|
What people in their right mind would mention the thread to Linda? Can't disagree more heartily.
Hope you had a good time Mem and hope my directions to Linda got her there eventually. (Evening here is fine once we got past a particular argument - tell you more some time)
Cheers (I'm radiating mem thoughts - who'd a thunk?) |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 3707
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 9:34 pm: |
|
Please don't worry. Just about everything mem posts is well thought through, cleared for publication in advance, and reliably truthful. Especially her recipes for domestic animals...
-s. |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 5990
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 9:09 am: |
|
I talked to Linda about all this, and she couldn't care less about this thread, much less MOL. Yes, there ARE people who have bigger fish to fry and don't care about all this! Shocking, huh?
But thanks for your opinions anyway.
We had a great time.
No one introduced Linda as "their transvestite friend", but thanks for assuming we're a bunch of morons. And her outfit looked pretty good last night, I think she may be getting the hang of it. Her purse was awful though.
Cheers all! |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 5991
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 9:15 am: |
|
Wendy - Thank you! Very much.
The food at HTTA was awesome. We'll be back of course. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1513
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 9:44 am: |
|
Sorry to say meeting Linda last night was a bit disappointing. She ate and drank like the rest of us, people didn't accost her to inquire if she was a transvestite, there was no sudden hush when she entered the room. It was just so usual.
Actually, I am glad I had some advanced notice about Linda. Knowing what I knew helped to ensure I wasn't facsinated by meeting her; I had a chance to be myself without being curious and had the opportunity to experience a friend of Mem's - always a treat.
Wise choice to post, Mem. Thank you. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1514
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 9:56 am: |
|
Mem, about Linda's purse: my friend Ess bought me a new purse. Actaully, she said she bought it for herself because she was sick of looking at mine. No offense taken. Might work for you. |
Debby
Citizen
Username: Debby
Post Number: 2265
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 9:59 am: |
|
Glad you had fun.
Tom hit on a wording issue before, but it sort of changed direction from the question I had.
My understanding is that Linda, and people like her, are transgendered. That is, they are changing or experimenting with their gender identity. Transvestitism is the practice of wearing the other sex' clothing for erotic purposes.
(BTW: when Linda ended up with a black eye, I hope it was from the pavement, not a passer-by?) |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 5993
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 10:01 am: |
|
Thank YOU las, for getting the reason why I posted (to kind of prepare people), and for being the absolutely wonderful gal that you are.
|
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1516
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 4:44 pm: |
|
I've been thinking about this thread a lot today. I generally agree that defining anyone in any fashion is inappropriate. But the truth is, I get curious - I'm sure we all get curious about people who are different. If I see someone who doesn't look or sound typical I take notice ("typical" of course, being relative to my own experiences).
Linda wasn't introduced as anyone but Linda - no descriptive adjectives. Yet, knowing ahead of time I would meet a 6' man dressed as a woman helped to ensure I wasn't morbidly staring trying to ascertain her "true" gender; wasn't trying to determine if Mem was playing a joke; didn't have to stumble while getting comfortable with pronouns during small talk. We were just people enjoying one another.
I don't think this is a label or a judgment issue so much as a heads-up. I would classify this thread in the same category as having been told ahead of time someone was bringing her mother.
But heck - having shared a bed for fourteen years with an obsessive-compulsive, closeted gay man who occasionally wet the bed, I tend to be a bit more tolerant of peoples' differences than most.  |
ken (the other one)
Citizen
Username: Ken
Post Number: 390
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 5:40 pm: |
|
mem play a joke, never! |
N. Bonaparte
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2303
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 7:03 pm: |
|
mem eats jokes and other wild things, she doesn't play them. Silly ken. |
jersey Boy
Citizen
Username: Jersey_boy
Post Number: 447
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 1:45 pm: |
|
As I drove and walked around this weekend, I found myself wondering if any of the women I saw in Maplewood were actually "Linda."
Am I a goofball or a doofus?
J.B. |
C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 2539
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 6:51 pm: |
|
No, JB, you're just doing what I thought might come of Mem's outing of her friend: looking for the Transsexual or Transvestite. Natural curiosity but not necessarily the most civilized thing for you or Linda.
"Hey, d'ja see the new exhibit at Turtleback this weekend? Way cool!"
"Yeah, I did, like totally exotic! Never seen that around here before."
Mem, you probably think I'm just uptight. Truth is I was trying to look out for Linda's interests. Glad you all had a good time. And I'm doubly glad that you spoke to Linda about the concerns I raised. At least she had fair warning. |
akb
Citizen
Username: Akb
Post Number: 404
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 8:22 pm: |
|
Lydia, off topic I know but in response to your friend, there are lots of Jews in NC. I worked in a public interest law office in Durham which closed for all Jewish holidays as we had so many religious Jewish employees. Your friend is either kidding, in a completely backwoods area, or choosing to feel an outsider. |
Closed: New threads not accepted on this page