| Author |
Message |
    
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5246
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 8:53 am: | 
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I just found out my best friend is very sick and is in the hospital. That leaves her hubby alone with three kids under five. What can I send to him? They don't live in NJ, so I can't go over to help. |
kriss
Citizen
Username: Kriss
Post Number: 283
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 9:15 am: |
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Maybe call a local deli or grocery store and send over a platter - lunchmeat, cheese, etc., or bagel, cream cheese, etc.
I'm sorry about your friend. Hope she recovers soon.
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Handygirl
Citizen
Username: Handygirl
Post Number: 666
Registered: 2-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 9:48 am: |
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I would definitely send at least one meal to the house, and some magazines/books to the hospital.
My thoughts are with you and your friend. |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 135
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 9:55 am: |
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alazing.com
They do family meals etc - good quality, they will receive them all frozen so in the freezer until needed...
I wish your friend a swift recovery...
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red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5249
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 12:27 pm: |
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Thanks everyone for the great ideas... |
soresident
Citizen
Username: Soresident
Post Number: 370
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 5:43 pm: |
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Don't know if your friend has family in the area where she lives that will be pitching in. If not (and I realize that this may be hard long distance but...) if you anticipate that she will be in the hospital more than a few days, you might offer to arrange for household help (cleaning service, someone to do laundry). If no family but there's any type of network out there that has offered to help (neighbors, religious community), could you coordinate meal delivery, babysitting offers, laundry offers, to relieve husband of having to deal with this? You could accomplish all the latter by email.
Sending positive thoughts to your friend. |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 137
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 5:49 pm: |
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Where does your friend live? You never know, with the network of people on MOL, maybe someone knows that town or knows someone who lives there who will know people/businesses to contact there who may able to help etc....
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red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5260
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 7, 2006 - 7:35 pm: |
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True, she has actually met someone that moved from South Orange to her town. She is going to be down and out for a very long time. I am going to fly and help as much as possible, but she will need some help; cleaning, babysitting etc. |
Just The Aunt
Supporter
Username: Auntof13
Post Number: 4639
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 12:04 am: |
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Red I hope your friend feels better. |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7233
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 7:55 am: |
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Have you asked her hubby what you can do to help? That way you would have a clearer idea of what support the family is already receiving (and doesn't need duplicated) and what they may still need that you could help with -- even long distance.
A really great way to help your friend (assuming there is a phone in her hospital room and she is able to use it) is to telephone her regularly and ask how she is doing. She will appreciate the concern and the social contact. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5261
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 8:08 am: |
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I haven't had a chance to talk to her hubby yet. I am at a loss what to do. She wasn't feeling well, went to a walk-in clinic, found out she has cancer. Everyone right now is in such shock. I don't want to be to "pesty"; but I want to help out any way I can. |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 138
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 8:15 am: |
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Keep in touch. Let the whole family know that you are there. At times like this, some people can't handle the thought of their friend suffering and tend to back away which is the worst thing you can do... she needs you. THEY need you.
You sound a great friend, she is lucky to have you, keep up the good work...
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Kibbegirl
Citizen
Username: Kibbegirl
Post Number: 454
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 8:39 am: |
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When my grandmother was ill in another state, my Mom and my Aunt there to help her. My Aunt was the one who really pitched in the most with cleaning the house, shopping, etc. My Aunt loves movies, so I would send her Blockbuster gift cards so she could either watch movies with my grandmother and/or when she got a break from helping out, watch a movie while my grandmother was resting. She and my grandmother really enjoyed this relaxation time together. I was thinking that perhaps the kids would enjoy Blockbuster gift cards to take their mind off of Mommy being ill. Getting out of the house, picking out a movie together and laughing a bit is very cathartic. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5266
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 8:43 am: |
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Thanks, that is a great suggestion. I am definitely going to send something for the entire family; because everyone is going to be going through this. The kids are so young, all five and under. I just pray she can beat this. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5270
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 10:47 am: |
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Any other ideas? I spoke to her this morning, and they already have meals for a month from neigbors, her mom got her a cleaning service..... |
Soparents
Citizen
Username: Soparents
Post Number: 141
Registered: 5-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 8:36 am: |
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I don't know if this is something that the hospital will allow, some do and some don't.... can you organise a manicure/pedicure, or some other kind of pampering for her in the hospital? It will do wonders for her morale.... It seems like the essentials at home food/clean etc have been taken care of, so maybe a little something for her? Also, how about sending her a tape recorder with a taped message from you? Send her a new tape on a regular basis with the silly things going on, or the funny things that someone said to you, and always finish it with a personal message.. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1524
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 9:03 am: |
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Keep writing her. She wants your words. Send her cards and notes c/o the hospital so she gets mail delivered to her. See if you can do this daily.
And stay connected with her children. They are most important to her. Knowing her children are okay will help her more than you can imagine.
And don't forget to ask for help. You can't manage two families.
Hugs. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5282
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 12:58 pm: |
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Thanks guys, I was thinking of the manicure/pedicure. She can't take a shower for the next few weeks poor thing... |
Mummite
Citizen
Username: Mummite
Post Number: 231
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 1:23 pm: |
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Start sending her a joke in the mail every week. (Or something equally small and trivial.) It'll be something sweet to look forward to and share with her visitors..."my silly friend Red sent me ANOTHER joke...." |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7241
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, April 9, 2006 - 2:22 pm: |
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Stay connected. Let her and the family know that you are there for her. If she has a hobby or interest that can be pursued while she is the hospital and/or recuperating at home, it could go a long way towards getting her mind off her illness. Look for something that doesn't require a long attention span: magazines rather than books; crossword puzzles rather than 1000 piece jigsaws, etc. If she is allowed plants in the hospital (some hospitals don't allow them), think of a potted flowering plant like an azalea rather than cut flowers which will wilt quickly.
Phone calls, letters, tapes (if she has a means of playing them) are all great ideas. If she is allowed and has a lap top in her room, set a time (flexible)for IM chat, send interesting links, etc.
Here's hoping her hospital stay is short and that the cancer was caught in time for minimal treatment to be all that is needed. My prayers are with you.
Joan |
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