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Astoria Mover
Citizen
Username: Astoria_mover
Post Number: 3
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 10:20 am: | 
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Hi --
Hope it's okay to ask this sort of thing here. We're considering moving and I'm trying to get more of a sense of what life is like in Maplewood (and South Orange, although there seem to be fewer houses in our price range there).
Where we are now: We live in Astoria in Queens, and I work all the way downtown. My husband is a stay at home dad (at least for now) and our kids are 6 and 8 (1st and 2nd grade). Things that work for us where we are: a real sense of community, a diverse neighborhood, people around that are from same area and speak same language as DH (former-Yugoslavia), kids' school. Things that don't work so well: since my company moved all the way downtown, commute has gotten rough for me; not enough space in our house; not a lot of open space or feeling of fresh air.
A lot about Maplewood (and South Orange) seems very appealing. We could get a significantly bigger house and more outdoor space for a price we could afford (especially with amount of equity in the house now). The schools look great. The commute would be pretty good for me -- not any worse, a bit better in some ways. There seems to be a real sense of community, etc.
Hodge-podge of things I wonder about and would love any thoughts, observations, responses, etc.
DH Issues:
Would DH as a SAHD feel comfortable?
Is there any significant immigrant population -- particularly from former-Yugoslavia, other Balkan places, Greece, Russia or other Eastern Europeans that he'd relate to?
How much life is there in the community during the daytime on weekdays?
Kid Issues:
Kids so far have been raised tri-lingual: English, Serbo-Croatian, Greek (school) -- where we live it's a commonplace for kids to speak multiple languages -- will it be a weirdness in Maplewood?
Is there much opportunity for unstructured kid play and interaction? One of the nice things about where we are now is that we're on a common driveway in the back of our house and that provides a safe, protected (albeit asphalt) place for the kids on our part of the block to run free to a degree that's virtually unknown in the city and probably not too common elsewhere either. I guess I fear the over-scheduled, activity driven pattern I associate with middle/upper-middle class suburban life.
Me issues:
I've heard Maplewood/SO/Montclair described as Park Slope or UWS atmosphere, and having grown up on the UWS and lived in PS, that works for me. But, well, hmmmm, you see ... I've actually lived in NYC just about my entire life and, well, I guess I'd have to learn to, uhm ... DRIVE if we moved. Okay, I'm resigned to that because even where we are now not driving is a pain and casts DH as family chauffeur more than makes sense. But if we were to move sooner rather than later, is it possible to survive at least a little bit without driving? Is the jitney strictly a commuter thing, or does it run on weekends so you can get to the village area? Also, any experiences learning to drive at 45? Nah, didn't think so.
Overall, I guess the thing I'd most like to hear about, and that may be the hardest to answer, is whether there's the kind of diversity in the area that would make a sort of difficult to characterize family like ours comfortable -- not just racial diversity, but ethnic/country-of-origin, economic, language, and educational diversity?
Probably unanswerable, but any thoughts would be most, most welcome.
Thanks,
Rebecca |
davidbuckley
Citizen
Username: Davidbuckley
Post Number: 578
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 10:26 am: |
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We moved here in 11/97 from Astoria; it is wonderful and lovely but it is expensive. I love living here and believe that as long as you know what you're getting into in terms of taxes you will find the "D" you want and will enjoy/thrive. Will your DH be able to chat in SC at the playground? Probably not. Will you find a warm welcoming community that is a lovely place to have/raise kids? Yes.
Be well and PL if you want more color/opinions.
Be well, all.
David |
davidbuckley
Citizen
Username: Davidbuckley
Post Number: 579
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 10:27 am: |
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Also, it's always ok to ask almost anything on MOL, btw...
Ask well, all.
David |
mjh
Supporter
Username: Mjh
Post Number: 486
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 10:41 am: |
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RE: The kids:
Clinton school is the ESL-designated elementary school for our district, and there are loads of ESL students there. Don't know about Serbo-Croatian or Greek specifically, but I don't think they would be weirdos at all. In fact, they are more likely to be celebrated. There are lots of events/projects that celebrate our diversity (e.g. the annual "international dinner" and our "Clinton Cookbook"). Fourth graders did a poster project this year related to immigration and family background, cultural celebrations and events, etc. We've had musical shows with different ethnic groups putting together some musical presentation of their culture.
My son sometimes feels like a "weirdo" at Clinton because he is so....well........non-ethnic? Is that a word? Mutt? Whitebread? Whatever..............In any case, we love the mix, and I think it is a very positive thing for him.
Don't know if your kids would qualify as ESL students, but you could consider looking in the district if you are specifically interested in this aspect of the schools. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7500
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 10:52 am: |
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I can't address the kid thing, but our friends are a one-car, NYC wife who doesn't drive couple. They don't have kids, so child-driving related weekend tasks (birthday parties, play dates, etc.) are not something that they have to deal with.
You can walk pretty much anywhere in town, but it probably would be convenient for you to learn to drive. Since your hubby is a SAHD, I'm assuming that he does the grocery shopping, etc., that requires running around in a car. We also have Peapod (a poor relative of Fresh Direct). So, I think that you could get by without driving for a little while.
I wouldn't worry about learning to drive at 45; most people in NJ who have been driving for 20 years don't know how to drive......
There was a thread awhile back on a dad's group or a SAHD thing. Maybe someone will chime in on that.
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Just The Aunt
Supporter
Username: Auntof13
Post Number: 4892
Registered: 1-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 11:07 am: |
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Also get in touch with the Newcommers Club. I'm sure you'd fit in either South Orange or Maplewood just fine. There are so many different combinations of 'family,' none of the things you mentioned is considered a big deal here. Welcome to town! |
anotherkittie
Citizen
Username: Anotherkittie
Post Number: 13
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 11:10 am: |
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We moved here from Brooklyn in August 2004. It's great here. I'm a SAHM now, and there is enough to keep busy during the weekdays. Between playing with your children, working around the house, and DRIVING around you will not know where the days have gone.
My husband was a SAHD for about 6 months when our son was a baby. And I do know at least two other SAHDs right in my neighborhood.
The jitney does not run on weekends. We live close enough to town to walk, and perhaps that might be something you would look for in a house. That said, you would probably eventually want to learn to drive. It's fun. Although, as another poster said, NJ driving is a world unto it's own. But if you are commuting into the city, it wouldn't be so urgent. You can jitney or walk to the train, and on the weekends you will have to rely on your husband.
It's a nice diverse place. Our block alone has three mixed race families (that I know of), a gay family, older parents, AA family, you name it.
Good luck. |
Newneighbor
Citizen
Username: Newneighbor
Post Number: 117
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 11:38 am: |
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what does ESL school mean? |
Jersey Boy
Citizen
Username: Jersey_boy
Post Number: 662
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 11:42 am: |
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English as a Second Language. ESL.
J.B. |
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1464
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 11:42 am: |
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ESL = English as Second Language |
Jersey Boy
Citizen
Username: Jersey_boy
Post Number: 663
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 11:45 am: |
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Beat you to it!
J.B. |
Astoria Mover
Citizen
Username: Astoria_mover
Post Number: 4
Registered: 5-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 12:35 pm: |
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Thanks for the responses.
And, no, the kids definitely wouldn't go in ESL since English is a first language for them.
Any thoughts on the unstructued play issue? Do kids get together in each other's yards informally/spontaneously or play in the street?
Thanks,
Rebecca |
dave23
Citizen
Username: Dave23
Post Number: 1708
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 12:38 pm: |
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My daughter had a good amount of unstructured/spontaneous play with the neighborhood kids. It's a great thing. We're lucky to have neighbors of a similar age to her.
Good luck in your search. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7507
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 12:40 pm: |
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I think that it depends on who else is in the neighborhood. Right now, there are about 10 young kids on my block, but they aren't old enough to be out by themselves. The are always out riding bikes or walking to the park with their parents, however.
When we first moved here, there were some bigger kids who ran back and forth to each others' houses a lot. Most neighbors are close, form friendships and drop in on each other. Parents can better answer your question specifically, tho. |
MeAndTheBoys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 3631
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 12:46 pm: |
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Depends on how many kids are in your neighborhood, and what the ages are. I think it happens, but maybe less so than when I was a kid, just because we're all more security conscious. There are lots of kids in our neighborhood that get together between yards, just not so much for my kids, because none of the kids their age are immediate neighbors. Usually I need to walk them back and forth, but mostly because right now they are only 7.5, 5.5 and 2.5. As they get older, they will be able to go back and forth a bit on their own. On the next block over, three boys my oldest is friends with live next door to each other, and I know they are able to run back and forth between the yards.
As for playing in the street, I think there are very few streets that are not fairly busy, and we do have somewhat of a chronic speeding problem here. If you look for a cul-de-sac--of which I am aware of very few--or a street that doesn't go "through" to anywhere (again, there are very few of those), the kids might play in the street. |
dave23
Citizen
Username: Dave23
Post Number: 1710
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 12:49 pm: |
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MeAnd is right about the streets. One of the great things about Maplewood is the relative dearth of fences. That makes it easy for everyone to scamper among the yards. |
bto
Citizen
Username: Bto
Post Number: 42
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 12:59 pm: |
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There are lots of SAHDs in Maplewood/South Orange. They even have a group that meets onece a month at a local diner. |
Morrisa da Silva
Citizen
Username: Mod
Post Number: 446
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 1:03 pm: |
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When we first moved to Maplewood (10 years ago) I did not drive and my husband did. For about 7 months until I got my license I made do. Out house was walking distance to town and train (15-20 minute walk) and I found dry cleaner that picked up and delivered. Grocery shopping was done on weekends when my DH was home. Things got simpler when I did learn to drive but it was o.k.
There is a certain amount of unstructured play for your kids depending on where you live and the age-makeup of the neighbors. We lucked out and there were a number of similar aged kids on our block. There are also weekend T-ball, baseball, and soccer rec leagues as well as some nice park playgrounds all in our two towns.
There is a lot of diversity but not a significant yugoslavian/easter european or greek immigrant population that I am aware of. Just a lot of different families with varied backgrounds. BTW, there is a really great Greek Food Store in Kennilworth, NJ -(about a 15 minute ride on the Garden State Parkway).
Good Luck in whatever you decide. |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 1191
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 1:07 pm: |
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I grew up in Astoria--attended Junior High 126 and Long Island City High School in the old building. My mother lived in her Queensview apartment for more than 50 years, until her death at age 93. I'm a generation older than you are. We've lived in Maplewood's sister town--South Orange-since 1969. There have been a lot of changes since we've been here--most of them for the better. The towns have become diverse, home to all kinds of people. I don't think that anyone is considered weird. I know for a fact that there are quite a few SAHDs. My husband was sort of a SAHD. As a college professor, he had a lot of time at home.
As far as learning to drive, it's really a must. If you don't drive you are dependant upon other people to take you where you need to go. Kids have activities and make friends all over town, and you need to be able to take them. You need to get to doctors and shops and supermarkets. I didn't know how to drive when we moved here, so I signed up with a driving school. They walked me through the written test, taught me how to drive and park, and took me to the road test. It was quick and painless, and less fraught with emotion than having a family member teach you.
As far as being too old to learn to drive, my mother-in-law learned to drive when she was 60 years old. She was moving to Florida and didn't want to have to "ride on the old people's bus" when she wanted to go out. She also went to driving school, and for the next 20 years burned up the roads in West Palm Beach, and never had an accident. |
Alleygater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 1832
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 1:54 pm: |
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bto: I believe that group you are talking about is a Father's group that meets at the diner once a month, and not exclusive to SAHD. Although I haven't been, but I was thinking about attending in the future. |
Seagull
Citizen
Username: Seagull
Post Number: 88
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 2:05 pm: |
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Rebecca,
As far as the unstructured play... there are some great parks in the area. I'd recommend looking at houses within walking distance of one to allow your kids the opportunity to free-play and socialize there.
Good luck with the house hunting! |
summerbabe
Citizen
Username: Summerbabe
Post Number: 76
Registered: 7-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 2:19 pm: |
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As a transplanted resident of NYC (we lived there for 11 years), I have to say that I absolutely love Maplewood and am really glad that we chose to make it our home.
I was born in Pennsylvania, and I am part Polish (mom's side) and part Slovenian (dad's side). I grew up attending a Croatian Catholic school because my parents thought that staying in touch with Eastern European/Balkan heritage was important. As a kid, I didn't feel weird at all. If anything, being able to sing Christmas carols in a not-often-heard language and do folk dances made me more interesting when I got to high school. So I don't think you have anything to worry about as far as your kids go -- especially in Maplewood, where individuality seems to really be celebrated.
The other really good thing about town is that most places you could live are within walking distance. Granted, it might be a long walk you wouldn't want to do in bad weather, but most distances are still doable. And there are car services available as well. Hope this helps!
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Petal
Citizen
Username: Petal
Post Number: 3
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 4:37 pm: |
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we moved to maplewood just 6 months ago from park slope. our daughter gets more unstructured/unplanned play than she knows what to do with. the kids in the neighborhood are always playing in each other's yard and running between the houses. it's a dream for the parents and kids alike. not to mention if you go to any of the parks there are other parents and kids to socialize with.
as a stay at home mom i must say there seem to be quite a few stay at home dads, so i don't think your husband would be the only one.
you will definitely want to learn to drive, but i think you could get by for a little while without it, especially if you can walk into town.
for us maplewood is perfect. we get the diversity we loved/needed from the city (we are a multi racial family) and the back yard and fresher air we could never have before.
if you haven't visited here yet that is what your family needs to do. you will have a gut reaction and go with that reaction. if you like it, everything else will fall into place. there are great people here, good schools, trees and flowers and of course proximity to nyc.
we sometimes think we are too happy in maplewood!
good luck! |
Lester Jacobs
Citizen
Username: Lester
Post Number: 112
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 6:17 pm: |
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Maplwood is a wonderful town. You will feel you have walked into a Phillip Roth novel.(Kind of like Newark right before the riots) There are a few Eastern Orthodox churches around so you may be able to meet people of Balkan descent that way. |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7373
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 6:36 pm: |
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I've lived in Maplewood for 25+ years and I still don't drive a car. The commute to NYC by train or bus is easy and the town is so small geographically that it is relatively easy to walk from place to place. |
Noo2wood
Citizen
Username: Noo2wood
Post Number: 3
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 7:47 pm: |
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I posted this question under "Springfield Avenue" but thought I'd post it again here.
My family (wife and 1 year old daughter) are planning on moving to Maplewood. We'll be renting at first and then buying. In both cases, the places within a comfortable price range seem to be on or around the Union side of Springfield Avenue, or on or around the Irvington side of Boyden Avenue. How is it there?
We lived on 12th Street in Park Slope, Brooklyn 10 years ago, and I now live in the Inwood section of Manhattan, so we can handle a lesser-developed and ethnically diverse area, as long as it's safe and the neighbors are not a complete nuisance. |
snowmom
Citizen
Username: Snowmom
Post Number: 370
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 8:11 pm: |
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What does DH stand for? |
Wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2420
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 8:14 pm: |
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dear husband or da hubby? |
Morrisa da Silva
Citizen
Username: Mod
Post Number: 447
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 8:35 pm: |
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not Designated Hitter Huh? |
amandacat
Citizen
Username: Amandacat
Post Number: 1125
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 3:24 pm: |
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Weird that no one has responded to noo2wood's question yet -- come on guys, chime in!
Noo, I don't have much direct experience with the parts of town you decribe, but personally I've seen some nice looking streets in the part of town that's east of Boyden, north of Springfield, and south of Parker (not sure what it's called). The Hilton section west of Boyden and south of Springfield also seems to be up and coming, and though it's not as uniformly "cute" as some other parts of town I would certainly consider it were I looking for an affordable start in Maplewood. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 14073
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 10:14 am: |
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We moved to Maplewood three years ago, and the physical layout was a big plus for us, particularly the sidewalks. I expected it would engender spontaneous and unstructured play. And i was right. On our street, kids play right in the street in the evening. I live on Plymouth Ave, where traffic is light enough for this to be safe. In the middle of the block, we can hear a car coming before it's too close. I swear, sometimes, I feel like I'm living in a Normal Rockwell painting. And kids have lemonade stands. It's so charming.
Even if you haven't decided, please come to the Maplewood Mayfest. It will be in Maplecrest Park on May 13. You'll think you stepped back in time by about 80 years, except it is ethnically diverse.
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LilLB
Citizen
Username: Lillb
Post Number: 1652
Registered: 10-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 10:16 am: |
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Tom, your street ROCKS when it comes to kids. A friend of mine lives on you street and I went to visit her during the day one time -- it was like walking down Sesame Street! Kids playing everywhere - people walking around. Looked like a big block party for kids and it's always like that!! |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 14075
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 10:21 am: |
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LilLB, yes, it's really like that. It's absolutely heartwarming. And I have to believe mine is not the only one. Another nice thing is that it's level on my block, which means balls don't roll out of control.
When a car approaches, the parents yell out, and the kids run onto the sidewalk. When the kids are old enough to be alert, then they play without the parents watching out.
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sac
Supporter
Username: Sac
Post Number: 3405
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 12:51 pm: |
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Noo2wood - We used to live in the section you mention and the main reason we moved was to get a bigger house, not to leave the area. We liked our neighborhood there very much, but just couldn't fit into most of the available houses when we wanted to scale up a bit. Now, a dozen years later, our first house would cost significantly more than our current bigger house cost then. Most people I know who live there are very happy with their neighborhood and location, with the exception of one or two whose property is directly adjacent to commercial properties along Springfield Avenue or Burnett Avenue, so you might want to consider that proximity when looking at houses. |
Noo2wood
Citizen
Username: Noo2wood
Post Number: 4
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 7:29 pm: |
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Thanks for your responses. I was starting to get concerned about the nature of my question. I thought it might have struck some as somewhat racist, or elitist or "locationist." We'll continue to look there (being wary of commercial properties) and are also starting to look in West Orange. |
Noo2wood
Citizen
Username: Noo2wood
Post Number: 5
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 7:40 pm: |
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My main concern is for my wife and baby. She's at home raising the baby and running a parttime home business. In New York City you never have to travel far for social interaction. You go over to the local park and there's always a ton of kids at the playground or on the grass. And there are so many different kinds of people, that you're bound to find some Mom or Dad or Nanny with similar interests and tastes to have a conversation.
Are there main areas around Springfield or Boyden where folks gather on a regular basis. What's Maplecrest Park like? Is it as active and vibrant as Memorial Park and the downtown streets? |
Noo2wood
Citizen
Username: Noo2wood
Post Number: 6
Registered: 4-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 7:44 pm: |
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Since Astoria-mover started this thread and asked a question about ethnicity and interests, I thought I'd share mine.
My wife, 1-year-old daughter and I are Korean-American and in our late 30s. I'm an advertising art director and musician. She's a painter and graphic designer. The baby seems to be a musician too. |
Jersey Boy
Citizen
Username: Jersey_boy
Post Number: 718
Registered: 1-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 5, 2006 - 8:46 pm: |
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I agree with Seagull. When we were lookind in South Orange, we used to drive to the closest park to our soon-to-be house. We have video of our son playing on the playgroind and having a great time. It was recorded on the video tape we took of the interior of the house.
So, it was a big part of our decision. Now, I bike him over to that park all the time.
On the other hand, we looked at a house in another area. We went back and walked our dog at dusk, heard a mother hitting and screaming at her child on their front porch and never made an offer.
Nothing beats first hand experience, if you can get it.
J.B. |
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