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Message |
    
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1538
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 1:41 pm: | 
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I don't know where else to ask, so I'm asking here.
What do you do when you have a coworker too dumb to figure out your real name? I work in a very small company of about 27 people. It's not that hard to figure out the names. We all fit on a one-page telephone directory sheet. Anyway, she started here about 6 weeks ago and sits kind of near me. At first I thought she was saying it right. But then, about 3 weeks ago, I realized she was saying "Hi Judy," instead of "Hi Jackie." I let it go, because I figured she would realize her error by either reading the phone list (there is no Judy here but there is indeed a Jackie...me) or by hearing someone else call me Jackie. I didn't want to embarrass her by correcting her, especially since it's been a while now. But it's not stopping! It keeps going. She says, "Hi Judy," to me about once a day. Now I feel really dumb correcting her because I have had so many chances to do so but haven't, so she might wonder what my issue is. But I keep expecting her to figure it out. We don't actually interact much -- we're in different departments -- but this really is such a tiny company that you'd think she'd get it. It took me about a week after starting here to know everyone's name.
Any advice on how to gracefully handle this? |
Brett
Citizen
Username: Bmalibashksa
Post Number: 2405
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 1:47 pm: |
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Find a reason to leave her a hand written note, and sign your name on the bottem. An email isn't as effective |
C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 2643
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 1:51 pm: |
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By simply looking her in the eye and saying:
"Actually, my name is Jackie, with a K."
Then pause and wait for her to apologize, sputter, etc. Giving her the letter K will help to fix it in her mind (possibly.) Assuming she apologizes be gracious and say something like, "I know it takes time to get to know everyone's name." This way you stand out as "that nice person Jackie." If she doesn't respond appropriately (by apologizing) you can offer to write it down for her. Again, keep an even tone. You're just conveying information. If you freak on her she gets defensive and may continue to call you Judy for spite now that she knows it bothers you.
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red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5604
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 1:59 pm: |
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Definitely just tell her. She may be a little embarresed, but she will get over it. To make her better you can mention you didn't even realize it at first either, "Judy and Jackie" do sound a little alike... |
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1539
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 2:00 pm: |
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Thanks. It's not that it bothers me, it's just that it's silly. I feel silly every time she says "Hi Judy," and I say hi back. I think she's basically a space cadet. But now I feel dopey because I let it go on for so long. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1802
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 2:05 pm: |
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Zoesky, just correct her. She probably just misheard or misremembered when you were introduced (and that doesn't make her dumb  ). |
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1541
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 2:07 pm: |
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I know, I know. The only thing that makes me feel like she's spacey is that if she ever happened to actually glance at the phone sheet, which they reissue every couple of months or so to update it, she'd see there is no Judy. But I guess that's just me. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1804
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 2:10 pm: |
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I get it. Just remember: there is one of her, and 26 new names to memorize. She got yours, albeit wrong...
And if she asks why you didn't said anything sooner, tell her she always mumbles, you thought she was saying Jackie.  |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 3143
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 2:29 pm: |
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If you feel uncomfortable just telling her have another co-worker say something like "what project is Jackie working on?" or even "I love the shoes that Jackie is wearing today". She will say "Jackie who?" and the co-worker can correct the situation without making either her or you uncomfortable.
I'm not great with the direct approach myself. |
Projects Dude
Citizen
Username: Quakes
Post Number: 152
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 2:34 pm: |
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This is going to be another Guys-Would-Handle-It-This-Way-Girls-Would-Handle-It-Another-Way thread.
Will check back for the hilarity. 8) |
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1543
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 3:57 pm: |
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Wendyn, I like your idea. Confrontation is practically my least favorite thing in the world! |
heroman
Citizen
Username: Heroman
Post Number: 101
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 4:08 pm: |
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I find it amusing that you would resort to calling her "dumb" instead of handling the situation like a grown up. I deal with that situation every so often. People will refer to my daughter as Nicole instead of Noelle and I used to be called by other names that begin with H. You just politely say,"I'm sorry, but my name is..., not...." Kids are great. They'll just say, "NO, my name is___!" |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4530
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:03 pm: |
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I have to correct people about my name all the time. Usually, someone will call me "Susan" and I just smile and say firmly "Suzanne." If they ask for "Susan" on the phone I say "This is SuZANNE."
Guess what, it doesn't usually work. Some people are really bad with names. My in-laws after almost 20 years still call me "Sue." We went to Mohonk this winter and I spent 2 thousand bucks, they still didn't get my name right, even after I repeatedly corrected them on the phone and in person.
It's a pet peeve of mine (obviously) but I say take the direct approach and correct her. She'll probably apologize and feel stupid. If you told her it was "Jackie with a K" she might think your name is "Khaki!" |
Hank Zona
Supporter
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 5636
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:29 pm: |
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I never knew your name was Suzanne...I thought it was Shazam.
Just tell the person nicely...its the best and most direct way. But do it nicely...a few times, people would call me "Mike" instead of "Hank", so I would say, "No, Mike is my brother's name..Im Hank". At lunch once with a guy I worked with, I referred to him as Andy...and without saying excuse me or anything, he just blurts out, "No, Andrew". I stopped, looked at him, considered that I didnt know he went by Andrew only and that he was being a pill about it and just cut me off with his two word explanation and said, "Oh OK Andy, I'll remember that next time". |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5620
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:39 pm: |
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 Hank that is great... |
Wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2542
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:40 pm: |
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Hey Mike, didn't know you could be so funny and yet so passive/aggressive at the same time. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5621
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:41 pm: |
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 stop you guys are going to make me pee my pants |
Wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 2543
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:44 pm: |
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Happy Friday and let's all enjoy being with people this weekend who, hopefully, know our names. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5622
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 5:47 pm: |
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Cheers!  |
Suzanne Ng
Citizen
Username: Suzanneng
Post Number: 770
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 6:04 pm: |
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VIG. I get the same thing. Especially when I put my name on one of those restaurant waiting lists... "Name please ?" "Suzanne" -- They either spell it out S-U-S-A-N, or write it that way (without even confirming the spelling). I say no, that is SUSAN , not SUZANNE.. it is not THAT uncommon a name; most people should know the difference!
(Try explaining the "Ng" spelling & pronunciation!) |
Nancy - LibraryLady
Supporter
Username: Librarylady
Post Number: 3524
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 7:21 pm: |
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My Suzanne just hates hates hates being called Susan (ALmost as much as me as Mr. LL 2 previous girlfriends before me were Susan.) Why is Suzanne so hard? Ohwell/
Jackie,just arrange for another co working to loudly greet you by name while standing with Miss New Employee. Hi JACKIE, what's going on? should instruct her as to your real name and no one is corrected or admonished.
Have a good weekend all.
Nancy (Not Nan, Nanny or Nance) |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4533
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 8:59 pm: |
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Hank, Shazam is my superhero name. You can still call me that.
LL, I never even give me name in restaurants anymore. I give my husband's simple one syllable four letter name, or on occasion our last name which is also harder to mess up. |
eliz
Supporter
Username: Eliz
Post Number: 1501
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 9:39 pm: |
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I never have a problem with Susan/Suzanne but someone in my company's hq in Memphis is named Suzanne but it is pronounced Suzawn with heavy emphasis on the "awn" (and not because of the southern accent). I have to stop and conscientiously think of the pronounciation before I say her name. Thankfully I don't have much to do with her. |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4536
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 6:23 am: |
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Eliz, that's totally different. I can't even imagine the pronounciation you mean, but I suppose it's similar to my mother's cousin "Michele" pronounced "MEE-shell."
It's tricky. |
Maplewoody
Citizen
Username: Maplewoody
Post Number: 1237
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 8:44 am: |
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When she says "Good Morning Judy",
say right back to her,
"Good Morning Gertrude" ! |
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1545
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 8:58 am: |
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I didn't mean "dumb coworker" as in, she's a stupid fool. I meant it lightly, as in, she's a space cadet. She's obviously not literally stupid. But she is dopey, if you ask me, by not figuring out that there's no Judy listed on the phone list -- which I have noticed is dutifully tacked up in her cubicle -- but that there is a Jackie. Duh. Maybe I'm unduly harsh, but that just seems spacey to me. And when I start a new job, I make it a point to learn all the names so as to hasten the assimilation process. In a company of 27 people, it's not hard. Hey, kindergarten teachers learn their students' names in like two days.
Ironically, I asked her early on how she likes to be addressed -- her name is Deborah, and I asked her if she likes "Debbie," or "Deb," or Deborah.
Anyway, I will probably say something on Monday. I just was looking for a way to not make her feel lame, since she seems a little nervous and tentative in general.
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Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 11709
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 9:33 am: |
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Try the, "I'm Jackie, my sister is Judy, do you know her?" line even if it is a little white lie. It is the easiest way and probably the most gentle to handle the situation.
Especially if you have a fairly common last name and the coworker knows a Judy with the same last name it is easy to get confused. I admit to having this problem with a co-worker who has the same last name as a friend of over forty years.
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ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 2131
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 9:54 am: |
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Her confusion doesn't make her dumb. When she greets you as Judy and is not corrected, there is no reason for her to think that your name is not Judy. Not everyone spends time memorizing the phone list. Maybe she is spacy, but that doesn't make her dumb. It's really incumbent upon you to correct her -- not doing so does not mean SHE is the dumb one. |
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1546
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 12:51 pm: |
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OK, so I'm dumb because she gets my name wrong consistently after 6 weeks? Right........sure. |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 2135
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 1:02 pm: |
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Well.......
I feel silly every time she says "Hi Judy," and I say hi back. I think she's basically a space cadet. But now I feel dopey because I let it go on for so long. |
Zoesky1
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 1547
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 1:20 pm: |
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Well, I clearly said i was trying to preserve her feelings and not embarrass her.
What's your problem, anyway? Jesus Christ. |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 1813
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 1:24 pm: |
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The new employee is not dumb for getting your name wrong, Jackie. She is also not dumb for not memorizing the phone sheet - not being aware she has your name wrong, why would she think to double check?
Jackie, no one called you dumb. It's hard to correct someone after so much time has elapsed. Just do it Monday and be done with it. It will all be forgotten.
This is not a reflection of intellects.
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