| Author |
Message |
    
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5728
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 4:14 pm: | 
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My GF has leukemia, and her hubby has been so amazing during all of this. I wanted to get him a little something to show we are thinking for him...ideas? |
BGS
Supporter
Username: Bgs
Post Number: 1063
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 4:26 pm: |
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Red-how about making him a basket...if he likes to BBQ-some great BBQ sauces, if he likes to read, throw in a new book or something you think that he would like, some snacks, maybe a 6 pack of his favorite brew, or a bottle of wine or something you think that he would drink...maybe a coupon for the fish market if you know that he likes fish so that he could splurge a little and get something that he might not usually buy for himself (or for both of them???)
Maybe a note to him to tell him how swell you think that he is...
Am sorry that your friend is ill....
B |
Debby
Citizen
Username: Debby
Post Number: 2326
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 4:26 pm: |
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Is she well enough for them to enjoy a dinner out (or maybe a brunch if she gets tired a lot)? How about audio books or comedy routines on CD?
It's so great that you're thinking this way...when my Dad was ill one of my young cousins sent my mother a basket full of creams and aromatherapy and loofah, etc. with the nicest card about people focusing on the patient while the caregiver gets forgotten. It meant so much to my Mom.
I hope you find the perfect gift, and that this ordeal passes soon. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7997
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 4:59 pm: |
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If she is currently unable to do household chores, shop, work or drive herself anywhere (do they have kids?), the greatest gift you can give him is a reprieve.
Take their laundry, hire a cleaning service for a cleaning or two, take the kids, bring them meals for an entire weekend. Do the grocery shopping.
Most people think that these things are for the patient, but the care giver will love it even more. Just make sure to inform him of the gift in a card addressed to him.
If you want to really go for it, give him a couple tix to a ball game with the strict instructions to take a buddy. Hang with your GF while he's gone.
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Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7578
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 8:40 pm: |
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Just saying, "It is so wonderful that you are taking such good care of ___ right now." can mean a lot. A gift of something personal he would really enjoy can also be a real morale booster.
Do they live close by? If so, a gift of your time and talent might be the best gift you can offer. Do they need help getting her to doctor appointments, doing the shopping for basics? Offering to be there for her (and him) when he can't handle all this himself is a real blessing. It will be a relief to them both to know they have support if they need it.
If they live too far away for this to be practical and it would not be possible to drop by for a visit to help out so he can have some time to himself, you might be able to arrange for some such support through people in their locale. |
Southorangemom
Citizen
Username: Southorangemom
Post Number: 332
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 9:37 pm: |
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It could be something simple, like offering to pick up the dry cleaning or returning books to the library. Or taking the grocery list to the market and doing the shopping. Or cooking some meals that can be put in the freezer. Or spending time with your GF so hubby can have some down time.
Trust me on this, it is the thought that counts, but it is also crucial for the caregiver to have time and space for himself.
This topic is very close to my heart, so feel free to PL me if you wish.
SouthOrangeMom |
Debby
Citizen
Username: Debby
Post Number: 2328
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 10:00 pm: |
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They're right about the time off.If she's currently hospitalized, spending the whole day so that he can have a day off will be very restorative. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5735
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, June 9, 2006 - 10:02 pm: |
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I am flying down in a couple of weeks to give him a reprieve. I just can imagine what he is gong through. He has a new job, taking care of three kids and his sick wife. So I am helping, but I want him to know how special he is for loving her this much and doing such an AMAZING thing for his family.... giving him a little something. |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 7583
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, June 10, 2006 - 8:36 am: |
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Why don't you just tell him how you feel -- assuming you haven't done so already? The gift of your time, support and understanding are the greatest gifts you can give him just now. You may also want to spend some of your time there checking out the support system (if any) they have in place locally and doing what you can to improve it.
As far as a material gift is concerned, you may want to wait until you get there and can check out what he needs. Don't forget the three kids. They must be going through an awful time just now. Try to give them some attention and perhaps an opportunity to talk about Mom with someone they don't know very well -- often easier than talking to Dad or a close neighbor they see most days. |
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