| Author | Message | ||
     AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 614 Registered: 10-2004 |
What did Earlster ever do that he gets to win the last Threadkill competition? I wondered with the site lagging so slowly and pages not generating if maybe someone ELSE had won the competition. Certainly taking ALL of MOL down would count as being the last one to be able to post to the Threadkill thread, right?  | ||
| Nonymous Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 8443 Registered: 1-2003  |
 It's merely a function of what Dave finds to be the wittiest. Clearly, he values brevity. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 6952 Registered: 4-1997  |
Because Earlster won, whomever knows him and sees him must buy him a beer. Also, I think I may toss this topic into the V Cafe, where it belongs. | ||
| Earlster Supporter Username: Earlster Post Number: 1194 Registered: 8-2003  |
I WON, I WON, I WON  Thanks, Dave. alleygater, I posted an 'empty' post. Try it, you can't just post 'nothing'. OTOH, it's not really all that hard. I really got the idea from buzzsaw's post before, I thought his was pretty good, too.
Well, know I should really show up at the next f2f.  | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 615 Registered: 10-2004 |
Too bad I don't know who you are Earlster. | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 616 Registered: 10-2004 |
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| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 617 Registered: 10-2004 |
Now that wasn't very hard. | ||
| Nonymous Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 8450 Registered: 1-2003 |
Not only do I know who Earlster is, I know where he lives. My dog and I walked past his house yesterday evening. Ah, but I have never met him, and I don't know what he looks like. Ah, the intrigue! Does he dance like Laurel and Hardy? | ||
| Earlster Supporter Username: Earlster Post Number: 1199 Registered: 8-2003 |
Tom, I have seen you a few times when driving past your house, however I never get to stop and say hi. I always seem to either be in a mad rush, or have a screeming kid, or a kid that just fell asleep. I'll really make it a point to stop next time. | ||
| Nonymous Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 8453 Registered: 1-2003 |
Please do. Your kids might like meeting our dog, too. He's a gentle giant and tolerates all kid behavior. | ||
| Earlster Supporter Username: Earlster Post Number: 1200 Registered: 8-2003 |
AlleyGater, a transparent gif, nice idea. | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 621 Registered: 10-2004 |
What is funny is that I figured out the OTHER easier way to do it just mere moments after I posted, making me feel like a REAL dork. | ||
| Pizzaz Supporter Username: Pizzaz Post Number: 2153 Registered: 11-2001  |
Monster: Could you repost that picture with you know the two sense (balls) bouncing back and forth... I was trying to find it but Dave literally cut and deleted the earlier postings in the threadkill file. (It's a picture I should have saved).  | ||
| monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 995 Registered: 7-2002  |
Well, since the other thread was cut short in the prime of its life, I was going to boycott this one, just sensless I tell ya', senseless.... But for you, one more time  | ||
| Lucy Supporter Username: Lucy Post Number: 127 Registered: 5-2005 |
Great Balls of Fire!!!LOL | ||
| Pizzaz Supporter Username: Pizzaz Post Number: 2158 Registered: 11-2001 |
Is that your two sense/s? | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 643 Registered: 10-2004 |
Hmmmm, my photo of Jerry Lee Lewis giving you the DOUBLE middle finger was deemed TOO offensive for MOL. Purient MOTHER••••ERS!!! Talk about Great Balls of Fire. | ||
| Pizzaz Supporter Username: Pizzaz Post Number: 2160 Registered: 11-2001 |
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| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 656 Registered: 10-2004 |
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| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 1978 Registered: 10-2001  |
Monster - where did that pictue come from? My officemates and I were cracking up (again) at the sight of it. Yes its a slow Friday here at the office. | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 657 Registered: 10-2004 |
There is a whole commercial from an Asian country selling something (food or computers)? It went around the net a year or two ago. Since it was in a foreign language it made little or no sense. Red Riding hood is hopscotching through the forest, and the happy music is playing and then she stumbles upon that Raccoon with the big balls. I think it was meant to be funny. Not really seedy -- like the little girl is being sexually assaulted by a big grownup in a furry outfit. At least I think so...?!? | ||
| monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 997 Registered: 7-2002 |
A guy I know on another forum put it together, and then I added this to it, http://homepage.mac.com/jocnsoc/WOW.gif I have to provide a link because I'm too busy (lazy) to bring the size down at the moment, it's just a little to large of a file to post here. | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 661 Registered: 10-2004 |
I couldn't find it on google (and i thought I was a googling master). If you really want, I can ask my old co-worker if they have a copy or a URL of the red riding video. But seriously, Monster clipped out the best part of it. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 1979 Registered: 10-2001 |
http://www.stinky.com/anabu/ I found it by googling "red riding hood" racoon. | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 666 Registered: 10-2004 |
The longer version was the one I saw. I guess red riding hood racoon testicles wasn't good enough for google. I admit that sportsnut is the better googler. Bravo. | ||
| Pizzaz Supporter Username: Pizzaz Post Number: 2162 Registered: 11-2001 |
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| monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 1002 Registered: 7-2002 |
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| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 6989 Registered: 4-1997 |
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| monster Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 1006 Registered: 7-2002 |
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| Mayor McCheese Supporter Username: Mayor_mccheese Post Number: 435 Registered: 7-2004  |
OLDER AMERICANS ACT OF 1965* TITLE V--COMMUNITY SERVICE EMPLOYMENT FOR OLDER AMERICANS short title Sec. 501. This title may be cited as the "Older American Community Service Employment Act". older american community service employment program Sec. 502.(a) In order to foster and promote useful part-time opportunities in community service activities for unemployed low-income persons who are fifty-five years or older and who have poor employment prospects, the Secretary of Labor (hereinafter in this title referred to as the "Secretary") is authorized to establish an older American community service employment program. (b)(1) In order to carry out the provisions of this title, the Secretary is authorized to enter into agreements with public or private nonprofit agencies or organizations, including national organizations, agencies of a State government or a political subdivision of a State (having elected or duly appointed governing officials), or a combination of such political subdivisions, or tribal organizations in order to further the purposes and goals of the program. Such agreements may include provisions for the payment of costs, as provided in subsection (c) of this section, of projects developed by such organizations and agencies in cooperation with the Secretary in order to make the program effective or to supplement the program. No payment shall be made by the Secretary toward the cost of any project established or administered by any organization or agency unless the Secretary determines that such project-- (A) will provide employment only for eligible individuals except for necessary technical, administrative, and supervisory personnel, but such personnel shall, to the fullest extent possible, be recruited from among eligible individuals; (B) will provide employment for eligible individuals in the community in which such individuals reside, or in nearby communities; (C) will employ eligible individuals in service related to publicly owned and operated facilities and projects, or projects sponsored by organizations, other than political parties, exempt from taxation under the provisions of section 501(c)(3) of title 26, except projects involving the construction, operation, or maintenance of any facility used or to be used as a place for sectarian religious instruction or worship; (D) will contribute to the general welfare of the community; (E) will provide employment for eligible individuals; (F)(i) will result in an increase in employment opportunities over those opportunities which would otherwise be available; (ii) will not result in the displacement of currently employed workers (including partial displacement, such as a reduction in the hours of nonovertime work or wages or employment benefits); and (iii) will not impair existing contracts or result in the substitution of Federal funds for other funds in connection with work that would otherwise be performed; (G) will not employ or continue to employ any eligible individual to perform work the same or substantially the same as that performed by any other person who is on layoff; (H) will utilize methods of recruitment and selection (including listing of job vacancies with the employment agency operated by any State or political subdivision thereof) which will assure that the maximum number of eligible individuals will have an opportunity to participate in the project; (I) will include such training as may be necessary to make the most effective use of the skills and talents of those individuals who are participating, and will provide for the payment of the reasonable expenses of individuals being trained, including a reasonable subsistence allowance; (J) will assure that safe and healthy conditions of work will be provided, and will assure that persons employed in community service jobs assisted under this title shall be paid wages which shall not be lower than whichever is the highest of (i) the minimum wage which would be applicable to the employee under the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938, if section 6(a)(1) of such Act applied to the participant and if the participant were not exempt under section 13 thereof, (ii) the State or local minimum wage for the most nearly comparable covered employment, or (iii) the prevailing rates of pay for persons employed in similar public occupations by the same employer, (K) will be established or administered with the advice of persons competent in the field of service in which employment is being provided, and of persons who are knowledgeable with regard to the needs of older persons; (L) will authorize pay for necessary transportation costs of eligible individuals which may be incurred in employment in any project funded under this title, in accordance with regulations promulgated by the Secretary; (M) will assure that, to the extent feasible, such project will serve the needs of minority, limited English-speaking, and Indian eligible individuals, and eligible individuals who have the greatest economic need, at least in proportion to their numbers in the State and take into consideration their rates of poverty and unemployment; (N)(i) will prepare an assessment of-- (I) the participants' skills and talents; (II) their need for supportive services; and (III) their physical capabilities; except to the extent such project has, for the particular participant involved, an assessment of such skills and talents, such need, or such capabilities prepared recently pursuant to another employment or training program (such as a program under the Job Training Partnership Act (29 U.S.C. 1501 et seq.) or the Carl D. Perkins Vocational and Applied Technology Education Act (20 U.S.C. 3201 et seq.)); (ii) will provide to eligible individuals training and employment counseling based on strategies that identify appropriate employment objectives and the need for supportive services, developed as a result of the assessment provided for in clause (i); and (iii) will provide counseling to participants on their progress in meeting such objectives and satisfying their need for supportive services; (O) will authorize funds to be used, to the extent feasible, to include individuals participating in such project under any State unemployment insurance plan; and (P) will post in such project workplace a notice, and will make available to each person associated with such project a written explanation, clarifying the law with respect to allowable and unallowable political activities under chapter 15 of title 5, applicable to the project and to each category of individuals associated with such project and containing the address and telephone number of the Inspector General of the Department of Labor, to whom questions regarding the application of such chapter may be addressed. (2) The Secretary is authorized to establish, issue, and amend such regulations as may be necessary to effectively carry out the provisions of this title. (3) The Secretary shall develop alternatives for innovative work modes and provide technical assistance in creating job opportunities through work sharing and other experimental methods to prime sponsors, labor organizations, groups representing business and industry and workers as well as to individual employers, where appropriate. (4) The Secretary may enter into an agreement with the Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency to establish a Senior Environmental Employment Corps. (c)(1) The Secretary is authorized to pay not to exceed 90 percent of the cost of any project which is the subject of an agreement entered into under subsection (b) of this section, except that the Secretary is authorized to pay all of the costs of any such project which is (A) an emergency or disaster project, or (B) a project located in an economically depressed area, as determined by the Secretary in consultation with the Secretary of Commerce and the Secretary of Health and Human Services. (2) The non-Federal share shall be in cash or in kind. In determining the amount of the non-Federal share, the Secretary is authorized to attribute fair market value to services and facilities contributed from non-Federal sources. (3) Of the amount for any project to be paid by the Secretary under this subsection, not more than 13.5 percent for fiscal year 1987 and each fiscal year thereafter shall be available for paying the costs of administration for such project, except that-- (A) whenever the Secretary determines that it is necessary to carry out the project assisted under this title, based on information submitted by the public or private nonprofit agency or organization with which the Secretary has an agreement under subsection (b) of this section, the Secretary may increase the amount available for paying the cost of administration to an amount not more than 15 percent of the cost of such project; and (B) whenever the public or private nonprofit agency or organization with which the Secretary has an agreement under subsection (b) of this section demonstrates to the Secretary that-- (i) major administrative cost increases are being incurred in necessary program components, including liability insurance, payments for workers' compensation, costs associated with achieving unsubsidized placement goals, and other operation requirements imposed by the Secretary; (ii) the number of employment positions in the project or the number of minority eligible individuals participating in the project will decline if the amount available for paying the cost of administration is not increased; or (iii) the size of the project is so small that the amount of administrative expenses incurred to carry out the project necessarily exceed 13.5 percent of the amount for such project; the Secretary shall increase the amount available for the fiscal year for paying the cost of administration to an amount not more than 15 percent of the cost of such project. (d)(1) Whenever a national organization or other program sponsor conducts a project within a planning and service area in a State such organization or program sponsor shall conduct such project in consultation with the area agency on aging of the planning and service area and shall submit to the State agency and the area agency on aging a description of such project to be conducted in the State, including the location of the project, 30 days prior to undertaking the project, for review and comment according to guidelines the Secretary shall issue to assure efficient and effective coordination of programs under this title. (2) The Secretary shall review on his own initiative or at the request of any public or private agency or organization, or an agency of the State government, the distribution of programs under this title within the State including the distribution between urban and rural areas within the State. For each proposed reallocation of programs within a State, the Secretary shall give notice and opportunity for a hearing on the record by all interested individuals and make a written determination of his findings and decision. (e)(1) The Secretary, in addition to any other authority contained in this title, shall conduct experimental projects designed to assure second career training and the placement of eligible individuals in employment opportunities with private business concerns. The Secretary shall enter into such agreements with States, public agencies, nonprofit private organizations and private business concerns as may be necessary to conduct the experimental projects authorized by this subsection. The Secretary, from amounts reserved under section 506(a)(2)(A) in any fiscal year, may pay all of the costs of any agreements entered into under the provisions of this subsection. The Secretary shall, to the extent feasible, assure equitable geographic distribution of projects authorized by this subsection. (2) The Secretary shall issue, and amend from time to time, criteria designed to assure that agreements entered into under paragraph (1) of this subsection-- (A) will involve different kinds of work modes, such as flex-time, job sharing, and other arrangements relating to reduced physical exertion; (B) will emphasize projects involving second careers and job placement and give consideration to placement in growth industries in jobs reflecting new technological skills; and (C) require the coordination of projects carried out under such agreements, with the programs carried out under section 124 of the Job Training Partnership Act (29 U.S.C. 1534). (3)(A) The Secretary shall carry out an evaluation of the second career training and job placement projects authorized by this subsection. (B) The evaluation shall include but not be limited to the projects described in paragraph (2). (C) The Secretary shall prepare and submit, not later than one year after December 29, 1981, to the Congress an interim report describing agreements entered into under paragraph (1) and the design for the evaluation required by this paragraph. The Secretary shall prepare and submit to the President and the Congress a final report on the evaluation required by this paragraph not later than February 1, 1984, together with his findings and such recommendations, including recommendations for additional legislation, as the Secretary deems appropriate. (D) The Secretary shall make the final report submitted under subparagraph (C) available to interested private business concerns. (4) For the purpose of this subsection, "eligible individual" means any individual who is 55 years of age or older and who has an income equal to or less than the intermediate level retired couples budget as determined annually by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. | ||
| Pizzaz Supporter Username: Pizzaz Post Number: 2163 Registered: 11-2001 |
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| SO Refugee Citizen Username: So_refugee Post Number: 623 Registered: 2-2005  |
If anyone posts after me.... | ||
| something witty Citizen Username: Buckneja Post Number: 94 Registered: 1-2003  |
Or I do... | ||
| Pizzaz Supporter Username: Pizzaz Post Number: 2172 Registered: 11-2001 |
Never do they win against Superman.   | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 672 Registered: 10-2004 |
One sip and you lose.  | ||
| Pizzaz Supporter Username: Pizzaz Post Number: 2177 Registered: 11-2001 |
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| Parkingsux Citizen Username: Parkingsux Post Number: 65 Registered: 6-2005 |
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| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 797 Registered: 10-2004 |
I refuse to let Parkingsux win, even if he/she did post a very nice alleygater.  | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 8902 Registered: 1-2003 |
Alleygater, did your wife cut off your pinky and thumb? | ||
| AlleyGater Citizen Username: Alleygater Post Number: 800 Registered: 10-2004 |
LOL!!! Very funny Tom. To be honest I wish I was that buff. |
