| Author | Message | ||
     emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 801 Registered: 3-2002  |
I have been following the blogs for several years and have been wanting to start my own. Well, here goes. At this moment I would love nothing better than to have a snowstorm coming and a fire in the fireplace. The AC is on but just doesn't do it. I need fresh air. As they say in Texas, it's "hotter than a six shooter shootin' up hill." I certainly don't miss that heat in Texas. I was in the hospital recently for about a week with major problem, I am better now, but am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sort of homebound now, hence my many new posts. The choice is between daytime TV and MOL and MOL is the winner. I have a bunch of great books to read and every time I open them my eyes go to half mast, the words get blurred and the book comes crashing down on my face and I'm not even drunk. So MOL it is for now. My Parents live in Houston. Look at me. I said parents, should have said parent. My Dad died in March on his 86th birthday, he had his martini, his dinner and died in his chair while sitting next to my mom. They were watching the History channel and she turned to say something to him, he didn't respond. She thought he was asleep. She touched him and realized what was going on. Called the squad etc....called me, while squad was there and said to me....Emmie, I think dad is gone. Me...well mom, where did he go??? It was then that she told me that the squad was there and that he was dead. My dad died exactly as he always wished, just sorta fell asleep. I am glad he never suffered, as so many others do. A career military man and a retired college professor, he was very active until his death. We all flew down to Texas for the funeral. He had a full military ceremony with the 21 gun salute, flag and the whole nine yards. My son, a former US Marine, had one of the spent shells placed in his pocket before he was buried. We also put his martini glass in with him. I know he appreciated that. I am an only child and now my Mom is in Houston with no family. I left Houston many years ago. We are all up here. They were married 64 years, and I feel blessed that I have had them healthy and happy for so long. They were so in love and just wanted to be together, excluding most outsiders. My Mom is cool, but lonesome for some connection of family. She was here recently and was accepted for Winchester Gardens "waiting list" and will be moving here when her number comes up. Can you imagine, at the age of 85....having to go through the whole "collage application" type thing again. It's like...are your grades high enough? What are your extra curricular activities? Do you have enough money? Can you pass the SATs ( i.e. the cognitive exam that is required?) So she called me 6 times yesterday about things she forgot to tell me, like she sent me some Glenn Miller CDs, and again that how she helped on older woman at the ICU that she volunteers at, the same ICU my dad was on life support on. She goes there every Tues. As I said, I am very lucky to have a healthy Mom. So, when I read Greentree's blog and what she is going through with her mom, to and from Ohio, and GMF and all, I know I am lucky. I grew up as a "military brat," lived in 10 different states and Japan before the age of 14. Landed in Texas for my teenage years. Went into the military myself at the age of 21, as a Navy nurse. I basically wanted to get out of Texas and expand my nursing career. Girls just want ot have fun!! Had no clue that I would end treating casualties of war. WAR, who knew? Well, this is more like a bio instead of a blog. I will get it right next time. Where is the snow when you need it? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 2122 Registered: 10-2003  |
Hi Emmie - It's no wonder you can't read - you've got a lot going on! Do you knit or crochet? I'm not trying to trivialize the loss of your father or your illness, or your memories of war, but the needlework really does help when your options are tv or space. I have a lot of difficulty reading at times, and my knitting, in itself a mindless task, somehow manages to keep me from feeling too useless. I can only imagine the great stories you have. Can't wait until you get your blog right.  | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1189 Registered: 10-2003 |
Oh Emmie- What a blessing for your Dad- My heart aches for you and your Mom though...I too lost my Dad the same way... Hope you are feeling well...and that when the other shoe drops it does not thud...that it will be something you can deal with. Please keep us posted on your doings...You sound like a very interesting person! Ciao! BGS | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23714 Registered: 6-2001  |
Emmie, Thank you for joining the blog section. My mom died 5 days after her 69th birthday in March 1996, very suddenly of an aneurism. While I agree that it's best to go quickly and (relatively) painlessly, I also wish that I'd been able to say a proper good-bye. Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. I hope that you regain excellent health and that your Mom is able to move in to Winchester Gardens speedily (and with as little disruption for her as possible). I am an avid reader and have recently regained my gusto for it after a major life change last year. MOL saved my life during the interim and continues to be a positive force. I am here in real life if you need anything (coffee, groceries, library run, etc.). Just as an FYI - my second eldest sister is an Emmie - short for Maryellen. | ||
| Soparents Supporter Username: Soparents Post Number: 2504 Registered: 5-2005  |
Hello Emmie, Pleased to "meet" you! So sorry about your Dad. It was the best way for him, and I suppose there is some consolation for you in that thought. I hope you get back on your feet fully sometime soon, and if ever you need something, remember you have the MOL family too!! SOP  | ||
| emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 803 Registered: 3-2002 |
Thank you all for your good wishes. Yes Bets, the good-bye thing. When my daughter and I arrived at the hospital my dad was on life support, had been for about 24 hours. My mom didn't want to take him off until I was with her. I could tell the lights were out and there was nobody home. BP, heart rate and respirations all mechanically controled. I know his strong spirit was with us in that room. I stroked his forehead, kissed him, told him some of the most important life lessons I had learned from him and called the nurse in. I stood there and watched as the monitors went flat. My mom was on the other side of the bed holding his hand, she looked over at me and said to me, "Emmie is it over?" I said "yes mom, it is." We cried and hugged. My daughter and my ex hubby then came into the room, they didn't want to see the ending of the life support thing, and said their good-byes as well. My dad's favorite bird was the cardinal. There is a male and female cardnial that live in my yard, along with their new baby. Every afternoon, when my windows are open the male flys onto my window boxes, looks right in at me and sings his heart out. How ironic. | ||
| emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 805 Registered: 3-2002 |
BGS and Bets, I am sorry for your loss. The death of a parent is never easy and it is something we always carry with us through the rest of our lives. When they are alive, we always think things like OMG, what is it going to be like when one of them goes. Eventually we find out and have new found empathy to our friends who have already been through it. | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1191 Registered: 10-2003 |
Emmie- That Cardinal is bringing you a message...I am sure of it...I get messages from my Dad from the most unusual sources!!! Please PL me if you need anything during this recuperation period. I can bring you food, papers, prescriptions etc...Ciao! Barbara | ||
| emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 807 Registered: 3-2002 |
BGS, thanks so much for the offer. BTW, I know about the cardinal. My mom has one in Houston that sits on her balcony and sings. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23715 Registered: 6-2001 |
Emmie - your experience is eerily like mine. On my Mom's 69th b-day she and Dad were at their brand new condo on the beach in Florida. Many (like 6 of 11) of her kids + spouses + grandkids were gathered at their lake house in Highland Lakes. We called and she was probably on the phone for almost 2 hours talking to everyone. I was last and promised to make sure the heat was turned down and all the water was off when we left the next day. Five days later, when she suffererd the stroke, my Dad waited about 8 lonely hours before he started calling his children, from oldest to youngest, to let us know. Eight of her children flew down that day from various places. The hospital kept my Mom on life support, too, and so in a way I guess I got to say good-bye. Since she was relatively young, she was able to donate her kidneys, liver, and corneas to very grateful recipients. That gives me the gift of knowing parts of her are still, literally, alive. You are so right about the haves and have-nots (as I call them). People just don't understand how awful it is until it happens to them, and my hope for those I love is that they get very old before they experience it. My Mom died 17 days before my 30th birthday. And that cardinal is definitely sent by your Dad. That was Mom's favorite bird as well, but what keeps her with me is remembering how wonderful she was and how nothing fazed her. My wish is to be as much like my mother as possible. You sound like you're "channeling" your Dad; and that's the best tribute possible. I'm sorry to hijack your blog. Please hang in there and definitely let me (us) know if there's anything you need. | ||
| Calliope Citizen Username: Calliope Post Number: 780 Registered: 3-2006  |
Emmie, I hope you are on the mend. I hope that you will find posting here will help you heal. I, like you and Bets, have had similar experiences.It is amazing to me how alike so many of us are in so many ways, yet all our experiences are uniquely personal. Sometimes I feel like the world's oldest orphan. So often something will happen and I will want to tell my mom,or I will see something and will turn to point it out to my dad. And you know what? Even though I can no longer touch them-- I see them with my heart. My special bird is a redtail hawk. I see them more often than you might expect ---sometime I will hear a "kreeeeee" and see a pair, riding the air currents in big loops. A couple of years ago, when the loss of my dad was still raw, I was feeling very blue on Christmas eve. I had invited friends to share some hot cider and cheer, but I was just going through the motions. Before they arrived,I heard a noise out front and opened the door. There on the lawn,in the fog and mist,was a redtail. He spread his wings and drifted to a low hanging branch of the Holly. He regarded me slowly and then---in a show of magnificent grace, silently spread his wings and disappeared into the cold and dreary night. That was my gift. So , cherish your cardinal and know that he sings just for you, from his heart. Bless you Calli | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 2860 Registered: 11-2001  |
Hi Emmie, Your blog is off to a rich and beautiful start. I am sorry for the loss of your dad. You are lucky, though, to have such fond memories of him, memories that will no doubt keep him alive in your heart forever. Hope this finds you on your way to a speedy and complete recovery. I know that, should you need anything at all, the virtual community of MOL is here to help. I look forward to reading more. E | ||
| emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 808 Registered: 3-2002 |
Bets, You are not hijacking my blog. With no brothers or sisters to vent to I can use all the support I can get. I have been going to post about this for several months but only recently got up the courage to put it in writing, which is more therapeutic than have discombobulated thoughts spinning in my brain so often. I am sorry your Mom died at such a young age. You lost her way to early in your life. The closer I get to 69 the younger it seems. You all must have been devastated. Seeing your strong, wonderful Mom completely incapacitated is a tremendous shock and a rude awakening into life's fragility's. She sounds like a great Mom and I know you all miss her. How is your Dad doing? Yes, the cardinal thing is quite mystical, especially since my Mom has one too. He actually sits on the doorknob of her balcony, looks in the window and sings. My little guy can only get as close as the window box. My Mom was born and raised a Kansas farm girl. She comes from a long line of wheat farmers in Western Kansas. Talk about a incredible constitution. She takes no •••• from anyone, even at the age of 85. Her father made her drop out of school in the eighth grade, during the depression, to help on the farm. She had 10 siblings, only two are alive today. She always resented the school drop out thing and later, in her adult life, took the GEDs, went to college and established a fine career. More later about what my adult children and I call "The Love Story of the Century." Anyway, thanks for responding and please continue to do so at anytime, and anyone else for that matter. As I said the support it good! BTW, my blog won't always be comletely maudlin, eventually I will be moving on to other, more fun things, once I get though this. | ||
| emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 809 Registered: 3-2002 |
Calli, what a beautiful story. I could just envision the magnificent redtail on a cold, depressing Christmas Eve. There could be no better gift! ess, thanks for chiming in. I appreciate your gentle thoughts. | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 6766 Registered: 12-2001  |
emmie...it gets better. I too have a dad died story, but it is the exact opposite of yours. I had wayyyy to much time to say goodbye and it was awful. Personally I think if there really are angels on earth, they are in the guise of hospice care workers. You have my condolences. But it does get better. There will be stinging moments of remembrance in the future that catch you off guard, but over time they become a really pleasant reminder of him. When my son does something really spectactular (either ordinary or really out of this world) I ache and tremble I miss my dad so much because he didn't get to meet my son, but at the same time I am happy that he is out of pain and can almost feel a calm settle over me at those moments. My deepest sympathies to your mom. Take this time to say all the things you want to to her and remember your dad and her husband together. There is comfort in that. As everyone has said before me if there is anything you need I can help out, I am a mean cook  and am handy with a lawn mower or anything else you need. Duncan M. Rogers duncan @ freshwater-films . com | ||
| Soparents Supporter Username: Soparents Post Number: 2534 Registered: 5-2005 |
Emmie, I had a red cardinal sitting outside on a branch looking in at me, and it made me think of you. Hope your recovery is going well. If you need anything, let me know. SOP | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1208 Registered: 10-2003 |
What a bunch of terrific people on MOL!! Emmie- now this is proof that you can reach out and touch someone! And please do if you need anything... Ciao! BGS | ||
| emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 812 Registered: 3-2002 |
Duncan and All, Thanks so much for adding to my blog, I love it and the warmth of my MOL friends. My red cardinal is in the birdbath as I write this. Poor little guy must be sweltering. I pulled this thing up yesterday to write....but just as I did my Mom called to say she had a minor car accident. "Emmie, some A.. H... cut me off in a highway construction area." Me "OMG, are you okay?" Her..."Ya, ya, ya I'm fine, popped the tire off the rim when I ran up onto the concrete barrier on my way to the post office. Anyway, car got towed and we are going out to the cemetery this afternoon to visit Daddy's grave and Elsie's husband's grave too, I will call you tonight and let you know how I made out." Me..."Mom, who is driving???" Her... "Elsie, she knows all the back roads to the National Cemetery. Elsie is also 85, and I can tell you getting across to the other side of Houston is no easy task, no matter who is driving! I told her that when my daughter comes to Houston to visit she had better hide her car keys, because we have a plan. The really good thing is that when she was here to check out Winchester Gardens she told me she was going to sell her car before she moves because she doesn't think she wants to drive around here. Yes, there is a God!!! At least after Thursday I won't have to worry about her driving for about two weeks because she is going to Idaho and Washington to see her nephew and one of her two remaining sisters. | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 6804 Registered: 12-2001 |
I have a pair of these that nest in the privet.  They really are a wonderful site. I never knew though that they were omnivores. I saw the mama at the neighbors pool dining on a cicada. Emmie, you are welcome. And I mean it, anytime. | ||
| emmie Supporter Username: Emmie Post Number: 819 Registered: 3-2002 |
At this very moment my Mom is on her way from Houston to Idaho. She called me this morning from the gate at Hobby Airport, called me when she got on the plane and called on her layover in Las Vegas. During this conversation, she suddenly said that she had to run because her flight was boarding, and quickly clicked off in mid sentence. Next call, 5 minutes later, to say that she almost got on a flight to Albuquerque by mistake. Seems she set her watch an hour ahead instead of getting on Vegas time. I am not sure what time zone her watch or she is in at this point, but I hope its the right one. If she reset it only one hour behind instead of two, she will miss her real flight. She was off to play the slots to kill time. I just hope she doesn't kill too much time! I tried to call her to check on her and got no answer, those noisy slots, you know. At 85, she is still so adventurous. Tomorrow, my cousin, with whom she is visiting, is taking her to a horse show. They are driving 150 miles to somewhere, she doesn't know where, to see Arabian horses. He used to raise them on his ranch, maybe he still does, don't know. It shouldn't be such a bad trip, not like driving 150 miles here in NJ. Wide open highways and easy traffic and the are staying over. A little excitement around here, very little. Last spring I hung a little decorative birdhouse on my front porch. I thought it looked cute and never dreamt it would someday be occupied. Low and behold, this morning I saw some tiny little beaks peaking out of the little hole, as momma bird flew in with some kind of delectable insect treats. They are house wrens. This afternoon I got so worried about them roasting in that little house, I put a container of water on the front porch. I hope at least mom and dad will discover it. As for Mom, I hope she is in the air with her martini and not on the slots with a martini! | ||
| Calliope Citizen Username: Calliope Post Number: 833 Registered: 3-2006 |
Emmie, House wrens are good luck! Maybe your mom had a little at the slots! I hope if I live to 85 I will still be galloping off to horse shows. She must be quite a lady..and she has quite a daughter to take after her! Calli |
