| Author | Message | ||
     sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2170 Registered: 10-2001  |
Ah, my first blog. I never thought I would write one but my recent employment status has given me reason to re-evaluate and reflect. It has brought back memories of some horrendous interview experiences and some wonderfully funny moments on the job. Today, though, I am feeling pensive with a number of things on my mind. The end of the road is near. AT&T will cease being a separate company in a few days and has set about a whole host of changes for me and my family and those friends and colleagues I have at work. About three weeks ago I posted asking advice on what questions I should ask of my potential new employer at a recent interview. I got back some great advice and I did, in fact, ask those questions however, it was definitely the strangest interview I had ever been on and I have been on a couple of doozies. The interview was less an interview and more a sales pitch – the partners I met with pitching the reasons I should work for their firm. No technical questions, no questions about what I could do to help them achieve their goals, no trick questions designed to frustrate me, none that required me to be quick on my feet. Just a lot of great potential rewards in helping re-build the firm’s NJ practice. Pressure indeed. No talk of salaries or benefits. No questions about what my strengths and weaknesses are, no “tell me about yourself,” no “tell me your worst moment” etc. All of which had me feeling like for the first time in my career I was really in the driver’s seat, ready to call the shots about what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. Of course all of this comes with a price and that price is the pressure to deliver the goods. I got to thinking about my career over the weekend, about what I have accomplished during the past 15 years or so, comparing that to the things I had accomplished in the past and trying to figure out what I could conceivably accomplish in the future. I don’t consider myself overly motivated. I am not a type “A” personality. I am more comfortable in a bar with a good jukebox than I am in a “have to be seen” type of place. I am more comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt than I am in suits and ties. But after nearly fifteen years in the workforce I find myself potentially going back to that world, the world of the wannabe “masters of the universe” and really wondering if I’ll be able to do it again. I consider myself a kind of jack-of-all-trades, master of none. Being slightly better than average comes easily for me, yet excelling comes hard. My HS baseball coach chastised me for not putting in extra time and effort to land a college scholarship playing baseball. Of course he never mentioned that playing baseball in college didn’t amount to much and that I’d be far better off concentrating on schoolwork to get into a better college. I have succeeded in a field that is dominated by attorneys, despite not being one myself. In fact, I am the only non-attorney left in my group at AT&T. While I am technically proficient and have no trouble interpreting statutes, cases, rulings and the like I do not possess the ability to tweak the facts and apply them to varying scenarios. With time I have no doubt I could do it but it doesn’t come naturally as it does some of the other planners in my group. It is this part of my potential new job that makes me a little nervous. As I was leaving work today, scrambling to get out in time to pick up my son, I rushed past a colleague who was cleaning out his office. He is leaving the company and the state to pursue a tax counsel position with “big oil” down in Texas. He announced his intention to leave about a month ago and the time has flown by. He and his family leave on Thursday for what will be a major change for all of them. They bought a house in a suburb of Houston – something he could not do here in NJ despite making what most would consider a good salary. I was rushing out of the office tonight knowing that I won’t be in tomorrow and when I get back he’ll be gone. So we said our goodbyes, good luck and we’ll see you when you’re in town but it dawned on me that the demise of my company doesn’t only affect the company and the industry but it affects the lives of its employees, it affects friendships of people who have grown up together during the past ten years or so (for most even longer). Yes, most people will land on their feet and get new jobs but the environment that I worked in will be a thing of the past. I truly work with some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I actually looked forward to interacting with these people – they are smart, nice and above all funny as hell. Thankfully my colleague is going with his family for the closing on his house and he’s coming back next week to take care of some HR related issues, but after that he’s gone. Sure we’ll keep in touch – afterall tax is an incestuous profession – but it won’t be the same. As for my job interview I was told today to expect a formal offer tomorrow before I leave for Disney. The one potential snag is that I informed them of my severance package and told them that if they expected me to start right away there was a chance I’d have to forfeit that package and if that is the case they’d need to compensate me for it. Since it’s a years pay they are a little taken aback so I suggested a 1/3 payout up front with the other two thirds payable on my first and second anniversaries. I also asked for a 50% increase in base pay. I expected them to tell me that was out of the question but they said it was in the range and that they would see what they could do about the severance. I know, I know it’s a great problem to have. But it gives me a great deal to think about on the plane ride tomorrow or as I’m waiting in line to go on Space Mountain. Oops my son is calling - its time to eat and then play with Floam.  It was a birthday gift. Eight tubs in all. Thank God my wife is already in Florida the stuff is all over the kitchen table. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 10828 Registered: 1-2003  |
sportsnut, you may be more ready and able for a change than you think. The sales-job interview may be a sign that your reputation preceded you. I had the same experience at the interview for the job I currently hold. It was odd, basically being told that I got the job before answering any questions. But I accepted the welcome. If you accept a job that you expect to be highly demanding, you may find that it's not so bad. Even if it is, it may give you a new idea about what you want to do next. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2175 Registered: 10-2001 |
Well, its finally done. The once Great AT&T is no more (as a stand alond company). I received word that the deal was finalized while waiting on line at Epcot though it was a forgone conclusion. When I arrived home I checked our company website and found everything had already been converted over to SBC. Then this morning in the Star Ledger there were a smattering of stories about how a once great American icon is no more. It is sad. Sadder yet is that the masterminds of all of this (upper management) will walk away with millions of dollars for what amounts to a failure. But enough about that... Tom you are right. I am already viewing this job as an interim step to finding out what I really want to do. I will welcome the challenge to work hard for a few years, to save enough money to do what I want to do, whatever that might be. I haven't heard from them yet and I suspect that my severance package is the issue. If I were them I'd wait to see how long AT&T is willing to employ me and if its only a couple of months I'd wait. Why should my new employer pay my severance package when they can wait and have AT&T pay it out. I've got to hand it to Disney they just get it when it comes to vacation and consumerism. I'd been there maybe five times over the course of my life but never stayed at the resort itself. This time since it was only two days and my wife was receiving a steeply discounted rate we decided to stay at the Grand Floridian. We signed up for Disney's Magical Express service, which allows you to basically get off the plane and go right to your hotel. They pick up your luggage and bring it to your room for you. Check in was a breeze and moving between the parks was as easy as can be. Transfer here, transfer there, everything just works smoothly. At check out you can get your boarding passes at the hotel and check your bags - they take care of everything for you again. They also know how to make kids smile. My son was watching the parades from a couple of feet away and I get such a kick out of watching him and his reaction to the characters. His smile and his facial expressions were priceless. Of course all this comes at a price and Disney knows how to get you to open up your wallet. Tickets, food, trinkets - everywhere you turn. $80 for lunch, $60 for breakfast it goes on and on. I can see why people plan for years to go there. If you stay a week it is a small fortune and you could definitely spend the money going to a much nicer place. We had gone down in January for what I consider to be the worst family vacation of all time. It was horrible. My son refused to go on any of the attractions even the ones that weren't rides. He wouldn't see any of the shows, wouldn't do anything. We tried both Universal and Disney and nothing. My wife was furious and the whole thing de-volved into a crying/shouting match between them with me trying to referee. We then took a vacation in March to the San Diego area and took him to Legoland, Sea World and the San Diego Zoo. He was like a different child. Agreeable, accomodating and best of all no fighting. Thankfully this trip he was more like the latter. I think it helped that we brought my step son with us. Nothing like a little sibling rivalry to get him to try some things out. Besides it helped out when two of us wanted to go on a ride or attraction there was always someone to watch over my son. My step son mentioned that this was our first family trip (the four of us) ever and it dawned on me that he was right. He went off to college when my little guy was only two and has been away most of the last four years. It also occurred to me that seven years has gone by so fast. He was a real trooper, staying up late every single night only to collapse once his head hit the pillow. Last night he fell asleep on the ride home from the airport and didn't wake up until this morning at 8. Now I need to come up with other things to do in Orlando because we're going back again in February. Any suggestions? | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3471 Registered: 5-2001 |
No. But please tell me more about your LAST Disney trip. I need more ammo when my husband brings it up again.  Though I suppose going for two days or so and staying in the park doesn't sound bad. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2830 Registered: 5-2001 |
We went about five years ago for 4-5 days. I didn't expect to enjoy it, but I really did. And, of course, the kids adored it. We did stay in the park - at the Contemporary Resort. We chose that one because it was on the monorail and that made it easier to take full advantage of the park hopper tickets to come and go from the various parks as well as to check out some of the other resorts. (We had lunch at the Polynesian Resort one day.) We are not extravagant travelers, so this was a splurge for us, but afterwards we felt it was well worth it! We went in April (Spring Break of a year when that was NOT adjacent to Easter, so crowds weren't too bad.) Each morning we went to a different park and then came back to the hotel in the early afternoon to rest and swim for a couple of hours. Then we went out again, usually to Epcot, for the evening. I think we did three or four of the evenings at Epcot, which was my personal favorite of the parks. Since there are four major parks in Disney, we never got to any of the other area attractions, but certainly could have expanded the strategy to them if we had wished. For those traveling to Disney, I highly recommend that you read and bring along "The Unofficial Guide to Disney World". It was a great book for planning the trip as well as providing many useful tips and little known facts and strategies, as well as a reasonable reference to activities, eating, lodging, etc. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6113 Registered: 5-2001  |
Sports - I read your first entry with great interest. I am going thru the same thing right now. For whatever reason, I just don't know if I have it in me anymore. But, I am not in a position to walk away without major life style changes right now. And, I choose not to. Has it occurred to you that the reason excelling is hard is perhaps laziness? I know that mine is. I've always enjoyed being the black sheep in the group. I think part of it is fear of being exposed with those who are much more technically proficient than am I. I wish you the best of luck. It will be an interesting next journey. I know that, for myself, I have to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 649 Registered: 10-2003 |
Hey, Sports - my sister owns a knitting shop just a 45 minute ride away from the Orlando airport, in case the little guy (or the college guy) want to brush up on their garder stitches. As an added attraction it's the next town over from Cape Canaveral (go see the Shuttle!).  | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2178 Registered: 10-2001 |
Greenetree - yes I attribute it to laziness. What else could it be? Working at AT&T has lead to a sense of complacency and it is very difficult to overcome that. Things here are laid back and there are a lot of people here who have cruised through the system to attain positions that I wonder if they would have been able to attain elsewhere. Mediocrity is rewarded here. Yet some do excel and those are typically the "A" personalities. The other big reason for pause is, of course, my son. He's at the age where he's going to start playing sports etc. and the thought of not having the flexibility to come and go as I please is troubling. I've been assured that it won't be a problem. If there is one thing I've come to understand over the past seven years is that spending time with him doing nothing in particular is worth more than what any employer could pay me. On the plus side if I choose not to work at all we could adjust our spending habits and still get by. We are fortunate that my wife has a good job. Of course if this new job is willing to pay me what I asked for I could work for a couple of more years and then find something that I enjoy doing without adversely affecting our lifestyle. AT&T is a strange place. I came to work yesterday and noticed that there were big tarps hanging over any signage that had our logo on it. They unveiled a new logo (which is very similar to the old one) containing at&t in all lowercase letters. They say that the new logo reflects a more approachable and less formal company. As if that was the reason for our demise. That kind of crap cracks me up. Yesterday afternoon the SBC folks came in for a dog and pony show at 4 pm. You should have seen it around here. The amount of •••-kissing that went on was pathetic. I saw one guy in a shirt and tie stop in the hallway where he thought no one was looking. He looked at his reflection in the glass and fixed his hair and tie before going to the gathering. He had no idea how pathetic he looked. As if these SBC guys give a rats ••• about the rank and file employees. I didn't attend the "show" as I usually detest these fake love fests where interviewers lob softball questions and everyone applauds and hoots and hollers like they were cheering on their favorite sports team. It makes me wonder if maybe its me who's stupid. Don't these people realize that AT&T has failed miserably over the past few years and that SBC is not our white knight? Don't they realize that the new combined company will face the same issues that AT&T did? Didn't they read the headlines that the new combined company will be cutting over 13,000 employees? Don't they realize that the new company will be re-locating the vast majority of jobs to San Antonio? Don't they realize that the real beneficiaries of this merger are the very people who are going to be firing you right after you give them a congratulatory handshake? I'm glad I didn't go because I would have been thorougly disgusted. According to colleagues who did attend people were falling all over themselves trying to reach out and shake the CEO's hand. Its embarassing. But they did give out tshirts, mugs and key chains with the new logo on it. And if your companies are anything like this one if there's free stuff people attend. Oh and the new thing around here is that all executives used to have assistants affectionately referred to as EAs. These EAs are highly paid go-fers. Apparently in the last couple of years the term "EA" was no longer enough and these superstar suck-ups are now to be referred to as Critical Issues Managers. I •••• you not. Two things that have occurred here over the past two years or so that have really hastened my disdain for corporate executives are the installation of a 42" plasma tv screen in one vp's office and the abuse of the corporate jets. The first I may have written about before but it really sticks in my craw. I was in a meeting with about ten other people when the conference room phone rang. So one of the guys hits the speaker button and they person on the other end says, "I'm so and so from executive services.(Yes the executives have their own crew of people who service their every whim.) I have an order to install a 42" plasma TV in So and so's office and I'd like to set up a time to do so." The guy who answers the phone says, "Uh, you have the wrong number and I don't think this is the audience you wanted." It turns out that we had just undergone one of the many force reductions where thousands of people lost their jobs and yet some VP felt it necessary to request a TV in her office. Now keep in mind that we all have internet access and you can set up your laptop to receive streaming video so the exact need for the TV I'm not sure. I had dealt with this woman before and she has a CIM (see above), two computers in her office and is never available - always too busy to speak to the common folk. What she does remains a mystery but she sure is important. Her title is senior vp of customer care. The second thing is the use/abuse of the corporate aircraft. The now former CEO of AT&T maintained three homes. One in GA, one in CA and one in NYC. He "commuted" via corporate aircraft from Manhattan to NJ every day. For most people a commute of that nature is a personal expense (i.e. one that is not deductible for the employee or reimburseable by the company) not so for this guy. He argued that his commute stopped the second he walked out the door of his apartment and his "business" day started immediately thereafter. Everything from that point became a reimburseable expense for him. As was the need to take his wife and family to things like the Masters, the AT&T Pebble Beach pro-am etc. Now some if it is necessary and if you don't know spouses expenses can be picked up if there is a business need to have them accompany you. In most cases there is a standard which allows corporate executives to bring their spouses on these trips to help them entertain. He always almost always finds someway to include his wife and claim it as business. The latest is that he and his suck ups were trying to claim that a recent trip to Paris for he and his wife was business related. If he is successful in getting it treated as business he'll have the entire trip paid for by the company, the company will include it in his W-2 and then it will gross him up for the taxes, essentially making him whole. He won't be out of pocket one dime. All that for a guy who will walk away from "securing a future for AT&T" with about $40M. Not bad work if you can get it. Maybe I'm just jealous. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6118 Registered: 5-2001 |
Nah - it's pretty infuriating. I work in an industry that is currently under a microscope. We can't even think about pulling stuff like that. It's actually illegal. I so much want to walk away from all of this. I hope that I can muster the energy to fake it another 5 years. I pretty much blew my interview last week. It was my job to lose and I managed to do it. My heart wasn't in it and it showed. After all the crap in my personal life the last few months, I find it hard to get jazzed about meaningless stuff. So, I'll pull it together for the next interview. I've gotten the practice one out of my system. I wouldn't have gone to the love-fest, either. I remember at my last job, my boss made me go to a Sales meeting, where they were trying to pump up the sales force after several miserable pipeline failures -these guys were pretty much left selling aspirin. Anyway, I was to "understand my internal customer". After watching the arse-kissing, drooling, middle-aged, out-of-shape managers dressed like super heros (it was really embarrassing) act like idiots, I told my boss that if she wanted me to stay in my job, she would never make me go to one of those meetings again. She didn't. In your place, I'd go for a couple years of socking away the salary & then pulling the plug on Corporate. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2427 Registered: 9-2002  |
So are either of you going to your "holiday party"? I was just talking to my boss about it. We are actually invited to 3 holiday parties this year, one for our business "customers", one for our corporate entity, and one for us IT geeks. I haven't gone to a holiday party in 6 years. My hubby always says "I'll pick the kids up if you want to go". Um, no thanks. I am so lazy at my job. I am embaressed at how much I make to do so little. I could be doing more, it is just so vastly uninteresting. But like Greenie I have those golden handcuffs. I'd happily work part time, unfortunately my company doesn't seem to want to lose those extra hours spent on MOL. Oh well. Good luck Sports & Greenie, hope you both find something you like soon. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2179 Registered: 10-2001 |
Wendyn - the fact is that I love this job despite all of its flaws and despite the fact that upper management of the company and my department is filled with people who have made some very bad decisions recently. You'd like to think that they got to where they are because they exercised good judgement in the past but if recent history is any idication good judgement is a thing of the past. Greenetree - the stuff they are doing is legal, barely, but legal. Its the ethics of it that trouble me. How can you, in good conscience, fire thousands of people, then squabble over a 10K trip to Paris? I can't reconcile that. We don't have holiday parties any more. Budgets don't allow it. Besides at a company this size its usually only your group that gets together. With all the people leaving now there will be plenty of opportunities to have a drink or two with the gang. My boss left yesterday for a new job, the person in the office next to mine is leaving tomorrow and two others are leaving next week. And that's just the beginning. People were hanging on till the close to secure their YE bonus. Now that the date has passed everyone is heading for the exits. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2180 Registered: 10-2001 |
Hey Las - thanks for reminding me of the space center. I'll put that down on our list of things to do. The college guy isn't coming with us this time and I doubt the little man would like to learn to knit. He's very into guy things these days. He constantly yells, "You want that!" at me whenever a commercial advertising girl things on tv comes on. But thanks for the offer. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2428 Registered: 9-2002 |
I know what you mean about executive waste. Our company, in the same field as Greenetree's, was fined a very large sum of money a few years back for regulatory problems. The CEO then resigned in disgrace. He received $50 million dollars for f*cking up the company. We just had a senior director disappear after mulitple sexual harassment charges (which were true, believe me). He is still on payroll. I'm wondering what I can do to get a job like those. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2194 Registered: 10-2001 |
Well in the last two days two more people have resigned and I've attended two lunches for people who are leaving this week. Back when I started at AT&T there were 20 or so people in State and Local corporate planning. In recent years that has been pared down to just three including me. Now we are down to two as the guy (John) who accepted a position at Exxon just left to catch his plane to Houston. We'd worked together for 8 years and we'd become good friends during that time. The three of us who remained formed a good team and while John and I were at the same level we were a good compliment. He is a bright attorney with excellent writing abilities and a very creative mind. He had problems implementing certain strategies especially when it came to the accounting end of it and that is where I filled in all the gaps. We worked well together and saved the company millions and millions of dollars over the years. Now he is gone and only two of us remain. It is sad. I used to be used to people coming and going when I was in public accounting as every September a new crop of recruits would walk in the door to replace those who weren't cutting it. The turnover was constant. Here at AT&T there was stability for most people. I had never spent more than three years at any one job until this one and I really thought I'd be here forever and that the team I worked with would be as well. But now it is time to move on. I received my offer from the company I interviewed with a couple of weeks back. It was surprising as I was told to expect a phone call but never got one. Instead I got an offer letter via email last night. I didn't get the 50% raise I asked for but got 33% instead, plus a decent signing bonus with a raise scheduled for September and the chance at a 25% bonus. They didn't address the severance but rather, extended my start date until January (subject to our mutual agreement). Its clear to me that they are offering the opportunity for me to get my severance package from here. The recruiter has called me this morning on my office phone and my cell phone and I've chosen not to answer either call just yet. There are still so many unknowns to think about. We were told by SBC that the department reorganization would take 6-9 months. Thankfully our current VP of tax stated that forcing people to wait that long was unacceptable especially if people were exploring other offers. Now I don't know what to do. I spent the better part of last night thinking about what I should do and I think I've decided to approach my VP here and tell him that I have an offer and if there's any chance to be on a list of first to go I'd volunteer. It also means that someone else who may be on the list to get cut can now possibly be spared. I just wish I knew how long I'll have to wait to get the severance package (one year's pay) then I could give my potential employer a range of dates that I could start. It would make every thing so much easier. Then of course there is my family and my son and the amount of time that this new job will require. I got home last night at around 8:45 and it dawned on me that I got to spend 15 minutes with my son before it was time for him to go to sleep - going forward there will be many more nights where I get to spend so little time with him. Maybe I'm making more out of this than there really is but I've grown accustomed to being the one he depends on for dropping him off at school, picking him up after school, making his dinner, taking him to the Dr. and attending his field trips etc. But I'm getting ahead of myself here, I really don't know for certain that things will be bad - only that they'll be different. I guess I'm no different than most people. I don't like change that's forced upon us. We all like to be the one who initiates it and right now its hard to see how the outcome will be better than I have it now. Who knows, it might be its just tough to see right now. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2200 Registered: 10-2001 |
Well surprise, surprise. The person who would be my new boss (if I accept this offer) called me last night while I was driving home. He reiterated the offer emphasizing that even though I'd be starting in the middle of the company's fiscal year I'd be entitled to a full share of the bonus - there would be no pro-ration. The same for the raise that could come in September. The real surprise was that he said I could take another 6 to 8 weeks to decide and if decisions here aren't finalized they could possibly extend it another few weeks or so. He indicated they would do everything reasonable to ensure that I get my severance package here. I appreciate their willingness to be flexible and it definitely bodes well for the future. On a related note we've been doing a lot of reminising over the last few weeks and we've come to the conclusion that at big corporations things go on that couldn't possibly happen at other smaller companies. That the more we think about it the more the story lines of "The Office" hit close to home. As an example I offer the following little anecdotes regarding telecommuting. The company recently announced that it saves some where around $150 M per year by allowing its workforce to telecommute. How they arrived at that number is a mystery and my buddy in IR actually questioned the people responsible for the report on how that amount was determined. The response was that they assumed that the average telecommuter spends two hours commuting to work per day. They then took that two hours per day and assumed that if you weren't commuting you were working and used that as a basis for a significant portion of that number. When said buddy questioned the validity of the presumption that rather than commuting people were starting their day earlier and ending it later the response was, "that is based upon responses from questionaires submitted by telecommuters." Think about that for a second. You ask the people telecommuting about their work habits and don't question for a second their claims of working every hour of every day while they are telecommuting while you listen to these actual conversations/voicemail messages from two people in my organization who were telecommuting. Colleague A telecommutes on Fridays. She is responsible for providing budget information to Colleague B. Colleague B sends her an email stating that budget information is needed by Friday at 10 AM so that it can get into a report that will be reviewed by our Board of Directors on the following Monday. This is a brief summary of the conversation that follows: Colleague A - "Colleague B do you really need that information by tomorrow?" Colleague B - "Yes. Why?" Colleague A - "Well I telecommute on Fridays." Colleague B - "Ok, well you can email it to me." Colleague A - "If you expect me to get that finished by tomorrow the company will have to pay for a babysitter while I'm telecommuting. I can't do work while my kids are around." Colleague B - "You need a babysitter so that you can work while your telecommuting?" Colleague A - "Yes." Colleague B - Shakes his head and walks away. Second story this colleague telecommutes on Fridays during the summer because he lives in Jackson, NJ. You call his voicemail any Friday and this is what you will hear: "Hello, you've reached X of the AT&T tax Department. Today is Friday (insert date) and I am working from an offsite location. Please leave your name, number and a brief message and I'll return your call on Monday." But you're telecommuting today?!!? Don't get me wrong I support telecommuting and I would gladly permit anyone who works for me to telecommute (and I really believe that these two instancs are the exception not the rule) but sometimes people lose sight of what they are supposed to be doing (as I am right now by posting during working hours). These stories, and there are many more like them, can't be made up. Wait till I tell you the story about the attorney who uses every available opportunity to obtain frequent flyer mileage. His latest charade impacted me and an upcoming flight. He was in a meeting with a VP and the VP asked him if he was going to be able to complete a project by 12/15. His response was, "I'm out basically the entire month of December so I won't be able to get to it. I've got too many vacation days left and I was told I need to take them." This from a guy who has been to Hawaii at least three times this year for weeks at a time. Its crazy. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11073 Registered: 1-2003 |
Sounds like this new job prospect is really good. They value already, and you haven't even accepted the offer. I understand your desire to get that huge severance. I would do the same, for sure. But you'll be OK if you don't manage to get it. There's a chance you'll like your next job. I know, I've said that already. And you can't go home again. The job you had and liked is gone. The nonsense at big companies is unique to big companies, but I think I prefer it. I was recently at small companies, and it was worse, to my taste. I just got the benefits signup package at my new company, which is a large company. The employer contribution for medical coverage is pleasantly very low. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6174 Registered: 5-2001 |
I hear ya. The irony is that I am one of those people who does work harder and longer when I am at home. Probably because I am highly cognizant and paranoid about people watching offsite productivity. At my last job, a colleague started working from home because she was pregnant and her drive was an hour. OK - fine. There was a project we were working on and urgently needed to talk to someone about something to move forward. I was in and out of meetings all day, so I told her that I was going to leave a message for the guy to call her with the info. But I'm telecommuting! she said. Right, I said. Since you are too pregnant to leave your house (her words, not mine), he'll be able to reach you. She grudgingly agreed to take the call. Another time, we had to reschedule a conference call (arranged for her convenience at 10a because she was too pregnant to get up early) because she was interviewing nannies. I just don't get it. When my mom was sick, I regularly stood in the parking lot of the hospital for an hour on conference calls because I was telecommuting from Ohio. It's people like your coworkers and mine that screw it up for the rest of us. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2201 Registered: 10-2001 |
Tom - in some respects I feel like I'm being greedy wanting to get the severance package. The severance package was never meant to be a "lottery" but it was meant to soften the blow of losing your job. Of course if I were getting two or three years pay as many others are maybe I'd feel a little differently. I would probably accept the offer even without the severance package but it seems so close to fruition now that it would be a waste to not at least try to get it. My potential boss was in total agreement. In fact he half jokingly said that he'd question the sanity of someone who walked away from a year's pay without at least attempting to obtain it. I agree that one of the appeals of working at a big company is the stories that you just can't make up. You really get to see what drives people and how screwed up some priorities are. The very first return I worked on here was the 1995 CA return. I had come from public accounting where it was my job to save my clients money. I looked at the return and we were overpaid by $35M. At that level of overpayment the state doesn't just issue a refund. There is a formal process that needs to be exhausted before the money is released. Rather than go through that process we applied that amount to the following year knowing fully well that our liability would be half of that amount. Two months later I was at a conference in Washington DC with two colleagues and I picked up the tab for dinner at Ruth's Chris. Three people and the total was only around $200. Again, having just come from public where taking clients out to lunch or dinner was no big deal I thought nothing of it. I got read the riot act by the office manager. I'll never understand some people's priorities. BTW, Congrats on the new job. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2202 Registered: 10-2001 |
Greenetree - I'm sort of like you, although sometimes I do have personal things going on when I'm telecommuting. There are plenty of other times when I'm on vacation that I'll take conference calls if it means not delaying a project. To me we're all supposed to be professionals and we are well paid we should at least make the effort to act the part. Yes, those two people give telecommuters a bad name and unfortunately they work for a woman who once accused all telecommuters of not actually working when they were at home. Also, while we haven't actually started our kitchen renovation (I know its been months since we came to look at yours) we are close. RG's bid came in very high and I'm having G revise it. My guess is it will still be high and I'm having trouble convincing the misses that the cost is what it is. He's been very responsive the last week or so even when we made some changes to the original plan. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2460 Registered: 9-2002 |
I've been petitioning to work part time (4 shorter days a week) and everyone keeps saying "why don't you work from home". Um, because the point is to lower the amount of "work" I am doing. The "from home" part is what I want to do. I'm to the point of asking to telecommute and letting them pay me for the hours I am at the playground with my kids. I think they would rather pay me and pretend I am working then have me officially part time. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11086 Registered: 1-2003 |
Wendyn, that may be the hint they're trying to give you but have their hands politically tied from being honest. So maybe you should take the offer. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2465 Registered: 9-2002 |
Good point Tom. I guess I have an ethical problem telling the company I am working 40 hours a week when I am working 20. I am pretty sure that they would expect me to work at least part of those other 20 hours, and I have no intention of doing so. The point of working part time is to spend more time with my kids. And it could put me in a bad position in the future if my boss leaves or they challenge me on the amount of work I am getting done or my availability. Right now I am thinking about changing my hours (once kindergarten starts in Sept) to 6-3 so I can at least pick her up from school. That has other problems, but at least it gets me home with the kids. We shall see... | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2216 Registered: 10-2001 |
OK so here's my dilemma. My seven year old son has a 9:00 pm bedtime and has had that same time for probably two years now. Recently I've been picking him up at after care around 6:15 - 6:30 which means that dinner gets on the table around 7:30ish. While I'm cooking dinner he generally plays on his computer (if he's done his homework) or watches some TV or putters around drawing or making some kind of contraption. By the time we finish eating and he takes a bath its very close to 9. If we're lucky we'll get to play a game or watch America's Funniest Videos - he loves that show. At 9 either my wife or I will say its time to sleep and he starts crying. He gets very angry and starts screaming that he didn't get to do anything. No amount of cajoling will get him to move so we have to be stern with him and threaten story time at which point he becomes even more agitated and screams louder. That lasts for a minute or two because he really loves story time. If it happened once in a while I could take it but it happens every single night. We start telling him at 8 that he's got an hour left to do what he wants, then again at 8:30 and then 8:45 but still nothing. He still cries. I'm at my wits end. Then to top it all off 15 minutes after storytime he apologizes with such sincerity and promises not to do it again. Of course the next night its the same thing all over again. Did I mention that he is perhaps the loudest 7 y.o. in all of maplewood when he cries? Our kitchen renovation is a go. Cross your fingers. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11327 Registered: 1-2003 |
I see two problems. One is that day care ends very late for him, so he has a long day at work, so to speak, and a short day with family. If you could change that somehow, it could help him get what he needs, which may be interaction with you and Mom. Maybe laten (is that a word?) his bedtime? The other is that you threaten story time but you don't take it away. Remorse is cheap when you still get what you want. If you take away story time, and his behavior will probably change. I don't mean to sound superior. I've made every mistake a parent can make. Consider joining our SO/M fathers' group, called Pop Culture. We meet about every month at the diner, and we discuss parenting strategies and the status of fatherhood. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3630 Registered: 5-2001 |
Do TV Turnoff. My school-aged kids watch no tv during the week, until Fri night, and it saves us a lot of hassle. (Fri. afternoon they come home and are allowed to zone out for the weekend!) | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2532 Registered: 9-2002 |
Agree with Vig, we get no weeknight tv. Unless Daddy is home because he is a pushover. Also I try to make dinner, or some of it, the night before so I can have it on the table quickly. And have him help put dinner together (I know, it takes much longer) so you can interact during that time. I also only do baths 2-3 times a week, and maybe switching to a shower would speed things up. To make you feel better I pick my kids up around 5 and they are in bed by 7:30, so all of the games we play revolve around getting dinner ready or getting ready for bed. | ||
| mjc Citizen Username: Mjc Post Number: 969 Registered: 10-2004 |
Oh sports, these things can feel so bad to the parent! Here are some random thoughts, maybe one of them will more or less hit the mark: 1. First I thought, well maybe he's ready to stay up a little later. But the nightly fit sounds more like a tired guy than one who's ready for a later bedtime. 2. Is the 7:30 supper a new thing, later than before? If so, is he getting a little too hungry first? Small snack on the way home from after care? 3. If the 7:30 supper is later than it used to be, then his kid & parent time after dinner is shorter than it was? If so, it might be worth considering quicker or take-out meals at least part of the time, in order to save the after-dinner relaxation time. Leave clean-up till after he goes to bed? Or he could become a sous chef and be with you that way, unless that would just be more stress for him. 4. Would you consider giving stars or credits toward a special weekend treat or gift for any nights he can get through the evening without a fit? 5. Could this be about a stress situation of some kind at school, after care, or home? Aren't you in the midst of changing jobs, or something (not that that would necessarily be evident to him)? Is the busyness level ramped up around the holidays? What's up with school, friends, etc.? The kids really have a lot on their plates, keeping a grip on themselves for 8 or 10 hours at school and after care, sometimes they wind up letting it all hang out at home, no fun for them or the parents, but arguably better than coming apart at school. Sometimes, they just go through these periods, and all you can do is be matter-of-fact about your best judgement of an appropriate bedtime, maintain a pleasant routine, and give them some extra love. It's almost like growing pains sometimes: esp. if the kid is moving ahead in some other area, they lose it for a while about things you thought were settled. anyhow, way too much post, all boils down to  to the parents and kids, and "this too shall pass". MC | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2088 Registered: 9-2003  |
I had a spell with my kid that was very trying, sportsnut, and sounds a little like yours. It does sound like a combo of not enough family time and his age. If you can't alter the family time angle (later bedtime or whatever) it might be that offering him more control over the evening rituals could help. As in, a real clock and a sort of "model" clock next to it. You ask him what it's time to do do, put the sense of schedule in his hands so he can see what activity he can do at that time. Play game? Watch the favored show? Perhaps if he can choose what to do in the "time slot" it will help. Similarly, if he sees Story Time on the model clock next to 8:30 or whatever time you do it, you can ask him what it's time to do. Don't know how clear I'm being, but I had got this idea during my rough time and it worked. Somehow, putting knowlege of the schedule in the child's hands made a difference -- along with choices. You still maintain the broader schedule, but the child owns it more and feels better (even reassured) about it. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11329 Registered: 1-2003 |
I like the sous chef idea. Let me loan you a book I have called "Cooking Time Is Family Time" about engaging your kids in cooking, which improves patience, brings you closer, and improves his skills and confidence, improves your dinner. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2217 Registered: 10-2001 |
Tom you don't sound superior. I've thought about taking that away from him but its one of the things he truly loves - but then again maybe that's the point. I'm not a very good disciplinarian. You are right he has a long day. He's been in daycare since he was three months old and he has a long day from 8:45 to 6:15. I try to pick him up early at least twice a week so that we can go home and just goof off until I have to make dinner. VIG - He doesn't watch much TV at night and many times TV is not the issue. He watches in the morning while I'm getting ready for work. But even then he has to get himself dressed and get his dirty clothes in the hamper by the time I'm done. Then we both go downstairs and eat some breakfast before we leave. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2218 Registered: 10-2001 |
Thank you all for your suggestions I'll give some of them a try. He's very "mature" for a seven year old and since he learned to tell time its become even more of a problem. Part of that is the problem in that he sounds and sometimes acts much older than he really is that it is easy to forget that he's only 7. The other major problem is that his dad is a pushover. He helps set the table at night or I include him in the dinner choice. I've mentioned on other threads that he is a finicky eater. He claims that we eat Chicken and rice every night and gives us a hard time about that as well. He's can just get so crabby sometimes. I'm reluctant to hand out treats etc. because he is already spoiled by his pushover dad. Maybe a small treat would work. He is aware of my potential new job and I think I stress more than he does. He's not aware that things will change and I'll split the parenting duties more evenly with my wife after I change jobs (right now I do pick up and drop off about 95% of the time). He's been doing well at school so we seem to have passed that stage. He's had only one outburst during the first three months. Just when you think you're in the clear up pops something else. I parenting is like that afterall I have a 24 y.o. stepson. I do wonder if 9 is too late for him. By the time he brushes his teeth and we read a story its 9:30. Then when I put him to sleep I usually wind up sitting with him talking and he'll ask me all kinds of questions for which I don't have answers. He asked me how old he was going to be when I die. He asked me how the earth became a big magnet. He even asked me how to calculate the square root of 14 the other day. I love him to death though and I tell him that even though he does drive me crazy I love him. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11331 Registered: 1-2003 |
That's very sweet, sportsnut, especially the questions at night. They've ended for us, and I miss them. I'm a pushover, too, and working hard at changing. I'm doing it, making progress, but it's a long haul. My kids think I'm a jerk, because (1) I'm firm with them and (2) I wasn't always this way and (3) I'm still not consistent enough with them, but still getting better. But it pays off so big. Do you want to borrow that cookbook? It's great fun. I think the fundamental base of the problem is either (1) he's not getting what he needs or (2) he is afraid he won't get it even though he will. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2219 Registered: 10-2001 |
Tom I'd love to borrow the cookbook after our kitchen project is finished. It will be difficult to cook anywhere in our house starting in a couple of weeks. I have my moments where I'm not a pushover but he knows that when it comes to him I am a big softey. | ||
| Wilkanoid Citizen Username: Cseleosida Post Number: 538 Registered: 10-2002 |
We have a similar problem from time to time. Not the kicking and screaming part, but the hacking around to delay bedtime. The very real part of the problem is that we get home between 5:00 and 5:30, and there isn't enough time to do everything they want to do -- no matter how much playtime they get in after care. Homework gets done after dinner, between 7:00pm and 8:00pm. In truth, I am a Nazi and I believe in keeping strictly to schedules for my own sanity. Grownups need down time too, and I've tried to explain that to the short people many times. I try not to let Thing 2 engage me in questions about the life and the universe when I've declared it's time for bed. We read a story for 5 minutes or so, and go to bed. Mr. W is better about flexibility, and it's a known fact in our house that he is a pushover. Even so, he's been known to skip the story when the child is not all sweetness and light. | ||
| Rick B Citizen Username: Ruck1977 Post Number: 942 Registered: 8-2003  |
sports...was just reading your blog and thought i'd drop in. not sure if you remember, but our at&t paths crossed about a year and a half ago when you sold me that flat panel monitor through MOL classifieds. anyway...since then i have left at&t and am working for a fininancial based (large) company in roseland. it was quite a change going into the office every day and not having the flexibility, but after about a month i got used to it. a year has passed and i have gained a lot of that flexibility back. my commute is a mere 12 miles, our daycare is onsite, and i work an hour extra each day to get every other friday off. working from home has also become an option, but i think it is clearly performance based. i have always been a high performer to enjoy the benefits of increased flexibility (and other things). anyway, hope the other offer went well. there are much better things than at&t out there. when i left our team had been reduced from 10 developers/8 testers to 3 dev and 2 testers. the work load came in faster and faster, and the demands stayed high. needless to say, i was happy to get out and find out that big companies can be respectable organizations, do have holiday party budgets, and hold your personal obligations in high regard. (when my son was born in february, i was taking the week off, they gave it to me for free as a gift!) so, keep at it and good luck! | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2229 Registered: 10-2001 |
Yes, Rick I do remember you. I have a very good memory when it comes to people. I remember your house; remember driving over to drop off the monitor etc. I hope you’re enjoying it as much as my son enjoys the new monitor that replaced it. I'm also glad to know that I'm not the only pushover dad in MW. Last week there was a rumor floating around my office surrounding which two VPs would be staying on. Having worked for one directly and the other indirectly I had pretty much sealed my fate that I was going to leave and pursue the offer I had received last month. Not usually dabbling in rumor I decided to hold my decision a little while longer. The tax organization at SBC reports up to the controller which is odd as usually the tax and controller functions are seen as equals. SBC's controller however is the former VP of tax and for whatever reason he wanted to keep control of the tax department. We met, as a group, with him yesterday afternoon to find out what was going to happen to our jobs. To no one's surprise all of the VPs know whether they will be leaving or staying. We had six VPs in the department and all but two are leaving (confirming the above rumor.) Of course the two that are staying are the two who are least competent to fill the positions. They have done the least to assist their staff to advance and are generally both pains in the •••. They are not the best and the brightest but attained their place by virtue of one man who no longer works here. They are his lasting legacy at the company. They would be the first people to stab you in the back if things go awry. The meeting was somewhat helpful although you're always a bit taken back when the first words out of your new boss' mouth are "I know you all have questions and I'm pretty sure that I won't be giving you the answers that you really want to hear." He did allay fears that all jobs would be going to San Antonio, which was good news for some. He also seemed to indicate that if you had any hope for significant career advancement it wouldn't be here in NJ. So the "take away" from the meeting was that if you wanted a job it would be here in NJ and if you wanted a career you'd have to move to Texas. I have no desire to go to Texas - for many reasons. Today I met with the VP of Tax from SBC. He seems like a regular guy who hails from St. Louis and came aboard via another acquisition. He informed me that there is currently only one person at SBC who does what I do and that SBC has done a poor job in the area of state income tax planning. He also indicated that it was very difficult to obtain talented tax people in San Antonio because there just isn’t a large pool of qualified people. He indicated to me that, based on those two facts alone, there would be chance for promotions in the near future if he could get certain goals accomplished within a given amount of time. The promotions would not require a move to SA. When I expressed my concern that the bulk of SBC’s income tax functions were located in Texas he informed me that they view AT&T as a discreet business, separate from what their traditional business was. SBC provides local phone services to primarily residential consumers. AT&T’s strength is providing telecom services to large multi-national customers. The network that supports those services is located here in NJ and as such there will be a significant number of people here to support that business, including tax people. There is the possibility of paying “retention” bonuses as well. When I consider all these factors I am left stumped as to what to do. The offer from public accounting is a good one financially speaking. The difference in pay is close to 40K in base pay. The raises in public are around 10% per year so that difference will only grow. The opportunity to learn and grow professionally should be there although it will require additional effort from me. That job could also lead to a better job later on and I would view it as a temporary job – maybe two/three years tops. The downsides are numerous. I’ll be starting over again, the hours will be a bit longer, and there will be travel involved. I worry about spending time with my son who is approaching the age where he’ll start wanting to get involved in sports and other activities. While I think I know what I’m getting myself into you just never really know until you go. My current job pluses are that I know the job. I know what’s expected, I know the company and I think I know where it’s headed. The hours are great and flexible and the company has been very good to me. There is only one planner in the whole company and honestly the states that SBC previously filed in were states where planning just wasn’t a priority. The downside is the two VPs that will be left behind as mentioned above and that we are getting a new head of the department and you just never know when you are the acquired company. Only one person at my level has been promoted in the last five years and I’m always a little skeptical when a person says that there is a chance for promotion in the new department. If I could get some assurance that I could get a promotion within the next year or so (and the commensurate raise, stock & bonus) that goes with it I think I’d stay. After all public accounting jobs in tax are not going anywhere in the near future. Generally I am very decisive I don’t waffle back and forth. I make a decision and live by the consequences especially when it comes to my job and I’ve never second-guessed my choices whether they were good or bad but this one really has be stumped. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 11489 Registered: 1-2003 |
I can't help thinking that you don't really know what your job will be if you stay. Except that those two managers sound like bad news, no matter what. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6387 Registered: 5-2001 |
It seems as if, at the most basic level, your choice is between money and quality of life perks. Everything else is an unknown in both positions. Which is more important? | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 5419 Registered: 12-2001  |
HAPPY NEW YEAR | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2249 Registered: 10-2001 |
I love to hear people's stories. Stories of their lives, their families, their glories and their tragedies and I am facinated by how people's experiences shape who they are today. This is my story: My grandfather was born in the northern portion of the Luzon province in the Philippines in 1906. Don't know the name of the town. I used to listen intently as he would talk about how he would walk to school as a kid with no shoes and sit at tables learning to speak English and learning about American songs etc. He came to this country like many Filipinos, in the late 1920's via Hawaii. He worked harvesting sugar cane and eventually saved enough money to come to the US and attend college. He shortened his name from Dominador Malabad Ponce to Don M. Ponce and for whatever reason decided to settle in the St. Louis area taking a job as a houseboy/cook for a wealthy stock broker. Back then there was little differentiation between Asians and he was often referred to as Chinese. As such, he was limited in the work that he could do. He could be a cook, a launderer or a house boy/servant. He attended St. Louis University (I believe) as a business major and worked at night as a servant. My grandmother's family came from what was to become Czechoslovakia. Her parents were given land just to the northwest of St. Louis along the Missouri river in a town named Chamois, MO. Her family built a house and planted vegetables and raised farm animals. The house is still there and is still in her family. My grandmother was born in 1907 and at the age of 16 left school to work at Brown Shoe as a stitcher. Once a week she would take a basket of her family's harvest and board a trolley into town to sell them. In her spare time she was also the nanny to the youngest of the Lambert (of Listerine fame) children. One day while riding the trolley home she was approached by this strange looking man who asked if he could "court" her. She very impolitely said no. But he was persistent and eventually she relented. The problem was how to introduce him to her family, he was afterall, "Chinese." Needless to say they continued dating and eventually married. My grandmother was still working at Brown Shoe and for the Lamberts at this time. Here's where the story takes a little turn and gets fuzzy. My grandmother claims that after the Lindbergh baby was kidnapped the Lamberts began to worry about the safety of living in the country and decided to move to NYC. I vaguely remember a hand scribbled letter that she showed me when I was a child that was purportedly written by the youngest Lambert child - Wolfgang or "Wolfie" as she referred to him. The letter stated that he would miss her since they would be moving far away. The adult handwritten portion of the letter was addressed to my grandmother's parents asking their permission to take Josephine (my grandmother) with them to NY so she could continue to be Wolfie's nanny. I could never confirm the existence of this child, only references of the Lambert family around the St. Louis area and the memory of this letter that my family can no longer locate. My granparents never told the Lamberts that they were married, fearing that the Lamberts would recind their offer to take her to NYC. At the time she was earning something like .06 a day and the Lamberts offered her a bit more and lodging to boot. So according to my grandmother they (grandma and grandpa) purchased a used Model T Ford which he used to follow the Lamberts to NY. He arrived in Weehawken, boarded the ferry and landed in Manhattan. He found an apartment on Amsterdam avenue and worked at a chinese laundry while she lived in the Lambert household somewhere on the East side. They were able to continue this charade for a couple of months before she came clean about her marriage. She continued to work for them until she became pregnant with my uncle in 1935. During that time she traveled with them to the Hamptons, Florida and upstate NY. This was how my family came to be from the NYC area. 9 years later my mother was born and the four of them settled in the Midwood section of Brooklyn. I know at some point after my mom was born my grandfather joined the Merchant Marines as a cook and spent four years traveling back and forth between North and South America. To be continued... |
