| Author |
Message |
    
JMF
Citizen
Username: Jmf
Post Number: 261
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 1:16 pm: | 
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"i was only joking..i was reading over rw shoulder at the internet cafe on 23rd and thought he was cute..i was eliciting a response from him...i guess that backfired...you people need a life"
That is rediculous on SO many levels.
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Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 2840
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 2:03 pm: |
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hmmmm instead of going to Bunnys tonight, perhaps I should just do some grillin' out back.
Now who to invite, lets see,
VIG
...
...
...
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Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4297
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 2:11 pm: |
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If my husband read this he'd REALLY be ROTFLHAO!
BTW Monster, I don't eat meat. |
CLK
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 2203
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 2:20 pm: |
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New concept for PBS series: "The Lying Chef" |
Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 2842
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 2:31 pm: |
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then I guess you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4298
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 2:41 pm: |
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 Never in my life before this moment did I consider that line meaning what I now think it does. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7337
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 3:31 pm: |
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You just ruined Pink Floyd for me. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13806
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 3:38 pm: |
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It just gets better and better.
Dave, how do you tell the difference between two people on the same home connection and two people behind the same corporate firewall?
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bets
Supporter
Username: Bets
Post Number: 22967
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 3:40 pm: |
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Tom, it was an internet cafe, silly! |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7338
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 4:33 pm: |
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.... he looked up from the keyboard to sip his double mocha macchiato with just a hint of foam and noticed the reflection in the screen. Turning, he saw her standing there. She caught his eye and blushed.
I couldn't help noticing the way your fingers moved so deftly across the keys and the way you hold your wrists just so, she said. Batting her big, blue, super-volumized Cover Girl lashes, she giggled coquettishly: you should be a master chef!
However did you guess, he said, his smile deepening to show the whitest white of his perfect teeth. I happen to be a 4 star chef.
Suddenly, the smile disappeared from his face and a lone, single tear escaped from his eye.
She ever so gracefully reached out and wiped it from his cheek, her freshly polished "Ballet Slippers" nail never in danger of harming his perfect complexion.
What could be the matter? she asked. You are so handsome, dark and swarthy. Certainly there is nothing in your life that could upset you?
He shook his head and managed a wry grin. I am trying to start a dining club in a small suburban town in Jersey, he told her. I am afraid that in my attempt to be clever, I may have blown my only chance.
Nonsense, she cried, bending towards the keyboard, her heaving bosom brushing tantalizingly close to his chin. I'll help you! I can write something about how wonderful and exclusive you are. These Jersey people will be lucky to have you. They'll fall at your feet and beg you to cook for them when I'm done. Why, they've probably had nothing more exotic than pigs-in-a-blanket and fishsticks in their pedestrian little lives!
He took her hand and gently kissed her finger tips. Ah, my beautiful savoir, he said softly. What is your name?
Lilly, in the barest whisper.
I should have known; a creature such as you could only be named for the most delicate, fragrant flower of the new spring sun.
He clasped her small, delicate hand in his. Their eyes locked, they never looked away until they reached the Burger King down the street......
edited to correct a misspelled word which I, of all people, should have gotten right the first time.
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Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13811
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 4:42 pm: |
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I was gonna say the welcome packet to MOL ought to warn people against posting deceptive self-promotion soon after joining, but having read greenetree's piece above, I think it should definitely not issue such a warning.
Before it's too late, please correct the spelling of "bosom".
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greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7341
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 4:46 pm: |
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Thanks, Tom.
It figures; I wait my entire life to find an appropriate situation where I can use the phrase "heaving bosom" and I screw it up.  |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13812
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 5:03 pm: |
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Please try to work the term into more stories. I really enjoyed it.
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bets
Supporter
Username: Bets
Post Number: 22968
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 5:05 pm: |
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Splendid, Greenetree. Splendid! |
Virtual It Girl
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 4304
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 5:08 pm: |
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There he goes again!
 |
sac
Supporter
Username: Sac
Post Number: 3388
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 6:00 pm: |
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I think we should have an MOL "Thread of the week" award and I nominate this one for the first! |
SoOrLady
Citizen
Username: Soorlady
Post Number: 3255
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 6:37 pm: |
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Greenetree - I had a really, REALLY bad day at work... you just lightened my whole mood. And I think you could have a new career... Harliquin is calling! |
CLK
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 2204
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 6:39 pm: |
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SoOrLady, I had the exact same thought. Harlequin, Silhoutte ... the sky is the limit!! I've never read one of those things but I'd bet good money that greenetree's writing is a LOT better than most of those. |
red
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 5382
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 6:41 pm: |
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greentree, that is just, the most, (sob) amazing, story ever....
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Hank Zona
Supporter
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 5519
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 6:49 pm: |
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Dear Forum:
So many folks start their letters saying they never thought they'd be writing to you, but I figured it would just be a matter of time for me. One day, while sitting in an internet cafe in a major metropolitan city near New Jersey, I looked up from my keyboard to sip my double mocha macchiato with just a hint of foam and noticed a reflection on my screen. At first, I thought it was a picture I had been viewing posted by this guy, Monster, but then I turned and saw her standing there.... |
Monster©
Supporter
Username: Monster
Post Number: 2847
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 12:21 am: |
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Tom Kerns
Supporter
Username: Tom_kerns
Post Number: 339
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 12:22 am: |
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Who's "Forum"?? |
Scully
Citizen
Username: Scully
Post Number: 342
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 4:55 am: |
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It's (was?) a magazine. Now seems to be an adult
message board. People write in their (soft porn)
fantasies either as such, or as experiences they
claimed to have had... |
Hank Zona
Supporter
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 5521
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 8:28 am: |
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it's a message board now?!?! the things one learns from MOL! I just remember it being a popular read at times way back in college. I did interview a woman once who worked for Penthouse (where the letters originally appeared)..she had been in the finance department, not displayed in the pages of the magazine. So I go the whole interview and I ask her if she has any questions...she asks why I hadnt asked her anything about Penthouse. I said, OK, are those Forum letters for real or the work of a creative writing department? She swore they were real and that all they did was clean up the spelling and punctuation and grammar. She did say they would be mailed in (this was long before email) on all sorts of things, like pieces of cardboard and paper bags. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7350
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 8:37 am: |
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When I was about 12, one of my friends stole her father's Penthouse (now I'm old enough to wonder what the hell was wrong with him not hiding it better with kids in the house; it was in the nightstand) and reading some of those letters out loud.
I'm still trying to figure out the one from the guy who was really turned on by the fact that his girlfriend had pubic hair in some very unusual places. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 13816
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 10:54 am: |
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Like where?
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greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 7351
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 2:39 pm: |
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Un-uh. But, I'll throw you a bone:
"Heaving Bosom" |
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