| Author | Message | ||
     Soda Citizen Username: Soda Post Number: 1048 Registered: 5-2001  |
True. It's a system of traffic flow devised millenia ago, at the request of the bats, by one of the fraternal orders to which I happen to belong, Dieties for Order in Transit (D.O.T.). It happened this way: The poor creatures, despite having that nifty bio-sonar dealie you've heard about all these years, are actually incredibly klutzy, and, of course, blind as bats. They were always slamming into each other at dawn and at dusk (rush hour), leaving and entering their caves. The predictable results of these flying fenderbenders: hundreds of pissed-off bats falling unceremoniously into their own fecal material on the cave floor every morning and evening... Not very conducive to bat health or sanitation, let alone grooming. My buds and I were assured of a good chuckle whenever we'd hang out to watch this pathetic display, but after a while the critters started to resent our jocularity. "Hey, smart guy!", one of them shouted up at us one night from the six inches of muck he'd fallen into. "How about you try to help us figure a way so this crap doesn't happen all the time?" It seemed like a reasonable request. So we designated Hepsibah Barnes, the wizard who drew up the planetary orbits for your solar system, to put a team together to solve the bats' little merging problem. They came up with the Guano Prevention System (GPS): Leave your cave to the left, and enter from the right. Problem solved. Your welcome. BTW: Hepsibah's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, Henry, was something of a wizard himself. He became Traffic Commish in the Big Apple, invented the term "Don't Block The Box", and created something called the "Barnes Dance", which came in just behind the "Hully-Gully" and the "Tighten-Up" in the 1962 Hit Parade Dance Popularity Poll. | ||
| #9Dream Citizen Username: 9dream Post Number: 497 Registered: 12-2002  |
JESSE OROSCO??? Why don't they just hand the ball to Stottlemyre while they're at it! Guidry may be available too. | ||
| duncanrogers Citizen Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 619 Registered: 12-2001  |
I was sitting in the rockies one day, a typical John Denver Colorado Rocky mountain high, when a chipmunk camd and sat on my knee and looked as if I might have some food for him. I didnt. | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 212 Registered: 5-2001 |
1. Ghosts are not just in haunted old buildings. Ghosts are almost everywhere in one form or another. So don't be afraid to take photos at the mall or out on a busy intersection at night, or anywhere else for that matter. 2. When you take photos at night, let's say in a cemetery etc. make sure you have you camera set for night filming. If your camera has this setting, please use it otherwise your photos might come out to dark or fuzzy. 3. Always take photos of something and not just a clearing. Having a background image such as a tombstone, tree, building etc., It adds to the quality of the photo and allows mild light reflection for best possible results. 4. Take lots of pictures! Takes photos of anything & everything with a good background image. The odds are good that you will capture an anomaly if you take at least 50 pictures on your hunt. Then again, you might just get some great stuff on your first roll, you just never know. 5. When taking your photos, make sure to avoid shinny surfaces. The shine from a glossy tombstone or pane of glass etc. can cause anomalies that can appear to look like ghost mist, fog & orb shapes. Oh, and never try taking photos through a glass window. It's just to easy to create shapes that aren't really there. Not worth wondering if it was created from the glass or not. Old glass is the worst. 6. Make sure your camera lens is clean at all times. Again, this can cause anomaly type images to appear. If the lens has a smudge it can easily show up on several pictures and can look like an anomaly, so look for that sign. Try to always keep your lens spotless. 7. Make sure you know where your camera strap & lens cover are at all times. These can appear as a vortex or other ghostly images if left to dangle free from the camera. If your thumb or finger is in the way of the lens it can cause this same effect. 8. Make sure long hair is tied back. Hair can also appear as a ghostly anomaly. Strains of hair can look like orbs in motion as well as ghost energy. 9. Completely avoid taking photos when conditions are windy, foggy, rainy, dusty and where it's snowing or when moisture is in the air. All of these conditions can cause images to appear that look exactly like orbs and ghostly anomalies. 10. In cold weather make sure your breath is not affecting the photo results. Exhaled air in cold weather can appear in front of the lens to create all sorts of strange elusions including mist & orbs shapes. 11. A condition called "Lens Flair" produces strange effects in your photos. To avoid this do not take photos in the direction of the sun. Also, never take a picture in the direction of any direct light source. Preferably have all light sources away from you or even behind you when snapping your photos. | ||
| Dave Ross Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 4897 Registered: 5-2001  |
There is a chemical waste dump in the Soviet Union that is twice as big as the whole state of Vermont. | ||
| bella Citizen Username: Bella Post Number: 323 Registered: 7-2001 |
Loly loly, get your adverbs here. | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 213 Registered: 5-2001 |
Franks Sinatra was born in Hoboken, but often said he was from Hackensack. | ||
| Joan Citizen Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 1779 Registered: 5-2001 |
Shots rang out in NYC's City Hall a few hours ago. One of the City Councilpersons (Davis from Brooklyn) was killed. Another, unidentified person, was critically injured. Subway service has resumed in Lower Manhattan. | ||
| justmelaura Citizen Username: Justmelaura Post Number: 226 Registered: 5-2001 |
'Attention KMart Shoppers: Do you really need all that crap?' jml plagiarized from js | ||
| bets Citizen Username: Bets Post Number: 352 Registered: 6-2001  |
Soda's just POP in Michigan! | ||
| Hank Zona Citizen Username: Hankzona Post Number: 666 Registered: 3-2002 |
In 1977 there were 37 ELvis impersonators in the world. In 1993, there were 48,000 Elvis impersonators in the world. At that rate, by 2010, one out of every three people will be an Elvis impersonator. | ||
| ml1 Citizen Username: Ml1 Post Number: 1136 Registered: 5-2002  |
thank you, thank you very much. | ||
| Cedar Citizen Username: Cedar Post Number: 69 Registered: 10-2002 |
Uhhhhh.....that is NOT thread drift! BTW, I LOVE this (not) thread! | ||
| Flt Citizen Username: Flt Post Number: 64 Registered: 3-2003 |
Poodles? | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 214 Registered: 5-2001 |
Pernil Al Horno - Roast Pork Shoulder 5 Pounds Pork shoulder 6 Garlic cloves 1/4 Teaspoon Black pepper 1 Teaspoon Oregano 1 1/2 Tablespoons Olive oil 1 1/2 Tablespoons Vinager 1 Teaspoon Salt -- for every pound of meat Remove the skin and any fat from the pork shoulder. Make very small cuts over the top of the pork, not more that 1/8 inch deep. Do not make deep cuts in the meat. Set aside. With a mortar and pestle; crush garlic, oregano and black pepper together. Add olive oil, vinager and salt; mix well. Spread the garlic mixture well over the pork shoulder. Refrigerate the shoulder for 24 hours. Cook in a pre-heated, 350^ oven for about 2 1/2 hours or until well cooked. | ||
| Joan Citizen Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 1780 Registered: 5-2001 |
There is a black hole in my house which continues to suck in the most amazing things. In the past week it has absorbed: 1 black gold toe sock (washable wool) a partially completed crossword puzzle magazine - the pencil, which had been used as a book mark was found abandoned on the shag carpet. a pair of red folding travel slippers one size 16 blunt tipped tapestry needle 1 stainless steel tablespoon two packages of chocolate flavored fat free cookies | ||
| duncanrogers Citizen Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 621 Registered: 12-2001 |
Joan..I ate the cookies | ||
| Hank Zona Citizen Username: Hankzona Post Number: 667 Registered: 3-2002 |
Today is the twentieth anniversary of the famous pine tar incident involving George Brett of the Kansas City Royals in a memorable game against the Yankees. Of course, if youre not a baseball fan, its probably not all that famous or memorable. After hitting a home run off of Goose Gossage to take the lead in the top of the ninth, Billy Martin protested that there was too much pine tar on Brett's bat. The umpire measured the bat against home plate, 17" across, and saw that the pine tar exceeded the 18" limit up the handle, and voided the home run. Brett went ballistic (his sons ask him to this day if they can see the "crazy man" video), the Yankees won the game, temporarily. The league re-instated the home run and a few weeks later, Kansas City came to town to finish the last four outs of the game, taking a total of 12 minutes. Brett said the bat he used for his 3000th career hit had way more pine tar on it than the home run bat, but noone since has been penalized. He also said he gets remarks about it all the time still..even the checkout guy at Home Depot recently told him they dont carry pine tar. But he added he's happier to be remembered for that incident rather than the hemmoroid commercials he did. The bat is now in Cooperstown. | ||
| tom Citizen Username: Tom Post Number: 1062 Registered: 5-2001 |
I remember watching a Yankees Replay of that game not too long ago. The announcers spent a little time talking about the just-up-from-the-minors first baseman, for whom they predicted great, one Don Mattingly. I used to hate seeing KC come to town, particularly because Brett was so dominating for a couple of years. It was nearly impossible to get him out. | ||
| Soda Citizen Username: Soda Post Number: 1049 Registered: 5-2001 |
Dearest Buzzsaw: Your remarkably clear & cogent photography tips notwithstanding, there are no such things as ghosts. We in the biz have always preferred jargon which is a bit more technically correct: "spirits". Intense media focus and pop mythology over the past 200 years or so, however, have brought such arcane and misleading terms as "apparition", "ectoplasm", "spooks" and, of course the lamentable "ghosts", into mainstream public discourse. Please don't be too hard on yourself, Buzzsaw. Your little gaffe is only too common. In fact, we usually let it pass (no pun intended), but I thought a prompt correction on the erroneous lingo would be prudent. We don't want our spirit friends beseiged by hordes of malaproparrazzi's, now do we? --The Oracle of MOL BTW: We like Tri-X. It's black & white & greyscale , which are the Official Colors of the NBA (Not Breathing Anymore). Also, it's fast enough to catch us, and slow enough for good resolution and depth of field. You're welcome. |
