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greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1890
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 10:13 am: |     |
Well, maybe not. Reformed Jews don't believe in Hell, so maybe that will save me.
Last night, The Spouse and I were in the kitchen about 5:45p. She was making chili for dinner, I was finishing X-mas cookies (she was raised Baptist, so I'm allowed, OK?), the fire was going in the living room, the Xmas music was playing (sorry, but Nat King Cole never did a Hanukah album).
The doorbell rings. I go to answer. There stand two nuns, wearing name tags that say "Jesus Christ". They are carrying bibles and leaflets. Not the Jehovah's Witnesses we usually get. I'm never rude to these people; I wish they wouldn't ring my doorbell, but they are always polite, and it takes 2 seconds to say "No, thank you. Have a nice day".
Not last night - in the spirit of the season, I decide to explain "No, thank you. We're Jewish". They give me a puzzled look and said "Um...OK. Happy Holidays".
I return to the kitchen, where TS has her own puzzled look. "What do your think they thought of the huge wreath and icicle lights on the outside of the house," asks she.
Oh, lordy, lordy! I swear, I wasn't thinking about it. Now, I am laughing, tears running down my face, while feeling bad that they assumed that I was being rude just to get rid of them. Oh - I really do feel bad. A few minutes later I say "Well, at least we don't have the 9 foot Xmas tree in the window this year". She agrees that not having a tree is a good thing in this case.
An hour later, I walk into the living room and look out the window. Straight at the little Xmas tree, complete with a miniature strand of lights, next to the front door on the stoop.
So much for not having a tree, either. |
Dave Ross
Supporter
Username: Dave
Post Number: 5991
Registered: 4-1998
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 11:16 am: | |
Were they nuns or were they casing your house?
now I'm going to hell |
bobk
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 4110
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 11:22 am: | |
Greenmeanie:
Were the nuns in habits? The number of nuns outside of a few cloistered orders who wear the full regalia these days approachs zero.
In NYC a couple of years ago there was a scam involving begging "nuns", who weren't.
It is horrible how suspicious I have become. 
And Merry Christmas to your spouse, MOL's longest suffering off screen character.  |
us2innj
Citizen
Username: Us2innj
Post Number: 946
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 11:30 am: | |
Wasn't Whoopi Goldberg a lounge singer? |
shh
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 822
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 11:32 am: | |
Sounds like something I'd say.
Actually, I usually say, "no thanks, I'm an atheist."
If you're burning in their hell, I'll be right there next to you.  |
shoshannah
Citizen
Username: Shoshannah
Post Number: 345
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 11:33 am: | |
Unless you feel that being Jewish is a condition from which you need to recover, it is *Reform* Jew (___temple ____congreation, ____judiaism), not reformed. Just a pet peeve of mine. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1892
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 11:46 am: | |
I think they were real. They looked so, well, pious. They weren't in full habits; they had on a couple nun-like articles of clothing that the nuns at one of my hospitals years ago.
Shoshanna- One could debate the recovery thing. Which would explain the wreath on the front of the house.
Actually - it's worse. I've been attending the Human Secular Rosh Hashana & Yom Kippur services the past few years. Or, as they are known to my Orthodox-raised, currently married to a Catholic father: The Atheist Jews.
Bob - TS says thank you & Merry Xmas to you, too.
This is actually one of the few threads in whcih I can actually tell her she is a character  |
drewdix
Citizen
Username: Drewdix
Post Number: 422
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 12:09 pm: | |
No need to make a connection between lights, wreaths and a decorated tree in your house historically to Christianity if you don't want to.
They're all pagan "Festival of Lights" rituals that somewhere along the line were co-opted by Christians for the season. It's become part of Christmas, and it's all delightful.
Heck, we love a tree and lights and family gatherings and the fireplace, and hey, why not give some presents (we're not Christian)?
The common image of the jolly red-nosed Santa was concocted by the Coca-Cola company.
It can be a great time of year. Happy Holidays! |
Ukealalio
Citizen
Username: Ukealalio
Post Number: 289
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 1:22 pm: | |
Hey you can always put a pentagram on your front lawn along with a sign on your door saying, President of the Anton Lavey fan club. It will probably stop anyone from a Judeo-Christian background from knocking. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1893
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 1:58 pm: | |
When I lived in Brooklyn, Flatbush to be exact, we had a lot of Jehovah's Witnesses who would get into the building and knock on apartment doors all day. Now, that totally violated NYC-apartment etiquette, so I wasn't as polite. The best, tho, was the guy upstairs from me. He was over 6' tall and had to weigh close to 300 lbs, and it wasn't muscle. They knocked one day when he had just gotten out of the shower. He answered the door as-is, no towel, and invited them in.
We didn't have a lot of those visits after that. |
Ukealalio
Citizen
Username: Ukealalio
Post Number: 291
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 2:05 pm: | |
Yea but I wanna know if the Jehovah's Witnesses left the apartment singing, "Whole Lotta Love"?. |
Soda
Citizen
Username: Soda
Post Number: 1147
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 2:06 pm: | |
Greenetree:
I just checked it out with my ex-boss: You may, in fact not be headed for ayche-e-double-hockeystyx, but even if you are (based on stuff you haven't told us yet), not to worry. The Owner recently concluded a deal with Trammell-Crowe, whereby the property is to be developed into a lovely community of 750,000,000,000 high-end condominiums called "Dante Vista", complete with a 9-hole par 125 pitch&putt course (entirely comprised of sand traps, natch), two (heated) Olympic-size pools, an opulent Rec Center containing exorcize equipment and a gourmet eatery ("The Eternal Restaurant"). TCR has also graciously agreed not to develop the area known as "The Hottest Places", so that it can remain in its natural state, as a reserve for those who, during times of moral crisis, have remained NIMBY.
So dontcha worry, my epistemologically-confused friend. My guess is that you'll wind up either in Heaven, or just dead, depending upon which faith-based scenario you decide to believe.
--Soda
BTW: No Menorah? It couldn't hurt... |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1894
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 2:33 pm: | |
Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that. I do have a menorah, and we even light the candles.
Soda- that's great news. If you don't mind asking your ex-boss a question: Can I reserve a two-bedrrom with den overlooking the Hottest Places? If I can't get a view, I'll go with the Atheist Jews & just be dead. |
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 1507
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 2:40 pm: | |
My wife is so sweet. This summer, she invited the Jehovah's Witnesses in for tea when I wasn't home. They come by and ask how she is when she's out. A couple of other times when we were both home, we sat out on the porch and skirted around our differences in beliefs and found common ground to discuss. It melts my heart that this has happened. I don't think I would have been as open minded to proselytizers. But maybe these two women are gentler than the typical ones. I don't like the idea of religious people coming to my home, but in practice, it has been OK.
Tom Reingold
There is nothing
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sportsnut
Citizen
Username: Sportsnut
Post Number: 793
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 3:09 pm: | |
Greentree - where in flatbush? I used to live on Foster Ave. between 22nd and 23rd. Not too far from Brooklyn College.
I had the LDS people come to my door on Thursday. |
Soda
Citizen
Username: Soda
Post Number: 1148
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 4:02 pm: | |
Greentree:
Here's the scoop, per the Oracle:
"*As is the case with most hot real estate markets, it's strictly first-come-first-served down there. However,
*The Soul Sales Agent for the place has advised me that, barring an unforseen Flu pandemic, meteor impact, or four more years of Republican Presidency, there should be available units sufficient to last until approximately the year 2470, when "Phase II" is scheduled to open. So,
*Although Greenetree sounds like a youngish fellow, and, it'll probably be quite a while before he's ready to fork over his down-payment, he should despair not.
*About the view overlooking The Hottest Places, though, who can say? I mean, what am I, a fortune-teller or something?"
The Oracle did also say, though, that if you'd be interested in a time-share, he's considering putting his place in Boca (also nice and warm) up for limited usage come next summer...
--Soda
BTW: Why a two-bedroom? You and the wife having a few problems? Expecting the houseguests from Hell? What's the deal??? |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1896
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 4:21 pm: | |
Soda-
I am the wife, and so is The Spouse  . That little misunderstanding aside, isn't "houseguest from hell" redundant?
I figure, if they we do get them, I may as well have a place for them to sleep! |
Ukealalio
Citizen
Username: Ukealalio
Post Number: 294
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 4:24 pm: | |
The religous right just read your post and are arguing with Lewis Cipher about why you should get their reserved (hot) spot. |
Soda
Citizen
Username: Soda
Post Number: 1150
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003 - 4:32 pm: | |
Greenetree:
*In that case, humble apologies for referring to you as "epistemologically confused".
*Re: those potential houseguests, my policy has always been "No rest for the wicked".
--Soda
BTW: The Oracle wanted me to add that the place in Boca's got a mirrored bedroom ceiling, if that's any incentive to ya... |
flugermongers
Citizen
Username: Flugermongers
Post Number: 71
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 23, 2003 - 2:40 am: | |
Didn't your mommies ever tell you not to open the door for strangers????? |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1898
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 23, 2003 - 9:09 am: | |
Sports, it was Buckingham off of Church (?). Can't beleive I don't remember.... we were one of the only apartment buildings on a pretty side street, with an island in the middle, full of grand old houses. It was on the D line & I was there from 1984-1985.
Soda - at my age, mirror reflections during physical activity are depressing, so I'll pass.
BTW- confirmed by the neighbirs last night: they were Mormoms. |
Soda
Citizen
Username: Soda
Post Number: 1152
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 23, 2003 - 11:20 am: | |
FOR GREENETREE IN HER PRIME:
Mirror, Mirror, on the ceiling,
All my flaws you are revealing!
Where I once was firm and toney,
Now's it's firm as zabaglione.
And my once-admired torso:
Cottage cheesey, only more so.
Once so quick to rumple bedding,
Now real passion's tougher sledding.
Nibbling on my fairest feature?
Now she's distant. I can reach her.
Oh, thou nasty looking glass,
Reflect on this: You can kiss my ass!
Happy Holidays Anyhow!
--Soda
BTW: The Oracle's into threesomes. (Just ask Dave and DWM!)
|
sportsnut
Citizen
Username: Sportsnut
Post Number: 794
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 23, 2003 - 11:29 am: | |
Greenetree - you were on the other side of Flatbush Ave. I lived there until '72 then we moved out. Went back in the early '90s and was depressed...... |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1899
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 23, 2003 - 11:46 am: | |
Oracle - Thanks for the offer, but, I can barely stand to see myself naked & I turn out the lights before TS does. No way a 3rd party is going to get a chance to see how my thighs have fallen down to my ankles. 
Sports- I can imagine; things were starting to turn when I left. I went to what was then considered Windsor Terrace, but is now part of Park Slope. |
Redsox
Citizen
Username: Redsox
Post Number: 385
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Friday, December 26, 2003 - 7:26 pm: | |
btw
i know of no order of roman catholic nuns that solicit door to door- unheard of.... |
bix
Citizen
Username: Bix
Post Number: 69
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, December 26, 2003 - 10:49 pm: | |
Redsox,
The Holy Order of Great Knockers |
Redsox
Citizen
Username: Redsox
Post Number: 386
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Monday, December 29, 2003 - 9:45 am: | |
bix, outstanding post
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