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Message |
    
ffof
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 1868
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 2:59 pm: |     |
def jam, baby!
My son was shocked to find out that I knew Steve Miller songs! lol |
Waldo
Citizen
Username: Discowaldo
Post Number: 32
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 4:25 pm: | |
shoshannah
I dont feel that the origin of the style should really be a reason to prevent children from dressing that way. Halloween originated with animal and human sacrifices and we still let our children dress up and collect candy. |
shoshannah
Citizen
Username: Shoshannah
Post Number: 356
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 5:13 pm: | |
No matter, I don't want my kids to emulate prisoners. |
jmfromsouthorange
Citizen
Username: Jmfromsorange
Post Number: 22
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 3:22 pm: | |
i wonder how many parents would let their children wear those low hanging pants if they know where the 'trend' started? it started in jails and prisons. yep, that's right. most jails / prisons take away their 'guests' belts. this caused their pants to hang low. wannabe gang memebers on the outside started to copy this trend. (at least thatr's what a newspaper article said the other day). |
shoshannah
Citizen
Username: Shoshannah
Post Number: 357
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 4:38 pm: | |
Didn't I just say that? Waldo said it didn't matter to him. |
jmfromsouthorange
Citizen
Username: Jmfromsorange
Post Number: 24
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 11:36 pm: | |
sorry shoshannah i didn't see your post abour the prisons until after i sent mine. i think it's horrible the way kids go to school these days. even worse for the parents who let them! when we were kids we wouldn't even dream of wearing sweats to school, let alone some of the t-shirts kids wear! i'm sorry, i seriously doubt you'll find many of the kids in the ap classes dressing as if they're from the hood! all a parent has to do to prevent their kid from wearing something the parrent doesn't want the kid to wear is not buy it for them. simple, end of story...
whatever happened to dress codes? |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 147
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 12:54 am: | |
Pick your battles with your children. Clothes are trivial. Save your energy for the big stuff. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 368
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 8:28 am: | |
A friend who used to teach middle and high school once told me that schools, at least, do well to focus on the little infractions as this keeps kids fussing about little stuff (what's on t shirts, being late to class) and not moving on to larger llimits. A slippery slope/broken windows sort of phhilosophy, I think. Not sure what I think as my kid is not there yet, but for me, I think this philosophy is more right than wrong for my kid. |
mtierney
Citizen
Username: Mtierney
Post Number: 478
Registered: 3-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 1, 2004 - 8:32 pm: | |
When my daughter was a teen, she drove me wild. I had a conversation with her today as she (now a soccer mom) confided that she was concerned about her 11 year old son's desire to look weird!
What goes around, comes around
I reminded her of her ideas of wanting to dress like a hooker (my term) and the battles we waged in department stores during shopping trips!
It's hard for her to accept that this is just a phase with her son - she is afraid if she handles it poorly, things will get worse.
I reminded her that it's tough being a parent!
I have always held to my mother's firm belief: "You can't tell a book by its cover."
Kids trying to look like tattoed ex-cons and dress like druggies cannot be surprised that teachers, parents and others think of them as losers.
My advice to my daughter today was to be sure that the clothes she buys for him meets her standards. When he is old enough to purchase his own clothes, he can express himself. Chances are that by that time, he will have out grown the need to look like that.
BTW, having raised 4 kids in the turbulent '70s, I think you have to keep you eye on the little battles along the way - otherwise you'll never see the big one coming!
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naborly
Citizen
Username: Naborly
Post Number: 288
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 1, 2004 - 9:53 pm: | |
"Pick your battles with your children. Clothes are trivial. Save your energy for the big stuff."
--- Lizziecat, you're saying exactly what I feel too.
We parents cannot be so old that we've forgotten the gravely important decisions we had to make regarding fashion and individuality when we were teens. It's not so different now. I'm even surprised that this thread has gotten so much activity! Come on ... the important stuff is really their view on drugs, smoking, drinking and sex. |
Waldo
Citizen
Username: Discowaldo
Post Number: 35
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, February 1, 2004 - 11:00 pm: | |
Good point Lizziecat and naborly. |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 1951
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, February 1, 2004 - 11:36 pm: | |
My 12 year old wants to look punk. It's OK with me, except for the piercings. I think she wants me to fight her a bit more, because she's still having an identity crisis. I'm going to rent the movie Ghost World for her.
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
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Ukealalio
Citizen
Username: Ukealalio
Post Number: 413
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, February 1, 2004 - 11:54 pm: | |
My 10 year old, skateboarding, heavy-metal loving son frequently tells me to, "Turn the music down". Now whats with that ?. |
mtierney
Citizen
Username: Mtierney
Post Number: 479
Registered: 3-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 - 12:56 pm: | |
Sorry to disagree, but that "pick your battles" theory is IMHO a parental cop-out. Parents today want to be their children's friends. Kids need parents who bring a modicum of control and direction into their lives.
Don't be afraid of your kids! Of course, don't be a tyrant to them either, obviously. Discuss your objections to their wanting to look like a druggie or punk. You may learn a great deal about what your kids are trying to cope with and who their friends are.
The best friends your kids will ever have are caring parents.
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Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 1973
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 - 12:58 pm: | |
mtierney, I think you misunderstand. Pick your battles doesn't mean don't have battles. It means don't sweat the small stuff. Which is small and which is big is up to the parents, doncha think?
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
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Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 150
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 - 1:32 pm: | |
By picking one's battles, I mean save your energy for the things that really matter. Generally, clothes don't matter that much. Children should have the right to choose clothes that they like and feel comfortable wearing, that don't make them look different from the other kids. It has been my experience, as a parent, a grandparent, and, long ago, as an adolescent child, that fighting over clothes and hair can be a source of deep and long-lived resentment. It just isn't worth it.
I would certainly be concerned about piercings and/or tatooings because of the health hazards that they present, i.e. hepatitis and AIDS. If my child wanted his or her ears pierced, I would insist that it be done by a reputable, sanitary, technician. Tatoos creep me out; fortunately that never came up with my kids. I would also not allow my daughters--if I had any--to leave the house looking like tiny hookers. But other than that, I think that kids should have some latitude in choosing their clothes or hair styles. No matter how bizarre we think that they look, they think that they look great, and a lot of what they wear is worn to shock or repel their elders. If you can pretend to not notice, if you can refrain from commenting adversely--no matter how weird they look, if you can even seem to approve--they will tone down the weirdness faster than if you keep fighting about it.
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Brett
Citizen
Username: Bmalibashksa
Post Number: 648
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 - 1:38 pm: | |
I agree with not letting you daughters leave the house looking like “Tiny Hookers”, “Big Hookers” are fine, because Big Hookers scare me. |
notehead
Citizen
Username: Notehead
Post Number: 916
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 - 2:30 pm: | |
Lizzie, I think you're right on. |
shh
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 914
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 - 3:19 pm: | |
Oh, just wait Notehead... (I'm going to print this out and stick it in a drawer for a dozen or so years.)
That said, I think I won't have so much of an issue with makeup and heels (I was a 60lb 6th grader with high heels and tons of glitter) but I would have to have serious talks about piercings (in places other than earlobes) and tattoos. My brother got hepatitis from piercing his ears (though he says) after we convinced him against a tattoo. I mean, if you're an adult and decide to get a tattoo, fine, but 16 year olds getting them on a whim? OTOH, my other brother, a more conservative guy, was married and divorced pretty young. After the divorce, he got a HUGE tattoo of a donkey on his back (he's in politics) and even though his current wife isn't too fond of it, it represents part of his life and who he is, and what he was rebelling against at the time. |
Waldo
Citizen
Username: Discowaldo
Post Number: 36
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 4, 2004 - 12:25 pm: | |
I am against a tattoo at a young age because you will have it for life. A friend of mine got his girlfriend's name tattooed on his arm when we were only juniors in highschool. Now years later he is no longer with this girl and had to get her name turned into some design that just looks horrible now. I'm not against a tattoo, I just think it should wait. Piercings are a different story. I am against piercings on the face at a young age because i have heard of them causing damage and they are not easily removed. In the ear i dont really see a problem with, because they can be regulated. Let them know that they are fine to wear in a social atmosphere but they should be taken out for job interviews and things of that nature. The same goes for clothes, let them dress however they feel comfortable, but make sure they know that different occasions have different dress codes.
The biggest thing i think is talk to your kids. Ask them about their clothes in a nonsarcastic way, maybe take them to the mall and actually help them pick out some of their clothes that you hate so much. The more comfortable your children feel around you the more willing they will be to talk about the real important topics (drugs, sex, etc.). If everytime you see your son you scold him because of the clothes he and his friends wear, he's going to be less likely to talk to you about how his friend Billy was smoking pot. |
mtierney
Citizen
Username: Mtierney
Post Number: 480
Registered: 3-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 4, 2004 - 2:36 pm: | |
Spoke to my now soccer mom daughter today again and I commented on the little battles theory to her.
She has another problem now with her 11 year old who wants to wear all black, beads, etc. and she was trying to go along with "it's only clothes" concept.
He told her a classmate has been calling him "a devil worshiper" (where did that come from?). My grandson doesn't understand that the clothes he wants to wear make statements about who he is - even if the statements are totally not accurate. He wanted to fit into middle school and now he has apparently created an image he will have to live down. My daughter also says that the clothes affects the way teachers view a child as unfair as that may be.
She let him have his way with clothing decisions since September, and now really doesn't know how to undo the results. |
J. Crohn
Citizen
Username: Jcrohn
Post Number: 882
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 4, 2004 - 3:48 pm: | |
I really like Happyman's methods. Waving a big needle around strikes me as an excellent way to deter excessive piercings.
(I once pierced my own ear with a brooch pin and some Jack Daniels. Someone told me I also needed a potato, but it turned out to be completely unnecessary.)
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jet
Citizen
Username: Jet
Post Number: 352
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 4, 2004 - 4:27 pm: | |
Tats need to mean something , lost loved ones , children , something you belong to . Something that you what to carry with you for the rest of your life. The current tat craze that I find most ubsurd, is the stripper scrowll on the lower backs of girls. |
Marvin Gardens
Citizen
Username: Marvin_gardens
Post Number: 66
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 4, 2004 - 5:19 pm: | |
I'm going to rent the movie Ghost World for her.
Don't children read any more??? Parents are always sticking their kids in front of the television when there is a problem and they wonder why they are confused. Get her the Graphic Novel by Daniel Clowes that the movie was made from.
_______________
Do Not Pass Go |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 1995
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 4, 2004 - 5:21 pm: | |
You don't know my kid. She's 12, and I'm 43, and she's almost read more than I have already. It's hard to peel her away from her books at times. Thanks for the book recommendation, though. I thought the movie was based on the comic book series.
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
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Waldo
Citizen
Username: Discowaldo
Post Number: 38
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 12:49 am: | |
Not to go off topic but I also though Daniel Clowes wrote comic books as opposed to novels. I actually think he was the only comic book professional to be nominated for an oscar. |
kathy
Citizen
Username: Kathy
Post Number: 733
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 1:54 pm: | |
MG did say "graphic novel" which could be called another term for a long, serious comic book. |
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