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Message |
    
Cowboy
Citizen
Username: Cowboy
Post Number: 331
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 3:25 pm: |     |
I recently came across these wonderfully funny examples of double entendres from British TV & Radio:
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
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Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
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MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.
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Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel On This Morning:
"She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
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WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's Formidable lead:
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
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CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
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STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
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THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away...
"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
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WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a Big race when he said:
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions.
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A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
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Metro Radio -
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
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Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator -
"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
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New Zealand Rugby Commentator -
"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
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Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator -
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" |
chocoholic
Citizen
Username: Shrink
Post Number: 111
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 3:57 pm: | |
Cowboy,
You seem sexually preoccupied. |
Cowboy
Citizen
Username: Cowboy
Post Number: 332
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 4:30 pm: | |
I appreciate that chocoholic. Thank you for reminding me about the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1987
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 5:28 pm: | |
My facialist, for whom English is a second language, scolding me after picking at a blemish:
"Did you enjoy touching yourself"?
I didn't have the heart to tell her how that phrase is usually used! |
thegoodsgt
Citizen
Username: Thegoodsgt
Post Number: 377
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 8:51 am: | |
A few years ago I was visiting friends who have two daughters, then ages 7 and 8. We were out in their minivan running errands, and one of the kids asked their mom what we were all going to do that evening. Karen responded, "Well, we're going to go to Blockbuster to pick out a movie for all of us to watch, and then after you go to bed, your dad and I and Mr. Steve are going to watch an adult movie."
The three of us adults laughed. The kids obviously didn't get it. |
jeffl
Citizen
Username: Jeffl
Post Number: 350
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Friday, February 13, 2004 - 9:23 pm: | |
From the original Bloopers album that I listened to 30 years ago...this was an ad on the radio:
For the lowest prices on meat go to Harry's. So remember ladies, no one can beat Harry's meat. |
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