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Message |
    
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1986
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 5:25 pm: |     |
Several years ago, my mother called me and ripped me a new &^%(*&@ because I did not send her a Valentine. She sends one every year, along with smashed chocolate, even tho I tell her that the chocolate gets thrown out.
At the time, I protested that I hadn't sent her a Valentine in years & that it is a silly Hallmark holiday that The Spouse and I do not even regularly observe (depends on the mood we're in - forced romance on schedule isn't our thing).
So, in order to keep the peace, I started sending cards. This year, I am not. I am over 40 and she has grandkids who make her Valentines.
Am I a really bad daughter? Who else sends Valentines to someone other than their spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend? |
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 228
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 6:02 pm: | |
Valentines Day is such a Hallmark holiday. I not only don't send cards to anyone else, my husband and I don't really celebrate it either.
Sounds like just a guilt trip from your mother. (My mom is just the same!)
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jem
Citizen
Username: Jem
Post Number: 899
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 6:08 pm: | |
er...I do. Valentines Day was really important to my grandfather, who was an incurable romantic. He always sent all of us cards and we always spent alot of time picking out just the right card for him, for our grandmother and for our parents. My grandparents have been gone for many years, but I still send Valentines cards to my immediate family - kids, parents, sister, nephews. It makes me feel connected to my grandfather and to my past.
But that's just me. My answer to your question is: No, you're not bad at all, greenetree. If it has no meaning for you, why do it? |
gozerbrown
Citizen
Username: Gozerbrown
Post Number: 344
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 6:14 pm: | |
My husband and I have always celebrated Valentine's Day, but not because it's a holiday -- we always just look for an excuse to buy each other something, eat dinner out, and write something nice in a card for each other. I don't have a problem with the holiday at all. Just another way of showing my appreciation to him.
As far as other people go, I used to send cards to my family, but I've really gotten out of the habit. I don't get to the store or post office on time to do it. But then again, I'm a real card person, no matter what the occasion. Our parents and some other relatives send us cards, even though we're adults. (It's always nice if there's a little something inside the card, too!) |
Brett
Citizen
Username: Bmalibashksa
Post Number: 693
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 6:29 pm: | |
Send your Mother a card, case closed.
That's just what you do for Mothers. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 387
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 7:38 pm: | |
I have godparents (at 49) who are card-a-holics. I always send them to them. Did to my parents, too, even they were in their 70's. Much as I found it a little much, I kinda honored it as something that meant something to them.
I draw the line at pets... |
Nohero
Citizen
Username: Nohero
Post Number: 2850
Registered: 10-1999
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 7:50 pm: | |
Um, I would follow the rule that someone who sends you a Valentine would like one in return. There is no logic to this, it just is.
But pets definitely deserve a Valentine. After all, if they could shop, they'd get you one ... |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 156
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 8:27 pm: | |
I always sent one to my mother because she was old and lived alone and she liked to get cards. I also send one to each of my grandchildren because I love them, and because little kids like to get mail. |
jab
Citizen
Username: Jab
Post Number: 180
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 9:09 pm: | |
I will always send my mother a Valentine's Day card, because it is important to her. However, my brothers and I quietly stopped sending Valentine's Day cards to each other at some point in or after college when our mother sopped monitoring the inter-sibling exchange of Valentine's Day cards. |
shh
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 929
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 10:15 pm: | |
My mom sent my kids each a Valentine in the mail, with a couple of bucks, even though she will see them in person on Friday. Even the 22 month old loved it. " MY card!"
I generally give my mom a little something. I'm TERRIBLE about sending cards, but I know it's important to her. In the past, I've just given my mom and my mother-in-law cards, but my dad gets insulted if I forget to mention him. Luckily we live near enough so we get to see them. I will make sure to have my kids make their grandparents Valentine's. (When they get sent is another story.) |
naborly
Citizen
Username: Naborly
Post Number: 293
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 11:40 pm: | |
Send your mom a card -- life is too short to quibble. Make her happy.
Just find a place that sells them cheap so you don't feel bitter about being "used" by Hallmark. |
CFA
Citizen
Username: Cfa
Post Number: 1024
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 4:16 am: | |
I used to send my mother a Valentine every year but from now on, I'm not. Here's the reason.
My mother doesn't go out shopping as much as she did and she LOVES QVC. For Christmas, we got her a sizeable QVC gift certificate. Well, I found out recently that my sister ran some errands for my mother and my mother gave my sister the gift certificate that we got for her. I thought that was tasteless and tacky and I'm never buying another gift. Period!!!!!!! |
ajc
Citizen
Username: Ajc
Post Number: 2436
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 6:50 am: | |
I would love to be able to send my mother a Valentine's Day card... |
CFA
Citizen
Username: Cfa
Post Number: 1025
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 7:55 am: | |
You're absolutely correct. That was a good comment to put things into perspective. Thank You. |
Ruck1977
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 30
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 8:24 am: | |
I just mailed my mother's card! |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1989
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 8:55 am: | |
Art- you are 100% correct. |
Wilkanoid
Citizen
Username: Cseleosida
Post Number: 109
Registered: 10-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 9:02 am: | |
I don't send my mother Vday cards, although I should. Spouse and I use the day as an excuse to book a sitter and go out on a date. No gifts.
I SHOULD send her a card though, now that you mentioned it. |
algebra2
Citizen
Username: Algebra2
Post Number: 1612
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 9:56 am: | |
Back in college I broke up with my long time boyfriend in December. February comes and he's crying into the phone that it's Valentine's Day and he's all alone (he was calling from a Knick game where he was with friends -- all alone?). Anyway -- I told him off and said that it was a Hallmark Holiday yada yada yada ... stop calling me. Well -- fast forward 14 years and we're happily married. If I get a Valentine's Day gift it's always the cheapest tackiest silliest piece of crap he can find.
No, I don't send them to my parents. My dad sends one each year signed "a secret admirer". |
Unhinged
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 2751
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 10:46 am: | |
I made it known to one and all that I don't like cards for environmental reasons, it's just one industry I can't support with all the paper waste. Send her an email card, but if she doesn't do email, send her a picture of a treeless landscape and a landfill dump. Just kidding! If she gets that disappointed by not getting a card, humor her and just do it. |
bpaandco
Citizen
Username: Bpaandco
Post Number: 88
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 12:14 pm: | |
My dad sent Valentine's Day cards to all the girls in the family. Each year it was different. Big ones, small ones, silly ones, sentimental ones. I'm with art. I wish my dad were still here so that I could send him one, and I wish I still got one. It's a small gesture to let whom ever know that you are thinking of them and lets them know you care. |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 2112
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 4:42 pm: | |
e-cards are fraught with viruses and spyware! I suggest writing your own letter or email.
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
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ReallyTrying
Citizen
Username: Reallytrying
Post Number: 267
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 4:46 pm: | |
I hate VD but always send a card to my parents, as they met on 2/14. This year will mark 50 years since they met.
The reason I dislike this day so much is I feel so compelled to spend money that I balk at the idea. I'm really not a bad person otherwise. |
Unhinged
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 2753
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 4:47 pm: | |
Tom,
You look great... |
ajc
Citizen
Username: Ajc
Post Number: 2438
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 5:23 pm: | |
BP,
That does it! I'm going out right now and buying all my daughter's, daughter-in-laws, and all eight grandchildren Valentine cards...
The last few years I've really dropped the ball. Being a father, and a grandfather, your post has really struck a very emotional and sentimental cord that I feel I need to address.
Thank you Greentree, CFA, actually, I would like to thank everyone for all the heart felt comments, both for and against sending cards...
Both my parents passed away in 1988, and my mother never forgot to send my five children and me a cute little card to tell us how much she loved us.
This thread has reminded me how much we appreciated her, and how much we all miss her and those silly little Valentine cards.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone. 
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mas
Citizen
Username: Maplemas
Post Number: 76
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 6:16 pm: | |
I'm sobbing uncontrollably ... I'm mailing my Mom a card (her generation's symbol for 'my kid loves me'), flowers and take her on a tour of the Hershey chocolate factory....
seriously, e-mail cards just aren't the same.
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shoshannah
Citizen
Username: Shoshannah
Post Number: 373
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 7:12 pm: | |
Tom, what's spyware? |
Joan
Citizen
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 2424
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 - 8:25 pm: | |
Sending your mother a vlentine is such a simple gesture. If it will make her happy, send her one. |
Elizabeth
Citizen
Username: Elizabeth
Post Number: 273
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 7:29 am: | |
I'm with ajc. My 99% perfect mother has a few eccentricities which bug me--but I try like crazy to indulge them all because she deserves it. My 80% aggravating father died a year ago and I'd LOVE to have 10+ more years of putting up with him. This Valentine's Day would have been my parents' 59th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary Daddy. |
Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 2133
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 5:18 pm: | |
Spyware collects data from your computer and feeds it up to collecting companies. I ran spysweeper on my computer and it found dozens of spyware programs going on. They often read your keystrokes directly. Spysweeper normally runs all the time on your computer in the background, for maximum protection. It's a scary world. And even scarier is that some so-called anti-spyware programs are actually spyware.
As far as I know, spyware runs only on Windows, so if you are using MacOS, Linux, or UNIX, you are safe for the time being.
A lot of spyware gets on your computer because you unknowingly agree to it when you agree to end user license agreements (EULA's) when you download software or go to a website. Clever, huh? There was even a virus that entered that way a little over a year ago. It said that you agree to let the software use your computer for mass mailings.
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
|
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 398
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, February 12, 2004 - 7:14 pm: | |
ajc, right on. If my parents were still alive, I'd send them cards, and my grandma, too. And my mother was a LULU!
Got one for my husband. Going to the Hallmark store near work tomorrow for silly nonsense for our daughter. Yeah, it's all tacky and overpriced, but V Day isn't the day to impose my values.
Come to think of it, I like all that chocoloate and cliche stuff, too! Happy Valentine's Day! |
gozerbrown
Citizen
Username: Gozerbrown
Post Number: 346
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Friday, February 13, 2004 - 3:09 pm: | |
Last night my dad said that he didn't send any cards out this year, but he'll send me one if he finds any that are 50% off after tomorrow. Thanks, Dad! |
Gene Z
Citizen
Username: Genez
Post Number: 2
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Friday, February 13, 2004 - 3:43 pm: | |
As a Husband, Father & Grandfather I send cards to all my girls for St. V's Day. The hard part is finding cards for grown daughters that aren't overly slobbery sentimental, or stupidly humorless.
Z |
argon_smythe
Citizen
Username: Argon_smythe
Post Number: 108
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, February 13, 2004 - 9:34 pm: | |
In the name of all that's right in the world, the woman carried you in her womb for nine months, and that's probably the least she's done for you. You can't send a stupid card? It makes her happy, costs you next to nothing, so just do it.
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Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 2153
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 2:26 pm: | |
Thanks for this thread, greenetree. I trudged over to the vehicle inspection station in Newark on Saturday morning. Mapquest estimated it would take me 14 minutes. It was wrong about that and about the route, too. The wait was about two hours. I wanted to race home, but instead, on the way home, I bought cards for my wife and both of my daughters, at the Walgreens on Irvington Ave and Manor Place, in Newark, on the Maplewood border.
I don't think my mother and I have ever exhchanged Valentine's Day cards, so I didn't bother. By her usual magic, though, her cards to my daughters arrived on precisely the right day.
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
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ajc
Citizen
Username: Ajc
Post Number: 2457
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 3:48 pm: | |
"...the Walgreens on Irvington Ave and Manor Place, in Newark, on the Maplewood border."
Isn't that a great place to shop Tom? I think the folks over on Springfield Avenue would love to have one like that to shop at. It would also be a lot safer place to go, being so close to the new police station and all... 
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Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 2155
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 3:59 pm: | |
It's a weird place, rather like Drug Fair, with an odd variety of merchandise. It's nice having it there so close, and being open 24 hours a day. But yes, I'm sure the folks near Springfield Ave would like having a place like that.
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
There is nothing
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