| Author |
Message |
    
Ed May
Citizen
Username: Edmay
Post Number: 1954
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 12:08 am: |     |
Thanks Jamie for introducing me to the world of stand up comedy!!!!
See my first ever live "stand up" comedy performance at:
http://www.jessenewman.com/images/eddie.mov
Maplewoodians and South Orangians:
What do you think?
Ed May |
llama
Citizen
Username: Llama
Post Number: 424
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 8:21 am: | |
I have to give you credit for trying, but your jokes aren't funny, yet they are better than your politics. |
Duncan
Citizen
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 1532
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 9:19 am: | |
Thanks for that 'insiteful' review. Ever hear of the old 'ism if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything??
Alls Well That Ends Well. Playing through March 7. info at http://www.hometown.aol.com/theatr1010/ |
buzzsaw
Citizen
Username: Buzzsaw
Post Number: 1167
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 5:01 pm: | |
Good Show Ed !
Don't listen to Llama, it knows nothing but anger.
There is. |
curb
Citizen
Username: Curb
Post Number: 380
Registered: 1-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 6:36 pm: | |
I aint gonna sugar coat it, That was terrible. But I`ll give you credit, you must have a hell of a big set of balls to get up there with that material. |
trapper
Citizen
Username: Trapper
Post Number: 42
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 10:54 am: | |
Ed, I'd like to donate some new material. You can use this for free:
So how about this weather, huh? It's so cold, it's down to 274 degrees. Course, that's on the Kelvin scale. Speaking of Stevens Institute of Technology, my Alma Mater, it was formerly known as Stevens Higher Institute of Technology, but no one would wear sweatshirts with S.H.I.T on them. And how bout those college nicknames? What's the deal with naming your team, anyway? Are we supposed to be intimidated by these satanic teams? The Blue Devils. Sun Devils. Oooh, we give up, they are devils! Scary! Admittedly, the names like Warriors, Fighting Illini, Red Knights have a much more bellicose connotation than some other schools. It seems like there's a direct correllation between the academic standing of the school and the nickname's intimidation factor. The best schools think colors are the way to go. Stanford Cardinal. Not the bird Cardinal, but the color cardinal. My Alma Mater, Harvard Crimson. Excuse me? Crimson? Look out everybody, the Crimson are coming! Hide your womenfolk from the Crimson! What about NYU, the Violets. There has been no recorded event in history, whereby anyone involved in a contest of athletic prowess has been psychologically intimidated by a cluster of spring flowers! Doesn't happen. Maybe Seton Hall should change its nickname from the Pirates (not very Christian for a catholic school, anyway) to The Seton Hall Vermillion? Okay, how bout the Fightin' Vermillion? The median SAT scores for entrance would skyrocket overnight.
Hoboken's a funny name, isn't it? It's actually an Indian name for "We'll be back, white man". And how bout the Jews being pissed about Mel Gibson all of a sudden? Haven't they seen Lethal Weapon? The Jews had no death penalty, unlike say, the State of Texas. Maybe if we flogged and crucified our death row inmates, we could finally realize how backwards our country is. But I love Hoboken. This is the only comedy club I've been to that hasn't actually forcibly removed me from the stage. And the Mexicans! What should we do about the influx of illegal immigration? I would post "Welcome to Venezuela" signs all across the Rio Grande. It might just work.
Well, I see the manager is flashing a light at me. That means either he's requesting permission to board, or my time is done. You've been great. Please remember your waitress, Gretchen. See ya next time. |
llama
Citizen
Username: Llama
Post Number: 425
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 4:37 pm: | |
Dear Duncan & Buzzsaw;
He asked for an opinion, and I gave an honest one, and even credit for trying. I am entitled to give an honest opinion, as you are, and that is much more valuable than a sugar coated one. If you don't have the balls to give an honest opinion, that's your problem. Now you may disagree with me, but you are not entitled to tell me what I should say or do, or expect my opinion to mirror yours in any way, so can it! |
Cutter
Citizen
Username: Cutter
Post Number: 302
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 7:57 pm: | |
Ed - Wow - I've never quite seen anything like that, you
are Rupert Pupkin. |
curb
Citizen
Username: Curb
Post Number: 382
Registered: 1-2001
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 8:10 pm: | |
I think you mean, Gotme Pukin. |
just me fromsouthorange
Citizen
Username: Jmfromsorange
Post Number: 94
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004 - 8:48 pm: | |
trapper -rotflmbo! that was great! |
ML1
Citizen
Username: Ml1
Post Number: 1568
Registered: 5-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 17, 2004 - 9:26 am: | |
trapper,
when's your next stand-up gig?
 |
Duncan
Citizen
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 1534
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 17, 2004 - 9:38 am: | |
Im sorry Llama perhaps you can show me where in Ed's post he asks for an opinion. Can you do that? No..didnt think so. So get off my back
Alls Well That Ends Well. Playing through March 7. info at http://www.hometown.aol.com/theatr1010/ |
Cutter
Citizen
Username: Cutter
Post Number: 304
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 17, 2004 - 10:06 am: | |
Duncan -
quote:Maplewoodians and South Orangians:
What do you think?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ed May
|
Duncan
Citizen
Username: Duncanrogers
Post Number: 1535
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 17, 2004 - 10:13 am: | |
I STAND CORRECTED!
APOLOGIES ALL AROUND!!!
I reacted to the post strongly cause in a thread where Ed's politics are not really in play, Llama felt the need to comment on them and that just smacked of being cheap. Thats all. But your right. Ed asked for an opinion, Llama provided one. So I apologize again for my pre-caffeinated knee jerk reply
Alls Well That Ends Well. Playing through March 7. info at http://www.hometown.aol.com/theatr1010/ |
trapper
Citizen
Username: Trapper
Post Number: 43
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 17, 2004 - 10:28 am: | |
Thanks, jmfso & ml1. Hear that Ed, they like it. Here's some more free material.
I'm Ed May. I am the funniest adjunct professor of Six Sigma ISO 9004 Applied Business Production Quality Certification Programs at the New Jersey Institute of Technology. Thank you. No really, thank you. Sometimes you can tell what people do just by looking at them.
I'm pleased to report that I'm packin' 3.2 million microns of manliness. That's right. Million with an mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I know, I know, you're saying to yourself, "that's a lot of micro-studliness", but it's all part of the Quality Assurance Program I give lectures on every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. I'll see you on Fridays anytime, baby.
Anyone here see the new twenty dollar bills? You seen em? Take one out. How the hell did John Freakin Kerry get on them so fast? I swear that's a portrait of Kerry during a Noreaster. If I were to be honored with a portrait on US currency, someone please make sure my hair is combed. Hey it could happen, ya know. They might pick me in order to make Abraham Lincoln suddenly look handsome.
I know I'm not a good looking guy, but I've got balls the size of rubik's cubes and 3.2 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmillion mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmicrons of mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmanliness.
I live in Maplewood, not too far from Jamie Ross, who is the brother of Dave Ross, the funniest man in Maplewood.
(Wait for the silence, Ed. A five count)
Damn, that's still not funny.
OK, comedy's hard so lemme get some energy from ya'll. Lemme hear ya say "OH yeah!" (point microphone to audience) [OH YEAH] (Repeat this ten times getting louder each time, and start dancing and twirling about as the croud crescendos in OH YEAH!s)
OH YEAH
OH YEAH
OH YEAH
Hang on! Wait a minute! Lemme get my ISO 10031 MicroSpectrometer! IT is! 3.0002 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmilion! Thank you HOBOKEN!!! Good NIGHT!!"
Ed, I expect you try this out and show a link on MOL soon. Let's see if we can't get ya a couple more yuks.
Your friend, Trapper.
|
aquaman
Citizen
Username: Aquaman
Post Number: 173
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 17, 2004 - 10:59 am: | |
Oh YEAH!!! |
llama
Citizen
Username: Llama
Post Number: 426
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 17, 2004 - 11:24 am: | |
Duncan;
In case you didn't notice that the content of his many of his "jokes," was political, so my response was in order. It wasn't a cheap shot, it was two birds with one stone. Hey, I even winced when people laughed at him louder than they laughed with him.
You'd better look both ways before crossing the street. Apologies accepted. |
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