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greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1295
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, October 14, 2002 - 7:14 pm: |     |
This morning, I put my eldest kitty down. She was 17 & half. She was incredibly sweet- gave kisses & let us play with her tail. She came to bed everynight when we called her. If we had company, she would come downstairs around ten & circle the living room, as if to say 'why are you still here? Don't you kow it's our bedtime'?
I rescued her from the Brooklyn ASPCA when she was 3 weeks old. She had 24 hours left before they would have put her down. I fed her Gerber's liver babyfood for a month, since she was too young to be weaned.
I had gotten her for one of my roommates as a birthday gift, but when he told me he was going to spend the summer on the Cape, let her go outside & leave her to be adopted in September, I took her back. She's been with me ever since.
My Spouse & I joke that the reason we had to move in together was that the kitty abandoned me for her.... she became my baby's favorite girlfriend.
I was 24 when we got each other. She was my first adult responsibility; she raised me. She's been in renal failure, but doing fine since last January. She started to fail badly last week & couldn't walk very well by Saturday. We cried, cuddled, petted, told her we loved her & said good-bye. She told us it was time & that it was OK.
This morning, we took her to Marc Levine & carried out the ultimate kindness. We didn't let her suffer or have any pain. We held her, petted her, sang to her during the procedure. I made the right decision; too bad it's so hard. She had a great, spoiled, coddled life. A public thank you to Dr. Levine and his receptionist Donna, for their compassion and caring.
I miss her.
Thanks for listening.... |
wharfrat
Citizen
Username: Wharfrat
Post Number: 611
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Monday, October 14, 2002 - 7:28 pm: | |
Greentree-
Having been there, I share your sympathies. Be sure your ASPCA rescued pet had a full, wonderful life, and loved you dearly.
I'm always amazed at how pets adapt to our schedules, and remind us when it's time to do something. Our dog, after eating, walking, being rubbed and taken out for a short good night pee will announce it's time for bed with a gruff yawn and then look at us impatiently if we aren't following him up the stairs. |
algebra2
Citizen
Username: Algebra2
Post Number: 602
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, October 14, 2002 - 8:33 pm: | |
Oh Greentree, thanks for the cry. My husband got me my beautiful Algebra (that's my cat's name) for my 24th birthday -- she was my first responsibility and I love her dearly. She sleeps with me every night and snores. She also loves to suck herself, which was disturbing at first -- but I've grown used to it. Thanks for sharing. |
Timmeh
Citizen
Username: Timmeh
Post Number: 517
Registered: 1-2002
| | Posted on Monday, October 14, 2002 - 8:44 pm: | |
timmeh |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1296
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, October 14, 2002 - 9:41 pm: | |
Thanks, guys. Thought I'd pop in again before I hung it up for the evening. Seeing the responses & good thoughts makes me feel better.
Our other two are off by themselves, in mourning. But the kitten came in the den with us for awhile (the elder cat was her favorite buddy). They'll get thru this, too.
One of my theories is that they don't realize that we aren't cats: we're just the big cats with the ability to fill the dishes & scoop the box.
The kitten (well, she's 1 & half) made us laugh tonight. She fell off the radiator onto her head jumping for a bug. I'd have thought she did it on purpose to make us laugh, but unfortunately, she's never been the brightest bulb on the tree. These all-too-frequent knocks to the head can't help.
Thank you again, dear friends. |
viva
Citizen
Username: Viva
Post Number: 153
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, October 14, 2002 - 11:21 pm: | |
greentree (much sympathy) and others:
a must read for cat people
http://www.smithsonianmag.si.edu/smithsonian/issues02/sep02/phenomena.html |
amandacat
Citizen
Username: Amandacat
Post Number: 36
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 15, 2002 - 3:37 pm: | |
Greenetree,
I'm so very sorry for your loss, I've been there too and know how tough it can be. We had to have our 13 year old kitty (can you guess her name?) euthanized back in May and we're still not over it, don't think we ever will be. It must be a comfort to still have the other two for company and amusement; we only ever had the one and so our house has been unnaturally quiet for months now. Not for very much longer though, as my husband and I have decided we've gone without cat love long enough, and have set ourselves the goal of a new kitty (or possibly two) for Christmas. I'm excited at the prospect, but a little nervous too -- our future cat(s) have some pretty big paw prints to fill.
Again, thanks for letting us in on your kitty's life, as well as her death. She sounds like she was one special feline.
big hug,
-amandacat |
bets
Citizen
Username: Bets
Post Number: 200
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 15, 2002 - 4:18 pm: | |
That's so sad, Greenetree. Although I know it's the right choice for the animal, it's so painful for us. I had to put my dog down two years ago, and I still miss him every day.
We now have a cat that adopted us just a few months after I had to put Max down. He's a great, affectionate, smart (he comes when he's called, too!) little darling with the unfortunate propensity to fight. He's an indoor/outdoor cat and nothing will ever change that.
Then, a week ago Sunday, my sweetie came home with an adorable 4/5 month old stray kitten. The black cat was not amused. We tried keeping them separated and slowly integrating them, but the kitten was just too traumatized. So we asked Dr. Levine what to do (just yesterday afternoon, funnily), and he said do not separate them, feed them together, use one litterbox, etc. He then told us to use a wet facecloth and wipe the cat's cheeks with it, then rub that onto the kitten's belly. Reverse the process, and the two should start getting along.
Although not too much improvement has resulted (the kitten's been behind the dryer all day), I do kind of sense that he's feeling somewhat braver while the cat is being less agressive. Let's hope!
I'm curious to know how you introduced a kitten into a house of cats? We're willing to try anything at this point!
Again, my deepest sympathies to you and your spouse (and the other kitties). It's the hardest part of being owned by an animal. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1298
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 15, 2002 - 5:56 pm: | |
Thanks again for all your good thoughts. Amanda - I know how you feel. When we had to put down my Spouse's kitty 6 years ago, it hurt so bad that we swore we'd never get another so that we wouldn't have to go thru it again. Then after watching our other kitty (the one who died yesterday) mope around feeling lonely for a month, we got her a friend.
Bets- in terms of new kitty siblings:
The older one was 11 at the time & we adopted a 5 year old. It took them about 2 weeks to settle in together. Their personalities just clicked.
Before that, when the Spouse & I moved in together, we combined her 11 year old with my 4 year old. It was 3 weeks before my kitty stopped hiding, but at the end of a month, they tolerated each other. A couple more weeks & they were best friends.
When we brought hone the baby last year (at about 4 months) the older one was 16 & adpoted her right away. The then-10 year old was more skeptical. Now, they play all the time. Although, they both snuggled separately with the older cat, but never together. I'll see what happens now that they are alone.
So, all in all, give it time. They almost always learn to love each other. Dr. Levine was right about not separating them; they just learn to live apart & its worse in the long run.
Keep us up to date & hang in there! |
Joan
Citizen
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 1055
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 15, 2002 - 7:00 pm: | |
Greentree:
My deepest sympathies. I've been there too. Fluffy (our first cat) was about 18 years old when she died about eleven years ago and we still miss her dearly. The pain of loss and separation will lessen overtime but you will never forget the wonderful times you had together. May she always live on in your memories and the memories of her feline housemates. |
us2innj
Citizen
Username: Us2innj
Post Number: 406
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2002 - 6:20 am: | |
Dear Greenetree and Spouse,
Our sympathy goes out to you both, after hearing of the loss of your feline family member.
us2 |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 1258
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2002 - 11:27 am: | |
Greenetree,
So sorry about your loss. My cat is sixteen this November and you have reminded me to pay special attention to the cranky little guy. I can't imagine not having him around.
Thanks. |
bets
Citizen
Username: Bets
Post Number: 201
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2002 - 2:31 pm: | |
Greenetree,
Thanks for the advice. I kicked the fat cat out last night for a few hours and coaxed the kitten to emerge from behind the dryer. I sat with him while he ate and wouldn't let him sneak back, and eventually he perked up and starting acting like a kitten again (which he hasn't for more than a week).
There was a bit of a fray when the cat came back and the kitten spent the night hiding behind our headboard, but the occasional spats only woke me up a few times. I have much more confidence that they will eventually tolerate each other.
Now if I could just get the little guy to stop treating my hands like squeaky toys....
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greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1302
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2002 - 3:10 pm: | |
Ah, yes. Squeeky toy syndrome. Unfortunately, there is only one cure for that & it is harder to do than to quit smoking:
You must resist playing with the kitten with your hands. Whenever he jumps at your fingers, even without teeth, substitute a toy, or so 'no' & don't touch the kitty. Good luck doing this. I hear it works really well. I've never been able to resist mushing a furball who is gnawing on my fingers. Picking them up, kissing the top of their head & saying 'don't bite' in a baby voice (my usual method) doesn't work. In fact, on occassion, our baby still likes to nibble feet in the middle of the night. |
mlj
Citizen
Username: Mlj
Post Number: 130
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2002 - 4:36 pm: | |
Greenetree, I know just how you feel. When we have lived with and loved a cat or dog like a member of the family through their life span, from babyhood to old age and the end of their road - when they have been the one constant through the many changes over the years - it is as painful a loss as any you can experience. I used to tell people when it happend to me that the pain was almost as bad as my divorce!
Some people are very unsympathetic at times like this, they don't understand a person's attachment to their pet. My Dad was so sweet in my sadness - he simply said you never get over losing a loved one, but you learn to live with it.
Over time, I have come to realize that one of the best experiences in my life and absolutely one of the most satisfying has been my relationships with my beloved pets. Amen.
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mlj
Citizen
Username: Mlj
Post Number: 131
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2002 - 4:44 pm: | |
Ok, so I am not through.
Bets, I respectfully disagree with the vet. Although he has given you some good tips, under the circumstances you describe, I think it would be OK to separate them. Gradually, you can let them spend limited time in the same space. You can also switch their separated spaces. Patience, time and trying different approaches will tell. |
bets
Citizen
Username: Bets
Post Number: 202
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, October 17, 2002 - 3:57 pm: | |
Ah yes, the nibble feet syndrome. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the little darling joined the household.
Happy to report that, though they're not the best of friends, the fighting has lessened and the baby is hiding less. Got home today to find him sleeping on the area rug in the bathroom, door open, cat home. I'm amazed! He still pauses at every doorway to check the situation before entering a room (pretty hilarious when he's in a dead run and throws the brakes on). Anyone got tips on getting him to stop shaking his head when he eats? He's the messiest eater I've ever seen! |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 1305
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, October 17, 2002 - 7:52 pm: | |
Bets-
Give it up on the eating habits. My recently-deceased kitty liked to have one kibble in her water dish. Just one. And it would get mushy & gross. Every time the water dish was changed, she would drop one back in. Guess she liked the flavor. The baby likes to play with her food: for every couple of kibbles that go in her mouth, one goes on the floor for apres-dining soccer. The other day I looked under the table for something I dropped & found a little pile of kibbles under one of the legs.
I am resigned to sweeping up kibbles for the next 17 years or so.
BTW - I am pleased to report that the two cats are now sleeping together.
To those of you who have private-lined me to express your condolences: thank you so much for your special thoughts. I know it is really tacky to answer you publicly when you took the time to write to me privately. Please forgive me & know that everyone who has written, here & PL, has been a great comfort. |
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