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Message |
    
wbg69
Citizen
Username: Wbg69
Post Number: 26
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 21, 2002 - 4:14 pm: |     |
This is a little late, considering Laughlab's study and release of the supposed World's Funniest Joke (which was good, but the WORLD's FUNNIEST??) was a month ago, but because I could really use a good laugh, can anyone pass along any good ones?
And for those who didn't catch it, here is what earned the title of The World's Funniest Joke:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"
here's the link for other contenders:
http://www.laughlab.co.uk/home.html
cheers! |
ml1
Citizen
Username: Ml1
Post Number: 342
Registered: 5-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 21, 2002 - 7:45 pm: | |
Here's another hunting joke:
Two guys are out in the woods hunting and they come upon a large black bear. The both aim and pull the trigger, but as misfortune would have it, both guns jam. Meanwhile, the bear has caught their scent and is advancing on them. As the bear closes, one hunter sits down and starts to pull on a pair of running shoes. His buddy screams at him, "Are you crazy!!! Those shoes won't help you outrun that bear! Get up and let's go!" His pal replies -- "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU!" |
patty
Citizen
Username: Patty
Post Number: 247
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, November 22, 2002 - 1:14 am: | |
Love that one. Another:
Snooty fellow drives his new Porsche in front of his London office to show off to his mates. As he steps out, a lorry barrels by and shears the door off. A bobby runs up to him as he's pacing and screaming hysterically "My Porsche, my Porsche!" The bobby says "You snobs! You have no sense of proportion! Listen to you!" The man says "What?!!!!!" The bobby says "Forget the car door; YOUR ARM'S OFF!" The snoot yells "O Bloody Hell, my Rolex!!!!!!!!!!!"
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eb1154
Citizen
Username: Eb1154
Post Number: 250
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, November 24, 2002 - 9:32 am: | |
Why are married men heavier than single men?
Because a single man comes home, goes to the fridge, sees nothing he wants and goes to bed; the married man comes home, goes to the bed, sees nothing he wants and goes to the fridge. |
buhinc
Citizen
Username: Buhinc
Post Number: 3
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 3, 2002 - 10:29 pm: | |
How do you keep a moron in suspense? |
fickle
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 876
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 3, 2002 - 10:52 pm: | |
I have a knock knock joke. You start it. |
Soda
Citizen
Username: Soda
Post Number: 832
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 4, 2002 - 8:09 am: | |
A) A little boy is crossing a busy street, and gets run over by a speeding bus. A policeman rushes over and finds the boy shaken up, but not badly hurt. Wrapping the kid in a blanket, the cops says to him, "Tell me your name, so I can tell your mother!" The boy responds, "My mother KNOWS my name."
2)A little old man is crossing a busy street, and gets run over by a speeding bus. A policeman rushes over and finds the man shaken up, but not badly hurt. Wrapping the old guy in a blanket, the cops says to him, "There, now. Are you comfortable?" The man responds, "I make a nice living." |
ajc
Citizen
Username: Ajc
Post Number: 923
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, March 1, 2003 - 10:06 am: | |
WE COULD ALL USE A LITTLE MORE HUMOR IN OUR LIVES!
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules.
It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving, as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.
In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived!
"I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was."
PS: Sure is hot down here!
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wbg69
Citizen
Username: Wbg69
Post Number: 53
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Sunday, March 9, 2003 - 5:48 pm: | |
hysterical! thanks, ajc! I laughed out loud at this one, despite being alone.
we get by with a little help from our friends... |
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