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Soda
Citizen
Username: Soda
Post Number: 873
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 24, 2002 - 10:56 pm: |     |
"Sure, you know 'em. Sure, you love 'em. They get it done, year in, year out. They leave it all out there in the snow every Christmas Eve, never looking for individual glory. It's all about the kids after all, right?
But now The Big Guy has put the word out: Next season's roster is up for grabs: "...After all, we're all gettin' up there in years now, and some of us have maybe lost a step or two. Even I haven't got too many centuries left before I may have to hang it up."
Item: Not one of Santa's current Big Eight has ever made the Top 10 Plays Of The Week (OK, maybe Rudolph, but he's just been hot-dogging in a futile attempt to make the squad, and we suspect he's not such an organization guy anyhow...).
Item: These days, when Santa wants to "call them by name", rather than relying on a somehat "iffy" memory, he refers to a laminated 3x5 index card he keeps taped to his left mitten, containing all the names and positions in the evening's lineup.
According to Coach Claus, "Next season, every last reindeer's gonna have to fight for their position. Nobody gets a bye. Beginning Thursday, I'll be scouting for free agents. It'll be a rebuilding year, but we've gotta look at the long term. I'm just tired of lacing 'em up every year with the same guys. We need some new antlers."
So saying, he has now contacted the all-knowing, all-seeing, Oracle of MOL, tasking him to seek out the world's hottest prospects.
Money is never an issue, as any North Pole alumni will tell you. "This is the pro's, Jack! It's a pride thang! We talkin' The List, man! If you can't get up for Christmas, well, don't come a-knockin' to hang up yo stockin'!"
Preferred Profile:
* Well-conditioned Team players only
* Experience with toys is a plus
* Willing to work long hours, one night per year
Knockouts:
* Any history of cohabitation with Laplanders
* Moose, bison, wildebeasts, Sbenoises, and gazelles need not apply
* No Village Trustees, or MOL employees or family members are eligible
Benefits Include:
* Full dental coverage
* We feed IAMS
(Inside Info: The Jolly One is partial to catchy names)
Please apply by posting your/your candidate's name in the thread below, along with one reason you/they belong on The Team." --The Oracle of MOL
Soda's candidate: "Olive" (The OTHER Reindeer)
Gotta go now. I think there's something on my roof. HO-HO-HO & all that... |
Joan
Citizen
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 1226
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, December 27, 2002 - 6:55 pm: | |
Reb Moishe Reindeerstein, realizing how much Dasher and company want to spend at least one Christmas Eve at home with their families, would consider it a mitzvah to fill in for one of Santa's regulars, as long as Christmas Eve doesn't fall on a Friday night. All he asks in return is that Rudolph come by and light up his house on Eref Yom Kippur.
P.S.: IAMS isn't kosher. Therefore, he asks that you feed him latkas fried in shmaltz, apple sauce, and a good schnaps(sp?).
Roger T and his crew have also volunteered to help out provided their contract gets ratified next month. If not, Santa may have to go by Waterways Ferry. |
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