| Author |
Message |
    
bookgal
Citizen
Username: Bookgal
Post Number: 395
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 8:44 pm: | 
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Does anyone know of a local group? I seem to remember posts about this last year but I can't get the search function to cooperate.Thanks.
(and no, before I get deluged with private lines from everyone who knows me...it is not for me but for a friend) |
Jackie Day
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 47
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 10:24 pm: |
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I'm recently divorced and was looking for something but came up with basically nothing, other than one in Livingston run by the Association for Jewish Women International. I tried it, and it wasn't my speed at all...you had to pay, first of all, and from my perspective all the women in it were about 10-20 years old than me (i'm in my mid 30s) and none were dealing with young kids, as I am. So I have to say, I came up dry, which was very frustrating. If your friend wants to communicate with me, let me know. It feels like I am all alone out here! |
C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 1486
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 11:56 am: |
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How about calling the NJ Self-Help Clearinghouse? They have listings for all kinds of free support groups all over the state. I can't remember their number offhand.
Cathy
aka Bacata/Nakaille
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NCJanow
Citizen
Username: Librarylady
Post Number: 886
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 12:22 pm: |
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NJ Self-Help Clearinghouse In New Jersey:1-800-367-6274
NCJ aka LL- Any and all posts are my personal opinions, not as an employee of the South Orange Public Library.
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Tommy Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 259
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 2:33 pm: |
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I bet you'd come up with a lot if you typed "divorce support" or something like that into Google. If you add "NJ" you could find a local group.
Until recently, I was a single custodial father, and a lot of my moral support came from online groups. My favorite, where I'm still a member, is a single parents mailing list. They still welcome me, since I'm their friend, even though I'm now married.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Makinglemonadechatting/
Tom Reingold
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bookgal
Citizen
Username: Bookgal
Post Number: 396
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 2:40 pm: |
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Thank you everyone. I'll pass this information along. |
Jackie Day
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 50
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 3:22 pm: |
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FYI, I did try an online search engine and still came up dry. It ended up just sending me to lame "divorce for $500" type of websites. |
Tommy Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 262
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 3:28 pm: |
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Well, gee, that's odd. I typed "divorce support nj" into google, and the third link I got looks possibly useful:
http://www.divorcenet.com/nj/nj.html
I see they have a discussion board there. The folks there might know of an in-person support group.
Also, ask your local mental health professional.
Also, there are tons of books out there which can be of use.
If you're comfortable using MOL, there's a good chance you'll like the online discussion groups, such as the one I recommended.
I happened in, by accident, to one a year or so ago that was heavily Christian, and I didn't feel all that comfortable there, but I notice the folks there were nice and supportive. There are TONS of online groups for divorce support on Yahoo alone!
Tom Reingold
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mfpark
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 5
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 23, 2003 - 3:51 pm: |
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Regarding books, two really good ones are:
Rebuilding, by Dr. Bruce Fischer
Letting Go, by Zev Wanderer.
The Fischer book is based on Kubler-Ross's theory of grief and recovery, and has some excellent thoughts on working through the process of recovery after divorce and building a new independent life. This is a good book for both parties in the divorce--the dumper (one leaving) and the dumpee (one being left).}
The Wanderer book is more behavioralist and geared for someone who has been dumped. But there are many good techniques in this book for breaking dependency on your ex-mate and getting on with your life. |
sahm
Citizen
Username: Sahm
Post Number: 22
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Friday, August 1, 2003 - 7:11 am: |
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I know of at least three moms in Mothers & More who are single or divorced. If you join M&M you have a lot of support & socializing built in. I'm thinking that the moms who are single in the group would like to get together as a sub-group.
I don't have their number off hand but they meet the second & 4th Weds. nites at Winchester Gardens at 8 p.m.
I don't know if you have someone who can watch your kids so you can make an evening meeting, but if you can it might be nice to get away & do something for yourself. They also have things going on duringthe day & weekends with kids.
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Jackie Day
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 51
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Friday, August 1, 2003 - 11:21 pm: |
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Sahm, thanks for the suggestion. I am not a M&M member, mainly because the evening meetings have always been a problem for me, even before I got divorced. I'm going to try to join, but between that and two other weekday evening monthly commitments I already have, it could be tough (and expensive) to get that much evening babysitting. |
breal
Citizen
Username: Breal
Post Number: 219
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Sunday, August 3, 2003 - 7:13 pm: |
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Book Gal--If your friend is female, she might check out the Women's Resource Center in Summit. |
bookgal
Citizen
Username: Bookgal
Post Number: 397
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, August 3, 2003 - 9:05 pm: |
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There seems to be a fair amount of potential stuff here for women which is great. However, the friend in question is male so if anyone has male specific ideas or gender neutral ideas that would be great. Thanks for all the ideas so far. |
Mr. Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 316
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 4, 2003 - 10:59 am: |
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bookgal, I'm a member of an online group for single custodial fathers. I'm married now, so I'm not a single father any more, but the group still lets me stay, since they've become like friends to me, and there's still a lot of wisdom, advice, and venting to share. If your friend is interested, he can contact me. I can give him the information. Or if he'd like to chat with a guy who's been through divorce, we can have a rap session. Also, the online group I mentioned does welcome fathers who do not have custody of their kids.
My personal email address is noglider@pobox.com
Tom Reingold
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