| Author |
Message |
    
joy
Citizen
Username: Joy
Post Number: 104
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 9:14 am: | 
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Ok - I'm at wit's end. My father is spending away the roof over my parents' head. My mother has cut up his cerdit cards at least 10 times. My father does not work and has no money coming in besides his meger social security. My mother works and with her paycheck and both their social security, they can barely meet their bills and mortgage. My father has advanced Parkinson's and begining dementia. We have managed to get his liscense suspensed - after 4 accidents. This has prompted him to buy a lawn tractor - so he can still 'drive' which will have a negative effect on their finacial situation. My mother has apoken to a lawywer and looked into divorce - but if she divorces him - she will have to pay his medical - which she cannot afford. He keeps threatening to divorce her - but he's never followed thru. They live in NY state. Is there any other options? |
jfburch
Citizen
Username: Jfburch
Post Number: 706
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 10:40 am: |
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You might try one of the caregiver resources on this NY State Dept of the Aging webpage.
http://aging.state.ny.us/caring/index.htm
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jfburch
Citizen
Username: Jfburch
Post Number: 707
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 10:40 am: |
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You might try one of the caregiver resources on this NY State Dept of the Aging webpage.
http://aging.state.ny.us/caring/index.htm
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ashear
Citizen
Username: Ashear
Post Number: 672
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 1:42 pm: |
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New York does have provisions for appointing a financial guardian, presumably your mother. I have not looked at the provision in a long time but I think she could take away his ability to withdraw money from any accounts, get the social security check sent to her, get the credit rating companies to put a hold so he could not keep getting new cards. The city bar association has a lawyer referal service that should be able to point you to people who specialize in elder law. https://www.abcny.org/lrs.html |
Joan
Citizen
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 1866
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 8:03 pm: |
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Have you considered day care for you father? A number of services provide it and it would keep your father away from the shopping malls and away from his riding mower. |
joy
Citizen
Username: Joy
Post Number: 105
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - 11:21 am: |
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Thanks for all the suggestions so far - I'm in the process of contacting an elder law specialist. I had visted the NY website - it was very helpful in getting info on suspending his liscense. We have tried daycare - he hated it.
If any one has any other experiences or info - please post it. Thanks, Joy |
Elizabeth
Citizen
Username: Elizabeth
Post Number: 223
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - 12:43 pm: |
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Joy--My father had dementia for, oh, probably 10 years. We struggled with a lot of the things you mention. My father hated daycare too--just hated it. But after several unsuccessful tries, my mother realized that he'd have to go, or she'd lose her mind. He never really stopped complaining about it, but eventually my mother sort of got used to making him go!
I highly recommend "The 36 Hour Day" if you haven't already got it. It is full of tips for coping with a loved one who has a dementing illness. And if you'd like to talk to someone who knows what it's like to have a parent who's lost it, private line me. I'd be glad to listen.
Beth Johnson Tucker |
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