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Message |
    
Spanky
Citizen
Username: Spanky
Post Number: 12
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 16, 2003 - 9:48 pm: | 
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I have recently gone back to work after having my son who is now 3 months old. He is currently in day care and I am just not very happy with it. Because I am a teacher, hiring a nanny is really not an option at $8-10 an hour. That basically negates my salary.
I work in Jersey City and he is currently in day care there. The ratio is 3:1, yet I find he gets little stimulation. It appears he spends a long time in a swing or bouncy seat, yet is not held very much. I thought he would at least get held during feedings, but yesterday I showed up while he was being fed while sitting in his seat. I am a new mom, so maybe I am being unreasonable??? It is hard enough leaving him without worrying that he is bored all day and not getting enough attention.
Does anyone have a good alternative or idea? I leave for work on the early side (6:30 am), so some of the day care programs here open too late for me to make it to work on time.
Thanks! |
akb
Citizen
Username: Akb
Post Number: 119
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 8:37 am: |
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We use Discovery and are very happy with them. My daughter is almost 3 now, and our newest addition (due in 5 weeks) will be going there too. They are great and very flexible: my husband is also a teacher (college) and they hold a place for us over the summer when we don't need daycare.
The nursery teachers are very, very kind and seem to really love the babies.
I think the earliest drop off might be 6.45 though. |
algebra2
Citizen
Username: Algebra2
Post Number: 1214
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 9:32 am: |
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6:30 is early. The YMCA most likely has a waiting list but my son started there at 3 months and we were very happy. 3:1 ratio, the kids are strolled on walks once in a while, the baby room has a deck with an awning overlooking the playground so they get lots of fresh air and "interaction" with the older kids. They open at 7:00 and their # is 762-0860. |
gemini
Citizen
Username: Gemini
Post Number: 193
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 2:00 pm: |
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Spanky,
Another good alternative would be to stay home with your baby for a couple years, tighten the belt, everyone will benefit. 3 month olds are really young for being away from mommy or daddy all day, but you knew that...I'm ready for my beating but you asked  |
pmart
Citizen
Username: Pmart
Post Number: 96
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 2:54 pm: |
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Try Annie Young. She's licensed and runs a family daycare in town. I'm not sure though, about the hours. 973.378.3789 |
Spanky
Citizen
Username: Spanky
Post Number: 13
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 6:02 pm: |
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Thanks for all of the input. You are right Gemini, staying home would be the best scenario. We've been trying to figure out how to swing it, but in the meantime I've got to get him better care. I appreciate everyone's advice. Unfortunately I work early so it rules out some good options. |
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 127
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 6:44 pm: |
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Spanky-- A suggestion if you want to try and stay at home, this is what my husband and I do. He works during the day, and I work at night. That way the kids are with one of us for most of the day. |
susan1014
Citizen
Username: Susan1014
Post Number: 46
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 6:51 pm: |
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redY67--Don't forget that Spanky is a teacher. I doubt the kids are going to be willing to come to class at night! |
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 129
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 7:00 pm: |
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susan-- She could change careers. That is what I did. I stayed at home for about six months and then went back to work at a career that allowed me flexibility with my schedule. This way I didn't have to worry about daycare, and could still enjoy that valuable time with my kids. |
clkelley
Citizen
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 13
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 9:01 pm: |
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I would try a family day-care provider. My daughter was in family day-care from age 6 months until she went to kindergarden, and it was a wonderful arrangement. There were 5 or 6 "regular" kids, of mixed ages (infant-preschool)plus a few "occasional" kids. The woman who ran it is like a second mom to her. Some people I know have a hard time with their kid really bonding with the caregiver, but I felt that having my kid bond with her caregiver was very healthy. It was a great relief to me to know that my daughter was in loving, competent hands all day.
Many family day-care providers will allow early drop-offs, and the prices tend to be competitive with the Y and other daycare facilities. Drop me an e-mail if you want the number of the person I used. I don't know if she is taking kids now but she knows others in the business.
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ErinS
Citizen
Username: Erins
Post Number: 32
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 10:11 pm: |
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Essex County has an organization called Programs for Parents located in Montclair (973) 744-4050. They can provide a list of daycare in your area (including family care). What I like about this program is that everyone they recommend is state certified and I believe the caregivers have to attend a certan number of classes each year. |
algebra2
Citizen
Username: Algebra2
Post Number: 1216
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 10:24 pm: |
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Gemini -- I am a bit taken back by your comment. It's hard being a new mother and trying to find child care which you feel good with and provide for your family without reading responses like yours in the Please Help section.
Also, some people just like working and have found a nice balance with daycare, home life, and work responsbilities.
 |
lamojo
Citizen
Username: Lamojo
Post Number: 32
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, September 18, 2003 - 11:21 am: |
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Gemini - I agree with Algebra. As a new mother experiencing these same issues, I am constantly second guessing the choices we make for our family. I am really hard on myself, as I am sure Spanky is too. Comments like yours are frustrating and add to the considerable stress new parents endure. |
OK, it's Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 538
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, September 18, 2003 - 12:25 pm: |
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We used a referral service called Monday Morning. They have lists of home-based day care providers. We got some good providers, and when the provider was sick or away, we had a list of backups we could use. It was very useful. The problem is that the agency takes a cut of the fee, forever. Eventually, my provider went independent, breaking the agency's rules, and we stuck with her. So we got the best of both worlds: good provider, and didn't pay the agency its cut.
Monday Morning is at 908-685-0060, in Bridgewater.
Tom Reingold
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sportsnut
Citizen
Username: Sportsnut
Post Number: 535
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, September 18, 2003 - 12:48 pm: |
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Just my two cents. My son started in daycare at three months. He is now almost 5. In no way has he "suffered" by being away from his parents at such a tender young age. Both my wife and I earn very good salaries so there was never really any thought as to who would give up their career. So in that respect the decision for us was an easy one.
We made some mistakes along the way and we learned from them, however, constantly searching for the perfect place will drive you insane. Keep in mind that children, even very young ones, are very resiliant. The comfort you are looking for is not their its yours and with rare exception most places do a good job. We are now on our fourth provider in four years and each time we had to switch it was tougher on us than on our son. We lost our first provider when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, and we had ideology issues with how children should be handled. The fourth one has worked out perfectly for us.
I think that by both parents working we cherish the time that we have with him and I find myself enjoying every waking moment I have with him. I didn't miss his first steps, although my wife did, nor do I think I missed any other of his "milestones."
And thirteen years from now when he is ready to go to college I will be able to say to him that the skies the limit (hopefully) and he will be free to choose whatever college he wants to go to. I will be able to help him with the down payment on his first house etc. Me personally, I thank my parents more for paying for college than I do for them watching me take my first steps.
And the last thing is that just because we are both career oriented it doesn't mean that we love our child any less than those who "sacrifice" to be stay at home parents. There are pros and cons to each and the key is to find what works best for you.
lamjo - I feel for you. But trust your instincts you'll be right more often than wrong. When some of the mistakes that we made took their toll on our son and us we went through some serious soul searching. Don't be so hard on yourself. In the end you'll find yourself and your baby much happier. |
lamojo
Citizen
Username: Lamojo
Post Number: 33
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, September 18, 2003 - 2:42 pm: |
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Sportsnut - thanks for your support and your words of wisdom! |
sac
Citizen
Username: Sac
Post Number: 700
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, September 18, 2003 - 10:29 pm: |
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We had a nearly identical experience as Tom R with Monday Morning. Definitely check with them as a resource if you are interested in family daycare.
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jerome
Citizen
Username: Jerome
Post Number: 1
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Sunday, September 28, 2003 - 7:05 pm: |
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Another vote for Discovery. Both of our sons go there (21 months and 6 months). We've been delighted with the quality of the care there. |
Spanky
Citizen
Username: Spanky
Post Number: 15
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Monday, October 6, 2003 - 11:43 pm: |
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Where is Discovery?? |
joy
Citizen
Username: Joy
Post Number: 115
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 7, 2003 - 8:50 am: |
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My child goes to Discovery and she loves it. They are on Valley Street next to Pathmark.
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Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 78
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 7, 2003 - 9:02 am: |
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As with sportsnut, my daughter started in daycare -- a small homecare -- at about 3 months, and stayed there till 1-1/2. She is now nearly 10 and smart, healthy and well-adjusted. Like a lot of "only" children, she tends to be very self-directed. She was happy as a clam in her day nursery, too, which she attended from 1-1/2 to just short of 5. Started kindergarten early, for what it's worth.
Not everyone can afford to have one parent stay home. I know we can't, and pay the mortgage on our very modest Maplewood house. And, by the way, fathers can choose the flexible career, too. That's what we did for a time, though it was more accident of the job market than anything else.
As a former victim of the breast-feeding Nazis, and a veteran of the you-must-stay-if-you're-a-true-mom-wars, I think the doctrinaire stuff is a bunch of crap. Everyone should make the best possible choice for their family, in their circumstances. And moms who work shouldn't be made to feel guilty, ever. And moms who stay home shouldn't be made to feel like bovine halfwits. And dads who stay home should be more accepted - I know my husband wasn't. |
joy
Citizen
Username: Joy
Post Number: 116
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 7, 2003 - 11:53 am: |
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Amen Cynicalgirl. |
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